


The Stars Shine Bright

by AndAllMannerofThings



Series: The Stars Shine Bright [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Ahsoka tries to be strong all the time and sometimes it fails, Barriss is an emotional and mental mess that just needs a hug, Don't expect 40+ chapters of "will they or won't they", Explicit Language, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Post-Order 66, Slow Burn, The burn's on the faster side of slow, dangerous levels of cuddling, death ideation, expect an equally excessive amount of smooches, lots and lots of references to Legends, occasional graphic violence but nothing too gratuitious, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-11-08 19:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 81,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11088480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndAllMannerofThings/pseuds/AndAllMannerofThings
Summary: "Still, in another life, another universe where everything went right, no-one ever died, and watching starlight flicker in the night sky was the only thing anyone rushed to do, perhaps Barriss would have known what it was like to love."Alone in a galaxy gone mad with no-one but each other to trust, Ahsoka and Barriss struggle to find their place in life - and with each other.Update Schedule? Hahaha what's that?Currently on Break





	1. A Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a daring escape is made, a desperate retreat is performed, and an old friendship is reborn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> This lovely jumble of words and ideas is my first published work of any kind, though I have written way too many other things that never saw the light of day.  
> But you're not here to listen to that nonsense, you're here for Jedi, clones, coups, slow burn romance, lightsabers, sarcasm, unnecessarily numerable references to Star Wars (both canon and non-canon), emotional trauma, self-hatred, and gals being pals!  
> And I'll be damned if I keep you from it!  
> Note: As an AU, this fic ignores the Ahsoka novel completely, though otherwise should be able to line up with Rebels without too much of a fuss.

_“Execute Order Sixty-Six.”_

_\- Supreme Chancellor Sheev Palpatine, 19 BBY_

**Coruscant, Jedi Detention Facility, Lower Levels, 19 BBY**

Sometimes, when the nights dragged on and the moments of regret washed over her, Barriss wished that the Council had just executed her.

It would have been fitting, after all. A nice poetic gesture. She the avenging martyr, the Jedi a pack of fallen heroes. She was actually surprised that they didn’t do it. She had killed people. Jedi, clones, a handful of men and women at the wrong place at the wrong time. Oh, some of them had argued for her death, of course.

 _“We have to do_ something _!” Master Mundi said with tightly closed eyes. “All of those innocents are on her hands!”_

_“She’s a child!” Master Plo raised a hand. “And she’s a prisoner! Killing her would do nothing but show others the cruelty she sees in us!”_

_Commander Skywalker crossed his arms and stared out at the endless city skyline. “My apprentice is gone because of her.”_

_Master Kenobi stepped beside Skywalker and placed an arm on his student’s shoulder. “It’s alright, Anakin.”_

_“No,” Anakin’s nails dug into his palms. “it’s not.”_

Luminara wasn’t present at the sentencing. Officially, it was because the Master had urgent business to attend to elsewhere. Unofficially, it was whispered that Master Unduli couldn’t bear to look at Barriss as the punishment was delivered.

_“Detention until the end of the war.” It hit her like a hammer in the chest, blowing all of the air out of her lungs. “Expulsion from the Order. Minimum sentencing of fifty years, with a more formal punishment decided after the war has ceased.”_

Fifty years.

Minimum.

She had served eight months, and already she had started to lose track of the days as time slipped through her fingers.

She couldn’t stop replaying the events of those last few days over and over in her mind.

She knew the Jedi were corrupt, of course. They had all lost sight of what was important years ago. Shame it took an intergalactic war for her to finally realize it.

But what had her bomb accomplished, in the end?

People that didn’t deserve to die choked on their own blood while the Council drove the Order into the ground with renewed fervor.

The funny thing, though, was that of all the events of those final days that she kept examining again and again in her head, the one she always ended on was the look on Ahsoka’s face when she watched Barriss get dragged away.

Her face had been one of anger. Her mouth a thin snarl, her brows furrowed with a fury Barriss didn’t think was possible.

Her eyes, though, looked like they were a second away from crying.

_“You were my friend," those eyes said._

Ahsoka had been there for Barriss through thick and thin throughout the war. A shoulder to lean on when the pressure grew too much to bear. A friend to chat to when the flights between planets just seemed to last _forever_. Someone Barriss could trust with her own life.

And Barriss had just tossed her aside so casually, like a broken tool that had served its purpose.

_How could I be so stupid?_

Yet again, Barriss felt her hand trail up to her cheek - the same spot Ahsoka had planted a kiss in celebration following a successful skirmish in the Outer Rim. It had been a short, quick thing, scarcely a second long in the hangar of an assault ship, yet Barriss was reminded of it again and again now that Ahsoka was gone and she was alone with nothing but her regret.

_Why Ahsoka?_

“Offee. Dinner,” a cold, almost metallic, voice called from outside her cell, snapping Barriss out of her reverie. It belonged to a Temple Guard, one of the many who served as wardens down here. This particular guard, a tall man with thin shoulders, was one of the most regularly scheduled guards in this section of the prison. He was stoic, as expected by his position, yet a thin trace of something approaching pity leaked into his voice whenever he came to her cell.

A slot in the cell door opened halfway up it, and a tray bearing protein squares and a small glass of water floated through with a flick of the Temple Guard’s wrist. The tray came to a rest on the ground with a small clatter that seemed to echo indefinitely in the small room.

Barriss sat up in her bed, her unshaven hair hanging past her shoulders, and stared at the Temple Guard’s helmet through the viewing glass. “It’s night already?” she asked with some uncertainty in her voice.

“Indeed. Some news: General Grievous has been killed on Utapau by Master Kenobi. The remaining Separatist forces are routing. It appears that this war is all but over.” The Temple Guard’s words grew faster as he went along. “I have been instructed to inform you that a more formal trial has been scheduled for you by a senatorial committee.”

“So the Masters can parade me around in front of everybody again just to rub it in my face? No thanks.”

The Temple Guard didn’t move a muscle. “Regardless of your opinions, it will happen.” The Temple Guard closed the door slot and disappeared from view.

Barriss sighed, and levitated the tray up to herself with a swish of her hand. She had learned months ago that simply refusing to eat would get her nothing but a slightly uncomfortable visit to the infirmary and a barrage of disapproving glares as the medical droids simply injected the proper balance of nutrients through a quick jab with a needle.

The protein block was somehow even blander than it looked. The little grey cube tasted like paper, and the water was so distilled it was almost like breathing stale air. It was the same everyday, at the crack of dawn and the dark of night, yet it somehow managed to grow more disappointing with every bite. The thought that this is what she had to look forward to for years on end was not a comforting one.

Somewhere, far above her head, Barriss heard a grinding noise that could only be a transport ship docking at the detention center landing pad.

New arrivals, then. Though the timing was odd, far too late in the evening to be a regular transfer.

_An emergency, then._

Barriss closed her eyes tightly and reached out with the Force in an attempt to probe for whoever could be responsible for such a ruckus.

She felt nothing noteworthy save for the familiar presence of her fellow prisoners and the stalwart aura of the Temple Guards.

Barriss opened her eyes with a sigh, and took another bite of her protein block as the grinding ceased for a moment, only to start again with renewed vigor.

_Multiple transports? How many did the Council throw away this time? Twenty? Fifty!?_

Barriss rose to her feet unsteadily, and pressed her face against the glass of her cell door.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

A passing Temple Guard, not the one who gave her food, cocked her head towards Barriss. “Quiet.”

The grinding stopped completely, only to be replaced by a distant rumbling that seemed to shake the entire building.

“What the hell!” another prisoner cried somewhere down the hall.

“Silence!” the Temple Guard snapped, though Barriss could see her hand tighten around the hilt of her lightsaber pike. “Everyone stay calm!”

With that in mind, the Temple Guard promptly sprinted in the direction of the nearest turbolift, closely followed by two others who already had their lightsabers drawn.

Barriss craned her neck as far as she could, only to be met with an empty hallway.

“What the hell is going on!?” the same prisoner called again, panic leaking into his voice. “Is there a riot?”

_Hah! A riot in a prison guarded by Jedi? How would that even be possible?_

“You’re an idiot, Turi,” another voice said to Barriss’ left, “it’s just one of those training drills they’re always talking about starting! I was-”

With a sickening groan, the lights snapped off with a spray of sparks and hissing metal, plunging the entire hallway - and Barriss’ cell - into almost complete darkness.

Barriss yelped in surprise and waited for the emergency lights to activate. They didn’t.

The vague rumbling slowly grew more clear, as though it was growing closer, multiplying into several distinct sounds.

Blasters, grenades, and the occasional scream.

_We’re under attack. The Separatists?_

The sounds of battle grew so close that Barriss could almost count the individual blasts.

She had to get out, _fast_.

From the sounds of it, Turi and the other prisoner had come to this realization as well. Turi, evidently not a smart man, began to punch his door with all the strength he could muster, going by the sounds coming from his direction. The other prisoner cursed and began to mutter to himself incoherently.

Barriss closed her eyes and extended her hand, and used the Force to feel the inner workings of her cell door with as much delicacy as she could afford. There had to be _something._ There _had_ to be!

There was nothing she could use, not with what little time she had left. If she had her lightsaber she could just slice a hole through the durasteel. If she had more time to prepare, she might have even been able to unlock the mechanism, though that was doubtful.

Time and weapons were in short supply.

Footsteps rang out further down the hall, many footsteps. She knew those steps, those were the same sounds made by the boots of-

“Kill them all,” a clone said as though it were the most natural thing in the world. “The whole floor is flagged for termination.”

What?

_What!?_

“W-what are you doing!?” Turi sounded terrified as his door slid open. “No! Do-”

Four blasters fired simultaneously, and for a moment all Barriss saw was a blue flash of light as the shots illuminated the hall.

What the ever loving hell was going on?

The other prisoner’s door slid open. “Go ahead, you ba-”

Four more shots.

Barriss needed a weapon, now!

The food tray? No, too light to do anything. The bed? Bolted to the wall, no way to get it off in time. The Force? No, no, she’d never be able to take out all of them at once!

_Think, damn it!_

“One more, captain.”

Barriss hazarded a glance at the window, and saw the shadows of the clones approaching.

“This is the one that killed our brothers at the Temple?”

“Yessir.”

“Get it open.”

A clone dressed in the armor of the 501st stepped into view. His helmet was smeared with crimson and blue.

“Don’t fight,” he said with a wave of a keycard. “It’ll be fast, trai-”

The sound of a lightsaber slicing through the air cut the clone’s sentence short as a yellow arc of plasma lopped his head off his shoulders.

The clone landed on the ground with a heavy thud, and a Temple Guard appeared at the door, his mask also smeared with blood.

“Offee!” It was the same one from before.

“What in the name of all the gods in the galaxy is happening?” Barriss all but shouted.

“I... I have no clue! They just started shooting! The same thing is happening at the Temple! You have to get out of here!”

Barriss cocked an eyebrow, “Me?”

“Leaving you here would be no different than killing you myself.” He opened the door with the clone’s keycard. “And unlike you, I’m not a _murderer_.”

Barriss pointed at the headless clone, and the bodies of the three others down the hall in various degrees of dismemberment.

The Temple Guard let out a noise somewhere between an angry snarl and a pained groan.

Barriss knelt down and scooped up the fallen clone’s blaster rifle.

_Wouldn’t hurt to have this around._

“Are there still ships in the emergency hangar?” she asked as the pair ran down the twisting corridors.

“How do you know abo-”

“Master Luminara took me here once.”

“Yes. The clones shouldn’t have gotten there yet.”

Barriss panted, her body weakened from days spent staring at the wall. “Why are they doing this?”

The Temple Guard was quiet for a long moment as they neared a turbolift. “There were rumors that the Council was investigating Chancellor Palpatine. For what, I don’t know, but it looks like they found something they shouldn’t have.”

The Temple Guard punched in a long string of numbers into a keypad inside the lift. The carriage began to descend with a jerk.

“By the Force,” Barriss muttered. “Is this happening across the galaxy?”

The Temple Guard nodded.

“Sithspit.”

The lift came to a stop almost as suddenly as it had begun, and the doors slid open to reveal a small hangar barely large enough to hold the simply _ancient_ transport ship that sat at the docking moor. It was a small vessel, around 20 meters long, with a single outdated blaster cannon dangling from the bottom. Nestled in the back lay a set of triple engines that didn’t look fit enough to break the atmosphere, let alone make a haphazard retreat across the galaxy.

_That has to be older than the prison!_

“Get in!” shouted the Temple Guard. “Hurry!”

Barriss hopped up the ramp as quickly as she could, and desperately looked for the cockpit.

That wasn’t a tough goal, the ship was small enough that the makers had opted for an open floor plan. In the back wall, right in front of the engine room hatch, sat a bed covered in blankets and yellowed cushions. Directly across from the entrance was a bathroom and a small sink and stove that served as a kitchen.

_Now is not the time for appraisal!_

Barriss made her way to the cockpit, and began to fumble around with the controls.

The control panel sparked and flickered when Barriss flipped on the power. The Temple Guard continued to stare towards the lift.

“They’re coming,” he said, activating his lightsaber pike, “you must go.”

“What about you?” Barriss didn’t look away from the controls.

The Temple Guard removed a second lightsaber pike from somewhere beneath his cloak and pressed it into Barriss’ free hand.

“I swore an oath to safeguard the Order. That is what I’m about to do.” He stepped down the ramp.

“Wait!” She finally tore her eyes off of the displays. “Where should I go?”

The lift doors opened, and a group of fifteen clones stepped out, blasters raised.

“Just go!” he shouted as the first blast deflected off his blade.

Barriss raised the ramp and powered the engines, willing herself to ignore the muffled cries of pain coming from behind her.

Ahead, the skyline of Coruscant shined brightly, ignorant of what had happened.

 _Fuck_.

***

**Somewhere in Hyperspace**

Barriss finally allowed herself to relax when the blue-white streams of hyperspace enveloped the ship, taking her far, far away from the burning wreckage of the Jedi Temple. She had been surprised to find that not only was the entire galaxy _not_ in a panic, but also that nobody seemed to be showing the slightest interest. The HoloNet was abuzz with news, as always, but they were all trivial bits of information. Weather prediction adjustments. Podracing scores. Royal weddings light years away.

It was a terrifyingly quiet way to launch a coup.

The Chancellor, or Emperor as he was calling himself now, had given a speech about an assassination attempt by Mace Windu.

_Fucking impossible._

The Senate cheered and shouted as Palpatine dismantled thousands of years of democracy in the span of hours.

_They all wanted this._

It was... ridiculous? Nonsensical? How could this happen!?

 _Those damn fools! If they had just_ listened _!_

Listen to her? With all that innocent blood on her hands? Right, like the Jedi were just going to start taking orders from Padawans who had decided to turn into one-man terrorist cells!

Once again, she heard the screams in her ears. The clones, the Jedi, the scattering of mechanics and engineers just working the daily grind.

Lives cut short by her, as though she had pulled an unpleasant flower out of a garden.

Why was she still alive?

_Why didn’t they kill me?_

They should have. But it was too late for that now, she had to get to safety.

_Or I can turn myself in and finally pay for the bomb._

The HoloNet feed ceased its relentless nattering about sports, and suddenly pulled up a segment about the Siege of Mandalore.

_An entire army against a Sith who should be dead?_

The Sith, it turns out, didn’t really stand much of a chance. Maul fled from the planet bleeding and crippled under a hail of blaster fire and turbo lasers. Mandalore was free at last, for the first time in two years.

Barriss smirked despite herself.

_At least some justice was done today._

Something was curious, though. Almost all of the clones at Mandalore - men of the 501st, the best of the best, the ones who butchered the Jedi at the Temple - had strange markings painted on their helmets. Orange and white, almost exactly like-

Barriss’ jaw dropped.

There, standing on a broken staircase, was _h_ _er_.

Ahsoka. Lightsabers in hand.

“What the hell?” Barriss said to the picture. “Why are you - you left the - how?”

Ahsoka was covered in blood, dirt, and countless cuts and scratches, including what looked like a nasty lightsaber wound on her leg, yet there was a broad smile on her face. All teeth, just like Barriss remembered. A pair of clone troopers, both painted in orange and white, stood in the background with their blasters raised in celebration.

Barriss checked the timestamps on the images. Earlier this morning. While Barriss was sitting in this rust-bucket of a ship, Ahsoka was millions of miles from Republic space, surrounded by thousands of men that wanted her dead.

Barriss had two options, really.

One, crawl into a rock somewhere in the Unknown Regions and live.

Two, jump into the middle of a warzone unarmed, alone, and weak, on a suicidal mission to rescue one of the only people that ever gave a damn about her.

_Not a choice at all._

Barriss pulled up the navigator and plugged in the coordinates for Mandalore.

_Maybe this will make up for it._

It wouldn’t. But Barriss would be damned if that would stop her now.

***

**The Forests of Mandalore**

If there was one thing her life taught Ahsoka, it was to never underestimate how quickly everything could go to hell.

Earlier that morning, she stood triumphant over that bastard Maul and his rag tag bunch of lunatic mercenaries and battle droids. It had been a long battle, with many on both sides lying dead in the city squares.

But they had won, in the end, and the galaxy should have been a brighter place for it.

 _“We did it!” Rex whooped with joy, pulling Ahsoka into a tight hug that threatened to crush her ribs. “_ You _did it kid!”_

_The clones and Mandalorian loyalists in front of her raised their blasters in the air. Jubilant shouts and screams filled the air._

_Then the celebrations faded as the moans and whimpers of the wounded faded back into focus._

_“Wait til Anakin hears about this one!” Rex said, pulling his helmet from his sweat covered head. He ran a hand through his blond curls. “By the Force! I’m not gonna lie, Ahsoka, I had my doubts about this one. It never pays to bet against us, does it?”_

_Ahsoka laughed despite the burning in her leg. “I’m sure we’ve made a few troopers richer tonight!” She glanced at the snow beginning to fall across the city. “It’s a shame Duchess Satine couldn’t have seen this.”_

_Rex nodded, and offered her his arm to lean on. “Don’t worry, kid. We did good.”_

_A trooper, helmet hanging in his arms, sprinted up to them as though he was being chased by wolves. “Commanders! We just got news from the 212th! Grievous is dead!”_

_Troops all across the square turned their heads._

_When the second wave of cheering came, it was deafening._

Ahsoka continued her haphazard sprint through the snowdrifts and trees of Mandalore with her cloak flapping in the breeze, unwilling to stop for even a second. She had to keep running. She had to keep living. She had to get as far away from the city as possible.

Her lungs felt like they were on fire. Her leg, the one Maul had nearly lopped off as he fled battered and bloody, felt like it was going to explode.

_“Ahsoka!” Rex shouted, pistols blazing. “Are you hurt?”_

_Ahsoka stumbled to her feet as Maul finally realized he was beaten. “Just a scratch!”_

That scratch had quickly turned into a burning cut back in the city. Now, miles away in the cold dark of the forest, it brought tears to her eyes with every clumsy step.

It had all been so sudden. Mandalore’s sun had scarcely begun to set when Rex practically kicked the door to her temporary quarters down, his face full of panic.

 _“You need to get out of here._ Now _!” He put his helmet on and checked the ammo in his pistols._

_“What? Why?”_

_“The bastard actually did it!” Rex took Ahsoka by the arm and dragged her to the window. “Us clones are supposed to kill every Jedi we can!”_

_Ahsoka stared at him. “What?”_

_“It’s a coup! Palpatine’s declared himself Emperor! I... I’m immune to the orders. A few other commanders are. But you need to leave, right now!”_

_Ahsoka stepped towards the window. “This is happening all across the galaxy?”_

_When Rex spoke, he sounded like he was about to cry, “Yes.”_

_“Then Anakin and Master Kenobi-”_

_“Need help too! But right now you have to worry about yourself!” Rex glanced outside. “Normally, those men would die for you in a heartbeat. Right now, though, they’ll kill you on sight. Good soldiers follow orders.”_

_“Where can I go?”_

_Rex pointed to the south, towards the treeline. “There’s a town about sixty miles that way. No clones there, you should be able to get a ship and get away from this mess.”_

_Ahsoka nodded and climbed onto the windowsill. “What about you?”_

_Rex sighed. “They’re my brothers. I’ll try to stall them as long as I can, but I... I can’t kill them. I’ll be able to slip out later on, when all this chaos has blown over.”_

_Ahsoka slipped onto the outside ledge. “I understand.”_

_“Ahsoka,” Rex said as he stepped backwards towards the door, “it was an honor.”_

_“Likewise. Stay safe, Rex.”_

_Rex nodded one last time, and when he spoke she could hear the weight in his words. “You too, kid.” Then he poked his head out the door. “She’s not in here! Check the back passages!”_

_And like that, she was gone._

Ahsoka ducked her head and just barely missed colliding with a low branch. She needed to focus, push the thoughts of Jedi from her head. The thoughts of Anakin, Obi-Wan, Plo.

Even if they were fine and dandy, she wouldn’t be any use to them dead.

But it hurt. Not just her arms, or her head, or her failing leg.

Her heart hurt, as though she had just been stabbed over and over again. While she was running through the woods, men she had fought with for three years were killing people she had known since she was a toddler.

 _Anakin should be fine,_ _he’s come out of impossible situations again and again. Obi-Wan too._

But they were prepared when those times happened. They were expecting something to go wrong. How could anyone have predicted this?

_If I ever find Palpatine I’ll kill him._

Quick and easy was not a fate that would visit this “Emperor”.

The snow was growing thicker with every step, just as the trees were growing thinner. Soon, she would be out of the woods.

_Literally, not figuratively._

Then she just had to make it another fortyish miles to civilization. On foot. In a blizzard. With a badly wounded leg. All while being hunted by some of the best soldiers the galaxy had ever seen.

Great.

Ahsoka could see the starlight streaming through the trees as she neared the edge. Here the snow on the ground was as thick as it was high, and the storm showed no signs of letting up.

She couldn’t go on, though.

Ahsoka’s leg gave out with one final step, and the former Jedi collapsed to the ground with a short gasp of pain.

_Get up! Move!_

The snow was cold and wet, but oh so inviting compared to the burning agony of running.

Maybe she could rest for just a moment and get her bearings.

_Move! Every second you waste brings you one step closer to blasters!_

Ahsoka reached out to the Force, more for comfort and reassurance than an actual attempt to help heal herself. She was no medic, and even if she was, she would need more than the Force to help fix the gash. Ahsoka glanced down at her right leg, and found that the bandage she had been wearing was long gone. The skin around the wound had turned so dark it was almost black.

_Good thing lightsabers cauterize, or I never would have made it._

Her good fortune would run out, though, if she just continued to lay there.

Ahsoka climbed to her knees with a groan, and slowly, delicately, tried to stand.

Her right knee buckled under her immediately, and she fell forward into the snow again.

_Damn it! Move!_

Ahsoka again began to climb up onto one knee before she heard a sound that brought shivers to her spine.

Wolves. Many of them. Coming from the forest.

 _They must have been tracking me for miles_.

They were fearsome beasts, almost as tall as a man, with wild yellow eyes and charcoal fur. Their teeth looked like daggers.

“Easy there,” she said as calmly as she could. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The largest wolf stepped forward with bared teeth.

_Oh, shit._

Ahsoka took her lightsabers from her side and ignited them, bathing herself in green waves of light. Snow sizzled and crackled on the arcs of plasma, sending whiffs of steam into the air.

How picturesque.

_How many could I kill? Two? Four?_

There were at least eight of the beasts sizing her up.

_Huh. Never thought it’d be like this._

“Alright then,” she propped herself up on one leg. “C’mon.”

The wolves stared at her with hunger filled eyes. With the Siege going on, they must not have eaten for days.

_Poor things. I’m probably not even tasty._

At least she gave it her all. At least she had made a difference in the galaxy, however small.

At least someone would remember her.

Ahsoka readied her blades and closed her eyes in preparation for the attack.

Then she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

When she finally opened her eyes, the wolves were gone, their tracks already covered by fresh snow.

_What?_

Something must have spooked them. The clones, then? Were they already within an arm's reach of her?

_Damn it! Move!_

Ahsoka sheathed her lightsabers and turned away from the woods. The blizzard was approaching white-out conditions now, and she could barely see twenty meters.

_Figures, the one time it snows on a desert world, and I have to run through it._

She could feel... something... approaching. Something with a sizable connection to the Force. Something strangely familiar yet also unexpected at the same time.

Through the fog and the wind, Ahsoka saw - more like felt, really - a ship touch down far in front of her.

The clones must have found her after all.

_You tried Rex. It’s not your fault._

A figure started approaching her with what looked like a blaster slung over their shoulder.

Ahsoka reached for her lightsabers, and managed to remove one from her belt.

The familiar green glow illuminated the next few feet around her, though not nearly enough to be comforting.

“J-just make it quick.” Ahsoka forced herself to stand.

The figure paused upon hearing her voice amongst the deafening wind, and it sprinted towards her.

_I’m sorry, Anakin. I’m sorry, Obi-Wan. Just wasn’t my fate to be a hero, I guess._

Barriss Offee ran into the dim circle of light cast by Ahsoka’s saber. She looked _horrible_. The orange prison jumpsuit she wore was baggy and loose on her frame. Her hair was dirty and hanging past her shoulders. Her cheeks were hollow, and her yellow skin was paling. But there was still fire in those blue eyes, just like Ahsoka remembered.

_Okay, now I’m definitely hallucinating._

“Ahsoka! Thank the Force! Are you alright?” Her voice was hoarse and weary, but it was definitely Barriss.

Ahsoka didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ahsoka’s lightsaber slipped through her fingers and fell to the ground with a hiss.

When Ahsoka fell forward again, Barriss caught her. Barely.

“Oh!” Barriss buckled under the sudden weight. “Okay, okay!” She stumbled backwards. “We’ll, uh, get this all straightened out! I have some medical supplies on the ship!”

_Get your hands off me!_

_Don’t let go._

Barriss scooped up the fallen saber and looped it back onto Ahsoka’s belt before helping the latter make it to the ship.

“W-what are you doing here?” Ahsoka managed to ask between heavy breaths.

“I should ask you the same! You were supposed to be out of the Order, not leading a siege!”

“And you should be in prison!” Ahsoka spat the words like a curse.

Barriss didn’t say anything in turn, though her pace quickened so that Ahsoka had to struggle harder to keep up.

The ship was unimpressive, to say the least.

_The thing had more rust and wires than a junkyard!_

“How did you even find me?” Ahsoka faltered up the ramp.

“I saw you on the HoloNet, believe it or not. I nearly burnt out the hyperdrive getting here as fast as I could! I figured you only could have gotten so far from the city since this all started. From there, it was just a matter of sifting your presence out from everything else.”

_Impressive._

“S-show off!” Ahsoka collapsed onto a metal crate resting against the wall and closed her eyes for a moment.

“That’s rich coming from the one that just beat a Sith!” Barriss pulled a small medical kit off the wall and rummaged around inside.

“How did you get off of Coruscant?”

Barriss frowned. “One of the guards freed me before the clones could execute me. The rest of the prisoners didn’t make it.”

_You could have helped them!_

_How? She did what she could!_

“And the ship?”

Barriss removed a large syringe filled with a fluorescent green-yellow liquid from the kit. “It’s an emergency shuttle that sat in a forgotten hangar for years.”

Barriss looked at Ahsoka’s leg with a grimace. “Why didn’t you get your leg healed?”

“I didn’t have time for a full bacta treatment. Besides, there were wounded that needed it more.”

Barriss smiled, and lowered the needle to just below Ahsoka’s knee, right where the cut began. “Always the hero. This will burn like hell.”

_It can’t be that ba-_

It was worse.

The burnt flesh of her leg burst into flame again, as though Maul had returned to finish his sloppy cut.

“Oh-fu-go-ah!”

Eloquent as always.

She could feel every drop of the horrible medicine work its way through the limb.

“Th-that was an understatement,” Ahsoka said when the pain finally began to dissipate.

“Sorry. How does it feel?”

Ahsoka flexed her leg and winced. “It still hurts a lot. But it’s better.”

Barriss removed a long roll of micro-gauze from the kit. “You’ll have to change this everyday until it heals fully. Lightsabers cauterize pretty well, but the last thing you need is an infection.”

“Listen, I’m not ungrateful,” Ahsoka said as she winced at the pressure of the bandaging, “but why are you here? If I were you, the last place I’d want to be would be the middle of a clone battalion!”

_Says the one who was just leading a clone battalion._

“You were the only Jedi that I knew the location of. And I... after what happened at the Temple, this is the least I could do.”

_Thank you._

“Thank you. Could you do me another favor?”

Barriss tied off the bandage. “What?”

“Get us the fuck away from here, and get us something to eat!”

Barriss smiled. It actually reached her eyes.

***

**Outskirts of the Mandalore System**

“This is awful.” Ahsoka chewed on the ration as though contemplating it would somehow make it taste better.

“Yes. This is actually worse than the food in prison.” Barriss wiped her mouth on the sleeves of her prison jumpsuit. “First things first, we need to get supplies, maybe a better ship if we can.”

Ahsoka snorted. “With what money?”

Barriss reached into the bag sitting next to her and removed a lightsaber pike.

_A Temple Guard’s blade._

“I assume these are still worth something?” Barriss smirked. “I figure we can probably sell it to a collector that actually knows what they’re worth. The emitter should be popular for bounty hunters soon enough, if that doesn’t work.”

The significance of what she just said filled the air, and both former Jedi blinked.

“How many do you think have died?” Ahsoka stared at the floor.

“Too many.” Barriss put the lightsaber back in the bag. “I’m sure Anakin and Obi-Wan are fine, Ahsoka. They’re the best the Order had.”

_Past tense._

“I thought I would feel it in the Force if Anakin died, but there’s nothing.”

Barriss was quiet for a moment as she closed her eyes in concentration. “I feel nothing. A void.”

Ahsoka rose to her feet. “We need to regroup and figure out a plan. It’s too dangerous to just go running back to Coruscant. And we  _do_ need supplies.”

Barriss narrowed her eyes. “We? You actually do want to stay with me? After all I did?”

Ahsoka took a deep breath. “I’m not going to lie to you and say that all is forgiven. It’s not. Not even close. But you still saved my life, and like it or not we may as well be the only Je- _former_ Jedi left in the galaxy.”

Barriss looked at Ahsoka as though she had just seen her for the first time. All wide eyes and raised eyebrows. “That means a lot. Truly.”

Ahsoka smiled weakly. “Sure, sure. Besides, I know you’d just get yourself killed without me! Remember Geonosis?”

Barriss grimaced, “Geonosis doesn’t - it doesn’t count!”

“What about Mygeeto?”

The grimace grew even deeper. “You swore you would _never_ talk about Mygeeto!”

Ahsoka’s smile vanished. “I’m not good with promises. Now, c’mon. Let's find some corner of space to sleep.”

Barriss mulled it over in her head, and plugged in a set of coordinates into the navigator. “How about Nar Shaddaa?”

_Dangerous, corrupt, full of criminals. Never part of the Republic, a veritable haven for smugglers and slavers, bounty hunters and murderers._

“Perfect.”

Barriss flicked a switch, and the ship vanished into hyperspace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, I have a few things I want to say.  
> First off, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Things (in my opinion) get better from here!  
> Secondly, some general notes:  
> 1) The ship Barriss borrows/steals is not based off of any models in Star Wars canon, though I wouldn't be too surprised if there was one that was similar.  
> 2) The events regarding Ahsoka's duel with Maul and eventual flight into the woods are based somewhat off of the Ahsoka novel, though it is obviously divergent in many, many ways (Ahsoka and Rex don't fake their deaths, Ahsoka is wounded, etc).  
> 3) The medicine Barriss gives Ahsoka is meant to be a sort of generalized painkiller/disinfectant, not a magical cure all (This wound will bother Ahsoka for a while).


	2. We All Have Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Barriss has emotions, Ahsoka tries to be strong, problematic sleeping arrangements are made, shady characters are dealt with, lightsabers are sold, and Barriss is awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, this is a long one! I was already three quarters of the way finished with this chapter when the first one was published, so that's why this one is being added so soon. Anyway, here we go!

_“It was quiet. So quiet. The galaxy slept while freedom died. No-one gave a damn.”_

_\- An Anonymous Rebel Officer, 5 ABY_

**Nar Shaddaa, 19 BBY**

It turned out that Ahsoka wasn’t the only one that had bad dreams.

The two had been asleep for only about four hours - Ahsoka still in her torn clothing from Mandalore, Barriss still in her orange prison jumpsuit - when Ahsoka’s eyes snapped open.

She was grateful, actually, despite how exhausted she was. Her sleep had been restless, her dreams nonsensical and filled with shrieks of pain and the screams of countless blasters firing in unity.

_Thank the Force._

Then she realized why she had been startled out of slumber.

Barriss was crying.

_Oh._

Ahsoka sat up in her bed and looked across the dark room to the gathering of blankets and spare cushions that Barriss was sleeping on.

_“You don’t have to sleep on the floor,” Ahsoka said with a raise of her eyebrow. “It’s fine. You can have the bed.”_

_“No. You’re wounded, you deserve the bed.” Barriss smiled sadly. “Besides, I got so used to the prison quarters that an actual bed is too soft.”_

_Always melodramatic._

Barriss was curled up with her arms wrapped around her legs in something approaching a fetal position. Her entire body was shaking with every choked sob and each rattling breath.

_Oh._

“Barriss?” Ahsoka whispered as she rubbed the remnants of sleep from her eyes.

If Barriss heard her, she was doing an admirable job at ignoring it.

“Barriss?” Ahsoka rose to her feet slowly, unwilling to aggravate her leg. “You alright?”

_Nothing._

Barriss continued to cry, deaf to the world. She was obviously asleep.

_Great._

_Should I even wake her up?_

Whatever hesitation Ahsoka felt vanished when Barriss mumbled a name.

“Ahsoka.”

_Oh, damn it._

She had to do something now.

Ahsoka knelt down next to the sleeping woman as quietly - and painlessly - as she could, and tapped Barriss on the shoulder. “Hey.”

Barriss’ eyes flew open so swiftly that Ahsoka nearly yelped in surprise. She looked up at Ahsoka with a tear streaked face that seemed all too young in the dim light of the room.

“Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka chuckled. “Well, I would certainly hope so!”

“Is it dawn already?” Barriss blinked, sending a few more tears sliding down her cheeks.

“Nope.”

“Then I woke you up?”

Ahsoka smiled in a way she hoped was reassuring. “Yep.”

Barriss averted her eyes and stared at the wall. “I’m sorry.”

Ahsoka’s smile deepened. “It’s alright. What’s up? Bad dreams?”

Barriss nodded. “The same I’ve been having for months.”

_Of course._

“The Temple?” Ahsoka asked with a hint of unbidden anger.

Barriss choked back a sob. “Yes, the Temple. All of those people! I see them almost every night.”

Ahsoka didn’t know how to feel about that.

“They were all there, streaked in blood and soot!” Barriss continued. “Screaming my name over and over again! Letta kept clawing at her throat!”

_I can’t say I’m surprised._

“But the worst part,” Barriss was crying again, “was what they did to _you._ ”

Ahsoka frowned. “What happened?”

Barriss shuffled about, as though she was trying to will herself to melt into the floor of the ship. “The Council didn’t just arrest you, they k-killed you. I couldn’t do anything about it! I just kept banging on the door over and over and over and over-”

Barriss descended into incoherent sobs.

“Hey, hey,” Ahsoka said as she started to rub Barriss’ shoulder, “it’s alright.”

Barriss seemed to relax a little. “How can you say that? How is any of this alright!? Everyone we know is dead and everything we care about is getting destroyed in front of our eyes and-”

_She’s right._

_But Anakin would be strong._

_Anakin would be strong._

“Shh, shh.” Ahsoka cooed, still rubbing Barriss’ shoulder. “It’s alright. We’re alive, and we’re together. That’s more than a lot of people can say.”

“How do you do it?” Barriss asked, finally turning her gaze to Ahsoka. “How do you always find a way to make everything seem so easy?”

_It’s hard._

_So hard._

Ahsoka smiled. “It’s kind of been my job for the last three years, and I’m not going to stop anytime soon!”

“But why?” Barriss drew in a deep breath. “You _must_ hate me.”

_Never._

“I don’t hate you, Barriss,” Ahsoka said softly. “I don’t think I ever could.”

Barriss breathed in again and closed her eyes. When she opened them, those pools of ice seemed to stare at Ahsoka as though she was a collapsing star. “You’re too kind.”

“No, I’m not,” Ahsoka said. “Are you alright?”

Barriss nodded and laid back on her makeshift bed. “I think so. Yes.”

“Good. Good.”

Ahsoka started to rise to her feet when Barriss turned to look at her again.

“Wait,” Barriss said, “could you, uh-” Her face flushed forest green, “-could you stay here, for a moment? Just until I fall asleep again?”

_This is starting to sound like a trashy holonovel._

“Alright,” Ahsoka replied as she pulled her pillow into her hands with a flick of her wrist, “if you promise to go to sleep!”

Barriss giggled. “Now you sound like Master Lumi-”

Silence filled the room.

“I’m sorry,” Ahsoka said.

_It’s the only thing I have to say._

“I know.” Barriss edged closer to the wall to make room. “It doesn’t make it any easier, though.”

Ahsoka laid down next to Barriss and stared at the ceiling. “I know.”

Barriss sighed. “Thank you, Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka closed her eyes. “Anytime.”

***

Dawn, like most things on Nar Shaddaa, came harshly.

Throughout the night the sounds of countless screams, engine malfunctions, arguments, and blasters rang out across the moon.

Yet Ahsoka slept through it like a baby.

When the first ray of sunlight cut its way into the ship, however, Ahsoka’s eyes flashed open immediately.

She noticed five things at once.

One, the bundle of blankets wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as it looked.

Two, despite sleeping for what must have been at least nine hours based off of Nar Shaddaa’s longer than average rotation time, she still felt exhausted.

Three, her leg was actually feeling the slightest bit better.

Four, Barriss’ hair smelt of spices and wildflowers. Must have been the soap in the bathroom.

Five, her arm was wrapped around Barriss as though her life depended on it. It was nice.

_Oh no._

_Okay, okay._

_Think._

How long had they been lying like this? A few minutes? A few hours?

_Is she awake?_

_Oh, by the Force,_ please _, don’t be awake._

If Barriss was awake, well, this would be terribly, terribly awkward.

If she wasn’t, then there was a chance, however small, that Ahsoka could just pretend it hadn’t happened at all.

_Alright, easy does it._

_Please, for the love of all that is right in the universe, don’t wake up._

With a sense of delicacy Ahsoka normally reserved for disarming explosives, she lifted her fingers off of Barriss.

The sleeping woman mumbled something incoherent, and Ahsoka’s breath caught in her throat.

Then the noise stopped, and Barriss grew silent once again.

_I think my heart just skipped a beat._

Ahsoka managed to let go of Barriss without incident, and she offered silent thanks to the Force.

_Thank you, o glorious Light._

_Though you could have done something yesterday, too._

Ahsoka rose to her feet unsteadily, wincing all the while at the pain in her leg, and she took a seat next to the medical kit.

_Time to see the damage._

The gauze stung coming off, and the wound looked just as burnt and blackened as the night before.

_Not really sure what I expected._

She was halfway through applying new bandaging when Barriss finally awoke.

“Morning,” Ahsoka said.

“Morning.” Barriss sat up and stretched her arms. “What’s up?”

_Mission accomplished. Crisis averted._

_“Well done, General Tano,” Admiral Yularen’s voice said in her mind. “Stellar work as always.”_

Ahsoka tied off the bandage and bit back the pain. “Nothing much. I was just going to try to get something hot to eat.” She removed a single credit chit from her pocket. “And even on Nar Shaddaa you can’t just go traipsing around in a prison uniform.”

Barriss looked down at herself and frowned. “I don’t _traipse_.”

Ahsoka laughed as she stepped towards the ramp. “Whatever. Any preferences?”

Barriss thought for a moment. “Something black, if they have it. Oh! And a scarf too, if you wouldn’t mind.”

_Anything else, my ladyship?_

“Alright.” She rubbed her finger over the chit. “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll be back.”

Barriss waved. “Yep. Have fun.”

Ahsoka smiled and waved in return. “Of course.”

Ahsoka turned away from the ship towards the rest of Nar Shaddaa, and the smile slid off of her face.

_People_ live _here?_

Coruscant, while home to its own awful slums and criminal scum, at least had a few layers of shiny durasteel and glittering windows to put up a front of civilization.

Nar Shaddaa didn’t even _have_ a front. Every building in sight, from the smallest ramshackle power station to the largest tower, was covered in a thick layer of dirt and grime. In the distance, massive smokestacks pumped vast clouds of acrid smog into the air. The smell seemed to cling to everything, including the crowds of people winding through the landing pad Barriss had placed the ship.

Nal Hutta, Jewel of the Hutts, gleamed in all its sickly green glory overhead.

Ahsoka tapped her lightsabers - carefully hidden in a small pouch at her side - and disappeared into the crowd that moved towards the nearest marketplace.

Ahsoka had heard many stories about Nar Shaddaa. She never had expected that they would all be true.

The buzz of countless beings talking, innumerable speeders flying, and droids chittering in mechanical languages, all blurred together into one overwhelming sound.

It almost managed to block out the occasional piercing scream of someone getting shanked.

Almost.

_And I thought the Coruscant Underbelly was bad._

Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity of shuffling and bumping into angry aliens, Ahsoka found herself in a small storefront that seemed practically spotless compared to the rest of the city.

Which meant, of course, that it was only slightly disgusting.

A Gran with one blind eye turned his head from the HoloNet projector.

“Hey there, youngin’,” he drawled in heavily accented Basic, “you lost?”

_Definitely._

Ahsoka stepped forward. “You could say that, old timer.”

The Gran snorted. “Well you came to the wrong world.”

“I thought the Smuggler’s Moon was where people went to get lost?”

The Gran looked her up and down with his two good eyes. “Maybe you came to the right world. What do I care? Y’need somethin’, or ya just keeping me from my show?”

“I need some clothes, some food, and somebody who buys stuff without asking questions.”

“Well, you definitely came to the right world then. If it’s clothes you need, there’s a shop up the street for anything short of a Wookie. If it’s food, there’s a Weequay down the way with a stand. Don’t let him spice anything and you’ll do fine. The last one you’ll find pretty much anywhere on this fuckin’ moon, but you can try a Trandoshan by the name of Shalashk Vorktu. He deals with all sorts of people with this ‘n that. You’d probably find him down at the _Rancor_ this time ‘o day.”

Ahsoka nodded, and shot a glance at the HoloNet. “You hear about the whole Empire thing?”

“It’s all anyone’s fuckin’ talking about. I don’t see what the big deal is, myself. Republic never gave half a damn about us out here ‘cept when some money could be made. Empire’s not going to do anything different. Course, some fools are celebrating as though it’s the end of the universe.”

_Celebrating!?_

The Gran continued. “They think the Empire will be too busy setting itself up to even bother checking in on us. Probably right, too. But it doesn’t change anything.”

Ahsoka nodded again. “Be seeing you.”

The Gran waved his hand. “No, ya won’t.”

***

Barriss started studying the lightsaber pike as soon as Ahsoka had left. It was a fine weapon, well crafted like all of the Temple Guard blades. Yet there was a certain lack of passion in it. The maker had seen it in purely mechanical terms. A pair of crystals. Two emitter arrays. A power switch. A shaft of alloy. A couple of token engravings.

_A damn shame. This could have been something beautiful._

How very Jedi of her to find beauty in weapons.

Barriss flicked one of the yellow blades on and stared into the light.

_I wonder who used this._

_No, you don’t. You’re still trying to not think about last night._

Barriss sighed and turned off the saber before placing it back into the bag.

_She must think me a child._

She had told herself multiple times as the two of them had gotten ready for sleep that she wouldn’t have the dreams again. Of course, dreams usually have a mind of their own.

_She could have just let me cry myself out._

But she didn’t. Instead, Ahsoka had calmed her down and slept by her side.

_This is who I decided to frame for murder._

_You really know how to pick them, Barriss._

Barriss’ stomach rumbled.

_Kind or not, you’re really taking your sweet time._

Finally, just when Barriss was considering another one of those garbage rations, the ship’s ramp opened.

_About time._

“Voila,” Ahsoka said, dumping a bundle of clothes onto Barriss’ blankets. “The scarf was a little tricky to find, believe it or not! Oh, the rest might be a little baggy, too, but it should work.” Ahsoka nodded towards a pair of containers balancing in her arms. “Soup.”

Barriss examined the clothing. A simple scarf. A simple dress shirt. Pants that would probably reach past her feet.

_There she goes again with the kindness._

_Just wait until you give her a reason to remember what you did._

“Thanks.” Barriss took one of the soup containers and glanced inside. “What, uh, is this made out of?”

Ahsoka shrugged as she took her seat on another crate. “Something with too many legs, I think. The Weequay didn’t say, and I didn’t ask.”

Barriss sniffed the bowl. “It’s edible?”

“Apparently it’s a family recipe.”

“Oh, good. What took you so long, anyway?”

Ahsoka produced a pair of spoons. “I did a little bit of snooping while I was out and about. Apparently people are celebrating!”

_Of course they are._

“People are idiots.” Barriss took a tentative bite/ “This isn’t actually that bad!”

Ahsoka followed suit, “It... it kinda _is_ that bad. I think you’re just used to food that tastes like dirt!”

“Dirt would have been preferable, honestly.” Barriss took another few spoonfuls of the thick mixture. “Did you find out anything else?”

Ahsoka’s face grew grim. “They’re calling it the Jedi Purge. The entire Council is dead or missing. Including Anakin and Obi-Wan.”

_Damn it!_

“Senator Amidala died. Some sort of heart attack during the Purge. No-one with half a brain believes that story, though. Some say Palpatine had her killed for opposing his rise.”

_That sounds like her. Brave, fearless._

“I’m sorry,” Barriss said, “I know you two were friendly.”

Ahsoka didn’t say anything.

“Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka continued to pick at her bowl. “Master Plo was confirmed dead.”

_Oh._

Good Old Plo. Plo, the one who seemed to actually still stand for the old ways. Plo, who fought the Council’s slippage to the Dark tooth and nail. Plo, who had a kind word for everybody. Plo, who watched over his clones like they were his own children.

“I’m... nothing I can say would make it better.” Barriss frowned. “But if any of them are with the Force, it’s Plo.”

Ahsoka sipped more soup. “Yeah.”

The two sat in silence for a moment.

“I think anakin and Obi-Wan are still alive,” Ahsoka said at last. “I didn’t feel anything in the Force.”

_You didn’t feel anything about Plo, though._

“Ahsoka, the odds of them being the only survivors out of the entire Council is-”

Ahsoka’s furrowed her brow. “They’re Jedi, Barriss! The best of the best! You said that yourself! When the hell did Anakin ever give a damn about _odds_!?”

_There it is._

“Ahsoka,” Barriss replied as she put her soup down, “I know they’re the best. But we have to be realistic about thi-”

Ahsoka frowned. “Why do you care? You tried to kill Anakin!”

_I did._

Barriss opened her mouth to speak, but Ahsoka didn’t stop. “I should have been with him, Barriss! I should have been there with him above Coruscant! I should have been there with him when he... when he... when...”

Ahsoka threw her bowl across the ship, and it shattered against the bathroom door.

Ahsoka hadn’t shed a single tear, yet she looked like she was standing at the edge.

_She would have been there if it wasn’t for me._

“He might still be alive,” Barriss said, “Obi-Wan always looked out for him, even when Anakin got his own apprentice. But if you were there with him, you might be dead instead of sitting here, violently redecorating my ship with awful soup while I try to ignore this jumpsuit’s itchiness.”

Ahsoka chuckled a little.

_Thank the Force for that one._

“ _Your_ ship?” Ahsoka asked, finally looking Barriss in the eye.

“Well, I am kind of the default owner, now. Kind of.”

“I don’t think Republic ship laws recognize finders-keepers!”

Barriss smiled, “Good thing we’re not in Republic space!”

Ahsoka sighed, and she practically deflated into her seat. “Sorry about that. I don’t blame you.”

“Why not? You would never have left the Order if it wasn’t for me framing you.”

Barriss heard a bomb explode.

“Maybe, but it was still my choice, in the end.”

_Just like it was mine to become a murderer._

“Anyway,” Ahsoka said as she rose, “I’ll wash up and then we can go sell that saber.”

“You found a buyer already?” Barriss was incredulous.

“Not _just_ yet.” Ahsoka grew sheepish. “But I know where to find one! There’s a cantina not too far from here that’s a favorite for pirates and bounty hunters! Your hunch was right, every damn idiot with a blaster and two brain cells to rub together is planning on getting as many lightsabers as possible for proof of death.”

_Criminals are nothing if not predictable._

“Already?”

Ahsoka picked her broken bowl up off the floor. “It was your idea!”

“Yes, but still! I guess word travels fast, huh?”

“Now we just have to not get killed, and we’ll have a sack of credits to live with!”

_Easier said than done._

***

_The Shouting Rancor_ looked exactly like the sort of place a cantina named after a gigantic, violent animal should look like. Spilled drinks, rusty tables, the omnipresent awful music played by a barely conscious musician. Small crowds of beings from all over the galaxy elbow to elbow at too-small booths sipping drinks as questionable as their owners.

_Another day in paradise._

Barriss fiddled with the end of her scarf, and made sure the thin fabric sat properly on her head.

“Ahsoka? Are you sure this is the place?” Barriss stopped a few meters from the entrance.

_Please say no._

“No,” Ahsoka snapped in a voice dripping with sarcasm, pointing to a building far, far in the distance, “it’s that one over there.”

Barriss huffed. “Fine. You don’t have to get testy.”

“Just follow my lead,” Ahsoka said.

A Trandoshan nearly as tall as he was broad stood to the side of the entrance. His arms were crossed and his stance was loose, but Barriss had no doubt that he could reach the pair of blaster pistols holstered at his hips in a fraction of a second.

“Hey there,” Ahsoka said in a weary, nonchalant tone, “this the _Rancor_?”

The Trandoshan raised a brow. “You can read, can’tcha?”

Ahsoka narrowed her eyes. “Can you?”

The Trandoshan uncrossed his arms, “I can read what I need to. Know all my letters, and then some.”

“Are you Shalashk Vorktu?” Ahsoka folded her own arms. “A friend of yours said you're in the business of buying and selling things the authorities frown upon.”

“That depends. Who’s the friend, and who’re you?”

Ahsoka rubbed the back of her head. “The Gran with one eye.”

_Sounds trustworthy._

“Ah, Grinqo. Good man. And you?” The Trandoshan gestured towards the both of them.

“I’m Ashla,” Ahsoka said without a hint of hesitation, “Ashla Fiyeea.”

The Trandoshan turned his gaze towards Barriss. “And you?”

Ahsoka looked at Barriss expectantly with a strained smile.

_Uh._

Luminara - _Master_ Unduli, that is - had gone over plans and fake identities once, some time before the Clone Wars began.

_Come on, damn it! What did we agree on?_

“I’m...” Barriss bit her lip. “...Rija.”

“You got a last name, Rija?” the Trandoshan inquired.

_Uh._

“Rija,” Barriss said again, “Rija... Fiyeea.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened slightly.

The Trandoshan stared at Barriss and Ahsoka for a moment before waving his hand dismissively with a snort. “Ain’t none of my business. You two looking to buy? I know where you can get your hands on some quality spice, if that’s your thing.”

“No,” Barriss replied, “That’s not our thing.”

_I must look like a fool._

“What my friend here is saying-” Ahsoka waved her hand nonchalantly. “-is that we were hoping you could buy something from us instead.”

The slight ripple in the Force coming from Ahsoka was unmistakable.

She was trying to pull off a mind trick.

_Ah, classic._

The Trandoshan narrowed his eyes in what could either have been confusion or annoyance.

“I don’t... I don’t normally buy from random waifs that find me,” he said with an air of finality in his voice.

“Reasonable,” Barriss interjected, “but we think you’ll like what we have.”

The Trandoshan rubbed at his reptilian chin. “I... I... Oh, why the fuck not? C’mon, I’ll get us a table and I’ll humor you.” He pointed at Ahsoka accusingly. “If you’re wasting my time, girl, _you’re buying the drinks._ ”

_He said that like it was worse than death._

“Alright. Lead the way,” Ahsoka said, lowering her hand down to her side.

The Trandoshan nodded and made his way into the bar.

“Barriss,” Ahsoka hissed as the pair trailed after him, “you couldn’t think of a single last name?”

_No?_

“Sorry, not all of us spend our free time working on aliases! Do you have a full backstory already worked out?”

Ahsoka averted her eyes. “Anakin and I used to come up with fake identities if we ever had to go undercover for some reason.”

_Of course you did._

Barriss glanced at the floor. “He probably just thinks we’re sisters or something like that.”

Ahsoka laughed. “ _Definitely_. I mean, just look at us! Practically identical!”

Barriss pursed her lips and slid into a cramped booth the Trandoshan had picked. The table was in the far corner from the entrance, and offered a vantage point of almost the entire room.

_He’s smarter than he looks._

_And smarter than he smells._

“You two want anything to drink?” Shalashk grunted.

“Tea, if they have it,” Ahsoka said.

“Something strong.” Barriss steepled her fingers.

Shalashk snorted. “Hey, Hujio!” he called to the bartender. “Two sunsets and a glass of tea.”

Shalashk turned his gaze back to the pair. He eyed them both carefully, as though he hadn’t just spoke to them outside.

“Why’re you on Nar Shaddaa?” he asked as the bartender slammed the drinks down onto the table.

Barriss sniffed her drink and winced at its strength. “Why is anyone? To disappear.”

“Fair enough, kid. But you don’t look like the type to come to the Smuggler’s Moon. Most people here got a certain... hardness in them. You two, though, you’re different. You haven’t been at this long, have you?”

Ahsoka narrowed her eyes. “Don’t worry about it, friend.”

“I ain’t your friend, lady.” Shalashk licked his lips. “But I get your point. Now, tell me, what do you two have that you think is worth more than a few credits?”

Barriss removed the Temple Guard’s lightsaber from the bag slung over her shoulder and slammed it onto the table.

Shalashk stared at it open mouthed.

“Holy fuck.”

Ahsoka and Barriss smiled.

“You. Well. You should have just.” Shalashk drained the rest of his drink. “You two are more dangerous than you look, aren’t you?”

Ahsoka placed her hand on the lightsaber. “Maybe we are. What do you think?”

“I’m thinking that this is worth _a lot_ of credits to _a lot_ of different people.” Shalashk cooed. “Where’d you get it?”

Barriss leaned back in her seat. “That’s not your business.”

Shalashk grimaced, “Actually, I think it really _is._ In case you two have been living under a rock in Wild Space, you know that all the Jedi are as good as dead. That saber isn’t just a fancy antique now. That right there is a damn death certificate!”

_You don’t say._

“Look, if you don’t think you’re brave enough to deal with us, then we’ll find somebody else!” Ahsoka started to remove it from the table.

“Oh for fuck’s - I know a few people that’ll be interested in it, no questions asked. And if that doesn't work, I can always just turn it in as a bounty.”

_How original._

“And they’ll believe that you were able to kill a Jedi?” Barriss asked.

“No offense, but you don’t exactly strike me as the Cad Bane type,” Ahsoka added, putting the saber back on the table.

Shalashk grimaced. “I guess I’m not. For starters, I’m actually still alive!”

Barriss blinked. “Oh, he’s dead?”

Shalashk smiled. “Yeah, some punk bitch in Mando’ armor put the bastard down a few weeks back.”

_Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy._

“Anyway,” Shalashk continued, “don’t you worry about my end. Empire won’t care none how I got it. I reckon they’ll be drowning in sabers soon enough any how.”

Ahsoka grinned. “So we have a deal?”

Shalashk’s eyes didn’t leave the lightsaber. “Yeah. I’ll give you 50,000.”

Barriss huffed. “Being a miser doesn’t suit you, Mr. Vorktu. Everybody knows a real lightsaber is worth _at least_ 100,000, and that was _before_ there was actually any demand for the things!”

If Shalashk was impressed, he hid it perfectly.

“75,000,” he tapped the table with his claws, “and I pay for the drinks.”

Ahsoka laughed. “Don’t break your arm giving us this massive handout!”

Shalashk snarled, revealing rows of Trandoshan teeth. “I don’t have to give you shit, girl. Best you remember that.”

“And I don’t have to give you shit either. See you later, scaly,” Ahsoka said, tossing the saber to Barriss.

Barriss looked at the saber in confusion. “Wait, we ne-”

Ahsoka practically shoved Barriss out of her seat. “Let’s go, Rija, we’ll find someone with manners,” she said loudly. “Don’t look back,” she whispered.

_Alright?_

Barriss nearly tripped as she rose from her seat. Ahsoka joined her swiftly, and the two strolled towards the exit with as much confidence as they could muster.

“Wait!” Shalashk finally cried, “84,000 and I’ll throw in some spice!”

The gathered patrons of the bar all turned their heads at the outburst. One in particular, a drunken Wookie, seemed amused until they realized it was a Trandoshan speaking.

“85,000,” Ahsoka countered, turning her gaze back to Shalashk, “and you keep your spice.”

“That’s awfully low,” Barriss said under her breath.

“It’s the best this jerk will give us, trust me,” Ahsoka replied as they walked back to the table.

“How do you even know how to-” Barriss started to say.

“You drive a hard bargain, kid,” Shalashk grumbled. “How you want the credits? Ingots or transfer?”

Ahsoka smiled with no small amount of smugness. “Ingots.”

Barriss tried her hardest not to laugh.

She failed.

Shalashk let out an almighty sigh. “Of course you fucking do. I swear to... Alright, fine. It’ll take me a few hours to get the credits ready.”

Barriss motioned with her hands to continue. “And?”

Shalashk pulled out a small piece of paper and scribbled on it with a pen. “Meet me there at this time,” he tapped his finger, “bring the saber and you’ll get your credits.”

Barriss frowned. “How can we trust you?”

“How can _I_ trust _you_?” Shalashk asked in turn. “Look, don’t show if you don’t want to, makes no difference to me.”

Ahsoka extended her hand. “Deal.”

Shalashk shook it. “Deal. Now get the hell away from me, girl.”

***

The walk back to the ship from Shalashk’s drop off point was long enough without having to carry a starship’s worth of metal.

_Such is life._

At first, when she had just lifted the box of ingots, Barriss had been confident.

_“It’s just some money,” she said stupidly, “it can’t be_ that _heavy.”_

_Ahsoka laughed. “Just wait.”_

Now, with the landing pad just over a hundred meters away, Barriss’ arms felt as though they were going to fall off her shoulders. Sweat was pouring down her brow, and her hands cramped under the strain.

Ahsoka, for her own part, appeared to be just as relaxed as when she had first picked them up. Her muscles gleamed in the midday sun.

_Good golly._

“You’ve gotten stronger since I last saw you,” Barriss said with an appreciative glance at Ahsoka’s arms. “Have you been working out?”

Ahsoka looked down at her arms as though she was seeing them for the first time. “Oh,” she said slowly, “I guess I have. Just the basics. Push-ups, lifting heavy things, putting them down. You know?”

Barriss adjusted her grip on the box, “Oh yeah. D-definitely!”

The ship, in all it’s rusted glory, was just a stone’s throw away.

_Thank the Force._

“Now that I’m looking at it, the ship’s really not that bad,” Ahsoka said.

“I see what you mean,” Barriss managed to say in between breaths, “blaster cannon seems functional enough, and I know the hyperdrive can handle anything I can throw at it.”

“A little bit of polish, a fresh coat of paint, tune up the engines, fix the water pressure in the shower,” Ahsoka continued, “and we might have something decent on our hands here.”

_We._

_Huh. Still sticking around._

The two wound their way through the shifting crowds and finally made it inside the old rust bucket.

Barriss dropped her box of ingots onto the floor unceremoniously, and the ringing echoed throughout the small room.

Barriss winced. “Sorry.”

Ahsoka placed her own on top of the other. “Don’t worry about it.”

Barriss rubbed at her arm nonchalantly.

Or at least, she hoped it looked nonchalant.

“Hey,” Barriss said as Ahsoka examined the haul of shiny metal ingots, “I wanted to talk to you.”

Ahsoka didn’t look up from the money. “About what?”

“About last night.”

A tinge of scarlet appeared on Ahsoka’s cheeks for reasons Barriss didn’t understand. “Alright.”

Barriss averted her gaze and continued to rub at her arm. “I just wanted to thank you for... you know.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ahsoka replied.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Barriss said.

“I know,” Ahsoka finally tore her eyes off the money, “just add that to the list of favors you owe me.”

“Yeah.”

The two sat in silence for a moment.

_Well. This is horribly awkward._

_Best think of something. Quick._

“I think we should name the ship,” Barriss blurted out just when the silence was becoming unbearable.

“So you want to keep this piece of junk?” Ahsoka asked with some amusement.

“85,000 is a lot of credits, but not a fortune.” Barriss waved her hand at the crates. “We’d be better off retrofitting this one for the time being than trying to get one better.”

“Always planning ahead.” Ahsoka laughed. “Did the ship’s registration list a name?”

“No, I checked that on the way to Mandalore. All it had was a long, _long_ , designation number. It was all fives and threes, dashes and hashtags, I thought that the Order would have come up with something different. What if there was an emergency? There was no way to remember the whole sequence, and no way to render it in shorthand! Anyone in trouble would have had to access the registration logs just to repeat it! I tried to memorize it and even I couldn’t do it! And I memorized the entire section of tunnels from that mission to Geonosis! I can recite the entirety of the first five chapters of Mirial’s holy book! It was just ludicrous!”

Somewhere, in some distant, quiet part of Barriss’ mind, she became aware of the fact that she was rambling on just a tad.

Barriss ignored it.

“Republic regulations should have forbade that for standard commercial craft, let alone an emergency ship for a maximum security Jedi detention center! I want to know just who thought it was a good idea to name the ship as though we were all droids. Scratch that, the Separatists named their ships in Basic, and the majority of them were crewed entirely by droids! Even General Grievous recognized the need for easy communication, so why couldn’t the Council do the same?”

Barriss paused at last, and took a deep breath.

_Alright, maybe a little overkill._

Ahsoka blinked. “I, uh, get the point, Barriss.”

_Of course you get the point._

_You_ always _get the point._

“Sorry.” Barriss could feel her skin chafe under her sleeve as she continued to rub. “You know how I get a little carried away sometimes.”

_Carried away enough to murder dozens of people._

_Carried away enough to throw you away._

“It’s fine.” Ahsoka stood, her injured leg wavering ever so slightly. “What did you have in mind?”

“Something uplifting. _Starshine._ ”

Ahsoka quirked a brow. “ _Starshine_? Isn’t that a little - I don’t know - cliche?”

“Cliche? How in the world is that cliche?”

“It sounds like the ship heroes ride around on in fantasy holonovels!” Ahsoka laughed. “ _Starshine_!”

“Well what would you pick?”

Ahsoka had an answer already primed, “The _Nova_.”

_You must be joking._

“Now you’re just picking on me.” Barriss let go of her arm at long last/ “We’re survivors, not some mercenary group that bathes once a week and drinks their weight in whiskey every night!”

“I’ll have you know I almost convinced Anakin to rename the _Twilight_ to _Nova_!” Ahsoka took a step forward and pointed at Barriss. “Twice!”

_Oh. Wow._

“Amazing.” Barriss’ tone was as dry as sand. “Congratulations. It’s a wonder you couldn’t have won the war singlehandedly with skills like that. You should have just asked Dooku to surrender.” Barriss assumed a ridiculous impersonation of Ahsoka. “Hey, Darth! Put down your lightsaber or I’ll gut you like a fish!”

Ahsoka’s mouth dropped. “H-how do you know about that?”

Barriss smirked. “Master Luminara told me while she was doing one of her debriefings. By the Force, you should have seen her face! That was the closest she had come to laughing in weeks!”

Ahsoka’s cheeks, already flushed, burned as red as a star. “She swore she wouldn’t tell anyone!” she cried, taking another step forward.

“Actually, she swore she wouldn’t tell the Council, which I was definitely not a part of.” Barriss threw her head back as she laughed. “Oh, that was _amazing_. I only wish that she had managed to get a hold of that security recording, that would have been beautiful!”

“You’re horrible,” Ahsoka said, taking another final step towards Barriss, “just awful!”

Barriss looked back at the other woman, and the laughter died in her throat.

Ahsoka’s eyes were so very blue. Her smile so very warm.

_If she were any closer, I’d be kissing her._

_Curious._

_What a strange thing to think._

Barriss’ smile disappeared. “I want to go for a walk.”

Ahsoka’s smile remained. “Sure, just let me grab my cloak.”

“I meant by myself,” Barriss snapped, turning away.

Barriss made it to the ramp before Ahsoka grabbed her by the shoulder, sending shivers down her spine.

“Hey, are you alright?” Ahsoka asked in a soft voice. “What’s the matter?”

_Everything._

“Nothing.” Barriss waited a moment. “Please let go of me.”

Ahsoka hesitated for a moment, but eventually let go.

Barriss made her way down the ramp. “I just want to be alone for a while.”

“Alright,” Ahsoka said with some uncertainty in her voice, “stay safe.”

Barriss didn’t respond.

Instead she kept walking in a straight line with her head held high, seemingly ignorant of anything save the durasteel beneath her feet.

_“Don’t form attachments,” Master Luminara had told her one night, just a few weeks before the start of the war, “they may seem peaceful and enjoyable at first, but even the wisest Jedi can be mislead by emotions.”_

_“Oh, Master,” Barriss had replied with the confidence only the extremely foolish can muster, “I can’t possibly imagine that being a problem.”_

Barriss looked up at Nal Hutta and stared at its surface.

“Why did you always have to be right?” she said to the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we end with Barriss realizing that she feels attracted towards Ahsoka, though she is still unsure why. Once again, thank you for reading!  
> Now for some notes:  
> 1) Barriss has been plagued by recurring nightmares of her actions at the Temple ever since that whole incident happened.  
> 2) While Ahsoka carried a great deal of anger and resentment towards Barriss for several months, these feelings never blossomed into full on hatred.  
> 3) Ahsoka is, of course, suffering just as badly as Barriss is dealing with the aftermath of Order 66, but she feels that she needs to remain strong in order to keep moving forward.  
> 4) The celebrations that the one-eyed Gran describe occur in the Legends continuity, which states that the people of Nar Shaddaa celebrated for an entire month once the Empire rose out of the belief that they would be left to their own devices.  
> 5) In case I wasn't good at clarifying this, Barriss' earlier statements in the first chapter that Anakin and Obi-Wan were probably still alive was made solely to cheer up Ahsoka. Barriss actually thinks their chances of survival are no greater than anybody else.  
> 6) I imagine that following the end of ROTS, a great deal of different official explanations arose regarding the deaths of those that opposed Palpatine. Of course, all of these were carefully constructed to leave out the possibility of Padme giving birth, otherwise Vader would put two and two together and realise that Palpatine lied to him.  
> 7) Shalashk Vorktu fills an archetype very near and dear to my heart: the world weary, overconfident criminal who thinks he's much more clever than he actually is. He'll show up again, soon.  
> 8) Ahsoka's alias, Ashla, is the same alias she uses in the Ahsoka novel. I like to think that Anakin made sure she was prepared for any situation that would require her to go into hiding.  
> 9) The "punk bitch in Mando' armor" is, of course, Boba Fett.  
> 10) 100,000 is simply a number I pulled out of nowhere. I imagine that lightsabers were very valuable, but not so expensive to be completely unobtainable to criminals and collectors.  
> 11) Barriss is definitely the sort of person that rambles when she gets nervous.  
> 12) "Gut you like a fish" is a reference to the simply cringe-worthy threat Ahsoka uses against Nute Gunray in season 1 of The Clone Wars.


	3. I've Got Heaven, I've Got Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I somehow manage to misspell Aurebesh as 'Arabesh', arguments are had, a lopsided battle is fought, old wounds are opened, and declarations are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone! Despite college and work tag teaming my private life into oblivion, I have managed to churn out another update!

_“There is no emotion, there is peace.”_

_\- The Jedi Code_

**Nar Shaddaa, 19 BBY**

Ahsoka decided that she didn’t like Nar Shaddaa one bit. Two standard days had passed since her arrival on the tumultuous little moon, yet the sun still hung in the air, all but unmoving, as though it was taunting Ahsoka with every lingering second. The people were rude as could be, even more so than on Coruscant. Almost everything was overpriced and poor quality.

And, worst of all, the food was _awful._

_Those bugs Anakin gathered on Felucia were better than this garbage!_

Unfortunately, local wildlife was one of the few things - along with basic decency - that Nar Shaddaa had in short supply.

But food didn’t matter right now. Ahsoka was on a mission.

“How’s it coming?” Barriss asked from below.

Ahsoka adjusted her grip on the side of the ship and wiped sweat from her brow. “Just fine. You sure you don’t want to do this?” Ahsoka shook the can of golden spray paint in her hand for emphasis.

“No. I don’t,” Barriss replied flatly.

_Fine. Be that way._

Something had changed in Barriss, as though she was distancing herself from Ahsoka for some reason. If Ahsoka wasn’t at the ship, Barriss would stay inside browsing the HoloNet or whatnot. If Ahsoka was hanging around, Barriss made sure that she was out and about on the city streets.

_You’re picking a fine time to get all snobbish again._

It stung a little, but Ahsoka wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of asking her why she was acting so off.

Ahsoka shook the can of paint viciously and resumed her task of painting a golden star. Right next to the half-finished star, emblazoned in swirling Aurebesh, was a single word: _Starshine._

_I can’t believe you talked me into this._

Actually, she could. Ahsoka had always been the more artistically inclined one out of the two - or at least that’s what Obi-Wan had said with a smirk as Master Windu ranted and raved about the dozens of unflattering doodles he had discovered in one of his debriefing journals - and Barriss, despite her fastidious nature, actually had _atrocious_ handwriting.

“The paint is going to run if you keep spraying it so thick,” Barriss noted with a click of her tongue. “It will look sloppy.”

_Oh, for the love of-_

“No!” Ahsoka screamed. “People might think we’re...” She gulped, “ _poor._ ”

As though in response, a tiny square of rusted durasteel plating slipped off the ship and bounced on the ground.

Barriss sighed. “We’re _not_ poor, and we _still_ have our dignity. So, if you wouldn’t mind, please try not to ruin that.”

Ahsoka wondered if Barriss could catch the paint if it was thrown at her head.

Ahsoka pressed on. “It’s called artistic flair.”

“You’re not an artist.”

“I never listen to the critics, Barriss, all they do is drag you down.”

“Watch what you’re-”

“True art is supposed to be a reflection of the artist’s soul! It’s supposed to show you what I’m feeling without all the wasted effort of _words._ ”

Barriss sighed. “You must have a particularly messy soul, then.”

Ahsoka leaned back and examined the painting with a critical eye. It _was_ a mess. The main body was lopsided and uneven. The beams of sunlight radiating outwards dripped and smeared as excess paint ran down the side of the ship.

_Perfect._

“What does this tell you, Barriss?” Ahsoka asked. “What do you think I’m _feeling_ right now?”

Barriss studied the star for a moment. “You’re feeling exceptionally exasperated.”

“Very good. Continue,” Ahsoka said as she dropped down from the side of the ship.

She fell eleven feet to the landing pad, and her wounded leg gave out on impact, leaving her sprawled face first.

_I’m an idiot._

“I’m going to say that you’re feeling a good amount of pain.” Barriss winced and knelt to the ground with an outstretched hand.

Ahsoka took it with a groan. “I was wrong, you understand art _perfectly._ "

Barriss pulled Ahsoka up and brushed off her shoulder. “You need to be more careful with that leg,” she said with a tsk.

“Thanks, mom,” Ahsoka snapped. “I can handle myself just fine.”

Barriss cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Ahsoka’s leg. “Yeah, sure you can.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Ahsoka shouted as Barriss walked away. “I’m still alive!”

_Thanks to you._

“My mistake. This whole time I thought I was arguing with a Force Ghost.”

Ahsoka smirked a little despite her anger. It was nice to hear Barriss being snippy again, even if it was aimed at her. It was like old times.

“Maybe I am a spirit,” Ahsoka held up her hands and waggled her fingers enigmatically, “maybe I’m here to haunt you ‘til the end of time.”

“Like I would ever be that lucky,” Barriss replied.

Ahsoka increased the speed of her fingers. “You can run all you want, Barriss, but you’ll never escape the Force!”

Barriss stared at Ahsoka with a vacant gaze.

“Oooooohhhhhhhhhh-” Ahsoka pulled her cloak over the top of her head and flapped the ends about, “-Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Barriss bit her lip and the corners of her mouth struggled to not curve upwards. “I hate you.”

Ahsoka laughed. “You have strange ways of showing it!”

***

Shalashk Vorktu was having a long, _long_ , fucking day.

First, the Togruta and Mirialan had managed to talk him into actually paying for that lightsaber.

In _cash_.

Second, they had the unbelievable _audacity_ to stick him with the bar tab.

_There really is no justice in this galaxy._

Third, the goddamn Kaleesh had just punched him in the face.

“Where did you get it?” the aforementioned being asked as if he was inviting Shalashk over for a cup of tea.

Shalashk spat out a glob of blood and stared into a pair of golden eyes. “I told you, I don’t fuckin’ know who they are.”

The Kaleesh let out a long, throaty sigh before dropping Shalashk to the ground.

A Twi’lek standing in the far corner of the room smirked.

“How long have you known me, Shalashk?” the Kaleesh asked before collapsing into his seat at a small desk, his fingers tapping rhythmically on the handle of the lightsaber Shalashk had handed over to him minutes before.

Shalashk - still sitting on the floor - rubbed his face and winced. “Long enough to know I shouldn’t screw you over on this, Xythil.”

Xythil took his eyes off the saber and glanced about at the array of weapons and antiques lining the walls of his office.

“You aren’t screwing me?” he asked after what felt like an eternity.

“Damn right. It’s just as I told you. A Togruta and a Mirialan. Grinqo sent them my way.”

_Shouldn’t have said that._

“Grinqo sends almost every damn waif he meets your way!” Xythil’s fingers tapped the lightsaber fast enough that his nails made a horrible clacking sound.

“Yeah, he’s an old man.” Shalashk rose to his feet. “But it paid off, didn’t it?”

_Of course it did._

Xythil closed his eyes tightly. “You. You are an idiot.”

Shalashk wondered if Xythil could block a blaster bolt.

Probably not.

Probably.

“So you keep sayin’. Why are you so damn jumpy over this? Empire hasn’t even been around for a week and you’re running scared?”

The Twi’lek drew his blaster.

_Ah, shit._

Xythil, surprisingly, waved his hand dismissively. “I’m not _scared_ , you fool. I’m... anxious. How do we know that those two weren’t Jedi?”

_Of course they were fuckin’ Jedi._

_But you’re a real bastard._

“Xythil, I know you hate it when I’m the voice of reason here, but why would two Jedi run to fuckin’ Nar Shaddaa at the first sign of trouble _and_ immediately pawn off one of their most prized possessions?”

Xythil snorted. “Oh, _sorry_. What would you do if you were a Jedi?”

“I wouldn’t have cocked up the hit on the Chancellor, for starters.” Shalashk shrugged. “Don’t see why they didn’t just shoot ‘im.”

Xythil blinked.

_Not exactly an answer._

Shalashk thought for a moment. “I’d have gone to the Unknown Regions away from all this shit. Find some nice tropical planet and convince the locals I was a god with all my magic Force powers. Boom. Retirement.”

_Not half bad, actually._

Xythil reclined in his seat. “You have a point. But that still doesn’t tell me where they got the saber from.”

Shalashk crossed his arms. “Why d’you care? You’re the only one who’s gonna be lookin’ at it.”

“Exactly. I need to know if I’m getting the real deal.”

_Now who’s the idiot?_

“Oh, sorry.” Shalashk clasped his hands together in false deference. “I gave you the fake lightsaber that I always keep on me by accident. That one’s just a fancy lethal flashlight.”

The Twi’lek chuckled.

Xythil narrowed his eyes. “Get the fuck out, Asdro.”

The Twi’lek opened his mouth to protest, but after a moment of hesitation he walked away.

“Why do you always treat me like I’m a fucking idiot?” Xythil adjusted his mask.

_You just punched me in the face._

“Hell, I know you aren’t an idiot. You just get awfully temperamental sometimes, y’know?”

Xythil nodded and started to roll the saber around on his desk. “These girls, they give you their names?”

_Here we go._

“Yeah. Uh, the Togruta said she was... Ashla. The Mirialan said she was Rija. Both had the same last name.”

Xythil sat forward. “You think those are their real names?”

“Fuck no. It doesn’t take a fuckin’ genius to smell a lie that bad. They were obviously traveling in-cog-neato.”

Xythil studied Shalashk for a long moment, and, with a certain air of finality, grasped the lightsaber. “Do you know where they are?”

_Oh, here we go again. The ol’ song and dance._

“They said somethin’ ‘bout a ship on pad 34-8a if I needed to find them. Probably still there, if they haven’t left yet.”

Xythil rubbed his finger on the saber’s ignition switch. “I’d like to talk to them.”

_Of course ya do._

“Shit, I ain’t gonna stop ya. You know this place just as well as I do.”

“I want you to come with me.”

Shalashk knew this moment had been coming. “Why?”

“I’ve lost a lot of men lately, and I trust you more than the handful of jackasses I got to replace them.”

Shalashk licked his lips. “I don’t know why you’d need me to talk to-”

Xythil slammed his fist against the table, rattling a small glass in the process. “I don’t want to just _talk_ to them, you fucking lizard!”

_You’re a fucking lizard too, pal._

“Then what the hell do you want to do?”

“They obviously know _something_ about the Jedi. Something that the Empire would definitely pay for, especially if they actually are Jedi!”

_Damn it._

Shalashk crossed his arms. “And what if they aren’t Jedi? What if they were telling the truth?”

Xythil shrugged, evidently finding the answer obvious. “The Hutts can always use more slaves, especially a few exotic females like them.”

Shalashk thought about the overgrown slugs sitting at their grand slave auctions and betting on flesh and blood like it was a podrace.

He didn’t like it one bit.

“Fuck, man, they’re just fuckin’ _kids_. They’re teenagers! They should probably still be in school!”

Xythil snickered. “A Trandoshan with a conscience, how original. Tell you what, you come along, and I’ll throw in a fifteen percent bonus on your fee.”

_No._

“Nah, I’m out.” Shalashk shook his head and stepped backwards. “Good luck, though.”

Xythil activated the lightsaber’s upper blade, and a length of yellow plasma shot into the air.

For several moments, the only sound in the room was the gentle hum of the lightsaber.

Xythil didn’t take his eyes off the blade. “If you don’t come, I’ll tell the Bounty Guild about that incident on Tatooine.”

Shalashk pointed at Xythil. “You’ve got no fucking right to talk about that.”

“You had no fucking right to kill those men.”

Silence once more, save for the saber.

Shalashk sighed. “I’ll go.”

Shalashk could nearly see Xythil smile under his mask.

“Good.”

***

“I thought you wanted to avoid the Core?” Barriss couldn’t hide the incredulity in her voice. “You can’t get much closer than Corellia.”

Ahsoka poked her head out of the engine room hatch. “I take it you don’t like the plan?”

_I didn’t save you just so you could get yourself killed by the Empire._

“No, I don’t! It’s stupid, risky, foolish, idiotic-”

“Don’t forget impulsive.”

“And impulsive!”

Ahsoka’s eyes lit up. “Oh! We almost left out audacious!”

_Gods help me._

Barriss pinched the bridge of her nose. She could feel the headache coming any minute now.

“I should have kept that thesaurus Obi-Wan got me.” Ahsoka ducked back into the hatch, giving her voice an eerie, echoic quality. “I can’t think of any more!”

“I’m glad that you find this hilarious. We’re talking about something very, _very_ dangerous.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Ahsoka punctuated her statement with the electrical whine of power tools. “Corellia is close enough to Coruscant that we can get a feel for what’s really going on.”

Barriss sat down next to the hatch and peered into the darkness. “If only there was an intergalactic medium of communication that we could access at any moment in order to get the latest in news reports. Someone should start inventing that, they’d make a fortune.”

Ahsoka dropped a tool on her foot and started to swear in a manner almost as lengthy as it was creative.

_Ah, just like old times._

“What would you like to do? Nothing?” Ahsoka asked after a string of curses.

“No, not _nothing_. Let’s face it, we’re way over our head here. We barely have any supplies, we have three weapons total, our ship is a glorified scrap pile, _and_ you’re still badly wounded.”

Ahsoka laughed, but there was barely any humor in it. “And your point is?”

“We can’t go gallivanting around fighting the Empire!”

“Woah, woah! I _never_ gallivant! Anakin was the one who gallivanted!”

_If only every Jedi was as good at deflecting blasters as you are at deflecting statements._

Barriss stood and nearly banged her head on the open hatch, “It’s my ship.”

Ahsoka poked her head out again. Her face was covered in grease and a rather disappointed look/ “Of all the arguments you could have gone with, you chose the most boring one. But you’re right. We should wait before doing something as risky as that.”

_I still got it._

Barriss smiled. “Good. I’m going to check the thrusters.”

Ahsoka waved her hand and disappeared into the hatch.

Barriss opened the ship ramp and stepped down to the landing pad, only to be greeted by a rather unpleasant sight.

Shalashk was strolling towards the ship without a care in the world. He was flanked by two beings: a yellow-skinned Twi’lek that seemed bored out of his mind, and a Kaleesh dressed in what could charitably be described as anachronistic armor.

_What the-_

“Hello there, young one!” Shalashk exclaimed in a far friendlier voice than the one he had used just a day before. “How do you do on this fine, never-ending Nar Shaddaa day?”

_What did I do to deserve this?_

_Besides the obvious._

“Alright. What do you want, Mr. Vorktu?”

The Twi’lek smiled. “She’s polite.”

Shalashk gestured to the Kaleesh. “This fine gentleman is the one who purchased your lightsaber.”

Barriss crossed her arms. “Is there a problem? I’m afraid we’ve already spent some of the credits if you were hoping for a refund.”

Shalashk waved his hands. “No, no! Nothing of the sort! This gentleman wanted to know if-”

The Kaleesh shoved Shalashk out of the way and stepped forward. “I can talk, you idiot. My name is Xythil. I’m a collector of rare items.”

_Subtle as a sledgehammer._

Xythil continued. “I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Are you a Jedi?”

_Fuck._

Barriss shrugged. “Whatever makes you think that?”

Shalashk took a step backwards, but remained silent.

“Lightsabers don’t grow on trees, girl.” Xythil said it as though it was sage advice.

“Ashla!” Barriss called. “Would you come out for a moment?”

Ahsoka appeared at the entrance, still streaked with hydraulic fluid and oil. A pair of goggles shielded her eyes.

“What’s all this?” Ahsoka wiped at her brow.

“Could you tell the, uh, _lovely gentlemen_ here that we’re not Jedi?”

Ahsoka laughed heartily. “Oh we’re Jedi alright!”

All the color drained from Barriss’ face.

“Huh, that was easy.” The Twi'lek drew his blaster, but left it hanging at his side.

Ahsoka extended her arms. “Just lock us up, guys! I can’t handle the pressure of constantly being on the run, never knowing when the long arm of the law is going to strike me down!” She slipped the goggles off her face. “Oh, Rija, I’m sorry I’m not as strong as you! It looks like the jig is up, and I’ll have to pay for my sins!”

Xythil huffed, “You could have just said ‘no’.”

Barriss felt her heart start beating again.

_For the love of-_

“See, you have the wrong pair, fellas!” Ahsoka walked to Barriss’ side and draped an arm over the latter’s shoulder. “We’re just your average, run-of-the-mill spacers that got a lucky break.”

_That’s not_ that _far from the truth._

Shalashk whistled. “I told you this would be a waste of time.”

Xythil turned his gaze to him. “No you didn’t. That’s the first time you’ve said that.”

Ahsoka leaned in close to Barriss as the three criminals bickered amongst themselves.

“Reach into the bag on my belt and take the shoto,” she whispered with a smile still plastered on her face.

Barriss nodded. “Gladly.”

Barriss leaned into Ahsoka as though she was reciprocating the gesture, and she fished about in the cloth bag. There was a slight moment of hesitation - the two hilts were somewhat similar - but she soon withdrew the weapon and held it behind her back.

“How long do you think it will be until they try something?” Ahsoka inquired.

“I give it another minute or two.” Barriss rubbed her finger along the shoto’s switch. “No less than fifty seconds.”

Ahsoka nodded, “You take the one of the left, I’ll get the Kaleesh.”

“Shalashk won’t be a problem.”

“Nope.”

“Can you two just shut the hell up for two seconds!?” Xythil shouted with a flail of his arms.

_I wonder if he’s related to Grievous. That temper might be hereditary._

_That’s a little racist, Barriss. I doubt all Kaleesh know each other._

Xythil extended a clawed hand to the two. “Where did you get the lightsaber?”

“You have a one track mind, you know that?” Ahsoka snapped. “Life’s more than just weapons and plasma. I know a therapist on Coruscant you can see - he’ll probably do holo sessions if you want.”

Xythil placed his hand on the blaster at his side. “Here’s what’s going to happen: I’m going to take you to the Hutts. On the way, you’re going to tell me where you got the lightsaber - willingly or not, I don’t really care. After that, I’m going to sell you to the highest bidder and tell the Empire where you are. Then it’s up to them if you’re worth the effort or not.”

Shalashk grimaced. “Not this shit again. They’re _kids_.”

Xythil said a single word. “Tatooine.”

“Damn you.” Shalashk sighed.

All three drew their blasters simultaneously.

“Now, just come along quietly,” Xythil hissed.

_How many cliches are you trying to hit?_

Barriss and Ahsoka activated their lightsabers with a flourish, and both assumed defensive stances.

_It feels good to hold one of these again._

“Oh,” the Twi’lek blurted.

Shalashk threw his blaster over his shoulder and dove to the ground.

The Twi’lek fired first with a shot aimed at Barriss’ head.

_This is too easy._

It _was_ too easy. Thousands of hours of practice manifested themselves, and Barriss sent the blaster bolt flying back at the Twi’lek with only a slight movement of her wrist.

The bolt hit the Twi’lek in the center of the face, and he fell backwards with nothing but the smell of burning flesh to signal that he had been struck at all.

Xythil was a little quicker on the draw, and he managed to get off two shots in short order.

Ahsoka followed suit and deflected the blasts with a wave of her lightsaber.

The first caught Xythil in the shoulder - causing his blaster to fly out of his hand, and the second slammed into the center of his chest. The slaver fell to his knees with a cry of pain and anger.

Shalashk looked up from his place on the ground. “Please, don’t hurt me, o mighty ones!”

_Spineless._

_Smart._

Barriss looked at Ahsoka. The two gazed at each other for a moment, and nodded in unison.

“Get out of here,” Ahsoka said. Her lightsaber deactivated with a whoosh.

Shalashk clambered to his feet and sprinted away without so much as a glance behind him.

In front of them, a few members of Nar Shaddaa’s endless crowds glanced their way, but business carried on as usual.

_They act like this happens everyday._

Xythil moaned. “Oh, damn it all.”

Ahsoka strolled over to him and studied his wound.

“You’re dying.” She hooked her lightsaber back onto her belt. “I’m sorry, for what it’s worth.”

Xythil tore his mask off with a great deal of effort, revealing a scarred face twisted with pain. “Go to hell.”

Xythil drew one last rattling breath and fell forward, dead.

Barriss turned off the shoto.

“That went better than I thought it would.” Ahsoka collected one of the discarded blasters and examined it. “I thought we would be knee deep in bounty hunters by now.”

Ahsoka’s voice was distant, like she was speaking at the end of a tunnel. “Barriss?”

Barriss was aware of nothing except the smell of burning flesh and the sight of the blackened skin that made up the Twi’lek’s face.

_He didn’t even get a chance to scream._

“Barriss?” Ahsoka’s voice was barely audible.

Barriss doubled over and threw up.

***

**In orbit of Nar Shaddaa**

Ahsoka supposed that she probably should have contacted somebody to deal with the bodies. The local police would have done, though she had the awful suspicion that they would have just rolled the bodies over the side of the landing pad.

Did she feel bad for killing them?

_They tried to shoot us, so no, not really._

Did that make it any better?

_Again, no._

Ahsoka had never enjoyed the violence that came with the Clone Wars. Slicing up droids was one thing. Killing living, breathing, beings - even ones as violent and reprehensible as the two thugs - was another.

_It was just so pointless._

Did the idiots actually think they had a chance? Two criminals with blasters against two Jedi with lightsabers just didn’t add up.

It didn’t matter what they thought, in the end. Dead was dead.

Ahsoka sipped from her canteen. The water tasted metallic and bitter, but it was better than nothing.

“You should eat something,” she said to Barriss in between sips.

Barriss didn’t look up from the floor. “I’m not hungry.”

Ahsoka drained the rest of the canteen and placed it on the floor. “You haven’t eaten since long before those guys showed up. You need to keep your strength up.”

Barriss shifted in her seat. “I’m _not_ hungry.”

“Barriss, you have to be starving. C’mon, I bought some Alderaanian bread.” Ahsoka rummaged around in her bag and withdrew a small loaf of brown bread.

_It might actually be from Alderaan, too._

Barriss shook her head. “I don’t think I could keep it down.”

_I think I could guess why._

“I know you didn’t want to kill them.” Ahsoka stretched out her wounded leg. “I’m sorry they made us.”

“They didn’t make us do anything.”

“They threatened to shoot us and sell us to slavers!”

“They still didn’t make us kill them! There’s always a choice!” Barriss rose to her feet. “We could have disarmed them!”

Ahsoka rose to her feet as well. “And then what? Politely ask them to leave us alone and not tell the Empire?”

“We could have done _something_! Damn it, we could have just run away!” Barriss’ voice filled with the fires of long-buried passion.

_You sound like the old days, when we’d have those political arguments in the archives._

“Run away under a hail of blasters with a pack of criminals after us? Oh yeah, that would have turned out just fine!”

Barriss looked downright indignant. “We’ve faced worse odds before!”

_True._

“Why are you so hung up on this?” Ahsoka waved her arms. “I don’t get it. We’ve both seen people die before, and we’ve both killed. This isn’t anything new!”

“I’m tired of killing!” Barriss’ voice cracked. “I’m sick of it! The last three years have been filled with so much death and pain, and we went around spreading it while saying we’re champions of the peace and defenders of the weak!”

“That’s what Jedi _do_. Of course the Order made mistakes, but they at least tried to help others when they could!”

Barriss shook her head in disbelief. “Killing is not supposed to be the Jedi way!”

Ahsoka felt the anger rise up inside her. “We’re _not_ Jedi! It was self defense!”

Barriss frowned. “Who says that my life is worth more than theirs?”

_For the love of-_

“I do!” Ahsoka screamed.

The statement hung in the air for a few moments.

Barriss blinked. “What?”

Ahsoka pointed at Barriss. “You are worth more than all the two-bit slaving cowards in the entire galaxy put together! I’d do it all again if it kept you safe!”

Barriss stared at her open-mouthed.

_She’s kinda cute when she’s flustered._

“You... you would, wouldn’t you?” Barriss sighed. “I didn’t mean to get angry at you.”

_Did you?_

“Just eat the damn bread.” Ahsoka ripped off a hunk of bread and pressed it into Barriss’ palm.

“Thanks.” Barriss took a careful bite.

_Of course._

Ahsoka wandered over to the navigation console and browsed through the thousands of destinations.

“Where to now?” Ahsoka looked back at Barriss.

“Anywhere but here, please.”

Ahsoka glanced at the readout. “You’re going to have to be a little more specific.”

“Why? We have precious little but time on our hands.” Barriss wiped crumbs of bread from her mouth. “Just relax for a moment.”

_Relax?_

_How can I_ possibly _relax!?_

Everything she knew was gone. Everyone she cared about was dead.

_Well, not everyone._

“Please,” Barriss said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Ahsoka glanced at the console, then again at Barriss.

“Okay.” She shut the computer down and walked back to the common area.

Barriss looked like a great weight had been lifted off of shoulders. “Good.”

The two sat down and lapsed into a strangely comfortable silence, their troubles forgotten for just a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks for reading! Anyway, the next full update is going to take some time, and probably won't be finished until the beginning of July.  
> Now, some notes:  
> 1) The title of this chapter is a lyric from "The Temple" from the 1996 Cast Recording of Jesus Christ Superstar, my favorite performance of one of my favorite musicals.  
> 2) The new lore can say all it wants that Force Ghosts are a mystical secret lost to time that have all but been forgotten by the Jedi. I don't care. Death of the Author, baby.  
> 3) Spirit fingers/jazz hands, that is all.  
> 4) I really like the concept of the Kaleesh as a society and a culture. It seems at odds with the otherwise mostly futuristic setting of Star Wars, as though they were plucked out of time.  
> 5) Nar Shaddaa really seems like the kind of hell hole where practically anything could happen without fazing the locals. It's kind of like a sci-fi downtown Detroit/New York.


	4. Thy Will Be Done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little update serves as a small interlude, and sets up the small timeskip that happens in the next chapter. There will probably be one of these every 3-5 chapters, depending on how the story is flowing. Hope you enjoy, and I'll always appreciate feedback.

**Coruscant, 19 BBY**

It hurt.

It hurt to walk, to lift his arms.

It hurt to breath.

It hurt to talk, to give a voice to his pain.

But all of that was a mere ache compared to the burning, bleeding, neverending pain in his heart.

One month.

One month had passed since his love died by his own hand in a fit of rage. One month since his blade had been stained with the blood of children and former comrades. One month since his greatest friend left him for dead.

One month.

Might as well be ninety years.

It hurt to even think the names of those he lost. Padmé, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka.

Dead because they followed a path that he could not bear to walk.

But still he forced himself to think the names, to say them outloud when he sat awaiting further medical tests and treatments.

_“Padmé,” he whispered it under his breath, as though he were praying at some sacred altar._

_“Obi-Wan,” he spit it like a curse, as though he could reach across the endless gulf of space and choke the life out of the man he once called brother._

_“Ahsoka,” he said the name too quickly the first time, as though it were an afterthought. It’s not. She’s not. She deserved better._

When the report arrived for him - the report confirming that Ahsoka Tano perished in the snowdrifts of Mandalore, taking Commander CT-7567 with her in the process - he didn’t know how to react. He knew just hours after Order 66 that Ahsoka would share the fate of all the Jedi.

But seeing it in precise military script was different. It made it real.

It shouldn’t have stung as much as it did. He had already lost _everything_. His love, his body, his spirit, his friend. It should have just been one more burden on top of a mountain of pain.

But it still hurt.

“Is this report accurate?” his voice boomed from the damned mask in an unfamiliar baritone.

The officer in front of him bowed so deeply that he nearly touched his toes. “Yes, my lord. Verified by several army intelligence sources just hours after the Purge.”

He looked at the datapad again, and struggled to find the words. “Wolves?”

The officer didn’t meet his gaze, “Yes, my lord. Many men were killed by wolves during the manhunt, including, as the evidence shows, the Jedi and the commander.”

_She deserved better. He deserved better._

_I failed them both._

“Very well.” He waved his hand dismissively, and fought to keep his voice steady. “Leave me.”

The officer stood straight and snapped into a rigid salute. “Yes, my lord.”

He stared at the words on the datapad, “Ahsoka Tano: Confirmed KIA during Purge on Mandalore, remains believed to be consumed by local wildlife. Commander CT-7567: Confirmed KIA pursuing Jedi target on Mandalore. Remains found along several dead soldiers, all killed by local wildlife.”

_I am a disgrace._

A voice broke him out of his reverie, the officer’s. “My lord, may I ask why you have such a personal interest in this file?”

“No, you may not.” His tone was icy. “ _Leave._ ”

The officer saluted again/ “It’s just strange, is all. There are many higher priority targets that are confirmed to still live. I don’t see why I had to divert resources to investigate the death of a simple youngli-”

The officer’s sentence trailed off as he struggled for breath and pulled at his collar, ignorant of the pinched hand that was crushing his throat.

He watched the officer struggle, wide eyed and desperately gasping, before he clenched his fist and snapped his neck.

The officer fell to the ground limply, and his boots made an unpleasant noise as they slid against the tiles.

_An annoyance to the end._

He turned off the datapad and stared out the window at the massive banners being erected on countless government buildings. They were gaudy and banal, and no doubt did nothing but increase the danger a fire would pose.

_He used to like watching the sunrise of Coruscant. It was so peaceful, rolling clouds and glimmering rays. The war seemed so far away with her head on his shoulder._

Now, though, it was a bitter reminder of times long gone.

“My lord,” the communicator at his belt crackled, “the Jedi you wished to question has been moved to the interrogation room you specified. The Emperor is also on his way to speak to you.”

“Very well. Prepare the serums.” He cut the connection before the response could come.

The aforementioned prisoner was a Padawan of some small renown that had been rumored to have been in contact with Kenobi before his own capture at the hands of the Empire.

_The Jedi will talk, then he will die._

His fingers found the hilt of his new lightsaber, and he thought about how _good_ it would feel to drive it into Obi-Wan’s heart, to burn the life out him, to give him just a fraction of the pain that consumed his every waking moment.

It would _not_ hurt.

It would be justice well delivered.

He turned away from the window and marched into the bowels of the building. Lists of possible questions ran through his mind.

Anakin Skywalker would have been disgusted in him.

Anakin Skywalker was dead, though.

He was Darth Vader, now.

And it hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Notes:  
> 1) I tried the best I could to imply that Rex faked his death in a way similar to the method he used in the Ahsoka novel: swapping armor with a dead clone trooper.  
> 2) The Padawan Vader is going to interrogate is Dama Montalvo, whose death is one of the first scenes in the Legends comic storyline "Purge".


	5. Winner Takes All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which gamblers are hustled, justice is dispensed, and mistakes are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Through some good luck and fortuitous time management, I was able to get this update ready days earlier than I expected.

_“It’s a cold, hard galaxy we live in.”_

_\- Zuckuss_

**Malastare, 19 BBY**

Ah, gambling.

The thrill of the chase, the rush of victory, the reality check of losing. It was no small wonder people loved it. It made fortunes, it crushed dreams. It was romantic, in a horribly stupid, self destructive manner that was, one way or another, responsible for more deaths in the galaxy than some minor wars.

This particular little den was much like all the others that littered the galaxy. Sabacc tables sat in the corners with stacks of credits decks of cards. Holochess consoles flickered with the power fluctuations that hit roughly every five minutes. Hookahs and death sticks filled the air with bittersweet clouds of smoke. Beings of all kinds glared at each other with the particular brand of paranoia and righteous fury that could only exist in a place such as this one.

In the center of the den was a small table used for dice games, around which an unusually large amount of beings crowded around. Someone was _winning_ for once, and that was simply unheard of.

The trick about dice is that there is _no_ trick about dice. Under ideal, not to mention legal, circumstances, dice were random and unpredictable. No skill was involved in dice, just pure dumb luck. Of course, that didn’t stop some from trying to cheat with weights and other tricks that could influence the outcome.

Thankfully, this fine establishment came with careful sensors that detected even the slightest anomaly in all dice used at the table.

Unfortunately, those same sensors were useless against the Force.

“Hot damn, the kid’s on fire!” A Weequay sloshed his ale around with a wave of his arms.

Ahsoka smiled cheerfully as a handful of credit ingots were slid her way. “Fate must be on my side! Another go?”

The Bothan sitting opposite of her pounded his fist on the table. “I can’t believe it. I’ve never lost this bad before in my life!”

“Oh, I doubt that.” Ahsoka took her dice into her hand and rattled them about. “Come on, I’ll even let you have the first roll!”

The Bothan shook his head and rose from his seat. “You cleaned me out. My wife is gonna kill me.”

A Rodian with a mangled antennae snorted. “That’s if the Imps don’t get you first, you nerf herder.”

_Just another day in paradise._

Ahsoka laughed and glanced at the various beings. “Come on, who wants to play?”

A Dug with grey eyes raised a hand. “I’ll give it a shot.”

A few members of the crowd gave noises of approval as the Dug took his seat and placed a pile of credits on the table.

“So what you want? Liar’s? Sabacc-lite?” Ahsoka asked, leaning back into her seat. “How about-”

The Dug took up a pair of dice and huffed, “Duel. Highest number wins.”

_My pleasure._

Ahsoka nodded. “By all means. You get the first go.”

The Dug rattled the dice around for a long moment before tossing them onto the table.

Two fives.

“Ten,” the Dug said appreciatively. “Your turn.”

_Easy as-_

“Wait,” the Dug said, stroking his chin, “keep both hands above the table.”

_Ah, Sithspit._

“Can I ask why?” Ahsoka leaned forward.

The Dug narrowed his eyes. “You know why.”

Ahsoka held up her hands in appeasement. “Hey, whatever makes you feel better, friend.”

“I ain’t your friend, girl,” the Dug said. “Roll.”

_Here we go._

Ahsoka placed her left hand flat on the table and rolled the dice about in her right.

“You this rude with everyone you play?” Ahsoka asked.

“Yes. Roll.” The Dug tapped his fingers on the table restlessly.

“Alright, jerk.”

Ahsoka tossed the dice high into the air, and the crowd grew silent as they spun and spun on the table, before finally coming to a rest.

Two sixes.

The Weequay was beyond pleased. “Ha ha! She’s unstoppable!” He nudged the maimed Rodian in the gut. “You owe me five credits!”

The Dug glared at Ahsoka and sighed.

Ahsoka beamed at him in return as she scooped her earnings up and threw them in a bag. “Well, that was fun!”

The Weequay looked like his entire family had just been murdered. “Y-you’re leaving? Already?”

Ahsoka nodded. “Afraid so, pal. Catch you later.”

She made it a grand total of eight feet before Barriss strolled up beside her, drink in hand.

“You were fantastic!” Ahsoka exclaimed. “They didn’t suspect a thing!”

Barriss nodded. “You were right. They were so focused on you that they didn’t even notice me waving my hand in the back.”

_Why are people always surprised when I’m right?_

Ahsoka took the glass from Barriss’ hand and took a large gulp. It tasted faintly of fruit.

“Who would ever suspect a former Jedi to spend their time hustling gamblers?” she asked.

Barriss yanked the drink out of Ahsoka’s hands, “I paid for that.”

“Congratulations. See, I told you that money can be exchanged for goods and services, but you didn’t believe me about that one either.”

Barriss rolled her eyes and glanced at the credits. “How much did we make?”

“895. Give or take a few.”

“Good. But that still isn’t enough.”

Ahsoka raised a brow. “We still have 74,000 after replacing the shield generator, what more could we need?”

Barriss finished her drink. “Now that we’re on the run, we can never have too much. It pays to be pre-”

“Blast!” a patron yelled. “Turn it up!”

Ahsoka and Barriss turned their gaze to a nearby HoloNet projector that a Human was fiddling with.

The figure depicted was tall, at least a head taller than the troopers he stood in front of. Black armor covered his entire body, and he wore a sharp, angular mask that obscured his head. In his hand was a crimson lightsaber that seemed completely at odds with the otherwise colorless image.

_The Emperor’s boogeyman._

“Reports coming in from the Imperial intelligence services indicate that Lord Vader heroically embarked on a mission to an abandoned mine on Kessel,” a feminine voice said. “This mission resulted in the deaths of no less than fifty Jedi traitors that had survived the Purge. Their disgusting conspiracy to overthrow the Empire was destroyed with them. Stay loyal, stay vigilant.”

_That can’t possibly be true._

The Human standing at the projector whistled. “Well I’ll be damned! Looks like our tax credits are finally getting put to use!”

_You idiot. You absolute idiot._

_You don’t even know what this means._

_You don’t even know who they were._

Barriss nudged Ahsoka. “You're using the Force.”

Ahsoka looked down, and realized that her hands were balled into tight fists. A glass sitting on a nearby table was shaking rapidly, much to the bemusement of the man staring down at it.

“Huh. Don’t see that everyday,” he slurred.

A crack split down the side of the cup with a splintering sound, sending a few drops of alcohol flying.

The man laughed and promptly slumped face first onto the table.

_If only everybody had a reaction like that._

Ahsoka took a deep breath and pushed the worry from her mind.

_Inhale, count to fifteen. Exhale, count to fifteen. Repeat. Just like Obi-Wan said._

“Sorry.” Ahsoka wringed her hands and threw the bag of credits over her shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Indeed.” Barriss shook her head sadly and kept walking towards the door.

Ahsoka followed suite, and the two stepped out into Malastare’s starlit night.

Across the street from them, a Human clad in the uniform of an Imperial officer was shouting at a Dug loudly enough for Ahsoka to make out every word.

“Do you even _understand_ Basic?” He pointed at the Dug. “It would do you well to remember who’s in charge now.”

The Dug scoffed. “You think I’m scared of you? You’re nothing but an errand boy for a wrinkled old man that’s only fit to-”

The officer punched the Dug in the face. Ahsoka winced at the sound of it.

_That’s at least a broken jaw._

The Dug fell to the ground and groaned.

“Be thankful I didn’t kill you, degenerate,” he said to the Dug. Then, once he saw the gathering of people gawking, he shouted, “Disperse!”

_Somebody needs to do something about this._

She could take out the officer in an instant without even touching one of her lightsabers.

_Choke him out with the Force. Flying kick to the head. Arm lock followed by a blow to the chest._

_Easy._

But then what? Rifle his pockets? Steal his clothes? Oh, such a crushing defeat for the Empire! Palpatine wouldn’t even begin to know what to do!

Better to lower her gaze to the ground. Raise her hood. Pretend she didn’t see anything.

“You’re being awfully quiet today,” Barriss remarked as the two wound their way through the streets. “Even your dice routine was more subdued than what you had planned.”

“I’m just tired,” she replied. “I’m tired of all this.”

Barriss nodded. “You and me both.”

The two walked into a large open air hangar housing a few scattered trading vessels.

At the entrance to the hangar, standing with blasters in their hands, were five stormtroopers. Their fancy new armor was polished to a mirror sheen, and their rifles looked like they were fresh from the factory.

_So familiar. But so different._

Part of her wanted to talk to them, just to hear their voices again. The other part knew that was too dangerous.

Ahsoka’s hand unconsciously reached for the bag containing her lightsabers.

The troopers ignored them both and continued their silent vigil.

_If only they knew who we were._

Just a handful of meters away lay _Starshine_ in all her glory.

_Hello, rustbucket._

_Nobody tried to steal the engine couplings again._

_Nice._

Ahsoka  walked up the ramp and threw the sack of credits down next to the much larger sack of credits.

_Maybe we should have gotten them digitally after all._

Then again, digital transfers leave a trace.

_And that’s something two fugitives can’t really afford._

“Do we have anything to eat?” Ahsoka slumped into one of the new chairs that now graced the ship.

“We have some dried rations.

“My bad. I meant something hot.”

“We have a stove. Make hot rations.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad. You get right on that.”

Barriss laughed. “When did I become your personal chef?”

“About thirty seconds ago.” Ahsoka closed her eyes.

“You’re hopeless."

_Yeah, probably. But aren’t we all?_

Ahsoka heard the oven start, and she smiled.

***

Barriss was engaged in a pastime that was starting to become something of a habit: staring at the ceiling.

_Oh, that crack in the durasteel is new._

_And that rivet is definitely going to fall out in the next day or two._

_I wonder if the rivets are arranged in multiples of three, or multiples of fo-_

Ahsoka snored. Loudly.

 _Very_ loudly.

_By the Force, this is the thanks I get for being a hero._

Barriss sighed and rolled over on her makeshift bed, her view shifting for an equally pleasant view of the wall.

_Oh! These are a different type than the ones on the ceiling!_

_..._

_What has my life come to?_

Hustling gamblers and counting rivets. Not very dramatic.

It was funny, actually. Barriss didn’t really know what to expect as a fugitive, but she certainly wasn’t expecting so much waiting.

_Listen to yourself, Barriss. You’re complaining about a lack of danger!_

Ahsoka snored again, even louder than the last time.

_There’s no way I’m going to get any sleep right now. Might as well see the city while we’re still here._

Barriss rose from floor and stretched her arms. With that done, she walked over to Ahsoka’s bed, and she poked the sleeping woman on the shoulder.

Ahsoka’s eyes fluttered open, and when she spoke her speech was slurred with the heaviness of sleep. “W-what’s up?”

Barriss cleared her throat. “I can’t sleep. I’m going to stretch my legs.”

Ahsoka gave a weak smile and raised a thumb. “Cool.” Then she promptly fell back into a deep sleep.

_Blast, how does she do that?_

Barriss grabbed the clone’s blaster and hid it under her clothing. With a final pat to make sure she had a credit in her pocket, she exited the ship and left the hangar behind.

Malastare was a somewhat pretty planet, even if it was still scarred by the ravages of war. Barriss hadn’t been present at the battles over the world’s precious fuel reserves, but she had heard about the fierce fighting. Even now, over a year later, craters littered the countryside, and buildings on the outskirts of towns still bore blaster burns.

_And who could ever forget the massive killer lizard?_

Honestly, it was almost comical that the same man who once tried to weaponize a gigantic monster was now the ultimate leader of roughly half the galaxy.

_That really should have been a red flag._

Well, declaring war and placing the Jedi in command roles was kind of a red flag too.

_Too late for hindsight._

_Too late for a lot of things._

A group of four stormtroopers marched past her mechanically, their boots perfectly synchronized down to the individual step. Their helmets glared at the surroundings with narrowed eyes and frowning mouths.

Barriss fought the urge to pull her clothes around her. Any sudden movement could be seen as a prelude to an attack, any motion to hide herself an admission of guilt.

_Is this how the Separatist civilians felt? Always watching. Never sure if today would be the day they were gunned down in the streets._

_No wonder they hated us._

A small booth set up beside an empty speeder garage promised, in neatly painted Aurebesh, “Coffee, Tea”.

Barriss took a seat and looked up at the sleepy Dug that stood inside.

“Hey there, kid.” His voice was as sleepy as his face, as though he was considering each syllable.

“Hey.”

“Some night, huh?” The Dug tapped the table with a swaying foot.

“Yeah.”

The Dug looked at the sky and squinted. “Looks like that storm they were talking about is blowing in. Heard it’s going to pour for three days straight.”

Barriss followed his gaze. Near the horizon, massive black clouds were swirling and crackling with flashes of lightning.

“Heh. Matches the mood.”

“Some kid won big over at the casino down by the edge of town.” He picked up a holobook and thumbed (toed?) through it.

“Yeah, I heard about that.”

The Dug smiled. “It was all that scraggly Bothan was talking about. He kept saying this girl took him for everything he had.”

Barriss rested her head in her hands. “That’s unfortunate.”

The Dug put the book back down and sighed. “Are you actually going to buy something?”

“I can’t sleep.”

The Dug laughed. “Then I think you probably shouldn’t have coffee. Or tea, really. Have you tried counting the rivets in your ship?”

“Yeah. Didn’t work.”

“That helped me out a few nights, back when I was a spacer out near the Unknown Regions, way before the Clone Wars. I never slept well in space. There’s no sun, no real rhythm to the day.”

“I never had that problem. But I see your point.”

The Dug poured out a cup of water and handed it to Barriss.

“Have you been on Malastare long?”

“A few weeks now.”

Barriss sipped the water. It was cold, but not overly so.

“What brings you here? You don’t look like a fuel trader.”

“I just needed a place to relax for awhile, you know? Life’s been pretty hectic with the rise of the Empire.”

“You got that right. I don’t like this one bit. I’m just glad the Imps are taking their sweet time setting up here.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Republic all but cleared out after that whole lizard incident. The Empire only has a handful of local garrisons across the whole planet. I hear they’re supposed to be sending reinforcements eventually to strengthen them, but they said that weeks ago.”

“Huh.”

Barriss heard sounds of a struggle, and she turned to find their source.

Further down the street, right at the mouth of an alley, an Imperial officer was shoving an elderly Twi’lek about.

“Listen, old man, you’re going to respect your betters,” the officer said.

_Sounds like the same one from before._

“Look away,” the Dug said quietly. “It’s not worth it.”

_Look away. Look away._

_That’s all I do anymore._

The Twi’lek fell to the ground, and the officer kicked him in the gut with a well placed boot.

_Someone should do something._

“Hey, look away,” the Dug said, “he’ll beat you worse if he catches you staring at him like that.”

The officer stomped on the Twi’lek’s hand, and Barriss heard a sound that could only be bones cracking.

The Twi’lek screamed incoherently.

“Oh, shut up!” the officer yelled. “All you aliens do is complain and complain! You should be thanking us!”

_He's going to kill him._

_Someone needs to do something._

“Didn’t you hear me?” the Dug asked. “It’s not worth it!”

_I’m someone._

“It’s always worth it,” Barriss said, rising from her seat. “Thanks for the water.”

Barriss pulled her scarf from her head and tied it around her face, obscuring everything save her eyes.

The Twi’lek rolled onto his back and gripped his hand tightly in pain.

_I’m someone._

The officer turned around just as Barriss was within arm’s reach of him.

“What do you think you-” he started to say.

_He’s taller up close._

Barriss punched the man in the gut with as much strength as she could muster.

The officer doubled over and coughed. “What the hell-”

Barriss brought her knee up to the officer’s face, and she felt something snap.

With a freshly broken nose the officer staggered backwards and slumped against the corner of the building across from Barriss. Blood dripped down his face.

The Twi’lek scrambled to his feet and limped away.

The officer stared at her with hard grey eyes that were made soft with panic.

_It is the one from before._

“Do you know what you’ve just done?” he lisped through swollen lips.

_I do._

_I wish I cared._

Barriss grabbed the man by the shoulders and, with a little help from the Force, threw him down the alley. He staggered over a trash can and landed hard on the ground. Barriss looked both ways down the street.

_Not a stormtrooper in sight._

Barriss turned down the alley and cracked her knuckles. The officer struggled to his feet and turned to face her. His uniform was now stained with streaks of brown muck. In his hand was an electrified baton.

“Stay back!” He took a step backward. “I’ll kill you!”

 _The Separatists couldn’t kill me. The Sith couldn’t kill me._ _The Jedi couldn’t kill me. The clones couldn’t kill me._

_You. You will not kill me._

Barriss strolled forward slowly and kicked an empty can out of the way.

“Die!” the officer cried.

He swung the baton wildly, and Barriss only had to duck slightly to avoid it. Sparks flew as the baton was bashed against the wall of the alley. He swung again, this time in an overhead attack, and Barriss simply leaned to the side. He swung a third time, diagonally, and she caught his wrist.

His mouth dropped. “You’re too fast to be-”

Barriss punched him the face, and winced.

_Your teeth are too hard._

The baton fell to the ground, and the officer fell as well, after Barriss planted a kick to his chest.

He looked up at her from his throne of garbage and whimpered. “P-please don’t kill me.”

Rain started to fall. It was an icy, startling sort of rain.

Barriss pulled the blaster carbine from her side and aimed it at the officer’s head.

A tear fell from his left eye. Or was it rain?

_One pull of the trigger and he’s gone._

The officer’s lips trembled. “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.”

_He’d be gone. Like he never existed._

The officer closed his eyes. Barriss was sure it wasn’t rain rolling down his cheeks.

_Wait._

_What am I doing?_

_Like I don't have enough blood on my hands._

Barriss lowered the blaster with a shaky hand and shoved it back under clothes.

The officer opened his eyes tentatively, and stared up at her.

“Never forget this night,” Barriss ordered. “Never forget how this could have ended.”

The officer nodded. “Thank y-”

“Stop talking. Never forget what it feels like to be helpless. Next time something like this happens, you probably won’t walk away.”

With that in mind, Barriss kicked the man in the head, sending him into the swirling unpleasantness that was unconsciousness.

_That certainly was an experience._

The adrenaline rush came crashing down all at once, and Barriss felt her heart slow.

She left the officer where he was and walked back to the booth. The shutters were closed. The Dug was nowhere to be seen.

_Good job, Barriss._

Barriss tore the scarf from her face and examined it. The material was frayed at the edges.

_That’s what you get for three credits._

Barriss walked through empty streets back to the hangar in a daze. Her mind was as cloudy as the sky above.

_I almost shot a helpless man._

_I almost pulled the trigger._

_I’m nothing but a hypocrite. I didn’t even try to help the Twi’lek. All I cared about was hurting him._

_I’m disgusting._

Barriss walked through the hangar and straight into a stormtrooper.

Time seemed to freeze as the trooper looked her up and down.

“Watch your step, kid,” he said in the same voice as his countless brothers.

Barriss tried her hardest not to bolt straight to the ship. “Sorry.”

Barriss got the distinct impression that he was studying her.

“Get out of the rain,” he said before going on his way.

_Good plan._

Barriss made it back to the ship - just when the rain started to come down in great sheets - and slinked inside as quietly as she could.

_The rain sounds nice when it hits the ship._

She raised the ramp, wrung out her clothes, and changed in the bathroom.

_At least I’ll sleep now._

Barriss flopped down on the blankets.

“Did you have fun?” Ahsoka asked.

Barriss yelped. “Why are you awake!?”

“It’s a little hard to sleep when you open the door in the middle of a downpour, Barriss.”

_Ah, yes._

“Sorry about that.”

Ahsoka snorted. “I’d rather you wake me up than spend the night outside.” Her voice was muffled, as though her face was buried in a pillow.

_It probably is._

“So, did you have fun?” Ahsoka asked again. “Meet anybody interesting?”

“Of course I did. Malastare’s an interesting planet.”

“Yeah, it sure is. Do you think you can sleep now?”

“Definitely.”

“Great. See you in the morn-”

“Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka snored in response.

Barriss smiled.

_You’re going to have to teach me how to do that one day._

Barriss closed her eyes.

_Just listen to the rain. Worry about everything else later._

Ten minutes later, she was asleep.

***

Hath Warlo, Imperial Officer, narrowed his eyes. “It’s late, captain.  _Very_ late.”

The stormtrooper shifted on his feet. “My apologies, sir. I thought you would want to be informed of this.”

Warlo turned on the lamp at his bedside and squinted in the light. “Informed about what?”

The trooper stepped to the side, and an officer walked into the room. His face was a mess, and his uniform was simply _ruined._

Warlo sighed. “What happened? Too much to drink again, Kila?”

Kila shook his head vigorously. “N-no sir. I was attacked.”

_Of all the-_

“Attacked? By who?”

Kila looked at the ground and pressed an ice pack to his face. “I-I couldn’t say, s-sir. All I know is that it was a female. P-probably y-y-young.”

Warlo stepped towards Kila and examined his injuries.

_Broken nose, split lip. Cracked ribs, too, going by the breathing._

“Did you see her face?” Warlo asked. He already knew the answer.

“N-no, s-sir. She had her face covered.”

“Do you know what species she belonged to?”

“N-no, sir. It was d-dark. I-I couldn’t s-see anything d-distinctive.”

_Damn it._

_Looks like this’ll have to be done the hard way._

“You’re dismissed, Kila. Get to the infirmary and get yourself patched up. I don’t want this to happen again.”

Kila gave a weak salute and marched off towards the infirmary.

“Where was Kila stationed, captain?” Warlo asked, taking a flask from his nightstand.

The captain thought for a moment. “Zalasbara, sir.”

_Of course he was._

“Damn it.” Warlo took a long sip, and felt the alcohol burn its way down his throat. “We’re the only garrison anywhere near Zalasbara.”

“Yessir.”

Warlo offered the flask to the captain. The clone shook his head.

“I won’t let my first posting in the Empire be defined by rebellious acts and seditious assaults, captain. Isn’t there a contingency order regarding fugitives that have gone to ground?”

The captain nodded. “Yessir. Order 37.”

Warlo smiled. “Ah, yes, I remember when we had to use that back during the war. Very effective.”

The captain seemed to hesitate. “With all due respect, sir, that order requires direct authorization from a commander at least five ranks higher than you.”

Warlo tightened his grip on the flask. “Are you being insubordinate, captain?”

“No.” The captain’s grip on his own weapon tightened as well. “I’m simply stating the facts.”

“Sir.”

“There’s no need to call me sir.”

Warlo remembered why he didn’t like the clones. Far too mouthy.

“Well, captain, what would you have me do? Hail Coruscant and ask to speak to an admiral? I’m afraid this storm has knocked out all communications leaving the planet. I would remind you I am the highest authority on Malastare until further notice.”

The captain seemed to glare at Warlo through his helmet. “Then we have to wait until the storm lets up. If the Emperor learns that we declared 37 without the proper authority-”

Warlo threw his flask against the wall. “Damn it, man! Let me tell _you_ what will happen if the Emperor learns we let rebels run amok on Malastare because you were too caught up in bureaucracy to act: he’ll make us _wish_ that we were dead! I am _not_ going to end up receiving a visit from that lightsaber wielding asthmatic robot because you were afraid to act!”

The captain sighed. “I understand, sir. Do you want me to give the order immediately?”

_It’s dark and wet. No moonlight. Dozens and dozens of houses to search from top to bottom in perfect ambush conditions._

“No, no. Wait until the morning.” Warlo scratched his chin. “Take all fifty men and make sure their blasters are functioning at optimal conditions. At 0800 hours I’ll call for an Imperial address at Zalasbara’s central square. You’ll surround the crowd and wait for my order to strike.”

The captain gave a weary salute. “Aye aye, sir.” He turned to walk out.

A thought popped into Warlo’s mind. “Oh, captain. Make sure you halt all traffic leaving the planet until this whole mess is sorted. I’d hate to have our fugitive flee before we have the pleasure of conversing with her.”

“Yessir.”

The captain closed the door behind him.

 _I am getting_ far  _too old for this nonsense._

Warlo smiled, though.

_This is going to look amazing on my record._

***

Barriss awoke to the smell of tea and spices.

“Hey there.” Ahsoka shoved a mug of steaming tea into Barriss’ hands. “You slept in.”

Barriss yawned. “I guess I’m just tired.” She drank some of the hot tea.

_Perfect._

Ahsoka’s eyes widened. “What happened to your hand?”

_What?_

Barriss looked down. The knuckles of her right hand were bruised and split.

_Blast._

“I may have gotten in a fight last night.”

Ahsoka frowned. “What do you mean ‘may have’?”

_No point in lying now._

_You owe her this much, at least._

“I, uh, got in a tussle with an Imperial officer.”

Ahsoka stared at her. “What?”

“I said I fought a-”

Ahsoka raised her hand. “I heard what you said! I’m just trying to figure out why you thought that was a good idea!”

“He was beating an old man, I had to do something!”

Ahsoka sighed. “I probably would have done the same thing. Alright, I’ll start the ship up and get us out of here before-”

A transmission boomed over the hangar intercom loudly enough to be clearly audible through the ship’s door.

“Attention, citizens and visitors of Zalasbara! You are hereby invited to the town square for a special address by the Garrison Commander Hath Warlo!” It was a clone’s voice. “Noncompliance is an arrestable offense. Any ship attempting to leave before the address is finished will be fired upon. Have a nice day.”

Ahsoka looked at Barriss.

“It’s probably just a coincidence.” Barriss shrugged.

Ahsoka nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure it is. Absolutely. No way it’s related to the whole assault thing.”

“I guess we don’t really have a choice, do we?”

“Do you think you could out fly an Imperial garrison in this bucket?”

“No.”

“Neither do I. Let’s go.”

The pair made their way to the square in silence, with Ahsoka growing more and more irritated as she sloshed through the rain.

“These are new boots,” she complained.

Eventually they found Zalasbara’s city square. It wasn’t hard, considering it was in the dead center of town and filled with a crowd of over three hundred beings.

At the far edge of the square, on a platform constructed in front of an administration building, stood an Imperial officer flanked by stormtroopers with rifles in their hands. Rain dripped from their uniforms and helmets.

_He looks old enough to be a grandfather._

The officer - who must have been Hath Warlo - waited a moment as the crowd murmured before he strolled forward.

“Greetings, fair people of Zalasbara!” His whispery voice echoed through an amplifier. “I’m not going to beat around the bush. We have a traitor in our midst.”

_Great._

Members of the crowd made sounds of disbelief.

“Silence. Last night, a member of this crowd brutally assaulted an officer of the Empire and left him unconscious in an alley just a few clicks from this very spot.”

The crowd started to murmur again, a few shouted objections.

“I said silence!” he roared with a sudden burst of energy. “One of you did it! I will _not_ tolerate the presence of a traitor on my planet!”

A Dug raised an arm in the air. “It’s not your planet, it’s ours!”

The stormtroopers aimed their rifles at the crowd silently.

The murmurs stopped.

_What’s happening?_

Ahsoka nudged Barriss. “Get ready to act.”

“Of course I wi-”

Warlo snarled. “I am invoking contingency Order 37.”

The silence and confused glances that met him seemed to only irritate him further.

“Fine, I’ll put it in terms you understand. If the criminal does not surrender themselves here and now, I will have no choice but to treat every single one of you as a possible rebel. The penalty for rebellion is death.”

Barriss looked to the edges of the crowd and saw more stormtroopers filing in.

_They’re surrounding us!_

A Gran threw his arm dismissively. “You can’t do that! You’re just a blowhard. I’m going home.”

He made it three steps before a blaster bolt slammed into his back.

Screams of terror and pleas for mercy erupted throughout the square.

Ahsoka grabbed Barriss by the shoulder. “Get your blaster ready! Do you want the shoto?”

The stormtroopers advanced, causing the crowd to move inwards.

“SILENCE!” Warlo shouted into the amplifier. “If you’re there, criminal, you have thirty seconds before everybody dies!”

_By the Force._

“Barriss, get ready!” Ahsoka took out her lightsabers, but left them off. “I won’t be able to fight them off myself!”

“Twenty-five seconds!”

Barriss looked around the square.

_Upwards of three hundred innocents. Fifty troopers._

“Twenty seconds!”

_Even if we fight our way out, how many would die because of my mistakes?_

_How many have died because of my mistakes?_

Once again, Barriss’ mind was filled with the sounds of explosions and screaming.

“Fifteen!”

_I won’t let anybody else._

Barriss grabbed Ahsoka’s hands and closed them around her lightsabers.

Ahsoka blinked. “What are you doing?”

Barriss squeezed Ahsoka’s hands. “I won’t let you die.”

“Ten!”

The troopers aimed their rifles at the crowd.

Ahsoka’s lips trembled. “N-no, there’s another way!” Tears lurked at the corners of her eyes.

“Five!”

“I’m sorry, Ahsoka. For everything.” Barriss let go of her.

“Don’t do this!” Ahsoka started to cry.

“That’s it! You had your chance!”

The stormtroopers squared their shoulders as the crowd started to scream.

“I did it!” Barriss threw her hands in the air. “It was me!”

The stormtroopers didn’t budge, but they didn’t fire.

The square grew silent.

“Ha!” Warlo smiled. “Is that so? Step forward!”

“I’ll save you.” Ahsoka whispered, “I swear by the Force, I’ll save you.”

_I know you will._

The crowd parted around Barriss as she moved to the platform with her hands in the air. She stopped at the foot of the construction and stared up at Warlo.

“Huh.” Warlo rubbed his chin. “A Mirialan, don’t see them everyday. Captain.”

A stormtrooper with a helmet painted black and gold aimed his rifle at Barriss and shot her in the chest.

Then the whole world went black.

***

Ahsoka wanted to yell when Barriss fell to the ground, but she didn’t.

Instead, she just stared with tears in her eyes.

_I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you all._

Ahsoka felt the switches on her lightsabers and prepared herself.

_You’ll all die today._

Warlo raised an eyebrow. “That was on stun. It was, wasn’t it?”

It was moments like these that made Ahsoka glad she had better hearing than most.

The stormtrooper nodded. “As you ordered, sir.”

Warlo smiled. “Oh, good, good! Load her up and take her to the garrison.”

Ahsoka felt like she could breathe again.

Warlo turned his gaze to the crowd, still grinning. “Well that was thrilling! Make sure you remember what happens to those that rise against the Empire. You’re dismissed.”

A pair of stormtroopers grabbed Barriss’ limp body and placed her in a nearby speeder.

Within moments, Warlo and all the troopers were gone.

The crowd stood in place for a moment, as though they were collectively wondering if it was a trick or a trap.

Eventually, they were gone too.

The square was now empty save for Ahsoka, the dead Gran, and the endless rain.

Ahsoka tucked her lightsabers into her bag and turned in the direction of the Imperial garrison.

She had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll always appreciate feedback!  
> Some Notes:  
> 1) Ahsoka's hustling gambit was inspired by Qui-Gon's tomfoolery with dice in the Phantom Menace.  
> 2) At the end of the comic Purge, Palpatine tells Vader that his fight against several Jedi has been exaggerated to the point of depicting him as killing fifty Jedi without taking a scratch.  
> 3) Giant monster lizards.  
> 4) The Force can only help in a melee fight.  
> 5) Order 37 is mentioned in The Last of the Jedi series of books, which shows the Empire using it as a means to capture Ferus Olin.


	6. A Jedi No Longer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an interrogation is held, an infiltration is made, and revenge is taken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, this chapter includes some descriptions that may be upsetting to people with arachnophobia or insectophobia, as well as more violence than previous chapters.

_“Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.”_

_\- The Sith Code as written by Sorzus Syn, 6900 BBY_

**Mirial, 27 BBY**

Barriss huffed and puffed as she ran up the mountain as swiftly as she could. Her lungs burned and her legs ached, yet she kept on running. Sunrise on Mirial was a beautiful thing, and she wasn’t going to miss it for anything.

“Barriss, child, control yourself!” Master Luminara yelled behind her. “I did not take you from the Temple so that you could break your neck!”

Barriss glanced behind her and saw Luminara hopping over a rock. The Master’s usual headdress was gone, and her hair was flowing in the breeze.

“I’m sorry, Master.” Barriss pointed upwards towards the summit. “But we’re going to miss it!”

Luminara’s face grew stern. “We won’t miss it, my Padawan.” A smile graced her lips. “Now get off that rock, you look ridiculous.”

Barriss stared at the ground as she dropped from her perch. “Yes, Master. Sorry, Master.”

Luminara reached Barriss and adjusted an errant curl of hair. “It’s alright, child, but you must remember that we are not here to admire the sunrise. Today is an important day for our people.”

“The Day of Remembrance,” Barriss said. “When we reflect on those who have become one with the Force.”

Luminara nodded. “Yes. A day that all may relate to.” She frowned. “I feel as though this day will become more important in the years to come.”

“Why do you say that, Master? Are you talking about the Chancellor again?"

Luminara quirked a brow. “My, you are an intuitive one, aren’t you? Yes, I do not trust some of the Chancellor’s decisions. I feel as though the Jedi are going to be forced to choose a side eventually.”

Barriss nodded maybe just a little too enthusiastically. “It is the Jedi’s job to protect, never to guide or dictate.”

“Well said, Padawan."

A few scant rays of sunlight reached Barriss’ face.

“Master, it’s-”

Luminara laughed. “Yes, yes. Run along, now. I’ll catch up in a moment.”

Barriss made a small sound of delight as she resumed her run. Branches and stones did their best to halt her progress, but such things are useless against the determination of a young girl.

Barriss crested the summit with mere moments to spare, which she spent gathering her breath and wiping a small amount sweat from her brow. She turned her gaze to the horizon and found the cold deserts of Mirial laid out before her.

Then the sun came up, and Barriss saw the sort of thing that made poets cry.

Yellow light bathed everything in a golden hue, fog swirled in the air, and a few of Mirial’s native birds flew past with glittering feathers.

“Oh, Master!” Barriss called. “It's beautiful!”

Silence greeted her.

“Master?” Barriss reluctantly turned away from the sun and back down the trail. “Master?”

One of Luminara’s hands reached over the ledge and grasped a clump of grass with some difficulty.

“Master!” Barriss ran down to the ledge. “Are you hurt? Do you need help?”

Again, silence.

Barriss grabbed her master’s hand and pulled as hard as she could. Luminara came over the top of the ledge and settled next to Barriss.

“Master!” Barriss flipped Luminara over, desperate for a sign - a sign of what, she didn’t know.

Luminara’s face was gone. In it’s place was a dusty skull with two black eyes staring up with a vacant gaze.

“Oh!” Barriss clamped a hand over her mouth and took a step backward. “By the Force!”

Luminara’s eyes swiveled to face Barriss. Her skeletal jaw flapped open. “You let me die, Barriss.”

Barriss took another step backward and tripped over a rock. She propped herself up on her elbows and watched in silence as Luminara crawled towards her.

“You let me die, Barriss,” Luminara said with Mara’s voice.

Barriss crawled backwards and nearly slipped off the edge of the summit. She glanced behind herself and found nothing but a massive fall to the valley below.

“You let me die, Barriss,” Luminara said with the voice of a clone.

Luminara grabbed Barriss by the throat and shoved her into the ground.

“You let me die, Barriss,” she said with Ahsoka’s voice.

Barriss screamed as Luminara raised a clawed hand. She closed her eyes as it came down at her face.

***

**Malastare, 19 BBY**

When she opened her eyes, Barriss found herself face to face with an old man with a curious look on his face.

“Hmm. Interesting.” Warlo sat back in his chair. “Is she stable now?”

The medic standing beside her gestured with an empty syringe. “She should be, yes.”

Warlo waved his hand. “Very well, you’re dismissed.”

The medic saluted and made his way out the door.

_Where am I?_

_Four walls. Small room. Dark light. One way mirror._

Ah, an interrogation room.

“My apologies,” Warlo said. “The drug cocktail that roused you may have caused some very distressing imagery in your dreams, though not nearly as distressing as the Empire hopes.” He snorted. “I’m sure the boys in R&D will have that figured out someday.”

Barriss tried to rub at her head, but found that her hands were shackled to the table by a length of chain and a pair of handcuffs.

“Why am I alive?” she asked. “I thought you wanted me dead.”

Most people would have sounded appreciative about being alive. Barriss didn’t.

Warlo’s jaw grew taut. “I do want you dead. I just have to make sure that you don’t know anything important before I pull the trigger. I’m sure you understand.”

“I understand that you almost killed over three hundred people to find me.” She couldn't hide the anger rising inside her. “What kind of a monster does that?”

“The kind you should be afraid of. Water?” He offered a small metal cup.

_Nice try._

“I’m not drinking anything you give me. You’ll have to get your serums in me some other way.”

Warlo shrugged and emptied the cup in one gulp. “Your loss. Let’s start with your name.”

“Fendula Crumpledink V, heir to the Hutt Empire.”

Warlo looked exhausted all of a sudden. “Please, don’t make me get the droid for this. I hate droids, especially these newfangled interrogation models. You’d think a machine would be less messy.”

_His eye twitched a bit._

“You don’t have a droid,” she said. “You wouldn't have needed a trooper to wake me up if you did.”

Warlo’s frown deepened. “You think you’re very clever, don’t you?”

“I think I’m cleverer than most, yes.”

Warlo reached into his coat and removed a small cylindrical container. “Inside this little tube is a particularly venomous insect from some Outer Rim world with a name I can’t pronounce.”

_That’s not really safe to keep in your pocket._

“You can’t pronounce the insect or the planet?” Barriss asked.

“Shut up. If you do not tell me your name I will have the insect administer a sting. It’s not fatal, but it is incredibly painful.”

Barriss sat back as far as she could in her chair. “You’re a real piece of work.”

“I try. Your name.”

“Rija Fiyeea.” Barriss put a defeated look on her face.

“I don’t believe you.” He rose from his seat and uncapped the tube. “What is your name?”

“Rija Fiyeea.”

Warlo took a small pair of forceps out of his pocket and reached inside the tube. “Which hand would you like to get stung?”

“You’re insane.”

“Which hand?”

_Damn it._

“Left.”

“Right it is.”

Warlo removed a small black creature no larger than a hand from the tube. It’s legs flailed about randomly, and a long stinger flexed itself menacingly. Warlo lowered the creature until it was nearly touching Barriss’ hand.

Barriss tried to pull her hand back, but the shackles kept her rooted in place.

“Last chance. Your name.”

“Rija Fiyeea!”

Warlo glared at the insect. “I do so hate this part.”

Warlo touched the insect to Barriss’ hand and held it in place. For a few moments both the former Jedi and the Imperial officer stared at the creature as it tried to scuttle about uselessly.

“My name is Rija!” Barriss said as the legs pinched her hand. “It’s Rija!”

The insect stung her.

To say it hurt would be an understatement. To say it felt like a fire roaring in her skin would be somewhat closer to the truth, though it still fell short. Every nerve felt as though it was being stabbed over and over again by white-hot metal. Her muscles tightened involuntarily, and the pain traveled up her arm like lightning through a rod.

It took her ten seconds to realize the screaming she heard was coming from her own mouth.

Warlo stepped beside her and snapped his fingers. “Are you still with me?”

Barriss blinked tears out her eyes and nodded as best she could.

Warlo took a small syringe out of his pocket and shook it in front of her face. A clear liquid spun about inside of it.

“Antivenom. It could be yours, if you tell me your name. Without it I’m afraid you’ll be in this state for up to three hours. Or was it five? I can never be sure with you Near-Humans.”

_“We are one with the Force, and the Force is one with us.” Luminara said as she placed the incense on the table, “We know this truth to be absolute. It is a beacon in the dark.”_

_“Though the galaxy is filled with darkness, and the hearts of many have been hardened by fear and anger, we know to trust in the Light.” Barriss replied, placing her own incense on the table._

_“We are one with the Force, and the Force is one with us.” Luminara knelt to the ground and closed her eyes, “So shall it be from now until the end of time.”_

_“As it has been written, so shall it be read.” Barriss knelt to the ground and closed her eyes._

Barriss opened her eyes and pushed the pain from her mind, if only for a moment.

“Go fuck yourself,” she said through gritted teeth.

“This is going to be a very long day for you.”

Warlo took his seat opposite of Barriss, and he waited for the second wave of pain to start.

It did.

***

It wasn’t hard to find the Imperial garrison, all it took was some elementary guess work and the most rudimentary of tracking efforts.

Getting there was a little more problematic. The garrison was miles away from Zalasbara, and the terrain was definitely not suited for foot traffic. The hills were harsh and steep, and holes threatened to snap the ankles of any who dared run across it.

Ahsoka didn’t care, though. She had been through worse.

_And I’ll probably be through even worse before all this is over._

Lo and behold, there it was. It was an ugly, tall monstrosity of prefabricated metal and flickering fog lights. It probably would have looked out of place anywhere else. Here, on a hill overlooking a battlefield covered in craters and broken military equipment, with rain beating down as loudly as a war drum, it looked right at home.

Ahsoka crawled through the wet grass with her head to the ground. She could not afford to give the Empire even a moment to prepare.

_They want to interrogate Barriss, but an executed prisoner is better than an escapee._

There was only one entrance that Ahsoka could see at ground level. Two stormtroopers stood side by side with rifles in hand, their heads were turned in just the right direction to make an ambush possible.

_Count to fifteen, inhale. Count to fifteen, exhale._

Ahsoka rose into a crouch and approached the troopers as quickly as she dared from the side. She drew her lightsabers and prepared to ignite them.

“I hate this place,” the stormtrooper on the right said, “I hate this rain, I hate those freaky Dugs, and I hate these new boots.”

Ahsoka froze in place.

_If I close my eyes it would be like old times again. Anakin and I walking through the hangar. Rex and his boys preemptively complaining._

“I know what you mean.” The stormtrooper on the left chuckled. “Look on the bright side. We’ve only got another year or two ‘til us clones are kicking back on a nice tropical planet in the Mid Rim.”

“You think so? Who’re they going to get to replace us? Droids?”

“Hell if I know. That’s not our job. Probably volunteers.”

“You’re joking! Ain’t nobody as good as us!”

_They aren’t your friends anymore. Don’t listen to them._

Ahsoka raised her lightsabers and waited.

Lightning crackled, and for a second the clouds of Malastare looked like a monumental mosaic made of smoke and light. A moment later, thunder roared like a wounded beast.

Ahsoka activated her lightsabers and hurled her shoto. It spun in the air five times before it impaled the stormtrooper on the left. His friend shouted in disbelief, and turned just in time to see Ahsoka slash through his chest.

“I’m sorry,” she said to the bodies.

Ahsoka collected her shoto and walked up to the door. It was small compared to the rest of the building, barely large enough for two men to walk abreast.

_Evidently being attacked never occurred to them._

Ahsoka rapped on the door five times. “Hey, open up!”

_Hopefully it’s as thin as I think it is._

A slot near the top of the door slid open, and a man’s face appeared.

He noted her blades. “Oh shit.”

Ahsoka stabbed through the door, and she winced at the sound of melting metal and grinding plasma.

The officer’s eyes widened and he fell to the ground with a soft grunt.

Ahsoka opened the door without a fuss and slid the body into a darkened corner before walking to a security terminal sitting in a small nook down the hall from entrance. She started to flip through the available programs and frowned.

_There’s nothing but personal messages and shipping manifests!_

How endlessly helpful.

Ahsoka punched the control panel and wiped rain from her montrals.

_What kind of security terminal doesn’t actually monitor security!?_

Imperial efficiency never ceased to amaze.

_I’ll find you, Barriss._

Ahsoka came to an intersection, and she looked about wildly, desperate for a sign of anything that could help.

_I’ll find you._

***

“It’s Barriss,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. “My name is Barriss Offee.”

Warlo smiled predatorily. “There we go! That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Barriss tried to pick her head up off the table, but she didn’t have the strength. Her mind was murky and thick. Her right arm throbbed in time with her heartbeat.

_Just let me sleep._

“Give me the antivenom.” Barriss turned her eyes towards him.

Warlo picked the syringe up and held it up to the light as though it were a precious jewel. “I’m afraid I’m going to need some more information if you want this.”

“Damn you.”

“I already am damned, I assure you. Give me a moment.” Warlo removed a communicator from his belt. “Captain, give me everything you can find on the computer regarding Barriss Offee.”

No response came.

“Captain, respond.”

A burst of static came through, and it died out just as quickly as it began.

_Could the rain have knocked out all communications?_

“Captain?”

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a clone’s voice came through. “Sorry, sir. I was trying to contact the perimeter guard, but it seems like their helmets are bugging out. Say again.”

Warlo shot a glance at Barriss. “Give me everything the computers have on Barriss Offee. Don’t bother trying to contact Coruscant for a full report, the storm is still too thick.”

“Yessir.”

Warlo looked back at Barriss as though she were a puzzle waiting to be solved.

“Do you want to know why I did it?” Barriss wringed her hands. “I’ll sign a confession if that’s what you want.”

_It’s not like I haven’t done enough to deserve one._

Warlo appeared personally offended. “I know why you did it. You’re a spoiled girl who doesn’t like authority, especially when it applies to you.”

“Then what do you want to know? My birthday?”

“Did you come to Malastare alone?” he asked.

_You’re never getting that one._

“Yes.”

“I already know the answer, I just wanted to see if you were smart enough to tell the truth. Look at this.”

Warlo reached into his coat and revealed a small holoprojector. He turned it on, and an image of Barriss and Ahsoka standing at the city square came into focus.

_No._

“Who is the Togruta?” he asked. “Who is she to you?”

Barriss looked at Ahsoka’s face. “She’s just someone I met at the spaceport.”

Warlo was not satisfied by the answer. He pushed a button on the projector and the image switched to a picture of Barriss grasping Ahsoka’s hands just before she surrendered herself.

“Are you like this with every girl you pick up at a spaceport? Who is she? She’s clearly more than a friend.”

A new wave of pain hit Barriss and she groaned.

“I didn’t get access to this footage until just before you woke up. I dispatched most of the garrison to search Zalasbara for her, but so far they’ve found nothing. It’s a tad vexing. If you were to help me find her, I’m sure the Empire would take that into consideration.”

_Yeah, right._

Barriss remained silent.

Warlo picked up the antivenom and spun it around in his hand. “If you don’t tell me who she is, I’ll break this.”

_It hurts._

_But nothing could ever hurt enough for me to give you up._

_Not again._

“You’re getting nothing out of me, Warlo, no matter how much venom you put in me.”

Warlo snarled and threw the antivenom to the ground. It shattered into countless pieces. “You must care for her an awful lot to go through this. Or maybe you’re trying to make up for something?”

“You could say that. I trust her with my life, and I’m okay with dying for that.”

“You’re an idiot, Barriss. I was hoping that this business would be over by now, but it seems you’re going to force me to use far more banal and primitive means. Tell me, have you ever been electro-”

The communicator came to life. “Sir, Barriss Offee is a Jedi! She went rogue near the end of the war and-”

The transmission cut off as abruptly as it began.

Warlo grabbed the communicator. “Captain? Captain, respond!”

_A flicker in the Force. Something familiar._

_Ah!_

Barriss laughed. “I don’t think your captain will be responding. It looks like you’ll be able to find out who my friend is very soon!”

“You’re a Jedi?” He took a step back.

“I was.”

Barriss noticed that the insect was still sitting on the table inside its tube.

Warlo made for the door. “Someone, help!”

Barriss flicked her wrist and the tube’s lid - as well as the horrible spindly black demon - flew high into the air. The thing landed on Warlo’s forehead.

The insect stung twice in quick succession, and Warlo fell to the ground shrieking with his hand clamped over his face.

_Step one, done._

Barriss wrenched the chains connecting her to the table with all the strength - both physical and given by the Force - she had.

_Please let this work._

The bit of chain connecting her shackles to the table snapped after a prolonged struggle, and Barriss nearly fell out of her chair.

_Step two, done._

Barriss rose to her feet unsteadily, and immediately stumbled against the wall.

_My legs are like jelly._

Her chest felt like she had just been run over by a speeder, her arm burned endlessly, and her head seemed to be filled with water.

_But I’m alive._

Barriss looked down at the insect. It had abandoned Warlo to his writhing and was now wandering aimlessly across the floor. Barriss stomped on it once, twice, thrice.

_Step three, done._

Barriss looked at Warlo. He was balled up on the ground rocking back and forth as though his life depended on it. He didn’t even see her foot coming when she kicked him in the head.

_Step four, done._

_Now to get out of here._

Barriss fell to her knees and searched Warlo’s pockets. He had an awful lot of junk on him for an Imperial officer. Breath mints, receipts for cafeteria purchases, a broken pen. Finally she found it.

_The access card._

Barriss limped over to the door and opened it with the card.

She exited the cell and found herself in a hallway not unlike any other prison in the galaxy. Cell doors lined the walls, and dim fluorescent lights gave the whole set up a sickly, almost medicinal feel to it.

A stormtrooper running towards the cell raised his blaster.

_Not today, not like this._

Barriss yelled in desperation and sprinted into him. The trooper stumbled backwards into the wall and tried to aim his blaster at Barriss.

_Not like this._

Barriss grabbed the blaster by the barrel and pushed it away from her just as the trooper pulled the trigger. The first shot went wild and shattered a light, causing shards of glass to rain down from the ceiling. The second bolt hit the trooper in the throat. Barriss wrenched the blaster out of his hands as he fell.

_He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s de-_

Barriss shook her head.

_Worry about that later. For now, you only have one job: Live._

Barriss turned away from the dead trooper and made her way to the door closest to her.

And that’s when the alarm went off.

***

It wasn’t hard to find the main security room. Especially since there were fifteen signs along the way all pointing towards it.

_Thank you, military bureaucracy._

Ahsoka gripped her lightsabers tightly.

_It won’t take much longer for someone to find the dead._

And when that happened, she just had to outfight forty-something stormtroopers, free Barriss, make it back to Zalasbara, find the  _Starshine,_ and get off of Malastare before the other Imperial garrisons could be alarmed.

_I’m starting to feel like Anakin’s luck rubbed off on me._

_Maybe this is why Obi-Wan always looked like he was five seconds away from pulling out his hair._

Finally, after minutes of creeping through twisting halls and narrow corridors, Ahsoka found the security room.

Terminals blinked rapidly, servers hummed loudly, holograms flickered in time with the muffled thunder, and a stormtrooper with a helmet painted black and gold stood with his back facing the door.

_Hello, captain._

Ahsoka crept into the room and peeked around the captain at the terminal he was using.

**BARRISS OFFEE: FORMER JEDI PADAWAN. EXPELLED & IMPRISONED FOR CRIMES AGAINST THE JEDI ORDER & THE STATE. MISSING & PRESUMED DEAD FOLLOWING PURGE ON CORUSCANT. IF FOUND CONTACT NEAREST IMPERIAL OFFICIAL WITH CLEARANCE LEVELS 5-9.**

_Well that’s not good._

A small picture of Barriss dressed in a prison jumpsuit accompanied the blurb.

_That is a horrible picture._

So, Warlo must have gotten her name somehow.

_Barriss would never give that up willingly._

The captain swore under his breath and held a communicator up to his head. “Sir, Barriss Offee is a Jedi! She went rogue near the end of the war and-”

Ahsoka pulled the communicator out of the captain’s hand with the Force, and she crushed it beneath her foot.

“I can’t let you do that,” she said.

To his credit, the captain did not even waste a second to process what had happened, and he lunged for a blaster rifle that sat propped against another console.

_He’s seen Jedi before, probably killed some._

Ahsoka pulled the rifle towards her, and she sliced it in half with her shoto. The pieces landed behind her in a pile.

“I can’t let you do that either.”

The captain removed a long vibroblade from his hip. “I recognize you. You were in the crowd with that traitor.”

“She may be a traitor, captain, but so are you.” Ahsoka took a step forward. “You don’t stand a chance in a melee.”

The captain removed his helmet and cast it aside. Only a small scar across his chin distinguished him from the countless other clones she had seen before.

“I can try.”

_Be my guest._

Ahsoka and the captain rushed at each other simultaneously, each swinging their respective weapons at any opening they could find. Sparks flew off the vibroblade with every parry, and within a handful of strikes it was obvious that the clone was outmatched, despite the impressive display.

_He might have actually killed a Jedi with that blade._

Finally, after a protracted struggle, Ahsoka slipped past the captain’s guard and finished him with a cut across his chest.

_What a waste._

Ahsoka pulled up a map of the complex, and found that the detention center was located just a short distance away. If Barriss was anywhere in the complex, she was there.

Ahsoka looked at the console displaying Barriss’ file.

_No-one can know we’re alive._

She rammed her lightsaber through every server and terminal in the room.

_They’ll know that something happened here, but they’ll never know who did it._

Ahsoka deactivated her lightsabers and made for the hallway when two blaster shots rang out as clear as day.

_What the hell was that?_

Somewhere further into the complex, a man started shouting orders that Ahsoka could just barely make out. “Sound the alarm!”

_So much for stealth._

Within seconds a horrible whining noise began to blare over the overhead speakers, and emergency lights glowed with orange light.

_Barriss!_

Ahsoka sprinted to the detention center as quickly as she could, and thankfully met no resistance.

_They must be gathering themselves for a combined assault._

Ahsoka jumped up a flight of stairs and landed at the foot of a massive blast door that could only have been the one leading to the prisoners.

_Where’s the damn switch?_

Ah, there it was, tucked in the corner as though it was ashamed to exist. A long array of switches and buttons lay across the panel, and a series of green and red lights flashed intermittently.

_Time for the Anakin Skywalker Method of Deduction._

Ahsoka punched all the switches and waited.

To her endless relief, the door started to slide open.

***

Barriss stared up at the blast door and wondered why the Empire had bothered to put heavy defenses on the inside of the base.

_This... this is just... odd. Whoever designed this place is architecturally challenged._

The sirens continued their endless whining, and Barriss felt her headache worsen.

_Now this is just adding injury to even more injury._

Barriss limped over to the access panel and hesitated.

_Who knows what’s on the other side. It could be a full squad of men waiting to gun me down._

_Or it could be Ahsoka._

Barriss looked behind herself at the rows of empty cells.

_This place is a dead end. I’m done for if I stay here._

Barriss took a deep breath and slid Warlo’s card through the access slot.

_Nothing ventured..._

The blast door slid upwards slowly, and Barriss steeled herself for whatever horrible fate was waiting for her.

Standing on the other side with wide eyes and wet clothes was Ahsoka.

_Oh, that was fast!_

“Hello there.” Barriss took a step forward. “I’m in a bit of trouble again.”

Ahsoka slapped Barriss across the face.

_Alright then._

Barriss winced. “What was that for?”

“For always scaring the hell out of me. Come here.”

Ahsoka drew Barriss into a tight hug.

_Ah._

Barriss sighed and closed her eyes. “You got here awfully fast.”

Ahsoka laughed. “Never underestimate me, Barriss. Are you hurt?”

_That’s an understatement._

“Quite a bit, yes. Nothing overly-” she bit her lip as her arm started to burn again, “-overly serious.”

“Okay, where’s Warlo?”

“You rebel scum!” Warlo’s voice echoed down the hall, as if on cue.

Ahsoka let go of Barriss and activated her lightsabers. “Wait here and keep an eye out, okay? This won’t take long.”

_I know what you’re doing._

_I don’t really care._

Barriss nodded. “Understood.”

Ahsoka sliced through her shackles and pressed the shoto in Barriss’ hand, then she made her way down the hall.

_Thanks._

Barriss took a deep breath and stared at the blade in her hand.

_Here we go._

***

“I’ll kill you, I swear I’ll kill you both.” His voice was weak and raw from screaming. “You’ll never leave Malastare alive!”

Ahsoka stared at the sadist that lay defenseless in front of her. “No you won’t, and yes we will. We’ve beaten worse odds before.”

Warlo was smiling even now. “Even if you’re right, the Empire will never stop hunting you! You’ll spend the rest of your life running and running from destiny!”

“No we won’t. All your systems have been destroyed, no transmissions have left Malastare. Our names will never be known.” It was Ahsoka’s turn to smile now.

Ahsoka raised her lightsaber, and she paused for a moment to listen to it hum. “You’re going to pay for what you’ve done.”

Warlo’s smile vanished, and his eyes widened in panic. “You can’t kill me! I’m helpless!” He took a hand off his face, revealing a massive red blotch. “Jedi are supposed to show mercy.”

Ahsoka thought of all the Jedi that had died over the course of the last month. She thought of all the beings that were already having their lives ground into dust for the sake of Palpatine’s vanity. She thought of all the clones that had been forced to raise their weapons against their friends. She thought of all the scared men, women, and children of Malastare who thought that today was their last.

She thought of Barriss.

“I’m no Jedi.”

Ahsoka didn’t wait for a response, and Warlo didn’t have enough time to offer one. Her lightsaber cut through the air and Warlo fell to the floor.

_Now to get off this rock._

Ahsoka ran back to Barriss and found her propped against the blast door frame.

“See, I’m done,” Ahsoka said. “Now let’s get out of here.”

Barriss cocked her head towards the door. “We might have a problem with that.”

“And why is that?”

“Come out with your hands up, Jedi!” a stormtrooper bellowed. “We might even let you live!”

“They think we’re that stupid?” Ahsoka poked her head around the door frame.

_Ten troopers._

A blaster bolt hit the wall right next to Ahsoka’s head. Ahsoka quickly placed herself behind the wall again.

“Evidently we are,” Barriss said. She turned on her shoto and held it close to her chest. “I’m ready when you are.”

“On the count of three. One.”

Barriss stood back from the door and closed her eyes. “Two.”

“Three,” they said in unison.

The clones that made up the Grand Army of the Republic were, to a man, some of the finest soldiers the galaxy had ever seen. The transition from democracy to dictatorship had done nothing to dull their skills, and each trooper had spent thousands of hours in simulations and combat learning to prepare for any possibility.

There are some things that no amount of training or experience can prepare you for, though. Things such as a critical weapon malfunction, betrayal, rogue weather patterns, or even tainted water supplies.

Or, in this case, two wounded Jedi sprinting at you while screaming at the top of their lungs.

“Blast! Fire! Fire!” a trooper at the front of the fray shouted. “Fire! FIRE!”

A bolt deflected by one of them - Ahsoka wasn’t sure - went wild and smashed a set of lights mounted on the wall. The room was plunged into darkness, save for the yellow and green of lightsabers, and the blue flashes of blasters.

The trooper at the front yelled incoherently and went silent.

_Nine._

“They’re too fast!” another yelled just before Ahsoka killed him.

_Eight._

Barriss stabbed two in quick succession.

_Six._

A blaster bolt hit another right above his heart.

_Five._

“Ah, fuck, fall back! Fall ba-”

_Four._

Ahsoka disarmed another trooper. Literally.

_Three._

Barriss fired two quick shots with her blaster, and another clone hit the floor.

_Two._

One clone tried to turn and run. Ahsoka cut him across the back as she passed him.

_One._

The last clone stumbled backward from the force of three deflected bolts. He slumped against the wall and went still.

_Zero._

“By the Force,” Barriss whispered, “I-”

“You did what you had to. Come on.” Ahsoka walked to the edge of the stairway and listened.

The sounds of boots on metal echoed upwards towards her.

_Great._

“Okay, we can’t go that way.” Ahsoka stepped back and looked around the room. “We need another way out.”

Barriss pointed across the room. “There’s a window over there, but...”

“But what? Now’s a bad time to be afraid of heights.”

Barriss shook her head. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to cushion my fall with the Force. I’ll break my neck.”

The footsteps grew closer.

Ahsoka looked out the window. It was a sixty foot fall, minimum. A speeder was parked just a handful of meters from the garrison.

_That’s what they brought Barriss in._

“Well we can’t stay here.” Ahsoka smashed the window. A woosh of wet air blew at her face.

“Ahsoka, I just said I can’t make the jump!”

Ahsoka stuck a foot over the ledge. She looked back at Barriss and smiled. “Then I guess I’ll just have to catch you.”

“Don’t you dare!” Barriss raised a hand.

Ahsoka jumped out the window.

***

_Why do you do this to me?_

Ahsoka rolled across the ground and held her arms out expectantly.

_Damn it! Damn it!_

The clones were nearly there. Just a few more moments.

“I’m ready!” Ahsoka yelled.

_Damn you!_

Several clones poured out from the stairway with raised weapons.

“Blast ‘em!”

_Damn it!_

Barriss closed her eyes and jumped.

She screamed too, but that was going to be left out if she ever told someone what happened.

Several seconds passed, and Barriss felt her fall begin to slow until it was almost like she was floating in space.

“You can open your eyes,” Ahsoka said.

Barriss did so, and she found herself looking up at Ahsoka’s face.

_Gods, she has gotten strong._

"I told you I had this under control!”

Barriss realised she was staring at the curve of Ahsoka’s smile and she averted her eyes.

_By the Force, I am weak._

“Y-yeah, you did.” Barriss felt her cheeks flush. “Put me down.”

Ahsoka snickered, “Of course, my lady. Let’s get out of here.”

The two were flying away in the Imperial speeder in no time, leaving the dead and angry soldiers far, far behind.

Most of the ride happened in silence, and Barriss found herself wishing that she had worn something warmer as the rain beat down.

Finally, just a few miles away from town, Ahsoka broke the silence.

“Can you promise me something, Barriss?” she asked, eyes not leaving the path.

This caught Barriss off guard. “Of course. But I’m surprised you trust me to keep one.”

_“I’ve learned that ‘trust’ is overrated.”_

_My words._

Ahsoka relaxed into her seat so much it threatened to envelop her. “Barriss, do you really think I would have pulled that stunt back there if I didn’t trust you?”

Barriss turned her gaze to the landscape. “No. That was a stupid thing to say. Obviously you trust me. But why?”

“You used to be my friend.”

Those six words stung worse than any venom.

Barriss was quiet for a long moment, and she hoped that the tears hiding in her eyes didn’t show themselves.

“Yes. I was.”

“Now it’s...” Ahsoka chewed her lip, “...it’s complicated. But yeah, I trust you.”

_That makes one of us._

“So what did you want?”

Ahsoka smiled. “Oh! Yeah, next time you want to get us killed can you give me more than a thirty second notice? I’d like at least five hours, but I could settle for two in a pinch.”

_There she goes again, making everything sound so easy._

_I love it._

Barriss laughed until her ribs ached.

“I swear that I will give you a larger warning next time. If there’s a next time, that is.”

Ahsoka laughed in turn. “There’s always a next time with us, Barriss!”

_There always is._

Barriss was about to close her eyes when a strange sight grabbed her attention.

Smoke. A lot of smoke. So much that it merged seamlessly with the blanket of clouds.

“What is that?” Barriss asked.

She knew the answer, of course.

_Please don’t be what I think it is._

It was.

Zalasbara came into view. Dozens of buildings shot sparks and embers into the air as they burned. The smell of smoke and ash grew even more sour as it mixed with the rain. Even from this distance the sound of blasters could be heard clearly.

Ahsoka said nothing.

Barriss heard the words pour out of her mouth unbidden. “What have I done?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Some Notes:  
> 1) I found very little information regarding Mirial as a planet, other than it's cold and mostly covered in desert landscapes.  
> 2) The prayer Barriss recalls is based off the mantra Chirrut recites in Rogue One.  
> 3) Warlo is not a smart man.  
> 4) The "architecturally challenged" comment is applicable to almost every Imperial base seen in the entire franchise.


	7. The Malastare Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which survivors are found, and a gambit is attempted.

_“We live for the dead. We die for the living. So it is.”_

_\- A Mirialan Funeral Prayer_

**Malastare, 19 BBY**

“What have I done?” Barriss asked again, “What have I done?”

_I killed them. I killed them all. I always kill them. It’s what I do best._

Ahsoka shut the speeder down. She looked up and down at the deserted city outskirts and shook her head in a mixture of confusion and disgust. Fires burned. Rain fell. Smoke billowed. But there was not a person in sight.

“There’s no-one here. Can you sense anything?” Ahsoka turned to Barriss.

“What have I done?” Barriss asked it like the city itself would answer, “Oh, Ahsoka, what have I done?”

“You didn’t do this.” Ahsoka reached out and touched Barriss’ shoulder. “The Empire did this.”

Barriss edged away. “Don’t touch me.”

_I don’t deserve it._

_I never did deserve it._

“You didn’t do this.” Ahsoka drew her hand back. “You know that you didn’t.”

_Do I? Do I really?_

_Do I know anything?_

“Stay here,” Ahsoka said as she hopped out of the speeder, “I’ll be right back.”

“No, I’m coming with you.” Barriss climbed out unsteadily. “I have to see it.”

Ahsoka opened her mouth to protest, but Barriss just limped past her and examined the wreckage.

_They have no mercy. They’re like animals._

A low, raspy cough came from the doorway of a soot-stained café.

“Someone’s alive!” Barriss yelled.

She ran to the door and nearly tripped over her own feet. A Dug covered in ash looked up at Barriss with weary eyes.

“Oh. It’s you. The one from the square,” she said. “About time you’d show up.”

Barriss knelt down and searched her for any wounds. “What happened here?”

The Dug coughed again, and she pounded herself on the chest to ease her lungs. “The Empire, that’s what. Soon as they hauled you away they started tearing the whole-” she coughed again, “-town apart looking for some Togruta.”

Ahsoka rushed into the room. “Are you alright?”

_Ah, right on cue._

The Dug looked Ahsoka up and down with a frown. “Figures. Anyway, when they didn’t find her, the stormtroopers started rounding everybody up to arrest them for “conspiracy to pervert public order”. That didn’t sit well with a lot of folks. A few idiots drew blasters. Here we are.”

Ahsoka took a canteen from her belt and offered it to the Dug. She took it and drained all of it in one long motion.

_What have I done?_

“Where is everybody else?” Ahsoka waved her arms. “The whole town’s deserted.”

“Yep. A few spacers managed to get to their ships before the Imps locked down the hangar. Everybody else is probably dead or holed up in the casino. Won’t be long before the plastic boys find the place and burn it to the ground.”

Barriss closed her eyes and tried to sense the survivors through the Force. That many scared, desperate beings all packed into one building would be easy to find.

_Ah, there!_

“She’s right,” Barriss said. “They’re at the casino, or close to it, at least. I can’t be sure how many are there, but it’s a lot, at least half the town”

Ahsoka nodded. “We have to help them.”

“You’re kidding me.” The Dug laughed weakly. “You two up against the rest of the garrison? You’d have to be Jedi to pull that one off!”

Barriss and Ahsoka exchanged glances and apologetic smiles.

The Dug gasped. “Damn it.”

Barriss helped the Dug to her feet. “Are you hurt?”

“Nah, I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s you two that should be worried. If I were you, I’d get off Malastare as fast as possible.”

Ahsoka shook her head. “That’s not an option anymore. We have to help.”

The Dug laughed. “You two have _helped_ enough, haven’t you? Leave before you get somebody else killed.”

And on that note, the Dug limped away into the rain.

Barriss trudged back to the speeder with her eyes to the ground.

_She’s right. All I do is get people killed._

“She’s wrong. We can help,” Ahsoka said, running ahead of Barriss. “We have to help.”

“Ahsoka, we don’t stand a chance against the rest of the garrison, not when we’re like this. All we’ll do is get people hurt. We just need to get away.”

Barriss climbed into the speeder and stared ahead.

Ahsoka slammed her hands on the hood of the speeder. “Fine! Let’s say you’re right! All of this is your fault!”

_What?_

Barriss felt her mouth move silently. “E-excuse me?” she managed to ask.

Ahsoka pointed at Barriss accusingly, her face was twisted with anger. “It’s all your fault! All of it!” She gestured at the burning buildings. “Every single blaster burn is on your head!”

The words hit her like punches.

“How could you say th-”

“I’m not finished!” Ahsoka pointed at Barriss again. “Let’s say every single thing wrong on this _fucking_ world happened all because you decided to play at being a hero! What are you going to do about it?”

“What?” Barriss blinked.

“What are you going to do about it!?” Ahsoka was nearly yelling. “Are you going to fix the problem, or are you just going to try to run away!?”

Barriss looked down at floor and frowned.

_Here I am, running away as always._

_Time to stop running._

“I’m going to fix it, of course,” Barriss said to her shoes.

“What was that?”

“I’m going to fix it,” she said again, louder.

“I can’t hear you!”

“I’m going to fix it!” Barriss shouted.

Ahsoka smiled. “Yes, we are.”

***

It wasn’t hard to get back to the casino, all things considered. Wrecked speeders and fallen lampposts blocked the more narrow streets, and the occasional corpse served as somber reminders of what had occurred.

_They’re out for blood._

This was going to be terribly, terribly dangerous.

_Just another day in the life of Ahsoka Tano, professional troublemaker._

It was surprisingly easy to avoid the Imperials on the way.

_Just listen for the sounds of blasters, then go in the opposite direction._

Soon, after a few minutes of ducking down rain slick alleyways and running up thoroughfares, Ahsoka and Barriss found themselves at the rear entrance of the casino.

Barriss placed a hand on the door and found it to be locked. “The survivors must have barricaded themselves in, otherwise the stormtroopers would already have cleared it out.”

“They’re just waiting for reinforcements. They’ve already lost too many men today.”

_And no amount of barricades will stop them._

“So how do we get in?” Barriss asked. “I think I saw a fire escape on the building next door. We could climb up there and jump to the rooftop. Then we could slide into the ventilation shafts and-”

Ahsoka slashed the door twice with her lightsaber, carving a glowing cross into the thin metal. A firm kick sent the splintered remains flying inside.

“Or we could do that.” Ahsoka stepped through the threshold.

“Or we could do that,” Barriss echoed.

The room was dark, dank and filled with the scent of rotting vegetables and stagnant water.

_Garbage. Lovely. This life is so glamorous sometimes, it makes me want to cry._

“Freeze!” someone shouted with an impressive lack of intimidation. “I’ll blow your heads off!”

Ahsoka looked to the voice, and found a Rodian with a mangled antenna aiming a cheap blaster pistol at her leg.

_He looks familiar._

“You, uh, should probably aim that a little higher if you want to do that,” she said. “Also, this leg’s kinda bad already, so I’d appreciate it if you shot the other one.”

The Rodian blinked and readjusted his aim to the center of her chest. “You think I’m playing? You wanna bet I won’t do it?”

_Yep. You’re definitely someone I saw from yesterday._

Ahsoka gestured to the doors leading deeper into the building. “I mean, yeah? This is a casino, right?”

Barriss stepped through the hole and sighed. “I really wish you’d save the sass until _after_ you’re being threatened.”

_How dare you._

“You love my sass.”

“I most certainly do not.”

“Yes, you do! You told me yourself on-”

A blaster bolt sailed towards Ahsoka. She deflected it effortlessly, destroying a small trash bag in the process.

“You’re a Jedi!” the Rodian shouted.

_How amazingly observant._

“I was. And I’d really rather not have to do that again, friend.”

“I ain’t yo-”

“I know.” Ahsoka pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand. “By the Force, we’re here to save you.”

The Rodian lowered his blaster. “What? Me?”

“Yes, you. And everyone else, too.” Ahsoka pointed her lightsaber at him. “So why don’t you just put down that blaster before I put it down for you?”

The Rodian stared at the lightsaber for a long while. Ahsoka could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

“Alright. Come with me,” he said after lowering his weapon. “You should see everybody.”

Ahsoka turned off her lightsaber and gestured for Barriss to come inside.

_This is going to be fun._

It wasn’t.

“It’s them!” someone shouted as soon as they entered the casino’s main room.

At least a hundred and twenty beings were packed into the place. Some had makeshift bandages wrapped around their arms or legs. At least five had strips of cloth covering their eyes. All of them had the same look of resigned fear on their faces.

A Nikto drew a pair of blaster pistols. “Why are _you_ here?”

Barriss raised her hands in surrender. “We’re here to help you.”

The Rodian pointed at the Nikto. “They’re Jedi, Clas, it’s not worth it.”

“Jedi? Fucking figures. We’ve had enough of your help!”

“If we can take them down, we can turn them into Warlo,” a Toydarian said. “He’ll call off the manhunt then!”

“That would be difficult. He’s dead,” Ahsoka announced.

Clas blinked. “You... you killed him?”

The Rodian swore under his breath. The crowd swore above their breath.

“Oh, we’re dead,” someone said. “We are so, so dead.”

“No, you’re not,” Ahsoka replied. “We’ve gotten you into this. We’re going to get you out of it.”

Clas scratched his head with the barrel of his blaster. “How are you going to do that? You going to kill every stormtrooper until there’s none left?”

_When you say it like that, it sounds pretty dumb._

“No,” Barriss stepped forward. “we just need to make it possible for you all to make it to your ships. Where are the rest of the townspeople?”

“Most of ‘em made it out before lockdown. They’re either in space or heading towards another city on Malastare,” a Dug answered.

“The rest are dead or getting gunned down on the other side of town,” a Human interjected, “a few idiots thought they’d be able to just blast their way out of here on their way to the hangar.”

_That would explain the blaster noise._

“Alright, we need to think about this logically,” Barriss said. “The hangar is on the other side of town, right? We need to draw the attention of the stormtroopers away from there, then we can just slip out.”

“What about the garrison’s ships?” someone asked from the back of the crowd. “They’d shoot us down in seconds.”

“All the garrison’s been dispatched here to search for, uh, me.” Ahsoka raised her hand. “We’d be long gone before they would be able to get to their ships.”

_I hope._

Clas's fingers tightened on the triggers of his blasters. “Maybe we could turn you in, anyway. The Empire would let us go. Hell, they might even give us a reward for it!”

Several members of the crowd drew various weapons in preparation.

Ahsoka took a deep breath breath and drew her lightsabers.

“Wait!” Barriss ran in between Ahsoka and the crowd. “Don’t do this!”

“Why not?” Clas raised his pistols.

“Barriss, get to cover,” Ahsoka whispered. “Please.”

“The Empire already considers you dangerous criminals,” Barriss said, “they won’t let you go just because you shot us!”

The armed members of the crowd seemed to waver.

“All of this has happened because of my actions,” Barriss continued. “Give me a chance to make up for it. If it comes down to it, I’ll give myself over to the Empire in order to buy you time.”

_She’s brave. Far braver than anyone ever gave her credit for._

“Why should we believe you?” a Human woman asked. “I’ve got three kids waiting for me at home, and I’m not going to take a chance on you two skipping out on us.”

“We could have skipped out on you.” Ahsoka put her lightsabers away. “But we’re here instead.”

Barriss nodded. “I’ve already shown you that I’m willing to sacrifice myself. Let me try to make this right. Please.”

The armed members of the crowd gradually began to holster their weapons until Clas and the Rodian were the only two still holding any.

“You really want to help us?” Clas asked.

Ahsoka and Barriss nodded.

“Well, I don’t see a better option.” Clas turned to the others. “I’m not your leader. Who wants to let the Jedi help us?”

“This is fucking stupid,” someone said with a snort.

“They’re going to get us killed!” someone else stated.

“No way!” A Duros slammed his hand on the dice table.

“There’s a walker outside!” an Aqualish by the front windows yelled.

_What!?_

A second went by as everyone processed this development.

“Get down!” Clas screamed as he dove behind a row of slot machines.

A familiar sound - the sound of heavy artillery firing - drowned out all other noise. A chandelier smashed a bar stool to splinters as it fell, walls rattled, dust and small pieces of debris drifted down, and the lights flickered erratically as the building threatened to tear itself apart.

Barriss tackled Ahsoka over a table, and the two landed in a heap next to a broken ashtray.

“Ow.” Ahsoka rubbed at her head.

“Sorry.” Barriss pressed herself closer to Ahsoka’s chest.

The whole world seemed silent save for the echo of the blast and a few panicked whimpers from the survivors.

Clas poked his head out and looked about wildly. “Was that a warning shot?”

_Must be. They could have leveled this whole building by now._

Ahsoka felt Barriss’ elbow digging into her side.

_Ah._

“You can get off of me,” Ahsoka said.

“Oh, yes. Sorry.” Barriss climbed off of her and offered a hand. Ahsoka took it and turned her gaze to the front of the casino.

_A few broken windows, nothing too serious._

_Oh, and an AT-TE. That could be a little problematic._

The eponymous walker was further down the street. It’s mechanical feet moved at a rapid pace, and trails of steam drifted away from the barrel of the main cannon.

“Why is it always us?” Ahsoka asked. “Why can’t we ever have one normal day?”

Barriss stepped beside Ahsoka and shrugged. “You’re the one that said ‘there’s always a next time’.”

_Yeah, but I didn’t actually think I was going to be right this soon._

“Attention!” a clone’s voice boomed from the walker. “All inhabitants of Zalasbara are to immediately surrender themselves to Imperial custody or face lethal force! You have fifteen minutes to comply!”

A group of twenty stormtroopers exited the AT-TE and began to assume a defensive formation around it. Several of them had blaster burns on various pieces of their armor. One trooper in particular was missing his helmet, and wore a bandage wrapped tightly around his chest. His steps were slow and pained, but even from her position near the back of the building, Ahsoka could see the anger on his face.

_Hello again, captain. You’re a tough one._

“Ah, shit,” Clas said. “Shit, shit, blast, damn, fuck, blast.” He paused for a moment and turned to the Rodian. “I know I know more swears than _that,_ what am I forgetting?”

“Sithspit,” the Rodian offered, “uh, spast? Fierfek?”

“Oh, yeah. Thanks.” Clas turned back to the walker. “Sithspit, spast, fierfek.”

“I don’t think swearing at them is going to make them go away.” Ahsoka interjected.

“We could probably take them!” a Human hiding under a table said. “We outnumber them! A lot of us are armed!”

“That’s an AT-TE,” Barriss shook her head, “its armor is rated for starship hulls. It can seal itself in complete vacuum for more than twenty hours. Its cannon can punch a hole through unshielded capital ships. It’s virtually immune to small arms fire.”

“So...” the Human looked at the ceiling, “...what you’re saying is?”

“We have a better chance digging a hole through the planet’s core than shooting that thing down.” Ahsoka said to the Human. Then she turned to Barriss, “My lightsabers would do the trick. If I got close enough I could slice right through the driver’s compartment.”

Barriss looked at the walker for a moment, “You could do that. But by the time you made it to the walker they would have already fired two shots. More than enough to kill you or everyone behind you.”

Clas glanced over his shoulder at the stormtroopers. “You two seem like you’re alright, but I’d rather not get blown up so you can stab some more people.”

_Fair enough._

“Well we can’t just sit here and do nothing.” Ahsoka stretched her arms. “They won’t wait too long before they bring the whole building down.”

“What do you suggest, then?” Clas sat back down against his makeshift barricade. “I say it’s never too late to shoot our way out.”

“That’s just stupid.” The Toydarian flapped his wings angrily. “We need to give up!”

“I say we get a few people up on the roof and snipe ‘em.” The Rodian mimed holding a rifle.

Ahsoka propped herself up against a table as the bickering continued. Barriss sat down next to her and stared at the ground.

“Can you think of anything?” Ahsoka asked.

“Nothing that doesn’t end with half the people here getting killed.” She looked at Ahsoka. “I wasn’t lying when I said I’d turn myself in. I’ll do it.”

“I know you would. That’s what scares me. Don’t.”

She hoped the crack in her voice was just imaginary.

_Please._

“Okay.” Barriss looked over at the rest of the survivors. “But we need to think of something.”

_We can’t sneak out the back, they’d spot us before we could get everyone out._

_We can’t fight them. Too many innocents would die because of us._

_We can’t give up. They’d shoot us all. Or make us wish that they had._

_We’d need to take out the walker immediately, and leave an opening to take out the remaining troops._

_Think!_

“The speeder!” Ahsoka said with a laugh.

Barriss laughed as well, despite everything. “That speeder is meant to hold five people! Maybe six if you squeeze in tightly!”

“No, that’s not what I meant! If we can pack some explosives into it and overload the engines-”

Barriss’ eyes widened. “The impact of the speeder combined with the explosives would be enough to destroy the underbelly! A chain reaction could make the entire thing scrap metal!”

Ahsoka jumped to her feet. “Do any of you have thermal detonators?”

The chatter of the room died down as the Rodian spoke first. “I have one.”

“I have two,” a Bothan offered.

“I’ve got one,” the Human female said.

“I’ve got eight in my bag.” Clas raised his hand.

Everyone’s heads swiveled towards him.

“I, uh, like to be prepared?” He scratched the back of his head. "We have no launchers or anything like that. There’s no way we could throw them that far and that accurately!”

Ahsoka and Barriss smiled, and then explained the plan.

The reaction they received was one of curiously strong optimism and cynical disbelief.

“Well, does anyone have any better ideas?” Clas asked the crowd. “Anyone at all? No?” He turned back to Ahsoka. “Well, looks like you’ll get to save us after all.”

The next minute was spent gathering thermal detonators and other explosives in a large rucksack that belonged to one of the survivors. It was an impressive amount of ordnance, all things considered.

_I think some of the units deployed in the Outer Rim had less than this!_

“The timing will have to be good,” Ahsoka said as she examined the weapons. “If they spot the speeder too soon they’ll try to shoot it down.”

“And with the engine overloaded, they might not even need a direct hit to blow it up,” Barriss noted. “Someone will need to distract them.”

“I can do that.” Ahsoka closed the bag. “The captain over there and I have a little history. I’m sure I can keep him and his men focused on me long enough for the speeder to make the run.”

“Then I’ll drive it,” Barriss said.

_Sithspit!_

“I take it back.” Ahsoka threw the bag onto her shoulders. “I’ll drive it.”

Barriss cocked an eyebrow. “You just said that you’d be able to distract them.”

_That was before I thought about you getting blown up._

“I did. Now I’m saying that I’m going to drive it.” Ahsoka pointed towards the walker. “I’m sure you can handle this.”

Ahsoka turned to walk out the back, only to be stopped by a hand on her wrist.

“I’m going to drive the speeder,” Barriss said as she pulled again. “That’s final.”

“I’m not letting you get sh-”

“I am not letting _you_ put yourself in danger again on my behalf. Give me the detonators.”

_There’s that fire in her eyes again._

_She’s serious._

_She’s always so serious, and I like it._

_Damn it._

“Fine.” Ahsoka shoved the bag into Barriss’ arms. “You can be a real pain, you know that?”

“I do. Make sure they’re ready to act when the speeder blows.”

Ahsoka looked back at the group of men and women. Some were polishing their blasters. A few were exchanging dark, bawdy jokes with each other. Others moved their lips in silent prayer as they waited for what was to come.

She looked back to Barriss. “I will. If you die, I’ll be really, really disappointed with you.”

“Disappointed enough to haunt me in the afterlife?”

“Worse. I’ll make sure Luminara hears about what I found in your diary when we traveling back to Coruscant that one day.”

Barriss’ cheeks flushed. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would. I might even describe the drawings!” Ahsoka looked back at the walker and her face grew grim. “You should get going. Good luck.”

Barriss nodded and stepped towards the door. “Good luck.”

And like that, she was gone.

Ahsoka whistled, and the motley crew looked up at her. “Everyone who wants to die, raise a hand!”

No-one moved a muscle. Clas laughed.

“Everyone who has a blaster and knows how to use it, raise a hand!”

Thirty-six beings raised their hands.

“That’s what I thought! Here’s the plan...”

***

Barriss yelped as the wires in her hands sparked.

_“Your standard speeder engine can be modified in several ways,” the engineering instructor droned on. Most of the younglings were trying their best to stay awake. Barriss was listening to every word._

“Come on, come on,” she muttered as the wires sparked again and again.

_“A simple change to the power couplings can cause a dangerous influx of energy in most military grade configurations, as well as many different civilian class types.” The instructor drew a diagram on the board. “Usually this is extremely dangerous, both to the operator of the speeder and bystanders. It is for this reason you will be taught how to avoid making the same mistakes.”_

Barriss touched the wires again just as she realized that she probably should not be doing something like this with wet hands.

“Ah!”

Electricity shot through her arms, causing the wires to drop from her hands. Barriss hissed through her teeth and stared at the speeder with derision.

_“Of course, as younglings, it will be quite some time before you will ever be in a situation such as the one I just described.” The instructor laughed a little as he saw Barriss jotting down every word he said._

Barriss grabbed the wires and touched them together again. She was shocked once more.

_“Barriss, I commend you for studying,” Master Luminara said as Barriss flipped through a holobook on Hutt customs, “but I fail to see how this will help you with pirates.”_

Barriss repeated the action, despite the growing numbness in her fingertips.

_“Uh, sir,” the clone captain said with amusement as Barriss memorized every detail of the Geonosis tunnel networks, “we, uh, have maps for a reason!”_

Electricity shot through her once more, and Barriss grit her teeth in annoyance and pain.

_“Barriss certainly has an eye for detail, doesn’t she?” Anakin smiled as Barriss pointed out the various flaws with the different pieces of artillery being deployed below them._

“Come on, you bastard.” Barriss grabbed the wires again and prepared to ram them together.

_“She likes to be prepared,” Ahsoka replied with a laugh._

The engines roared with more power than they most likely ever had. A few flames shot out the back of the speeder.

_Be prepared._

_Words to live by._

_Words to die by._

Barriss smiled in triumph. “Thank you.”

She opened the bag of explosives and examined them.

_The AT-TE has several structural failings. The underbelly, in particular, is very vulnerable to explosive damage of any kind. For this reason, the AT-TE is most effective in a support role at a distance from the main fight. They operate best in large numbers._

The bag contained enough thermal detonators and detonation packs to reduce a small building to ash and rubble.

_The walker will be completely annihilated._

_And all I have to do is not get blown up with it._

_Or break my neck jumping out of the thing._

Barriss placed the explosives all around the vehicle. She shoved a few in the storage compartment. Several more went under the maintenance hood. Three were placed near the repulsors. The largest detonation pack she mounted on the front. The rest she just left in the bag on top of the front passenger seat.

_This should work._

_This_ has _to work._

Barriss sat down at controls and powered the speeder up.

_This is terribly, terribly stupid._

I _am terribly, terribly stupid._

It was funny, in a way. Ahsoka had gone through all the trouble of rescuing Barriss, and she had returned the favor by immediately throwing herself at the nearest opportunity to get herself killed.

_She deserves someone better. Someone less suicidally inclined._

Barriss checked the explosives again, and looked ahead.

_“I am one with the Force. The Force is one with me.”_

Barriss floored the speeder, and shot down the road.

***

“Hold your fire!” Captain Pilo yelled as loudly as he could manage given his injured state. “Let’s see what this is!”

The AT-TE and his men had been prepared to decimate the scattered group of survivors and criminals. He didn’t enjoy this sort of mission, but he’d be damned if he was going to let a pack of murderers and insurrectionists fly away from him.

_Besides, we have Jedi to find._

Pilo winced as his men kept their aim up.

_Another inch higher and I’d be a dead man, like Warlo._

_Good riddance._

He didn’t have time for sadistic sycophants more concerned with personal advancement than maintaining order. Pilo didn’t enjoy killing civilians or rounding up fleeing criminals, but Pilo was a soldier. Good soldiers follow orders.

_And I am not a bad soldier._

Someone hiding behind a makeshift barricade was waving a white strip of cloth with desperate speed. The message was clear.

_Surrender after all. Smart._

“Come on out!” Pilo ordered. “You won’t be harmed!”

He regretted his words as soon as the flag-bearer revealed herself. It was the Togruta Jedi that had nearly killed him earlier at the garrison.

“Steady, men! Be ready to fire at my command!”

The girl walked outside of the casino with the flag still in her hands.

“We surrender!” She waved the flag at him. “Don’t shoot!”

_Typical Jedi, always the hero._

“If she reaches for her lightsabers, kill them all!” Pilo took a blaster pistol from his side. “I want no mistakes!”

“Please, don’t shoot!” the girl pleaded again. “There are women and children inside!”

One of Pilo’s men lowered his blaster and turned to look at him.

“Sir,” the trooper said, “I don’t want to kill any children.”

_I know._

“I know. I don’t either. But we’ve lost enough brothers today, and I won’t be risking your lives.”

The trooper raised his rifle again.

Pilo wiped rain from his brow and frowned.

_This is almost as bad as back home._

“Why are you giving up, Jedi?” He aimed his pistol at the girl. “Where is the other traitor?”

The girl looked like she was about to cry. “She injured herself when she jumped out the window at the garrison. She hasn’t woken up since.”

_A shame. I’m sure the intelligence services on Coruscant would have loved to have talked to her._

But at the end of the day, the Empire preferred its Jedi dead.

“I need you to drop your weapons, now!” Pilo commanded.

“I thought you said you didn’t want me to reach for them at all?”

“You know what I mean!” He kept his aim steady. “If you so much as breathe funny my men will kill you all!”

The girl lowered the flag so that it touched the ground, but she kept a firm grip on it. “I’ll do that if you promise safe passage for these civilians!”

“The civilians are guilty of resisting arrest and attempting to incite rebellion! They will not be leaving!”

The girl dropped the flag in a puddle. “I guess I won’t be leaving, either.”

Pilo nodded and the gunner charged the cannon.

A shrill scream came from inside the casino, and the girl waved her hands in newfound desperation.

“Wait, wait!” She knelt to the ground. “I’ll go with you! Just don’t shoot, please!”

_Oh, damn it all._

“Stun her,” Pilo commanded. “And make sure you don’t kill anyone you don’t have to.”

A sound not entirely dissimilar to that of a speeder grew loud.

Pilo turned his head towards the sound.

A speeder loaded with what looked like primed explosives was barreling towards him and the walker at an incredible speed.

_Fierfek._

“Take it down, now!”

Pilo and his men started firing their blasters as quickly as they could, but their shots just barely missed. Whoever was driving it had to have Jedi reflexes.

The girl turned away from Pilo and dove to the ground.

_Oh. Of course._

A shot from the cannon landed right next to the speeder, and shards of rock flew about. Even so, it was now less than seventy feet away.

_Two seconds, maybe four._

“Get down!” Pilo grabbed one of his men by the shoulders and drove him into the mud.

The driver of the speeder bailed, and the whole world was transformed into a ball of fire.

***

The explosion was deafening. The flash was blinding.

When Ahsoka’s vision cleared, the AT-TE was gone. In it’s place was a smoking, flaming shell of twisted metal.

Twelve of the troopers died with the walker. The rest fell in the next minute as the survivors unleashed a hail of blaster bolts in their direction.

But Ahsoka didn’t pay attention to any of that.

Instead, she was sprinting haphazardly towards the body that lay on the side of the road.

_Please be alright, please be alright, please be alright._

“Barriss!” she yelled as she neared her. “Barriss, get up!”

No response.

_Please be alright, please be alright, please be alright._

Barriss was lying face down in the dirt with her arms and legs spread wildly.

_No, no, no, no, no._

“Barriss!”

Ahsoka grabbed Barriss’ shoulder and flipped her over onto her back.

_No, no, no, no, no, nononononononono._

Ahsoka shook Barriss. The panic welling up inside of her chest was so strong it felt like a dam that was about to burst.

“Don’t you dare die on me!”

_Nonononononononono._

Barriss coughed heavily, and her blue eyes fluttered open. “Did it work?”

Her hair was disheveled. Her clothes were singed and torn. Her face was streaked with mud, soot and just a little bit of blood. But in that moment, Barriss was the most beautiful woman Ahsoka had ever seen.

“Y-yeah, it worked.” Ahsoka’s lungs started to work again. She hugged Barriss tightly and laughed. “If you ever do something this stupid ever again, I won’t help you!”

“You’re lying,” Barriss said with a weak chuckle.

“I am. Can you walk?”

“Blast it, Ahsoka, I only almost blew myself up! It’s not like anything serious happened.”

“That was supposed to be my line!”

The two walked back to the casino with Barriss leaning on Ahsoka’s shoulder all the while.

“I’ll be damned!” Clas tucked his blasters under his arm. “You did it! You actually did it!”

“We were Jedi, Clas,” Ahsoka said casually.

“It’s what we do,” Barriss finished.

“Holy mother of all the gods in the galaxy!” Clas looked at them like they were angels. “I don’t know how any of us can ever repay you!”

_A free trip somewhere warm and dry would be nice._

“Let’s just say we’re even for getting you involved in this in the first place.” Ahsoka offered a hand.

Clas shook it enthusiastically, and then proceeded to shake Barriss' as well. “You two are what I always heard Jedi were supposed to be like! None of us will ever forget this, I promise.”

Barriss suddenly looked melancholic.

Clas broke the handshake and turned to the survivors. “Come on, everybody, let’s get out while we still can!”

***

**Somewhere In the Mid Rim**

“Ow, ow, ow.” Barriss moaned as she laid down on the blankets. “By the Force, my back feels like it’s going to explode!”

_That’s a little apt._

Ahsoka took a seat next to Barriss. “I think I might have a theory on why that is.”

“I think I could guess what it is.” Barriss stretched out fully. “Did we do the right thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“In the end, did we make the right choice?”

Ahsoka thought of all the people that would be dead were it not for the two of them.

_That is worth more than any price._

“Yes. I think we did.”

“Good.”

The two lapsed into silence for a while. Barriss continued to adjust her position while Ahsoka simply closed her eyes in gratitude for the quiet.

“I never properly thanked you for rescuing me,” Barriss said, promptless. “Thank you.”

_For you, I’d do a lot more than that._

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Ahsoka laid down next to Barriss. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“I’m sorry,” Barriss said.

“For what?”

“For almost blowing myself up. For forcing you to rescue me. For putting all those people in danger.” Her voice was shaky, and Ahsoka didn’t think it was because she was tired. “And I’m sorry for the Temple.”

Ahsoka thought of the expression on Anakin’s face when she closed his hand around her beads.

_He looked like I had just died again._

_Maybe I did, in a way._

Ahsoka thought of all the good times she and Barriss had together. Long nights spent on campaign. Early morning exercises. Research projects in the archives. Trading stories about their Masters as they wandered the Temple halls. Even the occasional quiet confession of some personal fear as they sipped tea.

Then she remembered the bad times. Those final days at the Temple, when their world was flipped upside down.

_I want to say it’s alright. I really do._

_But I don’t know if I can._

“Ahsoka?” Barriss’ voice snapped her back to the present.

Ahsoka turned away from Barriss. “I think it’s time we got some rest.”

Barriss seemed startled by the sudden change in topic, but the surprise was short lived. “Okay. Can you get the light?”

“I just laid down!”

“If only we had some sort of telekinetic ability that could hit switches from across the room.”

Ahsoka flicked her wrist and the lights shut off. “I missed this.”

_I missed you._

“So did I.”

Ahsoka closed her eyes and fell asleep in short order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Some Notes:  
> 1) The AT-TE is especially vulnerable from explosive damage to its underside, a vulnerability that Ahsoka and Barriss would have been very well aware of.  
> 2) This whole chapter may have been inspired by a sleep-deprivation fueled mental image of Barriss ramming an AT-TE with a speeder. It may not have. Who knows the truth?


	8. You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone is a hot mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a shortish update to round out the whole Malastare arc.  
> Note: This chapter deals with themes such as suicide/death ideation that may be upsetting to some people.

_“Take comfort where you can. Our universe can be a cold and uncaring one, but it can also be forgiving.”_

_\- Excerpt from a text attributed to a Celestial author, written approximately 56,700 BBY, translated into Basic 3,567 BBY_

**Somewhere in the Mid Rim, 19 BBY**

In her dreams, Ahsoka did everything right.

She never led any of the clones under her command to their deaths. She never hesitated or acted rashly. Flawless victories were executed and amazing rescues were performed. She was brave and wise, funny and charming, tactically brilliant and willing to listen to others. Everything always ended as it should have.

In her dreams, the bomb never went off at the Temple. Instead, Ahsoka _knew_ that something was wrong, and she managed to stop the poor man before he even made it through the front gate.

In her dreams, she never fought Barriss. Instead, she put away her lightsabers and she talked, for hours if necessary. Barriss listened, and nobody was framed or cast out.

In her dreams, she never ran away from Anakin. She never left him to di- no, she shouldn’t think that, she can’t be sure. He could be out there, somewhere.

In her dreams, she stayed a member of the Order, and she was made a Knight for her efforts in the war. The three of them - Ahsoka, Anakin and Obi-Wan - gallivanted across the galaxy righting wrongs and putting away bad people, like the heroes of old.

In her dreams, no-one ever died. Palpatine was stopped at the last possible moment by the daring Anakin Skywalker and the courageous, not to mention devastatingly good looking, Ahsoka Tano. Everything made sense again! All the strange ripples in the Force, all the suspiciously informed Separatist plots, every machination designed to undermine the Republic. All the pieces fell into place, and the Sith were vanquished once and for all. The Jedi lived on as the protectors of the galaxy, and a new era of peace dawned as the Separatists were utterly annihilated.

In her dreams, she was happy.

Ahsoka _hated_ her dreams. They stung far worse than reality ever could. At least when the occasional nightmare showed itself, she could comfort herself with the knowledge that the terrible visions could never have been a possibility.

In her dreams, though, she saw what could have - no, what _should_ have been, if only she was had been _better._

In her dreams, she heard their voices. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Plo, Rex, Cody, Luminara, Yoda, even Mace. They were always beaming, always proud of her.

It was horrible.

When she woke up, she was glad that she didn’t have to see their smiling faces anymore, despite how desperately she wanted to.

_Thank the Force._

She blinked the sleep away from her eyes and glanced at the display near the front of the ship.

_Still early in the standard morning._

Extremely early, really. The only people up at this hour were the sort of people that liked to joke about how time was just an illusion or a societal construct. Anakin had been particularly fond of the first one, to everyone’s chagrin.

_Might as well get something to drink._

She tried to sit up, but found something blocking her progress, namely, Barriss.

_Oh no, not again._

Yes, again.

Barriss was snuggled up with her head on Ahsoka’s chest and a hand on her stomach.

_At least it’s not my fault this time._

It wasn’t? Ahsoka had been the one to choose to sleep next to Barriss, not the other way around.

_Okay, maybe it’s my fault._

Unless Barriss had suddenly become a much heavier sleeper, any effort to move her would surely wake her up.

_Great. Just my luck._

Ahsoka glanced at the time again and she let out a low sigh.

_Damn it._

Barriss mumbled something incoherent, and she adjusted her position on Ahsoka before growing still once again.

_Maybe I should move her anyway. I could just play it off as an acci-_

Ahsoka glanced at Barriss’ face, and her own thoughts went silent for a moment. Barriss looked so relaxed, so peaceful. All the worry was gone for once.

_Then again, maybe I shouldn’t._

Ahsoka brushed a stray curl of hair off Barriss’ cheek with a gentle hand.

_She needs another scarf, I’ll have to get one when I have the chance._

She stayed like this for a minute or so, just watching Barriss sleep.

_She’s too hard on herself._

Was she? Barriss had killed people and ruined lives, Ahsoka’s included.

_That’s not fair. It had been my choice to leave the Order._

It had been Barriss’ choice to kill and frame.

But right now, Ahsoka didn’t see a murderer in front of her. She saw a scared, tired woman who seemed to want nothing more than to pay for what she had done.

Barriss mumbled again and snuggled up closer to Ahsoka with a small smile on her face.

_She’s pretty._

And intelligent, clever, compassionate, diligent, selfless, funny, and all the other qualities that Ahsoka loved.

_“You were my friend.”_

Ahsoka put her head back and stared at the ceiling.

Part of her was yelling - screaming, really - that something should be done. It wasn’t right, it was improper. She could practically hear Barriss struggling to form a flustered apology but _damn it, she didn’t care._

_We’ve been through too much to be bothered by this. I’ll live, she’ll live._

Ahsoka let her hand rest on Barriss’ head, and she looked out at the stars.

***

In her dreams, Barriss did everything wrong.

The simplest plans went to disaster. The men under her command paid for her mistakes with their lives while she offered apology after apology to the dead and dying. All of her preparations went to waste, every effort brought the Republic one step closer to failure. She was cowardly and foolish, stubborn and awkward, idiotic and brash. Nothing ended as it should have.

But she always lived, despite the odds.

In her dreams, the bomb went off at the Temple, but instead of killing a handful of engineers, soldiers and civilians, she killed a group of children and their elderly chaperone. She had the _audacity_ to stand at their vigil with a candle in her hand.

And she never died for it.

In her dreams, she fought Ahsoka with all her might. Sometimes she wounded Ahsoka, and the Council had her captured and executed in her weakened state. Sometimes she killed Ahsoka on the spot, and it felt as though years would pass as she just stared at her body.

But she always survived.

In her dreams, the Council never suspected her of any wrongdoing. She was made a Knight towards the end of the war, and she earned a reputation for throwing herself into battle after battle regardless of the risks.

Yet she never seemed to die.

In her dreams, the Republic fell with a whimper. The Jedi were so fragmented, and the Council was straying so close to the Dark, that Palpatine seemed to be doing the galaxy a favor when he had his firing squads gun them down.

But those same blasters never could seem to get her in their crosshairs.

In her dreams, everyone she ever loved and cared about - Luminara, Ahsoka, the clones under her command, her friends at the Temple, her teachers - all ended up dead because of her.

But she could never _just die._

Tonight, though, her dreams weren’t visions of failure and death. Tonight, they were little more than sensations as vague as they were pleasant. Soft pillows, warm blankets, an ocean breeze, laughter that sounded like a sweet song.

It was nice.

So nice that when she woke up with her head on Ahsoka’s chest it took her six heartbeats to realise that something was wrong.

_Oh no._

It was wrong. Inappropriate. Embarrassing. _Weak._

_Oh gods, no._

Part of her hoped that if she just closed her eyes it would all turn out to be a dream. That would be far less problematic.

Another part of her hoped that it wasn’t a dream at all.

_Ah, damn it._

Barriss reached for Ahsoka’s hand - to remove it, of course, anything else would be ridiculous - and she found out that Ahsoka was awake as well.

“Hello there,” Ahsoka said softly.

“Ah, hello?” Barriss responded as she sat up just a little too quickly. “I should go check the engine, you know how it’s been leaking lately!”

Nice segue.

_Oh, by the Force, I’ve really done it now._

Ahsoka sat up as well. “It’s alright, Barriss.”

“You can never be too sure with that old piece of junk!”

The smallest of grins graced Ahsoka’s face. “I wasn’t talking about the engine, Barriss.”

_Of course you weren’t. Don’t mind me, just being an idiot as always._

“Ah,” she ended up saying, “I didn’t mean to-”

“I know. No harm done.” Ahsoka put her arms around her knees. “Did you sleep alright? It’s still pretty early.”

“Did I - yes.”

“Good.”

Barriss stared out at the countless stars.

“Hey, are you alright?” Ahsoka asked. “You’ve been distracted since we left Malastare.”

And just like that, the images of death and failure flooded back into her mind as her temporary reprieve shattered.

_Should I tell her?_

Tell her about the dreams. The pain.

_Maybe she can help._

Probably not, but there was no shame in trying.

_I owe her that much._

Barriss kept her eyes on the stars. “Have you ever wondered if the galaxy would be better off without you?”

Ahsoka made a strange sound somewhere between a scoff and a gasp. “No, never.”

 _Of course_ you _haven’t._

“Why?” Ahsoka asked. “Have you?”

Barriss didn’t respond. She didn’t need to.

The silence was far louder than any number of words.

“Oh,” Ahsoka said simply, “I see.”

Barriss forced herself to continue to stare at the millions of little lights.

“How, uh, how long have you...” Ahsoka let the sentence die in the air.

Barriss didn’t need to think about that one at all.

“A few months after the war started,” Barriss said.

_There had been a skirmish on some nameless rock in the Outer Rim. “Strategically important for trade routes,” was the reason Barriss had been told._

_She had walked away from that battle perfectly fine, with only a scrape on her knee as proof that she hadn’t spent the day reading._

_A handful of the men she had been given command over had limped back with her._

_The Council commended her for the “ability to make difficult decisions.”_

_It didn’t make the clone that had lost his legs feel any better about his situation._

_It didn’t bring the dead back to life._

_It certainly didn’t help Barriss sleep at night._

_And that was just one battle out of dozens._

“I’m sorry.” Ahsoka’s voice was quiet, barely a whisper.

_You’re sorry!?_

“Why are you sorry? I ruined your life!” Anger bled into her fast and fierce. “All I do is hurt people, and you keep defending me? Why!?”

A flicker in the Force, one of pain, pulsed through the ship.

Barriss wasn’t sure who it had come from. She didn’t care.

“You didn’t ruin my life. I’m sorry because no-one should ever feel like that.” Ahsoka shook her head. “No-one.”

_Damn it all._

“I shouldn’t have told you that,” Barriss said. “It was stupid, pointless. Just forget I said anything.”

_Please._

“I’m glad you told me, it was important.”

“Why?”

“Because if this whole partnership thing we got going on is going to work, we can’t keep secrets from each other. Not like before.”

Barriss nodded.

_Fair enough._

“I wish I had been better, sometimes,” Ahsoka continued. “I wonder how many people would still be alive if I had just been smarter, faster, stronger. A lot of clones, for starters. Maybe even-” she paused for a moment, “-maybe even Anakin and Obi-Wan.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for that.” Barriss chose her words carefully. “Some things are outside of our control, and everyone makes mistakes.”

Ahsoka laughed bitterly. “I know, I know, I was about to say the same thing to you.”

Barriss turned away from the stars and found Ahsoka’s eyes filled with tears.

“I miss them, y’know? I thought it would start to get easier, but it still feels like... like...”

Barriss wondered if Luminara was still alive out there, somewhere.

_Probably not._

“It feels like it’s just happened.”

“Yeah.” Ahsoka looked at Barriss with a quiet intensity. “Why do you think the galaxy would be better off without you?”

Barriss decided that enough had been shared already. She had nothing left to lose.

_Well, maybe a little bit left to lose._

_There’s always a little bit left, somehow._

She had never really given it much thought, despite the countless hours she had spent in prison with nothing but her own thoughts for company. Yet the answer came quickly, as though it been sitting just beneath the surface of her mind and she had been too afraid to look at it.

“I hate myself,” she said to the floor. “I hate what I’ve done.”

Her voice seemed to echo inside the confines of the ship for an eternity. It felt surprisingly good, though, to put her feelings into words, to actually acknowledge them with someone else. It felt like vindication.

“I’m weak,” Barriss continued. “I’m always putting others in danger because of my actions, but I never pay for them myself. It’s not that I _want_ to die. I really don’t. It’s just-” her mouth moved wordlessly as she struggled to find the right way to phrase it, “-it’s just that I don’t know how to make up for everything.”

Ahsoka shook her head slowly. “You’re _not_ weak, Barriss. You’re strong. You look at yourself and you see a failure. I look at you and I see someone who’s been through more than anyone our age should ever go through.”

_All us Padawans have that in common._

_We were all just kids._

_Kids sent to fight and die for a war we didn’t even understand._

_How could they do that to us?_

“I’m glad you’re alive,” Ahsoka said. “Even after everything at the Temple, I was afraid they were going to kill you.” She shrugged apologetically. “I thought about going to the Council a couple of times to tell them to be merciful, but I couldn't bring myself to walk up those steps again.”

Barriss heard the words come out of mouth before she even thought of them. “You did?”

Ahsoka nodded. “I just ... I couldn’t go back. Not after what had happened.”

“I-”

“I know. You’re sorry.”

If it was meant to be reassuring, it certainly didn’t come across that way.

“You’re better than you think you are, Barriss,” Ahsoka said warmly. “Monsters don’t hate themselves because of what they’ve done. Trust me, we’ve seen enough of them during the war to know that. You think Grievous ever lost an hour of sleep over what he did?”

_Of course not._

“But that doesn’t erase what I’ve done.”

“No. It doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean you’re irredeemable or that you should die.” Ahsoka hugged her own legs tightly. “Your death won’t bring them back.”

“I know.”

“Alright.” Her eyes softened like melting ice. “If you ever think you need to talk about anything, I’m here. And if you ever think that you might do something dangerous, we can find help.”

“I know,” Barriss said. “I’m here for you too.”

_I swear I am._

“Blast, aren’t we just a couple of well adjusted individuals?” Ahsoka laughed without humor. “If the Masters could see us now!”

“Yes.” Barriss tried to laugh as well.

But she couldn’t.

Then she felt Ahsoka’s hand on her own.

“Hey, we’ll be okay,” Ahsoka said in a tone that sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than Barriss.

“How can you say that?”

“Because one of us has to be the optimist, and that sure as hell isn’t going to be you.”

Barriss really did laugh. “You’re impossible!”

“You’d be surprised by just how possible I am,” Ahsoka countered with a smile.

_I’m sure I would._

Barriss realised her cheeks were burning, and she withdrew her hand from Ahsoka’s.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you.”

There was silence, again, but it was a comfortable one.

“Hey,” Ahsoka said, pointing out to the vast field of stars, “do you know what constellation that is?”

“What?”

Ahsoka pointed more urgently. “That one, right there! The one that looks like a mynock!”

Barriss raised a brow, “Sorry, Ahsoka, I don’t have the _entire galactic star map_ memorized for your viewing pleasure.”

Ahsoka laughed again. It sounded like a song.

“Well, that’s a shame! All those hours at the Archives, wasted!”

_Even now, after everything we’ve said, she still finds a way to make me feel better._

_Amazing._

Barriss took a seat next to Ahsoka, and the pair spent the next half hour making up stories about the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Some Notes:  
> 1) Sometimes I remember that a lot of the Padawans fighting in the war were kids. This upsets me.  
> 2) This isn't the end of the two's mental issues, not by a long shot, but it's a start.


	9. Dogs of War

**Florrum, 19 BBY**

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t have my men kill you,” the pirate said over the rim of his cup.

“I’ll shoot you in the face before they can do that,” the clone countered.

Hondo Ohnaka’s mouth split into a wide grin. “Fair enough, captain, fair enough! What brings you to my little hole in the universe?”

Rex frowned as he lowered his pistol. “You know why I’m here.”

“I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage, captain. Now, before things get unfriendly again, I would like to know why you’re here.” Hondo narrowed his eyes. “You’re not trying to spy on me, are you?”

_For the love of-_

“Yes, pirate, I’m an Imperial spy, and I decided that the best way to spy on you was to walk in through the front door and put a blaster to your head.”

Hondo shrugged. “I’ve seen stupider plans. Hell, I’ve _done_ stupider plans. Please don’t make me ask again. Repetition makes my head hurt.”

“I want information.”

“And I want fifteen million credits, a harem of Twi’leks, a talking rancor, and alcohol that doesn’t cause a hangover. Alas, we all can’t get what we want.”

“I can make it worth your while.”

Hondo leaned forward with a chuckle. “How’s that?”

“I promise I won’t shoot you in the face if you give it to me.” Rex raised his pistol again.

The handful of pirates surrounding the two aimed their blasters at Rex.

_Steady now. Steady._

Hondo stared at Rex with an inscrutable expression. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Hondo waved his hands dismissively. The pirates lowered their blasters.

“Ah, you know what, captain? I think we could have been friends under different circumstances,” Hondo said with a melodramatic sigh. “What do you want to know?”

“I’ve been trying to get in contact with a commando named Gregor. As far as I can tell, he ended up here just after the Purge. You know anything about him?”

“There’ve been _a lot_ of refugees since Palpatine took power, captain. More than a few of them passed through Florrum at one point or another. I’m afraid they all blur together in my mind.”

_Yeah, right._

Rex placed his finger on the trigger. “You’re telling me that you don’t remember a clone? Seriously?”

Hondo placed his cup on the table. “There may have been one or two. Yes, yes, it’s all coming back to me, now! I remember because that was the same day I got cheated on a deal with an antiques dealer. Let me tell you, captain, next time someone comes to me claiming that they have a sword that was used by Marka Ragnos, I’ll make sure I get it examined by actual experts first!”

“I’ll do the same. The clone.”

“There _was_ a clone a few weeks back. Didn’t say his name, but he sounds like your commando. Certainly had the armor for it. And don’t get me started on the blaster!” He whistled. “Assault, artillery _and_ sniper? If I had twenty of those my men could go anywhere they wanted!”

“Great. Where is he?”

“He sold us some pieces of his armor - helmet, leg bits, you know -and bought a dinky little starfighter. May have mentioned something about hoofing it to Tatooine, or someplace like that.” Hondo stared at the pistol. “I’d really appreciate it if you put that away.”

“I’m sure you would. Are you sure he said Tatooine?”

Hondo shrugged again. “I really don’t remember, alright? Could have been Tatooine, could have been Kessel for all I know. It all happened so fast, all that good stuff.”

_And that’s the best answer I’m going to get from him._

Rex lowered his pistol and rose from his seat. “Much obliged, Hondo. Be seeing you.”

Hondo called after Rex as he began to walk away, “Wait! I wanted to ask you something.”

_Of course._

Rex kept his pistol unholstered as he turned back. “What?”

Hondo pointed at Rex in an almost accusatory manner. “You used to work with those Jedi, right? Obi-Wan and Skywalker and that girl, uh, what was her name?”

“Ahsoka.”

Hondo snapped his fingers. “Yes, yes! Are they, you know,” Hondo’s voice grew hopeful, “still alive?”

Rex put away his pistol and raised an eyebrow. “Why do you care?”

Hondo looked affronted. “Excuse you! I had some good times with those three!”

Rex blinked. “You kidnapped them and tried to kill them multiple times.”

Hondo smiled like a grandfather at a family reunion. “Like I said, good times! Are they alright?”

Rex thought of Ahsoka running away through the woods, he felt the energy drain from his body.

“Ahsoka should be fine. I haven’t heard anything about Obi-Wan or Anakin, though. I hope they’re alive, but... I really don’t know.”

_If Anakin was alive he’d find us, right? He’d do his best._

_He wouldn’t have abandoned us._

_He couldn’t have._

Hondo sank into his seat. “I was afraid you’d say that. I won’t lie, I’ve helped a Padawan or two since the Purge. It’s...” his gaze seemed to become unfocused, “...it’s not right, what they’ve done to those kids.”

Rex considered reminding Hondo of the youngling debacle, but he decided that such things were best left unsaid.

“Won’t be long until the Empire knocks down our door,” Hondo said, promptless. “I know I’m too much of an annoyance. These guys,” Hondo gestured to the pirates, “they know better than to stick around, too. My days of leading a crew are almost over.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Rex asked.

Hondo guffawed as he slapped his knee. “I’d tell my monkey-lizard, but he never responds.”

Rex shook his head and turned towards the door again.

“Hey, captain!” Hondo yelled after him. “For what it’s worth, good luck!”

“You too, pirate. We could all use some luck.”

Hondo chuckled wryly as Rex shut the door behind him. “Ain’t that the truth, clone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the phrase "a sword that was used by Marka Ragnos" made me have flashbacks to Jedi Academy.


	10. Old Time's Sake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ahsoka is a Troubled Gay.

_“This weapon is your life.”_

_\- Obi-Wan Kenobi, 22 BBY_

**Coruscant, 19 BBY**

Plo looked up from the window with some amount of concern.

_She’s late._

Not too late, just late enough to make Plo worry that something had happened.

_She is a strong one._

_She is fine, she will be fine._

“Do you want anything to eat, sir?” the droid asked as it walked by.

“No. This mask makes that rather difficult.” Plo looked up at the droid and smiled, though his rebreather hid the expression entirely. “Could you bring me some coffee, though?”

“Of course. How do you like it?”

“Black.”

“Very well.”

Plo gave the droid a credit. “Thank you.”

The droid shuffled away as Plo turned his gaze to the window.

_Rain. Somewhat rare on Coruscant, but not unwelcome._

He shouldn’t stay much longer. The Council would notice his absence from the next meeting, and if Master Windu discovered why Plo was sitting in a diner instead of helping to lead the Order, he would not approve.

_I can practically hear the lecture already._

Plo didn’t care, though. He was doing the right thing.

“Here you go, sir.” The droid placed a cup and a large carafe of coffee on the table. “Anything else?”

“Yes, actually. Could you get me a bantha steak?"

“As you wish.”

Plo checked the time again.

_Fifteen minutes._

_That’s unusual._

Plo turned his head towards the HoloNet display on the other side of the diner. Even though he couldn’t make out the audio it was obvious from the imagery that the story was about the latest protests at the Temple.

 _The poor people. If they only understood how_ hard _we try._

Plo didn’t blame them for lashing out at the Jedi. It was clear, even to him, that the noble Order was slipping from what it once stood for.

_But I will never abandon it. They need me._

It wasn’t arrogance or pride. It was a simple truth.

The droid brought the meal to Plo and took his credit without complaint.

_The coffee will grow cold if she does not hurry._

Here he was, a Master of the Jedi Order, fretting over a cup of coffee like a grandfather.

_I can see why the clones all find me endearing._

Plo closed his eyes and waited. He would feel her presence long before he could see her.

A few minutes ticked by before Plo felt the familiar flicker in the Force. Bold without being overbearing, fierce without being angry.

_Ah. She arrives._

Plo opened his eyes shortly after he heard the doors open to the rain. He found her standing a few feet away from him.

Plo raised a hand in greeting. “Hello, ‘Soka. I see you did receive my message after all.”

Ahsoka smiled in return, though there was a strained edge to it. “Hello, Master Plo. I’m sorry for being late.”

“It is no trouble.” He gestured at the table. “Will you join me?”

“Of course.” She slipped out of her wet cloak and moved into the booth.

Plo pushed the coffee and the plate towards her. “I trust you still enjoy these?”

“Oh, Master, you shouldn’t have.”

“Indulge me.”

“You’re the best, Master.” She started to tear into the steak as though she hadn’t eaten in days.

Plo winced as he noticed her sunken cheeks. It was very possible that she was going hungry.

“Are you alright? You seem famished.”

Ahsoka took a large swig from the coffee. “Don’t worry, Master, I’m not starving.”

“‘Soka...”

“I’m fine, really.” She wiped her face. “I just don’t always have three meals a day.”

Plo felt an ache in his heart. “Do you have money?”

“I have a job at a spaceport. It doesn’t pay much, but it’s enough.”

“Do you have a place to stay?”

“A small apartment by a factory. It smells bad and the roof leaks, but it has a bed.”

“Do you ha-”

“Master, please!” Her smile was wide enough to reveal her fangs. “I’m fine!”

“Forgive an old man for worrying.”

“You’re not _that_ old, Master. You’re only kind of ancient.”

Plo chuckled. “Thank you for the ringing endorsement!”

“Anytime.” She continued to eat and drink as though her life depended on it.

_Now or never._

“I have news about Barriss,” he said as Ahsoka poured herself a second cup.

Ahsoka flinched at the sound of her name. “Tell me.”

“Are you sure? We don’t have to talk about it.”

“I want to know. Please.”

“The Council has decided to let Barriss live, though it was a dangerously narrow decision.”

“Oh.” Her tone was neutral. The slight clench of her jaw revealed anger. The sag in her shoulders betrayed relief.

“She has been sentenced to a minimum of fifty years. It is unlikely that she will ever walk freely again.” Plo couldn’t hide his regret - he had known Barriss since she was a youngling.

_Another young life cut short._

Ahsoka swallowed a large gulp of coffee. “I see.”

“It is okay to be upset.”

“I’m not ups-”

“‘Soka, you might have been able to trick Anakin every now and again, but you never could lie to me.”

“Why would I be upset?” Ahsoka held her hands up as though Plo was ridiculous for even suggesting she may be unsettled. “She’s a murderer that tried to blame me for her crimes.” Ahsoka licked her lips. “She deserves her fate.”

“You don’t mean that. I know you cared for her.”

Ahsoka took a bite of her steak. “Of course I did. She was my friend.”

“She was more than that.”

Ahsoka’s eyes didn’t leave her plate. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do.”

Ahsoka edged closer to the window as though she wished she could just phase through it. A tinge of scarlet appeared on her cheeks.

“There is nothing to be ashamed about,” Plo said softly. “You aren’t the first Padawan to have affection for one of her peers, and I doubt you’ll be the last. If it’s any consolation, you were better at hiding it than most.”

“You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

“No, but I believe Luminara had her suspicions.”

“Ana-”

“Anakin doesn’t know, and he wouldn’t think any less of you if he did.”

Ahsoka put her head against the glass. “Do you think Barriss knew?”

“I-”

“She couldn’t have, or she never would have...” Ahsoka’s breath coalesced into fog as it touched the cold glass. “Forgive me, I shouldn’t bother you with this.”

“You’re never a bother. Talk to me.”

“I just don’t understand.” Ahsoka’s breathing grew erratic. “How could she do that to me?”

“I cannot speak for her. Only Barriss truly knows why she made her choices.”

Ahsoka looked back at Plo with a tear in her eye and a tremble on her lips. “How can she hate me so much? What did I do wrong?”

In that moment, Plo forgot he was a Jedi Master.

“Oh, ‘Soka, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “She doesn’t hate you. She was angry and scared, she didn’t know what to do about it.”

“But why _me?_ Why did she just throw me away like I was a piece of trash?” she asked with a sob.

“Anger and fear cause people to do things that don’t make sense. Things they would never do normally.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s just that I _trusted_ her, and she-” Ahsoka bit her lip. “It’s not fair.”

“I know, little one, I know.”

Ahsoka continued to cry for some time - Plo wasn’t sure how long - but it didn’t matter, he’d stay for hours if it made her feel better. Neither of them said anything, but Plo never took his hand off of hers.

When she was finished, Ahsoka wiped her face on her sleeve. “I should go. They’re going to miss you at the Temple if you stay here much longer.”

“I don’t care. Here.” Plo took the duffel bag sitting beside him and placed it on the table. “There’s food for three days and 1,000 credits in this. It’s not much, but it’s all I could afford.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened. “Master, I can’t take this.”

“Of course you can. I insist.”

Ahsoka shook her head. “No, this is too much.”

“‘Soka, I would give you much more if I could, believe me. Please, you need it more than I do.”

Ahsoka took the bag and placed it on the floor by her side. “Thank you.”

“No thanks are needed. As long as you’re alright, I’ll be happy.”

Ahsoka turned her attention back to her food while Plo debated on what to say next. He made his decision when she poured her third cup.

“The offer still stands for you to return to the Order,” Plo said. He knew her answer, of course, but he owed her the formality of asking.

“I can’t.”

“I understand.”

“Thank you.” She finished her coffee and cleaned her hands with a napkin. “Well, that should keep me going for another few hours. I have another shift at the spaceport coming up.”

Plo rose from his seat. “Come here.”

Ahsoka stood, and the two embraced one another tightly.

“If you ever need anything, you can come to me.”

“I know.”

“Good. This war is coming to a turning point soon.”

“What will happen then?”

“Who can say? The Force is becoming... difficult to discern. I am confident that the Light shall win, though.”

_It has to._

“I hope you’re right, Master Plo, I really do.” She broke the hug and hefted the bag onto her shoulders. “I really do need to go, or I’ll be late for work again.”

Plo raised a hand. “May the Force be with you, ‘Soka.”

_I’m proud of you._

“May the Force be with you, Master Plo.” She returned the gesture and walked out into the rain.

If either of them had known what was going to happen in a few months, perhaps they would have had more to say.

***

**Somewhere in the Mid Rim**

“What are you reading?” Barriss asked as she poked her head over Ahsoka’s shoulder.

Ahsoka angled the datapad to hide it from Barriss’ prying eyes. “A book.”

“I’m impressed. Is it one of those _really_ long ones with big words and no pictures?”

Ahsoka changed the page to one that lacked any images. “Of course it is.”

Barriss tried to snatch the pad from Ahsoka, prompting the latter to jump up from her seat.

“Knock it off,” Ahsoka said.

“Never.” A flash of determination crossed Barriss’ face. She lunged for the pad with a surprising burst of speed.

Ahsoka dodged Barriss’ hand. “Too slow.” She held the pad up in the air as far as her arm could reach.

Barriss made several attempts to jump for the pad, but Ahsoka kept it out of her reach the entire time.

“Huh,” Barriss said. “You’ve gotten taller since the war began.”

“Maybe you’re just awful at jumping.”

Barriss bowed her head. “I know when I have been defeated. Congratulations.”

Ahsoka let her grip on the pad loosen. “The pleasure is all mi-”

The pad slipped from Ahsoka’s fingers and crossed the distance between the two of them in a fraction of a second. Ahsoka had barely begun to process what had happened before Barriss jumped on one of the chairs with a wicked grin.

_Not fair._

“That’s cheating!” Ahsoka complained.

“All's fair in love and war, Madam Tano.” Barriss started to read. “ _Everyone I Know is a Pathetic Meatbag & I Cannot Wait for Them to Die, Yet They Somehow Saved the Galaxy: A Droid’s Account of the Life of Revan, Annotated by C. Onasi._” Barriss tilted her head in confusion. “You’re reading a biography?”

Ahsoka crossed her arms. “Yes.”

“Out of your own free will?”

“Yes.”

Barriss raised a brow. “For fun?”

“ _Yes._ ”

Barriss placed a hand on her heart. “This is the proudest moment of my entire life. When did you become interested in ancient histories?”

“You always made it sound fascinating when we went to the Archives,” Ahsoka replied. “I started doing some research of my own.”

Barriss’ hand moved from her heart towards her mouth.

“Barriss?”

“Give me a moment, I’m trying not to tear up.” She sounded genuinely touched despite her joking tone.

“Can I have it back? It was just getting interesting.”

Barriss kept reading. “What’s your favorite part?” she asked excitedly.

“Hard to say, the author has a distinctive way with words.”

Barriss nodded enthusiastically. “All accounts agree Revan traveled with a captivating group of people!”

“There’s something I don’t get, though,” Ahsoka said.

“What is it?”

“How come no-one knows what gender Revan was? That is supposedly a firsthand biography, but even it only ever describes Revan by their name. There isn’t even a depiction of them outside of their armor.”

“Revan lived four thousand years ago, it’s understandable that some details would be lost to time.”

“We have historical records from before the fall of the Infinite Empire, we have some knowledge of the Celestials, we have extensive accounts regarding half the civilizations to ever exist in the galaxy,” Ahsoka said. “But you’re telling me no-one knows what one of the most influential beings even looked like?”

Barriss shrugged. “I don’t mind, it adds to the mystique.” Her face shifted into a curious expression. “Why are half of the pages you have bookmarked just illustrations of Juhani?”

_Oh no._

“I respect her as a warrior and I find her story interesting and somewhat relevant in these troubled times,” she said surprisingly convincingly.

_Nice save._

Barriss looked up from the pad. “Why are the other half of the pages you have bookmarked just illustrations of Master Shan?”

_Damn it._

“...I respect her as a warrior and I find her story interesting and somewhat relevant in these troubled times,” she said much less convincingly.

“Are you sure that’s why? These are rather...” Her eyes widened. “...flattering.”

“...Can I have that back?” Ahsoka held out her hand.

Barriss got off the chair and tossed it to her. “Don’t let me keep you from your research.”

“Many thanks.” Ahsoka hastily deleted all of the evidence before starting to read from where she had left off.

“There’s something I wanted to tell you,” Barriss said as Ahsoka sat down again.

“Shoot.”

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve decided that I want to construct a lightsaber.”

Ahsoka turned the pad off. “Sure. Do you want any help?”

Barriss opened her mouth to speak, but she paused. “...What?” she asked.

_Looks like she expected resistance._

“It makes sense,” Ahsoka answered. “I know you’ve been without yours for quite awhile now. Do you want any help?”

“I had a speech prepared,” Barriss said with disbelief. “I thought you were going to try to talk me out of it.”

“Why would I do that?” Ahsoka sat forward. “I know how important a lightsaber is to people like us. I want you to be able to defend yourself, and you can’t do that with a blaster and a shoto.”

“Are you saying I’m a bad shot?”

“I saw you in the garrison, Barriss. You closed your eyes every time you squeezed the trigger.”

_It’s a miracle you didn’t shoot me in the back._

“I can get better!”

“Are you undermining your own argument? Besides, you were holding the shoto like it was a full length blade, and that’s just dangerous for everyone involved.”

“I-” Barriss started to object. “You’re right, that wasn’t proper form at all,” she said. “Aren’t you at least a little curious about why I want one?”

“I’d hate if your speech went to waste,” Ahsoka said with a smile. “Go ahead.”

Barriss cleared her throat. “Have I ever told you about the time I was sent to Ansion?”

_Ah, the famous border dispute._

Anakin and Obi-Wan had told Ahsoka about it over breakfast at the Temple. The story was relatively short and interrupted by their bickering multiple times, but Ahsoka had walked away with the impression that something special had happened under the stars on that remote planet.

“I’ve heard a few bits and pieces,” Ahsoka said. “Tell me.”

Barriss seemed to be trying, with some difficulty, to hide her glee. “Well, it all started a few years ago, just before the Clone Wars began. The planet Ansion was debating on whether to remain in the Republic or secede and join the CIS. It wasn’t a world with significant strategic or material value, but it more than made up for that with its web of alliances.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was incredibly complicated,” Barriss said. “However, one thing was very clear: If Ansion joined the Separatists, dozens of other worlds would be obligated to follow them. Palpatine,” she spat the name, “the Order, the Senate, and many, many others wanted to put a stop to that. So they sent-”

“Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Master Luminara Unduli, and some upstart Padawan named Barriss Offee.”

Barriss rolled her eyes. “At the time, Anakin was the one who was considered the upstart, though you’re correct. It... went poorly, at first. Luminara and I were attacked by mercenaries before Obi-Wan and Anakin were even supposed to arrive. Thankfully, they made good time, and the four of us survived unscathed.” She sat cross legged on the floor next to Ahsoka. “It quickly became obvious that the local Hutt was trying to sway Ansion into joining Dooku and his cronies.”

 _Why is it_ always _the Hutts?_

“Ansion’s planetary government agreed to remain in the Republic on one condition: the Jedi had to help resolve a border dispute between the nomadic tribes known as the Alwari,” Barriss continued.

“How did that go?”

“I was kidnapped,” Barriss answered.

“Of course you were.”

“The Hutt had sent two of his slaves to take care of me. He had them fitted with explosives to keep them compliant.” She made a noise of disgust. “They let me go after I removed the implants and mended their wounds.”

_I sometimes forget she was supposed to be a healer._

“The two former slaves helped the four of us find the native peoples, though we had some trouble.” She smiled in spite of what she had just said. “The clan we met wasn’t actually the one that spoke for the natives as a whole. If we wanted to find their leaders, we would have to impress the clan.”

“Impress them?”

“Yes. Evidently the Alwari had dealt with representatives of the Republic in the past, and they found their character to be lacking,” Barriss said in a way that implied she didn’t blame the Alwari for their misgivings.

“In what way did they want you to impress them?”

“They wanted us to prove that we had inner passion. Specifically, they wanted us to perform at their ceremonial feast that night. I was to go first.”

“I see,” Ahsoka said. “What did the great Barriss Offee have planned?”

“It was simple, really,” Barriss replied. “I danced with my lightsaber.”

_Obi-Wan and Anakin neglected to mention that._

“You danced?”

“That I did,” Barriss replied. “I shouldn’t brag, but it was beautiful with that blade spinning in the air and the wind blowing around us. I wish I could show you.”

Ahsoka thought of Barriss jumping through the air, bathed in the glow of her lightsaber, without a care in the world.

_I would have liked to see that._

Ahsoka looked down at her belt.

_Maybe I can._

“Here,” Ahsoka said as she unhooked her lightsaber, “show me.”

Barriss looked at the lightsaber as if it were a priceless gem. “Are you sure?”

“I know it’s the wrong color, but it should do the trick.”

Barriss took the lightsaber uncertainly. “It will do just fine.” She climbed to her feet and stretched her arms. “I apologize in advance if I slice through the hull and send us into the cold vacuum of space.”

“That won’t happen. I refuse to die from something as stupid as you tripping over your own feet.”

Barriss finished stretching. “I warned you.” She pushed her palm towards the control panel and all the lights inside the ship, save for the negligible orange emergency bulb above the engine hatch, went dark.

_Glad to see she still has a flair for the dramatic._

Ahsoka’s lightsaber ignited with a hiss, and a green glow illuminated Barriss with startling clarity. Barriss waved the lightsaber back and forth for a few strokes to gauge its feel, then assumed the traditional Soresu opening stance.

_Obi-Wan would be proud._

Barriss closed her eyes and leapt upwards with an expression of pure peace on her face. The lightsaber groaned as it sliced through the air with a rhythmic intensity while Barriss danced around the confines of the ship. Despite her earlier warning, she never faltered or, at least in Ahsoka’s opinion, even came close to making a single misstep. At one point, Barriss stood on one foot and tossed Ahsoka’s lightsaber in the air.

_Huh._

Immediately after the saber left her hand, Barriss clenched her fist and brought her arm above her head. The saber hovered above her hand and began to spin in place so rapidly it appeared to be nothing more than a blur of light.

_Oh my._

Barriss shifted her position so that she was standing on the toes of her left foot with her right leg sticking out to the side. She moved her arm downwards to her side and the saber followed it, still spinning. A few seconds passed before Barriss began to pivot on her toes. She started to swing her arm about slowly so that the saber moved through the air in an almost random pattern. She gradually increased the speed of her arm until the lightsaber seemed to become a solid wall of green energy that nearly obscured Ahsoka’s vision.

_Magnificent._

Then, just as suddenly as it had began, the blade froze in place with a slight grinding noise. Barriss plucked the lightsaber from the air and deactivated it. She opened her eyes and placed her errant foot back on the ground.

Ahsoka realized she had been holding her breath.

“That is what I did that night on Ansion,” Barriss said with barely a hint of exertion. “What did you think?”

_“You aren’t the first Padawan to have affection for one of her peers...”_

“It was amazing!” Ahsoka exclaimed. “Where did you learn to do that?”

Barriss rubbed her arm. “It’s a combination of Soresu practice drills, traditional Mirialan dances, a few lightsaber parlor tricks, and acrobatic routines from a couple holofilms.” She smiled sheepishly. “To be honest, I really made it up as I went along.”

“You were beautiful!”

Barriss’ smile was brighter than a supernova. “You’re too kind. Here.” She handed Ahsoka’s lightsaber back to her.

Ahsoka put the saber back on her belt. “What happened next?”

Barriss sat back on the floor. “Anakin sang, believe it or not.”

“You’re joking.”

Barriss laughed. “I swear he did! I wish I could remember the words.” She sighed. “It was... sad. Very sad. The sort of song the dead would sing.”

_Or slaves._

“Obi-Wan went next. He told a long, enthralling story about heroes of a bygone age. Finally, Luminara used the Force to move the sand as if she was nature itself.”

“That sounds lovely.”

“It was. Long story short, we managed to resolve the border dispute and Ansion voted to remain in the Republic.” She looked out at the stars. “Of course, the Clone Wars started a few weeks later.” She turned back to Ahsoka. “It’s silly, but I felt like that night was really what being a Jedi was all about: finding beauty in the world and using it to solve problems nonviolently. That’s what I remember when I think of a lightsaber.”

“Well, congratulations,” Ahsoka said. “You have successfully convinced me to participate in something I already agreed to do.” She rose from her chair. “We both know that building a lightsaber is supposed to be an experience Jedi embark on alone, but do you want help?”

“I need to find the crystal by myself. As for the hilt...” She grinned. “...I think I could be talked into letting you help me.”

“Fine by me,” Ahsoka said. She strolled towards the ship controls. “I think I know just the place to get the raw materials.”

“Oh?” Barriss asked as she stepped beside her. “Where would that be?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I have many feelings about Plo Koon, professional Space Dad, all of them positive.  
> 2) I recently became aware of the fact that Togruta have fangs, and I love it.  
> 3) Ahsoka didn't love Barriss during the war, but she definitely had feelings for her that were more than platonic.  
> 4) HK-47 is my hero, and I would die for him.  
> 5) The entire mission to Ansion is taken from the Legends novel "The Approaching Storm."


	11. Way of the Mynock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which progress is made, Ahsoka "I swear I'm not gay" Tano uses the Force for a less than dignified reason, and a course is set.

_“Snips, you are a walking disaster.”_

_\- Anakin Skywalker, 20 BBY_

**Nar Shaddaa**

Shalashk Vorktu was not having a particularly pleasant few months, thank you very much.

First, a pair of _way too smug_ women made him pay for drinks, which was a huge faux pas among the criminal circles Shalashk frequented.

Second, the _obnoxiously self righteous_ females turned out to be _Jedi._

Third, those _goody two-shoes_ Jedi killed Shalashk’s boss so easily he still wondered why they didn’t just kill him as well.

Fourth, all of Shalashk’s attempts to sell his now deceased employer’s things went horribly. Turns out most black market buyers weren’t interested in worthless art or obscure technical components. The handful of beings that actually wished to purchase Xythil’s exotic weapons and torture devices were the sort of beings that Shalashk wanted nothing to do with. He wasn’t _nearly_ broke enough to go to them.

Fifth, a trader from Commenor bought Shalashk’s lightsaber off of him for far, far less than market value. That _little womp rat_ then handed the saber over to the Imperials for twice what he paid.

Lastly, Shalashk lost a good number of credits on an ill-informed bet on the podraces. His favorite racer, a Zygerrian with a penchant for outrageous boasts, crashed into a wall after a night of binge drinking.

With all this in mind, Shalashk figured that he had earned a nice long nap.

Or, at the very least, a few hours without somebody annoying the absolute _hell_ out of him.

He had gotten home just when Nar Shadda’s sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. A glance at the chronometer confirmed his worst fears.

_I’ve been awake for thirty-six hours._

Thirty-six. Goddamn, Shalashk could barely even count that high tired as he was. When he finally found his bed, he collapsed into it as though the mattress was his open grave. He curled his arm around his blanket and embraced it like a long lost lover.

_Ah, sweet, sweet sleep. Take me to the dark place that knows no pain._

He was just about to drift off, mind swimming with images of filled bank accounts and dozens of bottles of wine, when he heard a knock on his apartment door.

_It can’t be the landlord already, I still got another week ‘til the rent’s due._

Probably just a courier dropping off some bauble Shalashk had bought off the HoloNet.

A few seconds passed before the knocking began much louder than before.

_Why? Don’t do this to me, whoever you are, I don’t deserve it._

Shalashk grabbed one of his pillows and pressed it over his head. The thin material did absolutely nothing to deafen the knocking, which was growing louder with each passing second.

_Please, I’m begging you. Go away._

Shalashk stayed like this for a good minute, desperately wishing that whoever was knocking would _just fucking go._

_Fine! Fine! FINE!_

He jumped out of bed, made sure he was wearing underwear, threw on his favorite bathrobe, and stomped his way to the front door with bared teeth.

_If it is the landlord, I swear on my mother’s grave, I will kill him._

He started to shout before he even had the door all the way open. “Do you know what time it is!?”

The Togruta Jedi flashed him a saccharine grin, hand still raised from knocking. “Local, or standard?”

_Oh no._

Shalashk let out a masculine shriek of terror. He tried to slide the door shut manually - damn those broken motors - but the Togruta stuck her foot in before he could even get it halfway.

“That’s not very friendly,” she said critically, like it was her fuckin’ house.

_Please no._

“Get away from me!” he screamed. He reached for the blaster hanging from a holster on the wall with desperate claws. Even a Jedi couldn’t dodge a bolt at this range, right?

The Togruta reached it first, damn her. “Come on now, I won’t bite.” Her fangs were visible and it certainly was not a coincidence.

She tossed the blaster over her shoulder like it was just rubbish and not a 5,000 credit piece of Czerka equipment. She looped the empty holster back on its hook like that would somehow make Shalashk feel more comfortable with his situation.

“Stay back!” Shalashk stumbled into a rickety old table that served as a home for the flowers Cousin Masha had given him. The vase holding the aforementioned flora fell on its side with a satisfyingly deep thud.

_That gives me an idea._

_Sorry, cousin._

He hurled the vase at the Togruta’s face with everything his sleep deprived body had. She just cocked her head to the side. Shalashk’s heart dropped as the vase smashed against the door of the apartment across from his. No doubt Old Man Jako would be _endlessly_ thrilled about that one come morning.

“A plant? Really? You don’t think I can dodge a _plant?_ ” Her mirth was shadowed by a healthy amount of disbelief mixed with petty irritation.

Shalashk had more weapons in his bedroom but it would take time _he did not have_ to reach them, so he instead opted for maybe the fifth stupidest thing he had ever done: he picked up the table by its shaky legs and brandished it like a vibroaxe.

“Don’t make me do this,” he all but whispered.

The Togruta glanced back and forth at the table and Shalashk’s uncertain eyes. “Don’t make you do what? Don’t tell me you're _actually_ going to h-”

Shalashk swung the table at her with both hands.

The Togruta punched the end of the makeshift weapon with more power and speed than Shalashk expected. The furniture splintered in Shalashk’s claws like a cheap brick of spice, scattering debris all across the hall. One particularly hefty piece of wood caught him hard in between the eyes. Shalashk felt his legs grow limp as the back of his head connected with the floor.

“Are you done?” the Togruta asked, kneeling down to meet Shalashk on the ground.

He propped himself up on his elbows despite the spots swimming in his vision. “P-please, mercy,” he begged. “I didn’t tell anyone about you, I swear.”

The Mirialan appeared in the doorway with a half eaten protein bar in her hand. “Force,” she said with a scowl. “I was at the vending machine for _one minute_ and you’ve already broken into his house and-” she looked around at shards of wood and pottery, “-assaulted him with furniture.”

The Togruta jabbed a finger at Shalashk with a hand on her chest. “ _I_ didn’t do anything! _He_ took one look at me before he tried to hit me over the montrals with a table!”

“A th-thousand apologies, madam Jedi,” Shalashk groveled. “I am but a foolish lizard who would barely qualify as sentient in any other universe.” He started to shuffle towards the door behind him.

“You tried to hit her with a table?” the Mirialan asked with no small amount of amusement. “A _table?_ We survived the Clone Wars and you thought you could stop her with a piece of wood?” She took a bite of her protein bar. “This trip is already worth it.”

Shalashk was inching closer and closer to the door the entire time she spoke. He had _no_ idea what he was actually going to do when he reached it, but it never hurt to keep his options open.

The Togruta looked back at Shalashk. “So, now that you’re done trying to kill me, how are you doing?”

“I am overjoyed to be basking in your radiant presence, glorious paragon of justice,” he answered.

_I’m laying it on too thick._

“Did you hear that?” she excitedly asked the Mirialan. “I’m a _paragon of justice!_ ”

The Mirialan looked at Shalashk expectantly. “Are you feeling up for some work?”

Work wasn’t the last thing Shalashk wanted, that honor belonged to getting stabbed with a lightsaber by Jedi tying up loose ends.

“That depends on the request you have, madam Jedi,” Shalashk said as evenly as he could. “I may just be capable of the services you require. Mayhaps if you were to in-light-ten me as to the finer aspects of the task you had in mind I could come to a more ed-yoo-kait-ed conclusion.”

“Why is he talking like that?” the Togruta asked with a curious tilt of her head. “I didn’t give you a concussion, did I?”

“He’s trying to flatter us. It’s not really working,” the Mirialan said to her friend. Then, to Shalashk, she said, “We need some materials that can be somewhat tricky to get a hand on. Could you help us?”

Shalashk nodded just a little too enthusiastically to be taken as genuine. “It depends on what sort of materials you want!”

The Togruta took a folded piece of flimsiplast from a pouch on her belt. “This is a list of everything we need. Can you get them?”

Shalashk took the list and found the messiest, most lopsided collection of Aurebesh he had ever had the misfortune of seeing. “I, uh, can barely read this.” He could practically feel his facade of politeness slide off his face. “Did you two get this from a drunk?”

The Mirialan huffed. “The ship was shaky entering the atmosphere, alright!? You try writing with a broken stylus and we’ll see how you do!”

“My apologies, madam Jedi.” He squinted at the words.

“Well?” the Togruta asked with a wave of her hand.

_A specific type of power cell, a small amount of high quality scrap metal, a few other bits of random junk._

“Yeah,” he said after a slight pause. “I can get this stuff for you, no problem. It’ll only cost you 5,000 cre-”

The Togruta tossed a small credit purse into his lap. “That’s 2,500, more than enough.” She smiled pleasantly. “Don’t try to cheat us like last time.”

_Oh no._

“I meant no offense, guardian of the Force.” He looked at the floor. “When did you need these?”

“As soon as you can get them,” the Mirialan said.

Of course.

“Pardon me, madam Jedi, for I have not slept in over twenty-four hours. I would greatly appreciate a slight reprieve.”

The Mirialan held up a second bag of credits. “There’s an extra 500 if you can do it in an hour.” She threw it into his lap on top of the other.

Shalashk was a Trandoshan of simple desires. Money was one of them.

“I can always sleep when I’m dead!” He laughed too loudly.

“Great. Our ship’s at the same pad as before,” the Mirialan said to Shalashk. “I’m going to head back,” she said to the Togruta.

The Togruta smiled at her with a gentleness Shalashk didn’t think she was capable of. “Alright, I’ll catch up in a little bit.”

The Mirialan gave Shalashk a halfhearted wave and strolled down the hall.

“Sorry about your table,” the Togruta said. “And your flowers.”

“Don’t, uh, worry about it.” He wondered if it would be appropriate for him to get off the floor yet.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

Shalashk resisted the urge to tell her that she just did. “Uh, sure.”

Her eyes softened. “Do you know where I can find a scarf?”

Shalashk had been expecting an interrogation regarding his knowledge of their status as Jedi. This was a nice surprise in comparison. “Oh, yeah. There’s a place down by the _Rancor_ that sells clothes real cheap. They should have what you need.”

“I don’t want _cheap._ I want something nice. Something... classy.”

“Ah, for your girlfriend?” He gave a tentative smile.

“My what?” Her tone was flat and disinterested but it was clear she had heard him perfectly.

If he were a smarter, less tired man, Shalashk would have realised that she was giving him an opportunity to reconsider his choice of conversation. Exhausted and stupid, he decided to press on. “You know, the Mirialan, your girlfriend. Don’t be coy.”

The Togruta gave him the sort of glare that could make a star sweat. “She is not my girlfriend,” she said deliberately. “She is just my friend that happens to be a girl. I am buying her something that she would enjoy because I am a good friend. You are going to stop smiling at me like that or I might find more furniture to break.”

The possibility of her thrashing his precious bed was one he could not allow.

“My... mistake. There is a store by landing pad 54-12 that sells expensive clothes. I was there, once, and they kicked me out on the street after I popped a button off of a jacket by accident.” It turned out that Trandoshan claws and fine silk don’t mix well. “They sent me a bill for 800 credits the next day.” He grimaced. “Have you ever been the only person at a wedding that was dressed casually?”

“I can imagine.” She stood up. “Catch you later.”

Sweet Scorekeeper, he hoped she wouldn’t.

***

“ _Ahsoka, where are you?_ ” Barris’s voice asked through the comm.

“I’m just getting food,” she lied. Well, she wasn’t _really_ lying. Food was definitely on the itinerary.

“ _We have food._ ”

“Not ration food, Barriss. _Real_ food.”

“ _Oh, nice,_ ” Barriss said appreciatively. “ _What are you going to get?_ ”

_Think of something quick._

“Meat,” she ended up saying.

The comm was quiet for a beat. Ahsoka punched herself mentally.

“ _Meat?_ ” Barriss finally asked.

“Yes. Meat.” That didn’t sound bizarre at all. “I have to appease the carnivore in me,” she added. Hopefully that would make her seem less weird and more joking.

“ _Meat,_ ” Barriss echoed.

“Yes.”

“ _That is just vague enough to be terrifying. You know that, right?_ ”

“...Yes?”

“ _Good, it’s not just me. I’m going to keep working on the hilt._ ”

“Alright, I shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“ _Have fun with your meat._ ”

“I’ll give you every credit in the galaxy if you promise to never say that again.”

A bark of laughter came through the comm. “ _Too late.”_

Ahsoka deactivated the comm with a chuckle and brought her attention back to the racks of clothes in front of her.

“Are you _almost_ done?” the grey-haired Human asked with a well-practiced sneer. He had been badgering her ever since she had stepped into this gaudy affront to good taste that was called a store, and he bluntly refused her request to be left alone. Evidently he found “lesser” species such as the Togruta unworthy of his trust.

“Hold your banthas, I’m still looking,” she responded with barely concealed contempt.

“My my, a picky tail-head, how typical.”

Ahsoka ignored the nearly overwhelming urge to stab him somewhere vital as she looked through the scarves.

_Too orange._

“If this store had a Humans-only policy my job would be _so_ much easier,” he confided to a mannequin wrapped in black furs.

_Too sparkly._

“You’re not listening to anything I say.”

_Too extravagant._

“My father is the vice president of the Sith Republic,” the Human continued. “My mother is the inventor of cheese.”

_Too thin._

“I was born with eight legs.”

_Too long._

“Stars are made of glowing insects.”

_Too short._

“The Killiks have returned to have their vengeance. It’s only a matter of time before we all submit to the hive.”

 _She_ hates _brown._

“The Emperor’s real name is Clarvo d’Reaux. Sheev Palpatine is actually the name of his cantina cover band. I’ve seen them in concert.”

_Too plain._

“My wife was murdered by a man with one arm. I’ve been hounded by law enforcement ever since.”

_Too green._

“I sometimes wonder if Ugnaughts get songs stuck in their heads.”

_Too bright._

“I’m actually a hairless Bothan. My family disowned me for bringing shame to the dynasty.”

_Too dark._

“I’m deathly afraid of Mon Calamari. I don’t trust anyone with eyes the size of dinner plates.” He shot her a meaningful glare. “Or anyone with tails on their head.”

_Too thick._

“My right arm turns into a blaster cannon whenever Kashyyyk experiences a full moon.”

_Too... huh._

She held the scarf up to the light and smiled. It was a dark shade of purple with golden threading stitched in swirling geometric patterns. In the center of the scarf was an outline of a flower in bloom made of the same thread as the other patterns.

_Perfect._

“Anyway, as I was saying about the Rodians-”

“Shut up,” Ahsoka said. “I want this one.”

“S-shut up?” he asked with genuine befuddlement. “Do you have _any_ respect?”

_For him? No._

The Human never stopped mumbling curses and racial slurs under his breath while he rang her up at a small counter near the entrance of the store.

A line of text flashed up on the register display. “ _689.99._ ”

“Excuse me,” Ahsoka said. “I think a decimal point is out of place.”

The Human halted his stream of barely-audible epithets and looked down at the monitor. “Oh, you’re right.”

A new line of text flashed up. “ _6,899.99._ ”

“Over 6,000? Really!?”

The Human looked down his nose at her, which was somewhat impressive considering that she was half a head taller than him. “The silk is from a nearly extinct species of worms from the Outer Rim. The golden stitching is _actual_ gold from worlds along the Hydian Way. The purple dye came from a crustacean at the bottom of Ojom’s oceans.” He raised a brow, confused at her protests. “The price is actually quite reasonable.”

“Ah. I... see. Give me a moment.” Ahsoka looked down at the bag in her hands and the 7,000 credits worth of scarf it held.

_That’s just too much._

_I tried, Barriss. I really did._

Ahsoka looked up to tell the man she had changed her mind, but she was distracted by a large display case that sat on the far end of the counter. It held dozens of pieces of ostentatious jewelry that sparkled in the store’s overly bright lights.

_Why is all of this stuff on a moon like this?_

“What are those?” she asked, cocking her head in the direction of the case.

“Crystal earrings and necklaces from Kuat. Each one costs more than I make in a standard month.” He smirked to himself. “And I make quite a lot in a month.”

The case was sitting rather close to the edge of the counter, despite the contents alleged value. A mere nudge with the Force would be enough to send it falling over the side. If that were to happen, it would be child’s play to just run off into the night.

_What the hell am I thinking?_

_Larceny is not a proper use of the Force._

“Let me guess, you can’t afford it,” the Human said. “You tail-heads need to learn that the universe is not your charity to rummage through. Some of us have jobs.”

_Then again..._

Ahsoka held her free hand behind her back and flicked it. The display case teetered on the edge for a few moments before anyone noticed the movement.

“Oh, fu-” the Human started.

The crash had no right to be as loud as it was. It was cacophonous, thunderous, annoyingly high pitched, and, above all, expensive sounding. A few customers walking by jumped at the noise. One employee’s formerly placid expression shifted into one that practically screamed for someone to kill her.

The Human, for his own part, just stared at the shattered remains with the sort of vacant gaze that conveyed a determined refusal to comprehend. “Someone get a cleaning droid,” he said to the broken crystals.

“Wow,” Ahsoka said. “That’s a shame. I’ll be going.” She shot a few finger guns as she backpedaled. “Have fun with that.”

The Human waved his hand dismissively as he plucked a stray earring from the pile. “Whatever.”

Ahsoka turned to the street and started to walk away slowly and unsuspiciously.

“Did she pay?” one of the other workers asked.

Ahsoka started to walk away swiftly and somewhat suspiciously.

“No, she - stop her!” the Human yelled.

Ahsoka began to run away quickly and extremely suspiciously. The grey-haired Human screamed something inarticulate as most of the observers just watched her go.

An employee, a Human woman with a smoker’s cough, put up a surprisingly good fight as Ahsoka led her on a winding path through Nar Shaddaa’s upper levels. Unfortunately for the woman, Ahsoka’s youth and stamina eventually won the day, and soon Ahsoka was catching her breath at the end of an alley, far from the scene of her crime.

_That was the stupidest thing I’ve done in quite a while._

_Add petty theft to my list of accomplishments._

Ahsoka’s comm beeped as she made her way down a flight of rickety metal stairs. “ _Ahsoka, are you there?_ ”

She pulled the comm from her belt. “Yep, I’m on my way.”

“ _Are you going to be much longer? I’m hungry._ ”

Ahsoka grinned montral to montral. “Hi, hungry-”

A groan. “ _No, don’t-_ ”

“-I’m dad.”

A sigh. “ _Why are you like this?_ ”

“You can blame Anakin for that one,” she said with a chuckle.

“ _You can’t blame Anakin for_ everything _. Eventually you’re going to have to-_ ” A loud cracking sound drowned out her voice.

Ahsoka held the comm closer to her head. “Barriss? You alright?”

“ _...I’m fine,_ ” Barriss answered after a pause.

“What was that?”

Barriss coughed lightly. “ _Would you believe me if I said it was nothing?_ ”

“No.”

“ _I thought not. Would you believe me if I said I torched one of the power cells with the fusioncutter?_ ”

“That seems a little more likely. Try not to burn down the ship before I get there.”

***

Barriss wiped the last of the soot from her hands and frowned.

_Force, she’s never going to leave me alone if I keep making things explode._

Well, in her defense, it wasn’t really much of an explosion. It was more like a... subdued fireball in a controlled environment.

_That doesn’t really sound better._

Regardless of any mishaps, things were going well enough. Not spectacular or amazing, but well enough. The polished scrap metal, loose electronics, and other such things were starting to coalesce into a rough approximation of a lightsaber hilt. The outer casing didn’t exist, the emitter matrix refused all of her attempts to even begin to align it properly, the circuits were misshapen, and the chamber that would eventually, _hopefully,_ hold a crystal was scratched.

Despite all of that, though, Barriss didn’t think she was doing an overly terrible job. It was sloppy. It was unprofessional. It was maybe even a little bit of a disgrace to the traditions of the Jedi. But damn it, it would work.

_Eventually._

_Probably._

_Force, let this work._

The ship opened with a now-familiar hissing groan that Barriss could attribute to any number of mechanical issues.

_As long as it doesn’t open in the middle of space, I won’t complain._

Ahsoka entered, arms laden with steaming containers. “Hey, hungry. I told you I wouldn’t be too long,” she said, hitting the door switch with her elbow as she walked.

“I didn’t burn the ship down, as you can see.”

“Well done. I’m proud of you.” Ahsoka wrinkled her nose. “You should probably turn on the air recyclers next time. I can practically see the fumes.”

_That would explain the lightheadedness, and the funny smell._

“Ah, yes. I probably should.” Barriss pushed the tools towards the edge of the workbench. “I’m surprised it took you this long to find something to eat. Did you get lost?”

Ahsoka smirked. “Yep. There I was, wandering around the surface of Nal Hutta, having a great time dodging slavers and pirates, and I suddenly realise that the giant ball of metal hanging in the sky was where I was supposed to be.”

Barriss took one of the containers from Ahsoka. Underneath the lid was a pile of steamed vegetables and a large hunk of... something... grey. “What is this?” she asked, prodding it with a finger. It was firm.

“Freshly boiled nerf,” Ahsoka replied.

She poked it again. “Freshly?”

“It’s not half bad, especially when you consider the fact that it was flash frozen before the war started.” Ahsoka opened her own container and scoffed. “I specifically asked for no vegetables, and what do I get?” She showed the container to Barriss, revealing a nearly identical serving of steaming greens.

“I’ll take them.”

“Be my guest.” She held up a small sack. “I found some bread, too.”

Barriss noticed Ahsoka had another bag tucked under her arm as the two of them finished divvying up the food. “What’s that?”

Ahsoka looked down at the bag as though she had forgotten about it entirely. “Oh, I got you a little something.”

“You did?”

“Yep.” Ahsoka reached into the bag and removed a length of purple fabric embroidered with gold designs. She gave it to Barriss carefully, like it would tear at the slightest mishandling.

Barriss felt the material. “What is it?”

Ahsoka smiled. “It’s a scarf, silly. I know you like to keep your hair covered, and you lost your other one on Malastare, so I got this one.”

“Oh.” She ran her fingers over the gold.

“Well, what do you think?” Ahsoka asked expectantly.

“It’s lovely. I like it very much.”

Ahsoka’s smile grew wider. “Great!”

Barriss looked back at the gold. “But I can’t accept it.”

Ahsoka’s smile disappeared like dust in the wind. “What?”

“I appreciate the gesture, but this must have cost a fortune, and we don’t have a fortune to spare. I’m sorry.”

Ahsoka’s smile returned, but it was clearly pained. “It wasn’t expensive at all, really! It cost practically nothing!” She winced. “I mean, it wasn’t _that_ cheap. I wasn’t going through the clearance racks for you.” She winced again. “Not that there’s anything wrong with clearance racks, if that’s your thing.” She winced again. “Not that I’m saying you dress cheaply, you look great!” She winced a fourth time. “But your clothes aren’t the only thing that matters! There’s a lot of good things about you, like your personality!” She winced yet again. “I’m-I’m not saying that because you’re ugly, ‘cause you’re not!” Her eyes grew desperate.

_What is happening?_

“Are you feeling alright?” Barriss asked.

Ahsoka took a deep breath, cheeks burning. “Look, I stole it from a Human supremacist that kept bullying me.” She held out a hand. “Do you want me to take it back?”

“You stole this?”

“Yeah. I did. I know, I know. It was stupid, impulsive, foolish, frivolous, a disgrace to the Force, and a waste of my abilities as a former Jedi. I only...” She bit her lip. “I wanted to cheer you up.” She reached for the scarf. “I’ll just... leave this outside the store, I guess.”

_That is... one of the most strangely sweet things anyone’s done for me._

“Strangely sweet” was a descriptor that could be applied to a lot of Ahsoka’s actions. Like that time she recited a thirty page eulogy to Obi-Wan when he returned from his undercover mission after he faked his death.

_“O Force, O Light!” Ahsoka yelled to the heavens. “Take this snarky soul into your loving arms! He doesn’t mean anything by it, it’s just the way he is!”_

_Anakin wheezed as his laughter devolved into weak giggles. “This is the best idea we’ve ever had!”_

_Obi-Wan continued to stare at the ceiling. “It is 0300. Please let me sleep.”_

_“By the Force! I can hear his voice!” She turned to Anakin with clasped hands. “Master, Obi-Wan’s speaking to me from beyond the dead!”_

_Obi-Wan gave Anakin a weary glance as the latter burst into laughter once more. “She is definitely your Padawan.” He looked at Barriss quizzically. “Why are you here?”_

_Barriss sighed. “Ahsoka told me she needed urgent help translating an old text from the archives.”_

Barriss almost let Ahsoka pull the scarf out of her hands. Almost. “Wait,” she said, closing her fingers around the fabric. “It would be a shame if you went through all of that effort for nothing. At least let me try it on.”

“Oh, uh, sure.”

Barriss pushed her hair back and went about winding the scarf around her head. After a few minor adjustments, she looked up at Ahsoka once again. “How does it look?”

Ahsoka gave a lopsided grin. “Like it was made just for you.”

Barriss stood and made her way to the ‘fresher. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed Ahsoka’s statement.

_Brings out my eyes._

“Do you want to keep it?” Ahsoka asked in a way that suggested there was a clear right answer.

“I think I do.” She stepped out of the ‘fresher. “Promise me that you aren’t going to become a master thief.”

Ahsoka placed a hand over her heart. “I swear that I shall never steal again.” She thought for a moment. “I reserve the right to make an exception for extreme circumstances.”

_Fair enough._

“Anyway, how’s the hilt coming along?” Ahsoka asked, stuffing a forkful of nerf into her mouth.

“It’s going well enough,” Barriss said. She sat down at the workbench. “There are a few hiccups, but I’m pretty sure I know what I’m doing.” She traced her fingers on the edge of her project. “Should only take another day or so, provided I don’t blow anything else up.” She showed the hilt to Ahsoka. “It’s rough, but I think it will work.”

“I knew you could do it,” Ahsoka said in between bites. “Do you have any ideas for where you could find your crystal?”

_Ah, the crystal._

The crystal was the tricky part. Had Barriss needed one just a year earlier, it would have been as simple as hopping on a transport to Illum for a Gathering. If time was especially short, she may have even been able to just put in a request for an artificial crystal, or one that had already been collected by the Order for safekeeping.

Those weren’t really options anymore.

“I would say that we go to Illum, but that’s too obvious,” Barriss answered. “I’m sure Palpatine has sent forces there already. It was too important to the Order to go undiscovered.”

Ahsoka took another bite. “You’re probably right. What about Dantooine?”

“I thought about Dantooine, but I’d rather not. It can be dangerous there.”

“Where else is there?”

“Have you ever heard of Jedha?”

“I think I have. There’s a temple there, but it wasn’t run by Jedi, right?”

“Correct. The Guardians of the Whills serve there. They worship the Force but they have no sensitivity to it. There’s also a substantial amount of kyber crystals beneath the temples. Since it was never really important to the Order, I find it unlikely that the Empire would consider it a priority.”

“Makes sense. You know where it is?”

“It’s a major spot for pilgrims. Shouldn’t be hard to find on the HoloNet.”

Ahsoka put her tray down. “That’s fortunate. When do you want to leave?”

“It should probably take the better part of a day to get there from Nar Shaddaa. I was thinking we could plot a course as soon as we finished eating.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ahsoka said, taking one final forkful of the nerf. “I’m just going to double check the thrusters outside.” She placed her empty container in the sink and opened the ramp.

“Hey, Ahsoka,” Barriss said.

Ahsoka looked over her shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Ahsoka beamed. “Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll find some other law to break in good time.”

***

Ahsoka rested her head against the bottom engine and groaned.

_Nice going, jackass._

_“I’m not saying that because you’re ugly!?”_

_Spast, I’m a mess._

She didn’t know why she had stood there sputtering like an idiot. She didn’t know why Barriss’ smiles made her feel confused. She didn’t know why she felt the need to justify herself whenever Barriss felt even a shred of doubt. She didn’t know why she wanted Barriss to be impressed with her. She didn’t know why Barriss sometimes made her feel so _stupid._

She also didn’t know how to diagnose all but the most obvious mechanical issues in an engine like the ones the _Starshine_ used, but she didn’t exactly feel like going inside to tell Barriss about that.

_Get a grip, Tano._

She lifted an access panel off of the bottom engine and poked around at the wires and mechanisms.

_Looks good enough, I guess._

She closed the panel after shoving a loose wire back into place, and she turned her gaze to the Nar Shaddaa skyline. Only a handful of stars were visible due to the massive amount of light coming from the city.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that the crush she once had on Barriss was evidently resurfacing, despite her best efforts to avoid that.

It wasn’t fair that she still couldn’t bring herself to forgive Barriss for what she had done, no matter how much she wanted to.

It wasn’t fair that she had to slink through the galaxy as a fugitive, her only crime being a failure to die.

_But when has my life ever been fair?_

Friendless as a youngling, a survivor of dozens of battles as a teenager, now wanted dead by the largest power in the galaxy.

_Everything’s coming up Ahsoka._

“Are they alright?” Barriss asked, poking her head out of the ship. “You’ve been messing with them for over a half hour.”

_Damn._

Ahsoka put on her best “I’m perfectly fine, and nothing could ever change that” smile. “Yep, they’re fine! Just wanted to be sure, y’know?”

Barriss looked at her curiously. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, the engines are fine!”

Barriss didn’t seem particularly satisfied by that answer. “Okay, then. I found the coordinates, and we’re good to go.”

Ahsoka nodded. “Great, let’s go!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and Anakin all collectively have the best/worse sense of humor in the galaxy.  
> 2) There is no way in hell Ahsoka and Anakin ever let Obi-Wan hear the end of him faking his death.  
> 3) The idea of Ahsoka having a lonely childhood was inspired by the excellent webcomic, Contrasts. I like it as an explanation for why she seems to be eager to please those she cares about.


	12. The Strongest Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ahsoka is tall, Barriss has ~~fun~~ a series of emotionally draining experiences, and some small amount of closure is found.

_“I don’t need luck, I have you.”_

_\- Chirrut Îmwe, 0 BBY_

**Jedha**

The Holy City of Jedha was a curious place.

It was loud and lively, like any ancient site of pilgrimage should be. Worshippers sang their hymns in dozens of languages. The market was filled with the boisterous promises of merchants and travellers alike. Beings of all sorts chatted and joked in alcoves and archways. Yet there was something wrong. Something subdued. It was like the entire city was consciously holding itself back, as if the desert would swallow them whole if they grew too excited.

The city was odd enough when seen through the physical sense. To one sensitive to the Force, it was even stranger.

The Holy City of Jedha was both deafening and whisper-silent. It was dazzling and darker than the void between stars. It was alive as any forest world and it was as dead as a necropolis.

Barriss found the experience somewhat disconcerting, to say the least.

“This place is strange,” she said, letting a handful of sand slip through her fingers.

Ahsoka lowered the scuffed electrobinoculars from her eyes. “Agreed. It feels familiar, somehow.”

The last of the sand fell from Barriss’ hand. “It does, but not in a comforting way.”

“Almost like a warning.” Ahsoka looked through the binoculars once more as she stepped closer to the edge of the rock they were using as a vantage point. “Lots of banners flying. Might be a festival going on.” She looked at Barriss. “I’m pretty sure there aren’t any Imperials in the city. None in uniform, at least.”

_About time for some good news._

Barriss stood, brushing dirt from her knees. “That’s fortunate.”

A stiff wind blew across the desert. Ahsoka pulled her coat - a blue, fur-lined affair so large it could probably hold both of them comfortably - around herself. “When you’re done here, we’re going somewhere _warm,_ ” she said with finality. “I’ve about had my fill of being cold.”

“You should see Mirial. This would be considered a lovely spring morning,” Barriss replied.

“Charming.” Ahsoka shoved the binoculars into her coat.

“There are beautiful sunrises, though.”

“I’m sure there are.” Ahsoka pointed at a massive, monolithic stone structure at the far edge of the city. “I’d be willing to bet some credits on that being the temple.”

“Astute as always.” Barriss smoothed her cloak. “I’m nervous.”

“Hi, nervous, I’m-”

“ _Ahsoka._ ”

“Sorry, sorry. Why are you nervous?”

“What if there isn’t a crystal for me?”

Ahsoka cocked a brow. “There’s an entire mine worth of kyber, Barriss. I doubt they’ve run out.”

“You know what I mean. What if there isn’t one that’s meant for me? What if none of the crystals call to me?”

“I’ll march down to the temple and give the Force a piece of my mind.”

“Ahsoka, I’m serious.”

Ahsoka gave a small smile. “I know you are, I’m just teasing.”

Barriss crossed her arms. “It's not helping.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to deal with anything that happens,” Ahsoka said calmly. “And if something goes wrong, you’ll think of a solution. No use worrying over it.”

Ahsoka’s seemingly unwavering confidence in her never ceased to confuse Barriss.

“I suppose you’re right.” Barriss waved her hand towards the city. “Shall we?”

Ahsoka bowed shallowly. “Ladies first.”

Barriss found herself smirking despite the uneasiness she still felt. “Always the gentleman,” she said as she hopped off the rock.

“I try.”

The path to the city gate was long, uneven, and under the constant assault of Jedha’s permanent winter winds. Ahsoka made sure that Barriss was well aware of that last part.

“We’re going someplace _warm,_ ” Ahsoka repeated as the pair walked. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself instead of Barriss.

“Look on the brightside. We could be on Illum.” Barriss gazed up at the massive arch that marked the entrance into the city walls.

“I like Illum. Illum has snow and giant pieces of ice and great views that more than make up for the cold. The city is nice, and so are the statues, but for the most part, Jedha just has rocks and sand.”

“What’s wrong with sand?” Barriss led the way through the threshold into the city itself.

“I made the mistake of asking Anakin that, once,” Ahsoka replied. “He had a surprisingly passionate response.”

“Anakin had passionate thoughts about sand?” Barriss didn’t even bother to hide her incredulity.

“Anakin had passionate thoughts about a lot of things. Sand, as it turned out, was one of those things.” Ahsoka pulled her coat around herself yet again.

“You’re not going to freeze to death while I’m finding a crystal, are you?”

Ahsoka scoffed. “Please, it takes more than a stiff breeze to end me.” Despite her defiance, Barriss noticed that she was shivering slightly.

“You’re ridiculous.” Barriss pulled off one of her layers of cloaks and robes and offered it to Ahsoka. “Take this.”

Ahsoka looked at the clothing with amusement in her eyes. “It’s adorable that you think that’s going to fit me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m taller and broader than you.”

“I’m not _that_ small. You’re not _that_ tall,” Barriss said, craning her neck slightly to look Ahsoka in the eyes. The irony was not lost on her.

Ahsoka held her hand in the air as far as she could without stretching her arm. “Give me a high five.”

_If you insist._

Barriss reached up and promptly slapped the middle of Ahsoka’s forearm, causing the latter to smile and the former to frown.

_That’s not fair._

“Fine,” Barriss said with a pout that no doubt only served to make her seem shorter in Ahsoka’s eyes. She shoved the robe into Ahsoka’s arms. “At least throw it over your shoulders.”

“You’re too kind,” Ahsoka said, tossing the robe over her back with a dramatic flourish that obscured her eyes. She then immediately tripped over a loose brick and tumbled down a series of steps leading into a market.

Barriss winced as Ahsoka’s fall came to a halt. “Well done.”

Ahsoka raised a thumb. “I’m good.” She climbed to her feet and dusted herself off as a vendor giggled at her expense. “I’m good.”

“You are sometimes, without doubt, one of the clumsiest people I have ever met.”

Ahsoka wrapped the robe around her shoulders. “You find it endearing.”

Barriss didn’t say anything in return, but if Ahsoka’s knowing grin was anything to go by, her expression must have been encouraging.

_...It is endearing._

They found the Temple of the Kyber in short order without any further difficulties, though they noticed something rather odd. Despite the abundance of pilgrims throughout the city, the streets leading up to the temple itself were all but deserted. Only a handful of worshippers were outdoors, and none of them sang their songs or chanted their prayers.

“This isn’t ominous,” Ahsoka said with a wry chuckle. “Nope, not spooky at all. Perfectly normal.”

Barriss couldn’t help but wonder if the Empire had arrived after all. Perhaps they had already looted the temple for everything it was worth. They may have killed the Guardians of the Whills for standing in their way. Maybe the kyber mine was collapsed in order to halt the efforts of any surviving Jedi that wanted to build a lightsaber. What if-

“Here we are,” Ahsoka said, staring up at the temple tower. “It looks much larger up close.”

It _was_ much larger up close. The temple rose high into the sky. Decorative stonework carved into the building’s surface glimmered in the early morning sun. It was rather impressive.

Barriss surveyed the courtyard and found nothing but sand, stone tiles, and a handful of plants wilting in cracked pots.

“Are you ready?” Ahsoka asked with a small amount of concern.

“Yes,” Barriss replied. She stepped to the edge of the courtyard. “I have to do this alone.”

“I know. Do you have something to eat?”

Barriss patted the bag at her side. “I have some dried fruit.”

“Water?”

“A full canteen.”

“Comm’s fully charged?”

“Yes.”

“Your clothes are warm enough?”

“I’m not the one who’s desperately trying not to shiver, am I?”

Ahsoka grew indignant. “I’m not desperately doing anything, but I see your point.”

Barriss turned back to Ahsoka. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Alright. If anything goes really, _really_ wrong, contact me.”

“I will. Wish me luck.” She faced the temple and resumed her approach.

“You don’t need luck,” Ahsoka said quietly, “you’re Barriss Offee.”

Barriss was grateful that Ahsoka couldn’t see her blush.

***

Despite the emptiness and quiet she had found on the way to the temple, Barriss had still expected some sort of commotion inside the building itself. There were no monks meditating or protectors training, though, just a nearly empty, dusty entrance hall lined with ancient jeweled statues and oil paintings framed in lacquered wood.

“Hello?” she asked loudly. “Is there anyone here?”

Her own voice echoing around the chamber was the only response.

_I guess not._

Barriss decided that there was no use wasting time shouting, so she wandered through the first few halls and rooms into what could only be some sort of gathering area - probably a spot for religious ceremonies held for pilgrims. A small table sat against the wall covered in prayer beads and unused thuribles. Shafts of sunlight shone down through slits in the eastern wall, casting a warm golden glow across the tiled floor.

It was peaceful the same way an empty tomb was peaceful. Quiet. Oddly charming. Eerie.

Barriss found herself drawn to a small figurine on the table. It was carved from the same stone as the gigantic works that blanketed the desert around the Holy City. It depicted a cloaked, masked figure holding a kyber crystal in an outstretched palm. In their other hand was a long cylinder that Barriss assumed was supposed to be a lightsaber hilt, though the age and degradation of the work made it difficult to tell. Barriss reached out to wipe some dust from the head of the sculpture.

A long, high-pitched whine that could only be the sound of a weapon charging snapped Barriss out of her brief reverie. She started to turn around.

“Don’t move,” a gruff voice instructed her.

Barriss stood stock-still. “I-”

“Don’t talk. Show me your hands.”

Barriss decided that a little bit of indignity was a small price to pay if it would keep her from getting shot in the back. She held her hands in the air.

“Turn around. Slowly.”

Barriss did so, and she found herself under the watchful glare of a massive Human with an equally massive blaster cannon in his hands.

_Might as well press my luck._

“Are you one of the Guardians of the Whills?” she asked. His finger tightened slightly on the trigger. “I don’t mean any harm.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He shook his tangle of black hair away from his face. “Who are you?”

Barriss reasoned that if there was one place in the galaxy that would welcome someone like her, it would be here. “I once was a Jedi.”

“Is that true?” He let his aim drift away from her head.

“Yes, I-”

“Is this how we welcome guests, Baze?” someone behind Barriss asked.

Barriss looked over her shoulder. An elderly Human woman - one of the oldest Barriss had ever seen, now that she thought of it - was descending the stairs with a gnarled cane in her hand.

“Well, speak up, boy,” the woman said.

The man, who must have been Baze, grimaced. Barriss could think of several descriptors for him, but none of them included commentary on his supposed youth.

“I am doing my duty, elder,” Baze said, holstering his blaster. Barriss breathed a sigh of relief.

“Your duty is to protect the temple from those who would threaten it. You’re skulking around ambushing the first person to visit us in weeks.” The woman waved her cane at Barriss. “Are you here to threaten us?”

“Elder, do you really think she would just tell-”

The woman held up a leathery hand. “Hush, Baze. Go ahead, girl.”

“I come in peace,” Barriss said.

The woman gave Baze a toothy grin. “See? She comes in peace.”

Baze opened his mouth to speak, but he paused. “...Yes, elder. Forgive me.”

“No forgiveness is needed.” She narrowed her eyes at Baze. “Where is Chirrut?”

Baze scoffed. “I’m not his keeper, elder.”

“You’re not, but that doesn’t stop you from acting like you are, does it?”

Baze sighed. “No, it doesn’t. I’ll go find him before he gets himself hurt. Again.”

Baze shot Barriss one last sceptical glance before disappearing into one of the temple’s countless passages.

Barriss turned back to the woman and bowed. “It is an honor to meet you, elder.”

The woman gave Barriss the same toothy grin she had given Baze. “You need not bow to me. I am just a caretaker here.” She held up several twisted fingers. “I’m only in charge because most of the Guardians are away at present.”

Barriss stood up straight. “Where is everyone, if you don’t mind my asking?”

The woman descended the last of the steps. “A large portion of the Guardians are away on an extended spiritual journey on the other side of the moon. A good number of the rest are mourning after...”

“The Jedi Purge.”

The woman was quiet for a moment. “Yes. The Purge. We’re all taking it... hard. I’m sure you can sympathize. We’ve even suspended services for the last few weeks out of respect.” She gestured towards the passage Baze had taken. “You must forgive Baze, he has been having more difficulty coping with what has happened than many of the others.”

“I understand.”

The woman approached Barriss with a curious flash of interest in her eyes. “I may be mistaken, but your face seems... familiar... somehow. May I know your name?”

For one fleeting moment, Barriss considered lying to her. But what use would that be?

“I am Barriss Offee,” she answered. She searched the woman’s face for the disgust that was undoubtedly on its way.

The woman’s expression didn’t shift at all. Instead, she just stroked her chin in what might’ve been a sign of rememberance. “Barriss Offee?”

“Yes. I am... I _was_ the Padawan to Master Luminara Unduli. I used to be a Jedi, before I-”

“Gave a man the means and opportunity to turn himself into a living bomb on Coruscant.” There was no judgment in her words, just a simple description.

Barriss tried to push the sound of screaming out of her ears. “Yes.”

The woman gripped the head of her cane with both hands. “I thought I recognized you. Your actions caused quite a stir in the Order. Even we, so far away from the worlds considered to be important by the Jedi, heard of it.”

“I am not surprised.”

“That makes one of us. Why are you here, Barriss Offee?”

“I have come to gather a kyber crystal,” Barriss said.

“For a lightsaber?”

“Yes.”

The woman raised her cane. “Do you think you are worthy of one?”

Barriss didn’t even need a moment to think of an answer. “No, I don’t think I’m worthy. I think I may never be worthy of something like that ever again.”

The woman tilted her head in curiousity. “Then what made you come anyway?”

Barriss thought of Ahsoka shivering in that ridiculous coat of hers. “If I had a lightsaber, I would be able to protect both myself and the people... the person _..._ I care about.”

The woman took a step backwards. “I think that answer shows you _are_ worthy, in a way. Would you like some tea?”

Barriss blinked in surprise, both at the approval and the sudden offer of refreshments. “I would.”

“My quarters are near the top floor.” The woman looked at the stairs with dread. “I suggest we take a lift.”

***

“More sugar?”

Barriss took a sip of the tea. It was hot, spicy, and perfect. “No, thank you.”

The elder took a small flask off the table. “Rum?”

“Excuse me?”

The elder chuckled as she emptied the flask into her cup. “It’s milk. Force, you kids always fall for that one.”

The elder reclined in her seat as Barriss took in her surroundings. The room was sparsely decorated - if it weren’t for the handful of personal items strewn about, Barriss probably would have assumed she was sitting in a storage closet.

“I would be remiss if I did not warn you,” the elder said. “Force-sensitives have a tendency to experience extremely vivid visions in the kyber mine.”

“That is not unusual for a place with so much residual energy,” Barriss said. “I am sure if I have a vision it would not be overwhelming.”

The elder looked unconvinced. “Barriss Offee, you strike me as a person that has many regrets in life. For your sake, I hope you are correct.”

_I hope I am, too._

“What is it like?” the elder asked.

Barriss sipped more tea. “Pardon?”

“Having a real connection to the Force. Being able to actually feel the energy that binds all living things together. Knowing that you are never truly alone, no matter where you are.” The elder leaned forward. “What is it like?”

“You worship the Force. You base your lives around it. You dedicate your entire existence towards venerating it. Surely you know what it’s like.”

The elder’s face grew despondent. “Having faith and having a bond are very different things.”

_I suppose that’s true enough._

“It’s both a blessing and a curse,” Barriss said after thinking for a moment. “Sometimes it’s the most wonderful thing in the universe. You can feel the ties that bind life together, and it’s miraculous.”

“What about the other times?”

Barriss looked out the window, and tried to find something to focus on. “There are times when you’re sitting in a medical center, desperately trying to keep someone alive, and you can’t ignore their pain, no matter how much you want to. There are times when you have to tell a parent that their child died on the operating table because they were standing next to the wrong building when an artillery blast hit, and their grief stabs into you like a knife, over and over again. There are times when you arrive on a planet stricken by famine, and their hunger becomes your hunger.”

“I don’t envy you, Barriss Offee.”

For some insane, stupid reason, that simple statement coaxed a laugh out of Barriss. “I don’t think many people do!”

The elder did not share her amusement. “Here.” She rose from her seat and rummaged around in small wooden chest. After a few moments of this, the elder produced a small hammer and chisel. “You’ll find these useful. I’m sure I don’t have to warn you about the dangers of using a cracked crystal in a lightsaber.”

Barriss stood and took the tools. “You do not. Thank you.”

“I would escort you to the mine itself, but I have to monitor a... Ah, forget it. I’m old. I’m sure you can find the way.”

Barriss bowed. “Many thanks, elder. I wish I had a way to repay you.”

“You want to repay me? Learn to forgive yourself.”

“What?”

“If you hold onto your regrets for the rest of your life, you may find that it’s not really a life worth living.”

Barriss couldn’t really think of a reply to that, so she just walked out with a nod.

***

Barriss only encountered a handful of people between the elder’s quarters and the under passages that led into the kyber mine, but she was under the impression that the temple wasn’t nearly as empty as it had first appeared. The Guardians of the Whills were quite skilled at remaining quiet and reverential.

_Fitting._

Here, in the bottom levels of the temple, the only sources of light were flickering torches and the occasional glimmering pocket of buried crystal fragments.

Barriss washed a handful of dried fruit down with a large gulp of metallic-tasting water. She had been down here in the dark for at least two hours, and she was no closer to her goal than when she had first stepped into the temple.

She knew the reason behind her difficulties, of course, though she really, _really_ didn’t want to acknowledge them. She was distracted. Distracted by the elder’s request that Barriss forgive herself. Distracted by the nagging fear that she simply wasn’t fated to have a crystal. This distraction manifested itself in aimless wandering and frustrated sighs.

Finally, after she passed the same tunnel support for the fifth time in two minutes, Barriss decided that she needed to clear her head. She found a suitably clean patch of ground, and she sat cross legged underneath an outcropping of black rock.

_Don’t think of anything._

_Think of nothing. Nothing at all._

_Breath in. Breath out._

_Breath in. Breath out._

_Breath in..._

***

After several minutes of thinking of nothing and breathing slowly, Barriss found that the air was quickly growing thin and stale, and her own body had become sluggish and weak. Her eyes snapped open, and she was no longer in the mine. She was no longer on Jedha.

She was on Geonosis, inside that wreckage with her head on Ahsoka’s lap, waiting for their oxygen to run out.

Waiting to die.

She realized instantly that this couldn’t possibly be real. It had to be some sort of vision brought on by the Force.

_It feels real, though._

_Too real._

“Hey,” Ahsoka said weakly, “we’ll be alright.”

“I know we will,” Barriss replied, voice unsteady.

“Then why are you upset?”

“I failed you. I was older, more experienced. I was supposed to make sure our first mission together was a success, but instead I almost got us both killed, all so we could slaughter Geonosians in a sneak attack.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” A distant rumble sent a trail of dust falling from the ceiling, coating Ahsoka’s lekku in the process. “Last time I checked, I agreed with your plan to blow the tank.”

“What kind of a choice is that? I could have just dragged you out of here. We could have regrouped with our masters, we could have come up with another idea.”

“The mission comes first. We saved a lot of clones that would have died in a direct assault. They aren’t expendable.”

“Your life isn’t expendable, either. I could’ve blown the tank myself, and then the only one in danger would have been me.”

Barriss knew that if that had been the case, she would have died. Anakin wouldn’t have worked so feverishly if Ahsoka was perfectly fine. Luminara...

_She would have left me here if things looked grim enough. She was prepared to let me go._

“You think I would have let you have all the fun?” Ahsoka snickered wryly. “You really are an idiot.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“If it makes you feel better, I think you’re pretty cool, so I guess we’re both idiots!”

They laughed.

“If the Empire ever finds out about us, it will only take a few weeks before the HoloNet is talking about ‘Those Two Idiots!’” Ahsoka exclaimed, waving her hand in the air as though she was highlighting the text.

Barriss' laughter gradually died down. She said the first thing that came to mind. “I’m glad you’re alive.”

Ahsoka laughter didn’t gradually die down. It swiftly rose. “Be still my heart! I never knew you were so charming!”

The burning Barriss felt in her cheeks was so intense she momentarily forgot that none of this was real. “Ahsoka-”

“It’s a wonder women aren’t throwing themselves at you!”

Barriss had pondered about many things over the course of her life. The reason why women didn’t find her irresistible was not one of those things. “Ahsoka-”

Ahsoka waved her hand in the air like she was highlighting another sign. “‘Barriss Offee, Professional Ladykiller!’”

“Ahsoka, _please._ ”

“Alright, alright. I’ll spare you,” she said like it was the greatest act of mercy in galactic history.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t men-” she grew silent mid-sentence.

Barriss looked up, worried. “Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka snored in response as she slumped forward.

_Well, there are worse ways for this to end._

There was no use fighting to escape a vision such as this, or Ahsoka’s grip, which was ironclad. Barriss just closed her eyes and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

***

Eventually, the air grew breathable once more, and Barriss found her strength return as well. Something was off, though. The distant rumbling of Geonosis had been replaced by the crystal clear beeping of medical equipment and the worried chatter of clones.

Barriss opened her eyes, and she found herself sitting at a small desk in an equally small room. A glance to her left confirmed that she was in space.

_Oh. Here._

Barriss and Luminara had been stationed at one of the Republic’s countless medical centers for a period of several weeks at the beginning of what would turn out to be the last year of the war. They treated everything from minor cuts to full-body burns in an undersupplied, overworked outpost that barely had the resources to keep the generators running and the life support functioning.

If there was a hell waiting for Barriss, it would not be too different from that station.

That particular night, Barriss had spent just under an hour trying to resuscitate a civilian... a _child_... that had been struck by an errant Republic grenade. She had kept working long after the others had put away their tools and the medical droids had processed a formal declaration of death. A clone medic, a man that laughed easily and smiled often, had grabbed her by the shoulder and said, “He’s gone.”

Barriss, weary from two straight days of trying to save hundreds of lives and furious at herself for failing, had elbowed him in the face after he refused her request to let her keep trying. She hadn’t meant to strike him, she had just been aiming to shake his hand off of her. Her intentions didn’t soften the blow.

The clone, to his credit, didn’t even so much as flinch while one of his fellows set his broken nose. He had just looked at her with sad eyes and told one of the other clones to fetch a shroud.

Now she was sitting in her room, staring into a cup of Mirialan wine, searching for answers.

The door slid open almost silently. Barriss didn’t look at who entered. She didn’t need to.

“Hello, Master,” Barriss said, taking a long drink.

Luminara walked in with a characteristically stern look on her face. “Hello, apprentice. I heard about an incident in the trauma bay earlier this evening.”

“I expected you would.”

“The chief medic swears up and down that he tripped down a flight of stairs while he was on his way to relieve you, which is curious since the only stairs in the station are in engineering.”

“I didn’t tell him to lie for me, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“I know you didn’t. I just thought you would like to know that the people you work with care about you, as do the people you aid.”

Barriss turned around in her seat and waited for Luminara to continue.

“I’m telling you this because I don’t understand why you would let your anger get the better of you. You’re better than that,” Luminara’s mouth said. “You _have_ to be better than _that,_ ” her narrowed eyes said.

“It was a momentary lapse brought about by extreme stress.” Barriss kept her gaze level. “It won’t happen again.”

Luminara shot a glance at the empty bottle sitting next to Barriss’ desk. She didn’t comment on it, which was somehow worse than any admonishment.

“I thought this would make me feel better,” Barriss said more to herself than to her Master.

Luminara frowned. “Did it?”

Barriss said nothing.

“I thought as much. The last few weeks have been difficult for everyone, yet you don’t see me punching clones, muttering curses under my breath whenever I think no-one can hear me, or drinking.” Her eyes grew hard. “Control yourself.”

And just like that, Barriss forgot that she wasn’t really in a medical station. She forgot the buzzing in her head wasn’t from wine. She forgot that the spots of dried blood on her clothes were imaginary. She forgot that she wasn’t actually speaking to Luminara.

One of the few things she didn’t forget was that she was ashamed of herself.

“I’m trying, Master.” She sounded far more desperate than she wanted to. “I’m _always_ trying.”

Luminara’s eyes softened, though not nearly enough to be reassuring. “I know you are, apprentice. You need to try harder. Every day the number of trained healers grows smaller, yet the number of wounded keeps rising.” She sighed. “We can’t afford momentary lapses. People die when we make mistakes.”

_Like the child._

_Like the Temple._

“The child’s death is a tragedy, but it was not your fault. You should not blame yourself for things that are outside of your control.”

“It is _my_ fault, Master!” Barriss hoped the tears welling in her eyes would go unnoticed. “He would be alive if I was just a little faster!”

Luminara’s composure broke just long enough for Barriss to see a flash of sorrow. “You cannot save everyone, Barriss.”

“I have to try! If I can’t save everyone, then why am I still alive?”

“Why do you ask that?”

Barriss kicked her chair away as she rose. “I have caused so much death and pain in my life! Why am I still alive if I cannot make up for it? Is this my punishment? Living with my mistakes?”

“You speak of the Temple.”

Those five words dragged Barriss back to reality. “How do you know of that?”

Luminara raised a brow. “You know none of this is real, Barriss, though it is based in memory. You know that _I_ am not real.”

“Yes.”

“I am sorry if you had tricked yourself into believing otherwise, even if it was for a moment.” Luminara gave a nearly imperceptible grin. “I am a little offended that in your moment of need, your first thoughts were of Ahsoka.”

The color drained from Barriss’ face. “I...”

“I am just joking, apprentice. I have been known to do that every decade or so.” Luminara levitated the chair into an upright position. “As for the Temple, your regret, your _guilt_ , is nearly overwhelming in its strength.”

Barriss sat back down in the chair. “I think about it every day, every night.”

“You have to let go,” Luminara said simply, as though she were chiding Barriss for holding onto a piece of scrap paper that should have been discarded.

“How?” Barriss asked with a sudden burst of hope. Perhaps this fragment of the Force would have answers she couldn’t find herself.

“I do not mean that you should simply pretend that the incident at the Temple never happened - your guilt is rightfully felt. You have to accept it.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“You need to acknowledge that what happened cannot be undone. You have to _live._ ”

“Now you sound like Ahsoka,” Barriss said.

“If I sound like Ahsoka, it is only because she is correct.” Luminara thought for a moment. “You will find what you seek.”

“You mean a kyber crystal?”

“That was not what I was speaking about, but you will find that as well.”

None of this made any sense. “What did you mean, then?”

“If you do not know, I cannot say.” Luminara bowed her head apologetically. “Some journeys must be taken alone.”

Barriss felt as though that was a lesson she would become increasingly familiar with in the future. “I understand.”

“I knew you would.” Luminara looked out at the swirling nebula that glowed in the distance. “Our time is almost over. You need to wake, eventually.”

Barriss nodded. “Thank you.”

“I do what I can. Know that Luminara was proud of you, in the end.”

“Even after what I had done?”

“Yes. Even then.” She spoke with such certainty that Barriss found it impossible to have doubt that she was telling anything other than the truth.

_Huh..._

Barriss willed herself to forget that Luminara was dead and she was talking to a figment of the Force. It was surprisingly easy after hearing her Master’s voice for the first time in nearly a year.

“I wanted to say...” Barriss took a deep breath and tried to find a way to put her feelings into words.

Luminara turned from the window and looked at Barriss quizzically.

“You always told me to avoid attachments and to control my emotions. I tried to do so, I really did. But, after all the years we spent together, I couldn’t help but... Ah, fuck it.” Barriss shrugged. “I loved you. You were my mother.”

Luminara frowned morosely. “I am not real, Barriss.”

Barriss tried to ignore the pain those words burned into her heart. _Of course_ she wasn’t real. _Of course_ Luminara would never hear her. _Of course_ Luminara had died before Barriss could ever tell her that she was more than just a teacher, that she was family.

“I don’t care. I needed to say it,” Barriss whispered.

Luminara stared at Barriss for some time, lost in thought.

Barriss knew that what she was about to say was beyond pathetic, but she didn’t let that stop the words.

“Could you humor me?” Barriss asked with hope. “Just... pretend like you’re real?”

Luminara continued to stare at her in silence.

“Please?” Her voice cracked.

Luminara nodded slowly. “Very well.” She cleared her throat, and spoke softly. “Lumi-... _I_... loved you. I know I seemed distant, even cold at times, but I never stopped caring about you. Everything I did was so that you could learn to become the greatest Jedi you could be.” Despite her earlier protestations, Luminara seemed to be struggling to keep herself calm. “You were my daughter.”

Barriss was well aware that she was just speaking to a figment of the Force conjured partially due to her own subconscious.

It wasn’t real. It never could be.

But it was close enough.

Barriss wiped tears she hadn’t felt fall off of her cheeks. She managed to say, “Thank you.”

Luminara laid a gentle hand on Barriss’ shoulder. “It’s time to wake up.”

“I know.” She swallowed. “I don’t want to.”

“You have to.” There was an undeniable finality in Luminara’s words.

“Goodbye,” Barriss said, placing her own hand over Luminara’s. “I’ll miss you.”

“And I will miss you. Farewell, Barriss. May the Force be with you.”

***

Barriss awoke with a rattling gasp that threatened to make her hack a lung out. Once she caught her breath, climbed off the ground, fixed her clothes, _and_ took a long, deep drink of water, she checked her chrono.

_Five hours since I sat down._

It seems that time flies when you’re reliving painful memories in an emotionally draining fashion.

_Who could’ve guessed?_

Barriss felt no hesitation as she dove back into the mine tunnels. She could practically hear the crystal singing to her through the Force, pulling gently, but insistently, at her core in a manner she hadn’t felt since she was a youngling. It would not be rejected.

She felt like the Holy City appeared in the Force: dead and alive.

When she finally found _her_ crystal in a small alcove filled with dozens of nearly identical ones, she wasted no time in chiselling it from the stone. When she was done, nails chipped and fingertips raw, she wrapped _her_ crystal in a strip of cloth she had brought specifically for this task, and she started the long walk home.

Funny. She just called the _Starshine_ home.

Best not tell Ahsoka about that one. The teasing would be _merciless._

***

“You almost shot me!” Chirrut grumbled as Baze pressed an ice pack to his bloodied lips.

This wasn’t the first time Baze heard those words, and he knew they wouldn’t be the last. “You’re welcome. Maybe you’ll think twice before rushing into a bar fight.”

“They were torturing someone!”

“They were stealing the leg off of a droid. One day you’re going to have to find a way to repay me for bailing you out all the time.”

Chirrut smiled in a way he knew Baze found charming. “Is my company not valuable enough?”

“Hmm... sometimes.” Baze pressed a gentle kiss to Chirrut’s hair. “Throw in fifty credits and you have a deal.”

Chirrut frowned melodramatically. “Has the great Baze Malbus fallen so far that he now clings to material possessions like a common thug?”

“Watch yourself, Îmwe. The great Baze Malbus has been practicing his unarmed combat.”

Chirrut laughed incredulously. “The great Baze Malbus would punch a blind man? Oh, what has this galaxy come to?”

_I sure know how to pick them._

Baze continued to tidy Chirrut up before the latter suddenly perked up. “Someone is coming. Most likely the Mirialan,” he said excitedly. “I’ve never met a Mirialan before. What do they look like?”

Baze grinned as he always did when Chirrut asked him to describe new species. “They’re very similar to Humans, but their skin is different shades of yellow or green. Many of them have religious tattoos on their hands and faces. They’re quite striking.”

“Green is the color of blood, is it not?”

Baze tsked. “You’re not tricking me into describing all of the colors again, Chirrut. That ship has flown.”

“You can’t blame me for trying.”

The Mirialan, Barriss Offee, if Baze could remember what the elder had told him when he and Chirrut had returned correctly, came down the front steps of the temple shortly after Chirrut finished speaking. She looked satisfied with herself, slightly upset, and _extremely_ exhausted.

“Hello, Barriss Offee,” Baze said, looking up at her. He hoped she didn’t carry ill will towards him for what happened earlier. “How did you fare in the mine?”

Barriss smiled, but it was strained. She was clearly hiding something. “It went well enough, I suppose. Who is this?”

Chirrut bowed his head. “Chirrut Îmwe, Guardian of the Whills. It is a pleasure to speak to someone who has faith in the Force.”

“It is.” Barriss looked up at the night sky. “The stars are beautiful tonight.”

“Yes, I can see that,” Chirrut said.

Barriss cocked a brow as Chirrut continued to stare blindly at the ground.

Baze snickered. “Forgive him. He gets sarcastic past his bedtime.”

Chirrut shrugged. “It’s true. I am glad you had good fortune.”

Barriss bowed. “I thank you. Give the elder my regards when you have the chance.”

“We shall,” Baze said. “Safe travels.”

Barriss bowed once more and disappeared into the Holy City’s winding streets.

“I heard about what she did at the Temple on Coruscant,” Chirrut said after she departed. “Does she have the face of a killer?”

“No, she has the face of someone who has seen too much.” Baze wrapped his arm around Chirrut’s shoulders. “Come inside. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

“Alright, but only because you asked me so nicely.”

***

Ahsoka turned the page of her holobook and checked the ship’s chrono.

_Eleven hours._

_That’s a little worrying._

Ahsoka told herself that she was being overprotective. Gatherings could take time. On Illum, they could occasionally last for days.

_We’re not on Illum. It should be as simple as waltzing into the mine and finding a crystal._

_...I may be getting a little too anxious._

In the time since Barriss had entered the Temple of the Khyber, Ahsoka had gone sightseeing, attempted to meditate in the desert to little success, bought a souvenir from a merchant, exercised in the middle of a surprise sandstorm, fixed a problem with the starboard landing gear, made a serviceable dinner, and read three chapters of a text regarding theories about the collapse of the Celestials. Needless to say, she was a little tired.

_No use waiting up for her._

Ahsoka closed the book and let out a massive yawn that painfully cracked her jaw. It seemed that it was time for sleep after all. Ahsoka powered down the ship entirely and wrapped herself in the robe Barriss had given her back in the city. It smelt faintly of wildflowers and spice, just like her hair. It was nice.

Ahsoka laid down on her bed and found that her breath turned to fog as soon as it hit the air. The ship’s insulation, it seemed, was no match for Jedha’s nights.

_I’m going to die._

A few minutes passed, and Ahsoka cocooned herself in the robe and her blanket in order to find some small modicum of warmth. It wasn’t much, but she was at least confident that Barriss wouldn’t return to find her frozen to death.

She had nearly drifted to sleep when Barriss, and a devastatingly icy gust of wind, entered the ship in tandem. Barriss apparently had a knack for comedic timing.

“Please, close the door,” Ahsoka murmured from inside her shelter. “Have mercy.”

Barriss jumped, startled that Ahsoka was still awake. “Oh, sorry.” She swiftly closed the door. “I’m back.”

“I can see that,” Ahsoka remarked. “How’d it-” Barriss flicked on a light by the ‘fresher, and Ahsoka saw just how _awful_ she looked. “Force, are you okay?”

“I found a crystal.” Barriss produced a small bundle and laid it on the workbench. “I’ll continue to work on the lightsaber in the morning. If everything goes correctly, I should be done by tomorrow night.”

_She sounds weak._

“That’s... great. I’m glad. Are you-”

Barriss continued, deaf to the world. “I can’t tell what color it’s going to be. I hope it’s blue, I did so like my previous one.”

_Something’s not right._

“I hope it’s blue, too. You don’t look so-”

“The Guardians are alive and well. They’ve just secluded themselves for mourning. The Purge.”

“That’s fantastic. What’s wro-”

Barriss took off her scarf and carefully folded it before placing it on a pile of discarded clothing. “My neck is in quite a lot of pain. The ground in the mine is not comfortable at all.”

“Why were you on the-”

Barriss started to rub her hands together, brushing something invisible off of her skin. “I should’ve brought gloves. I’ll get a pair next ti-”

“Barriss, _what is wrong?_ ”

Barriss looked up at Ahsoka, evidently noticing her presence for the first time. “Why do you ask that?”

Ahsoka sat up, still wrapped in blankets. “Do you want the reasons alphabetically or by severity?” Barriss didn’t so much as recognize the jab. “What happened?”

Barriss just stood there, open-mouthed. “I had a vision,” she finally said.

Fantastic. “About what?”

Barriss let out a long sigh. “Luminara.”

“What happened?” Ahsoka asked, breaking the silence that had covered the pair of them like a shroud.

“We talked. About the past. About the future.”

“Oh,” Ahsoka said without meaning to.

“I...” Barriss trailed off. “I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me. It wasn’t her, though. It wasn’t Luminara’s spirit. It was just a vision.” She opened and closed her hand slowly, grasping for something that wasn’t there. “It felt so real.”

“Are you alright?”

Barriss looked up at Ahsoka, and gave her the saddest smile she had ever seen. “No. I’m not.”

“I’m sorry,” Ahsoka said, opening her blankets.

Barriss’ expression was inscrutable. “What are you doing?”

Ahsoka wasn’t quite sure what possessed her to do what she did. Maybe it was the cold. Maybe it was some desire to make Barriss feel better. Maybe it was just a little bit of affection resurfacing, like it had the day before. Most likely it was a combination of all three.

“The ship is cold,” Ahsoka said, waving at the hunk of metal. “You’re cold. I’m cold. Come here.”

Barriss blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” She was thankful the ship was dark. Barriss probably couldn’t see the embarrassment on her face. Probably.

Barriss considered this turn of events in silence, shooting glances at the floor, the wall, the window, the control console. Pretty much everything except Ahsoka. If the door was still open, she probably would have studied different parts of the landscape.

“Are you sure?” she asked quietly.

Ahsoka wasn’t. “Only if it makes you feel better.”

Barriss walked over to the bed with some hesitation. She laid down on her side, her back to Ahsoka, and wrapped herself in the blankets. Neither of them said anything. Ahsoka heard Barriss’ breath slow to the point of being obviously asleep. Ahsoka took a deep breath that smelt of spices and wildflowers. Her last thought before falling asleep was one she found troubling.

_I could get used to this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I wanted to avoid going into specifics of how the Temple of the Khyber and the Guardians of the Whills are organized as much as possible.  
> 2) Barriss and Luminara are the perfect example of two people that simply aren't capable of telling others how much they care about them.  
> 3) Baze and Chirrut are the old married couple we deserve.


	13. Would It Be a Sin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Anakin and Barriss were both oblivious, Ahsoka makes peace, and Barriss finds a happy truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The first portion of this chapter deals with themes such as mental illness and self-destructive behaviors that may very well be upsetting to people sensitive to these subjects.

_“Come on, Barriss. Just you, me, an access card to Anakin’s personal gym locker, a modified training droid, a smoke grenade loaded with glitter and phosphorescents, two illegal fireworks, three cans of neon pink spray paint, and a pound of butter. It’ll be fun!”_

_\- Ahsoka, shortly before declaring a start to the “2nd Annual Tano-Skywalker Prank War”, 21 BBY_

**En Route to Coruscant, 20 BBY**

“Master, _please,_ ” Ahsoka begged with an all-too innocent flutter of her eyelashes.

Anakin was, as one would expect, unimpressed. “Really, Snips? You’re gonna pull the sad eye routine on the man that practically reinvented it for the modern world?”

“It was worth a shot, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, you poor, poor, misguided Padawan. That was a _miserable_ performance. Obi-Wan wouldn’t have even raised an eyebrow at that one!”

Ahsoka snorted incredulously. “What makes you think you could do a better job?”

Anakin grinned. “Watch this.” He took a moment to prepare himself mentally - this took a good deal of concentration and focus, then unleashed the Skywalker Special, certified by Padmé as a Strong Contender (her words, his capitalization) for the galaxy’s saddest face.

Ahsoka chuckled. “You’re telling me that _actually_ worked?”

How dare her. “How dare you. I’ll have you know this face-” He pointed at himself. “-once convinced the stoic Master Kenobi to let me watch the podraces when I was but a young lad of twelve.”

Ahsoka continued to laugh. “That might’ve worked when you were twelve, Master, but now it just looks like you’ve got something sour stuck in your mouth.”

“You’re not helping your case, Snips.” He held out a hand. “Pass the hydrospanner.”

Ahsoka grumbled to herself, but the tool was passed soon enough. “We’ve been doing maintenance for four hours. Our fighters are fine.”

“A lot of men gave up when their ship was 'fine', Padawan. A lot of those men ended up dead.” His face reflexively twisted in disgust. “I can still smell the sand in the upholstery.”

Ahsoka gave him her patented eye roll. “Rex and I _both_ told you that you shouldn’t have flown so close to the ground.”

“Yeah, you did. Took out that spider walker in half the time the original plan would have.”

“You were nearly decapitated by a piece of shrapnel! Artoo kept screaming for the better part of an hour!”

Anakin winced. “Yeah, that was unintentional. Poor li’l guy. I’ll have to get him an oil bath or two to make up for it.”

Ahsoka closed the maintenance panel she had been tinkering with. “There’s nothing left to fix, Master.”

“False. There’s always _something_ left to fix. Did you tune up the engines?”

“Four times.”

That was a freebie he had tossed her out of pity. “What about the cannons? Check the fuel gauge for misalignment? The docking ports for the hyperspace ring look a little beaten down. The throttle handling alright? Is Arseven detecting any software issues?”

Ahsoka sighed. “Check, check, the lighting and the paint scheme makes them look misshapen but they’re actually fine, tight as a Neimoidian’s grip on a credit, no.”

Anakin told himself that those were all pity freebies as well. “Well... good job. Keep on working.”

Ahsoka put her tools down as she sat on her fighter. “Master, _please_ , I just want to hang out with her for a little bit.”

Anakin was tempted to tease her about how her desire to see Barriss was starting to sound almost like a crush, but the very notion was too ridiculous to voice. “I know you do, but this is important stuff we’re doing here. Imagine how I would feel if you got yourself blown up because I let you slack on your ship.”

Ahsoka groaned. “Master, the day I die because of a poor work ethic is the day Coruscant goes down in a ‘nova.”

“Don’t push your luck, Snips. Let’s check the droid sockets again.”

Ahsoka very nearly _growled_. “Master, c’mon. It’s 0900, we’re gonna exit hyperspace in a half hour.”

Anakin found himself feeling sympathetic. “Then you’ll get to see her when we get back to the Temple.”

“For, like, ten minutes before she goes to bed!”

“Then you’ll see her tomorrow.”

“No, I won’t!” Ahsoka started to sound strangely desperate. “With the way our schedules line up, I won’t see her for at least two weeks.”

Anakin looked up from his work and found a truly _masterful_ expression of sadness on Ahsoka’s face. Damn her.

“Convince me,” he said.

Ahsoka perked up as soon as the words reached her montrals. “I’ll do a full diagnostics break down of my fighter first thing tomorrow.”

“And?”

“I’ll help you work on the _Twilight_ , too.”

“And?”

“I’ll go on some of those midnight jogs you’re always badgering me about.”

“And?”

“I’ll, uh, actually fill out my Archive reports properly.” She winced. “No shorthand.”

“None?”

“None.”

“And?”

“”I’ll brush up on my Mando’a and my Huttese.”

“Aaaaannnnnndddddd?”

Ahsoka gulped. “I’ll tell Master Windu you had no choice but to modify the orders you were given.”

Anakin’s eyes widened. “You will?”

Ahsoka made a face that indicated she deeply regretted adding that one. “Yes. I’ll put it in my debriefing file.”

Self-sacrifice, thy name is Snips. “Okay. Get going, but don’t stay up too late!”

Ahsoka whooped. “Thanks, Skyguy, you're the best!” She jumped off her fighter and started to run out of the hangar.

“Wait!” Anakin yelled. “No shenanigans! Not one!”

Ahsoka gave him a thumbs up and continued to run.

“Hold up! I forgot I need to ask Luminara!”

Ahsoka spun on her heels. “WHAT!?”

“HOLD UP, I HAVE TO ASK LUMINARA FIRST!” he screamed.

Ahsoka screamed back, “SHE ALREADY SAID YES!”

“YOU WENT TO HER BEHIND MY BACK!?”

“I DID!”

“WHEN YOU GET BACK, YOUNG LADY, YOU ARE _SO_ GROUNDED!”

“IT WAS WORTH IT!” She ran down a corridor.

Anakin knew that he wouldn’t actually ground her. He also knew that he would hold her to two of her promises at the very most, but he would never tell her that. Better to let her sweat a little.

***

Barriss opened the door to her quarters with some trepidation - she had made it quite clear that she didn’t want to be disturbed unless it was necessary, so _clearly_ the only possibility someone was knocking was because of some unfortunate catastrophe.

That unfortunate catastrophe turned out to be Ahsoka, bless her. “Hey, Barriss!”

Barriss felt the nearly perpetual fog in her head clear. “Oh, hello, Ahsoka. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, silly! I just wanted to see you!”

Barriss smiled. Ahsoka would say that, wouldn’t she? “That’s very kind. It’s nice to see you, too.”

Ahsoka beamed. “I was wondering if you wanted to come look at Coruscant with me, we should be arriving soon!”

The two of them had seen Coruscant hundreds of times in all sorts of conditions yet Ahsoka never stopped finding it special. It was endearing and just a _tiny_ bit irksome.

“I don’t know,” Barriss said. “I was going to finish up my debriefing for the Council.” She gestured at the datapad laying next to her cot.

Ahsoka didn’t break stride. “Aw, the Council barely reads those anyway, and you’re always working so hard! They won’t mind if yours is a _little_ late! Or, in your case, less early than usual.”

“I suppose it could wait until tomorrow,” Barriss said.

Ahsoka’s smile somehow grew wider. “Great!”

Barriss ran a hand through her hair. “Let me get my headscarf. Feel free to come in.”

Barriss felt Ahsoka’s toes clipping at her heels as the latter bounded inside after her. “Awesome!”

_Someone needs to give this girl a tranquilizer every now and again._

Ahsoka wasted no time on something as petty as “asking for permission” or “respecting boundaries.” Barriss heard her journal open mere seconds after she started to look for her clothing.

“Hey,” Barriss snapped, “that’s private!”

Ahsoka flipped to the entry for the day of their assignment. “Relax, Barriss! I’m just trying to compare notes!”

Barriss found her scarf. “That’s not just a notebook, Ahsoka! Put it down!”

Ahsoka stopped perusing but it definitely wasn’t due to Barriss’ demands. She turned the journal towards Barriss, revealing a drawing of a Togruta standing on a pile of battle droid parts, lightsaber raised high in the air. A bleach-blonde clone stood in the background with a look of awe on his face. A Human with more than a passing resemblance to Anakin was swooning near the bottom of the pile.

_Oh Gods, no._

“Is...” Ahsoka’s smile grew so wide Barriss feared a nerve was about to snap. “...Is that _me!?_ ”

“No,” Barriss said too quickly.

Ahsoka flipped the page, revealing a second drawing of the Togruta ripping the head off of a droideka with her bare hands. “That _is_ me! I remember doing that after Rex hit ‘em with some droid poppers.” She beamed.

Ahsoka continued to flip through, marveling at the countless doodles and sketches Barriss had filled the pages with.

Barriss snatched the journal from Ahsoka’s hands and snapped it shut. “That’s enough!”

If Ahsoka was upset, she didn't show it. “I never knew you thought so highly of me!” she exclaimed. “How many?”

“Just those two,” Barriss lied.

Ahsoka’s smile became rather knowing. “It’s more than that, isn’t it?”

Barriss flushed from irritation and embarrassment. “There may be a few more.”

Ahsoka laughed. “Man, I was hoping for at least twenty. I really have to step my game up, huh?”

Barriss put her scarf on. “Let’s go already.”

“Sure, I know the perfect spot!”

***

Ahsoka lead the way through winding halls and twisting passages until the pair of them arrived at a small loading bay near the very front of the ship. The room was lightless save for the bright blue-white glow of hyperspace that was radiating from outside the viewport.

“Here we are,” Ahsoka announced with a flourish. “Normally these rooms are loaded down with extra supplies and ammo crates, but this one’s empty!” She stepped on a loose bundle of cable. “Well, almost empty.”

Barriss looked out the window. “It’s great, Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka produced the Naboo apple she had snagged from the mess hall earlier. “Hungry?”

Barriss gave that _adorable_ shy smile she always had when Ahsoka surprised her. Ahsoka found herself thinking that she would duel Dooku, Ventress and Grievous all by herself if it meant she would never stop smiling like that. It was great when she was cheerful, much better than the increasingly more common days when she would spend too many minutes just staring out the window with a blank expression on her face, dead to the world.

There were other days when Barriss could barely sit still. Hours training with her lightsaber until the blade wavered with each ragged breath, hours frantically studying until her hands cramped and her eyes ached, hours pushing her body to the point she could barely stand, hours doing anything and everything she could.

The rare times when Barriss would put on a fake air of indifference and act like everything was normal despite the nearly invisible Force-healed cuts and scrapes on her arms and knees were the most troubling.

“I’d offer to share it with you,” Barriss said, taking a tender bite of the apple, “but I’m sure you’d regret that later on.”

“I’ll pass,” Ahsoka replied. “So, the battle went well, didn’t it? An entire droid strike force wiped out, a city saved.” She grinned. “No-one died!”

Ahsoka knew that Barriss normally hated discussing things such as battles regardless of their outcomes, yet her smile didn’t fade.

“No-one died,” Barriss echoed. “It was nothing short of a miracle, all thanks to our Masters and you.”

Barriss’ habit of self-deprecation was lately starting to cross the line from standard Jedi humility to something worse. Ahsoka wondered why nobody, not even Luminara, noticed what was going on.

Maybe Barriss felt comfortable enough around her to let the facade slip. It was unlikely she was even aware that Ahsoka could watch the cracks spreading.

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Ahsoka said. “Rex would’ve died if you hadn’t pulled him out of the ocean.”

Barriss’ shoulders tensed. “He had his helmet on and his suit was sealed. He could’ve been underwater for another day.”

“I saw some of the fish in that sea, Barriss. He _would_ have died if _you_ didn’t save him. He told you that himself. You did good.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. You’re a hero.” She patted Barriss on the arm. “You’ve saved a lot of lives, more than I ever will. There’s no other Padawan I’d rather have on my side in a fight.”

Barriss’ levity vanished so swiftly it might as well have never graced her face. “You think I’m good in a fight?”

“I saw you take on that magnaguard, he didn’t stand a chance.”

Barriss’ nails dug into the apple. “I don’t want to be good in a fight. I don’t want to hurt people.”

“None of us want to hurt people, this is war. Sometimes we have to.”

The apple snapped in half. “We _never_ have to hurt _anyone._ There’s always a choice. I thought you would have learned that by now.”

“I’m sorry,” Ahsoka said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Barriss calmed herself too quickly to be healthy. “I know you didn’t. I’m... tired. I need to spend a few days at the Temple and unwind.”

“Aren’t you doing heavy Archive work for the next week and a half? I’d hardly call that relaxing.”

“It’s quite restful, I assure you. If I keep working, keep moving, I can forget.”

“Forget what?”

Barriss appeared quite shocked that Ahsoka had picked up on that. “Nothing. It was just a turn of phrase.”

“Barriss, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Ahsoka said, “but I’m here for you. You can trust me.”

Barriss smiled.

Ahsoka thought that Barriss did a lot of things prettily. The way she laughed, the way she narrowed her eyes when she had been working with a datapad too long, the way she assured patients in the medbay that everything would be okay, the way she held her lightsaber when she was about to deflect a blaster bolt, the way she rubbed her arm when she was nervous, the way she scolded Ahsoka for making too much noise in the gardens, and, most of all, the way she smiled.

This particular expression, this facsimile of happiness, didn’t reach her eyes. It was ugly.

“It’s sweet of you to worry,” Barriss said. “I’m fine. Really. Don’t look at me like that, I’m telling the truth.”

Better not to press the issue and ruin the night.

“If you say so.”

They started to chat about minor things. Amusing incidents involving the younglings at the Temple. Modifications being made to the clone armor. Rumors of the Council’s upcoming plans. New classes being offered to Padawans. Quinlan Vos’s latest escapades in Separatist territory. The usual conversation topics on a late spaceflight.

The ship exited hyperspace just as abruptly as it had entered, trading the blue-white swirls for the bright orange glow of Coruscant’s endless metropolis.

Ahsoka let whatever she was about to say leave her mind as they simply watched the city live. Seeing the galaxy’s capital reduced to brilliant lines of orange and yellow tended to put things in perspective. The little things didn’t matter as much.

“It never gets old,” Ahsoka remarked.

“It got old for me years ago,” Barriss said. “I’m grateful you still find it enjoyable.” She checked her chrono as the ship pulled in closer. “I should go pack my things. Take care, Ahsoka.”

“Barriss, I’m glad you’re my friend,” Ahsoka told her as she started to leave.

Barriss was a little more than a friend - had been for months - and Ahsoka would not tell her. Not yet. Not while the war was still raging. Not while they had expectations to meet, Masters to learn from, a Code to follow.

Telling her now would be cruel, a sin. Telling her now would be throwing one more problem on top of a mountain of worries. Ahsoka valued her friendship too much to let her own emotions put it at risk.

One day, if Ahsoka found that this attraction was more than a teenager’s crush, when they were both older and wiser, she would see if Barriss reciprocated.

For now, for always, she would be her friend.

Barriss’ smile seemed real enough when she responded. “I’m glad you’re my friend. Would you like to spar next time we’re both free?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Barriss left and Ahsoka was alone.

It was alright.

She was used to being alone.

“ _Snips, you done? We gotta get ready for the Temple asap._ ”

Ahsoka smiled.

She wasn’t really alone.

***

**Jedha**

Barriss awoke to the sound of snoring in her ear and the feeling of an arm around her waist.

Neither of those surprised her.

What did surprise her was her own reaction. There was no fight-or-flight, no shame, no embarrassment, no itching under her skin, no voice screaming about how wrong it was.

She was... content. Not just amused or briefly joyful or less empty than usual. Truly content for the first time in... well... months, at the least.

It was nothing less than miraculous.

She stuck a hand out of the blankets and found the air was sharp, icy. It was nice in its own way. Barriss always enjoyed the dichotomy of warmth and cold that came with being in bed on a chilly morning. The covers were soft and pleasingly hot. Even Ahsoka’s snoring had a gentle rhythm.

Speaking of Ahsoka, she was snuggling closer to Barriss with a pleased sigh. Force, it nearly sounded like a _purr._

Barriss realised, quite suddenly, that she liked that sigh. She liked the arm that was so strong and soft, tight and gentle, protective and comforting.

_I could get used to this._

_I_ want _to get used to this._

_Platonic cuddling is a thing, right?_

_Friends do that all the time._

Certainly she had read something along those lines in a holonovel once. Certainly.

She was pretty sure that novel ended in a kiss, now that she thought about it. Not the best example.

“Ahsoka?” Barriss asked.

“Mmm?”

“Are you awake?”

“Mhm...”

“I need to get some water.”

“Mhm.”

Ahsoka let go of her with a sluggishness that could not possibly be solely due to drowsiness.

Reluctance.

Barriss got out of bed with a yawn, stretched her arms, and gasped when her bare feet touched the floor of the ship.

_We need carpets._

Ahsoka’s next snore sounded suspiciously amused.

She got her water, prayed it wouldn’t be as cold as the floor, and smiled internally as it went down only slightly freezing. That done, she went to the workbench and unwrapped her crystal, marveling at its radiance. Even here, several miles away from the mine, it sparkled and glowed in the early morning light. Its song was a gentle melody ringing in her ears and settling in her core.

She considered the hilt. Only a few mechanisms to craft, only a few parts to graft together, then she would feel that old familiar weight at her side once more.

She wasn’t going to let anyone take that from her again.

She shivered as she finally started to realise just how _cold_ it was in the ship. Force, it was a small wonder they both hadn’t frozen to death in the middle of the night.

She picked up one of the tools, a miniature fusioncutter better suited for the inner workings than its larger counterpart, and rubbed her thumb over the power switch. She was tempted to start now.

If she did that, Ahsoka would wake up, the air would start to grow thick with fumes and the smell of ozone and _sweet blastin’ Force_ , she was too cold and tired to be bothered with that now.

She looked back at the blankets, back at Ahsoka.

They were both warm and soft.

So she wrapped the crystal back up, set the fusioncutter down, and padded over to the bed.

“Ahsoka?”

“Mmm?” An eye lazily opened.

“I’m cold.” Great. Now it sounded like she was asking for permission - permission for what, she wasn’t quite certain.

“Mhm.” Ahsoka opened the blankets.

Barriss waited for Ahsoka to continue. She did not.

Barriss crawled back into bed, pulled the blankets around herself, and noticed that she was waiting for Ahsoka to wrap her arm back around her.

“Ahsoka?”

“Mmm?”

There was no right way to phrase this. “Could you?” she asked slowly.

Barriss could hear Ahsoka’s sleepy grin. “Mhm.”

The arm returned just as soft and tight as before. “Thanks.”

“Mhm.”

“Can I... ask you something?” she said to one of the pillows.

“...Mhm.”

“How do you do it?”

“Mmm?”

“How do you still like me? I don’t know if I would be able to do what you’re doing if the positions were reversed.”

Ahsoka actually used words this time. They came slow and deliberate, each syllable a struggle under the shroud of sleep.

“You probably couldn’t,” Ahsoka said. “You’re too small to be the big spoon.”

Barriss blushed. “I’m not-... Yeah, you’re right. That's not what I meant.”

“As far as liking you goes, you’re... soft,” she said in a way that told Barriss she hadn’t meant to say it at all. “You’re kind. You’re clever. You’ve made mistakes and you’re trying to make up for them.” She paused. “You’re a great friend.”

No past tense. No “you _were_ my friend”. No “We _used_ to be friends”.

Barriss did not grin like an idiot, but it was a close struggle.

Some quiet, dark part of her mind told her that she didn’t deserve this.

Barriss ignored it.

“Thanks,” she said, hoping that she didn’t sound overly sentimental.

“Mhm.”

Barriss let her hand trail down to the one at her waist. Their fingers touched.

Neither pulled away.

***

Ahsoka sat down on the red desert sand with her coat zipped around her chest and Barriss’ cloak wrapped around her neck and shoulders. It actually did a pretty decent job keeping her upper body warm, and it filled every breath she took with that flowery, spicy scent.

She sighed.

 _I am_ so _screwed._

This wasn’t like the crush used to feel. This didn’t feel like the sort of thing that would blow over in a month or two or three if she kept her distance and watched herself.

It was frightening and intoxicating at the same time.

She liked Barriss, obviously. Smart as a whip, a sense of humor drier than the desert she was sitting on, generous, kindhearted, diligent, always ready to lend a hand.

Things weren’t like before. Barriss had caused Ahsoka _so much_ pain and heartache those last few days on Coruscant. So much so that Ahsoka had once thought that she would never be able to feel anything but anger towards her, let alone join her on this crazy journey across the galaxy.

She wanted to forgive her. She really did. She wanted to climb to the top of the highest mountain and scream, “Barriss Offee has changed!” She wanted to repeat it over and over again until Barriss could finally understand that she wasn’t the monster she thought she was.

Enough of that. She didn’t come here to mope. She came here to give Barriss space to build her lightsaber and clear her own mind.

Ahsoka crossed her legs, laid her hands in her lap, and closed her eyes.

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

_In. Out._

_In._

_Out._

She let the thoughts that were troubling her - Barriss, forgiveness, her own feelings - slip from her mind.

She reached out in the Force and probed the world around her. She could feel the lizards burrowing in their dens underground. She could feel the wind beneath the wings of birds as they circled in search of their next meal. She could feel insects slip in between their rocks in search of shelter. She could feel the sand lift and twirl in the air as it was caught by a breeze.

Moments like these reminded Ahsoka why the Force was such a gift.

She focused on these connections, drowned herself in them, let them take over her mind, let them sink into her limbs and roll over her skin. She was no longer just Ahsoka. She was the lizards, she was the birds, she was the insects, she was each individual grain of sand floating in the wind.

She was Jedha. She was the clouds in the sky and the shadows on the ground.

Time passed in a blur and it moved at a glacial pace. Minutes passed in the span of a heartbeat, seconds lasted years.

Ahsoka found herself thinking about the path she had taken to get to this place. She thought about the friends she had made, the people she had lost. She thought about the nights on Coruscant, after she had left the Order, when she worked hour after hour just to keep her ribs from meeting her spine. She thought of the countless minutes she had spent preparing and training herself for the worst.

A sandstorm rolled in but she wasn’t surprised. She didn’t move as it howled around her montrals, didn’t flinch as it scratched her and whipped into her sleeves.

She thought of why the Force had fated that she should live while so many had died. Perhaps it was a twist of fate. No, _fuck_ fate. It wasn’t fate that let Palpatine seize power, it wasn’t fate that killed her friends, it wasn’t fate that tore down the Jedi, clouded and fallen though they were.

It wasn’t fate. It was men and women with evil thoughts and black hearts that had done this to the galaxy. Flesh and blood had enslaved countless worlds, not some abstract concept as petty as _fate._

And, by the Force, Ahsoka _was not_ going to let them get away with it unopposed. Not while she still lived.

It was said that Anakin Skywalker was the Chosen One - the singular person that could, at long last, bring balance to the Force and usher in peace and prosperity.

She wasn’t Anakin Skywalker. She wasn’t the Chosen One. But she could still make a difference. Every revolution, every act of rebellion needed a starting point, a first spark.

Ahsoka Tano could be the fulcrum that movement needed. A guiding hand to strike back at the Empire and break the chains of the Sith.

To do that, she needed to let go. She needed to accept that nothing would ever be the same and that the past was always going to be just a memory. She needed to move on with her life.

She needed to forgive.

Ahsoka rose, caked in sand, and she walked back to her ship, filled with righteous determination for the first time since she and Maul had crossed blades.

***

Barriss closed the outer casing of her lightsaber with a silent prayer to the Force.

She had done everything correctly, excepting one or two minor shocks from loose wires or cuts from sharpened metal, it should work.

She held the hilt in her hand cautiously, giving it one last examination for any defect or potential problem that could cause a failure or injury.

It was slightly longer than her previous lightsaber, narrower as well. She was pleased with herself for managing to make such a proper cylinder using the admittedly shoddy tools she could find.

She ran her fingers along the black metal, eager for confirmation that she wasn’t about to set off a kyber-powered grenade when she turned it on. She was glad to find her predictions had been vindicated.

 _This_ will _work._

She held the hilt in both hands and ignited _her_ lightsaber.

A pale ice-blue, nearly white, blade rose from the end of the hilt with a painfully bright flash of light Barriss had never seen from any other lightsaber - probably a minor flaw with the emitter matrix. Eyes watering, she watched, enthralled, as the light faded until the blade gave off the same level of illumination as a normal saber should.

_Instead of a kyber grenade I made a kyber flashbang._

That could be useful. An element of surprise was always helpful in a fight, whether it be a lightsaber duel or a showdown against stormtroopers.

Barriss stood and levitated a small stick she had found in the desert into the air at the same height of her head. She assumed the Soresu opening stance and prepared to strike.

_Time for the real test._

Ahsoka choose that moment to enter, covered in sand. She took in the sight with as much amusement as Barriss would’ve expected.

“Y’know,” she said, “you fighting a piece of wood isn’t even the fifth strangest thing I’ve ever walked into.”

“Sandstorm?” Barriss asked, blade raised.

Ahsoka looked down at herself and shrugged, spilling more sand on the floor. “Sure as hell wasn’t rain.” She smiled. “I like the color, it suits you.”

“I think it does.” She turned her attention back to the stick. “Stand back.”

Barriss swung her blade in an overhead strike. It clashed against the stick, cracking it slightly and burning a black scorch mark into the wood. Wisps of smoke floated away, yet the stick remained, for the most part, intact. Barriss turned the lightsaber off.

Ahsoka stepped towards the still levitating stick. “Looks like there might be a problem with the power supply.”

“Actually,” Barriss said, smiling, “it’s perfect.”

“How do you figure that?”

Barriss rubbed her thumb over the ignition switch. “I limited the power on purpose. I’m not killing _anyone_ ever again unless if it’s in the defense of someone else.” She twisted the hilt around, revealing a second, smaller switch near the bottom of the main ignition. “I can set it to use full power in a pinch, but only for short bursts of time. Watch this.”

She ignited the lightsaber again, this time with her eyes closed. Ahsoka yelped at the flash and raised a hand to shield herself.

“Sithspit!” Ahsoka exclaimed. “You could have warned me! Is that another ‘feature’?”

How Ahsoka always managed to make it perfectly clear she was using air quotes solely through speech was another enigma Barriss feared she would never solve.

“The flash is unintentional.” She fought to keep a straight face. “Not warning you was for fun.”

Barriss pressed the second switch. The blade became brighter and hummed with a deeper rumble than before. When she hit the stick again, it was cleaved in two. She let the pieces fall to floor as she turned off her lightsaber.

“You always find a way to impress,” Ahsoka said, shrugging off her coat. “I was meditating in the desert.”

“Any success?”

“Plenty.” Her posture grew relaxed. “I’ve decided that you weren’t the only one that needs to move on.”

“What do you mean?”

“I... I wanted to forgive you for the Temple, ever since you picked me up off of Mandalore.” She licked her lips. “I couldn’t do it. I guess a part of me was afraid that if I forgave you, it would be the same as pretending that none of it had ever happened, and all of those people that were hurt would have ceased to exist.”

Barriss nearly dropped her lightsaber. Thankfully, she still had the presence of mind to loop it back onto her belt.

“I realised that I was being held back by the past as much as you were. If we don’t live for the ones that died all of this would have been for nothing. If we spend all our lives trying to fix the past, we might as well just drop dead now. All we can do is keep moving forward. If we do that, then all of this heartache, all of this pain, might be worth it in the end.” She looped her thumbs on her own belt. “What I’m trying to say... is that... I forgive you.”

Barriss’ mind went blank. “Really?”

“Yes.” Ahsoka offered a hand, presumably for a shake. “Partners?”

Barriss didn’t take Ahsoka’s hand. She ran up to her and embraced her in as tight a hug as she was capable of.

Ahsoka was surprised to be on the receiving end for once, and it took her a few moments to notice that she was just standing there with her hands in the air. She embraced Barriss in return and rested her chin on the top of her head.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Ahsoka said.

“You’re kriffin’ right on that one,” Barriss said into her chest. “What do we do now?”

“We take the fight to the Empire. We find people that need help and we make it so that they can win. We remind the galaxy that there’s still someone looking out for them.”

“I like your optimism.”

“You always do.” Ahsoka pulled back to look Barriss in the eyes. “Any ideas?”

Barriss could get lost in those pools of water if she let herself. She wanted to, but now wasn’t the time.

“We need to find an ongoing rebellion too far from major trade routes and the Core to warrant a full, dedicated military operation. We need supplies to bring as well. Weapons, bacta, the essentials.” She paused. “I’m afraid the only contacts I had outside the Order that could possibly do that are all back on Coruscant.”

“Same here. Ol’ Dex would’ve been able to help. I guess we just need to find some criminals willing to sell us stuff.”

“Wait, don’t you know that pirate on Florrum?”

Ahsoka laughed incredulously. “Barriss, are you really telling me that you want to put our trust in Hondo ‘attempted murder is my way of saying hello’ Ohnaka?”

“I suppose we could just do your plan. I’m sure Black Sun will be in a charitable mood this time of the standard year.”

Ahsoka sighed. “Well, better the devil you know.” Her smile was crooked from a sudden rush of embarrassment. “I’d really like to get in the shower,” she ran a hand over a sandy lek, “and that would be a lot easier if you let go of me.”

_Ah, yes._

Barriss broke the hug. “Right again. I think we should set off now.”

Ahsoka grinned as she walked into the ‘fresher, unwrapping Barriss’ robe from her shoulders. “Why not? I can’t wait to see the look on his face when we burst in!”

Barriss rubbed her thumb over her lightsaber as she plotted a course for Florrum, and she couldn’t help but grin.

For the first time in _so long,_ she had hope.

She wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from her without a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Anakin, they're lesbians. You'd think a man that spent an entire war secretly married would be better at spotting signs of suppressed affection  
> 2) This won't be the last time Barriss feels humiliated because of her diary drawings  
> 3) Barriss' attack on the Temple wasn't something that happened over night, it was the culmination of a years-long mental breakdown that was finally pushed past the breaking point  
> 4) I think a lot of people in the Star Wars universe could benefit from learning to let go  
> 5) Enter Barriss Offee, the woman who won't kill you, but has no problems sending you to the hospital if she has to.  
> 6) This chapter's title comes from one of my favorite songs, "Can't Help Falling in Love"


	14. Of Pirates & Padawans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ahsoka becomes very angry, Barriss puts down a mutiny, and Hondo is his usual charming self.

_“This is just another day at the office, boys.”_

_\- Captain Rex, after dousing Anakin Skywalker after the latter had been set on fire by a droid attack, 21 BBY_

**Florrum**

The base of the Ohnaka Gang was somehow more rundown than Ahsoka remembered. Twisted wreckage from any number of incidents littered the ground on the way towards the base, which was in a state of barely habitable disrepair.

_Guess us decent people aren’t the only ones that are having trouble._

That wasn’t entirely fair. Hondo may be a drunken pirate who would kidnap someone if he thought he could make a handful of credits, but he had a code of honor, twisted though it was.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Ahsoka said as they approached the front of the base, shaking her head.

“I can.” Barriss unclipped her lightsaber from her belt. “How do you want to go about this?”

“Hondo may have done some awfully... awful things in the past, but he’s actually fairly reasonable if he can smell a deal to be made.” She thought of the incident with the younglings. “Deep down, he’s kind of a pushover when it comes to some things, like children.” Ahsoka unclipped her own lightsaber, leaving the shoto at her side. “I think we can charm our way in.”

“Yes. Let’s.”

They strode up to the front door of the base with an air of confidence that could only come from knowing half of your enemies were most likely dead drunk.

Ahsoka pounded on the door twice while Barriss prepared for any resistance.

The door swung open a crack. A large Weequay’s face appeared in the gap with a sneer on his lips and a furrow on his brow. “We ain’t takin’ no more refugees, buying or otherwise. Find some other rock to run to.”

Barriss held her hilt in the air. “Sir, we’re not refugees.”

Ahsoka flashed her own hilt. “We have some pressing business with your boss. You should probably take us to him.”

The Weequay’s sneer grew stronger, but a glint in his eyes betrayed a spark of fear. “I... don’t really think that’s a good idea.” He started to shut the door.

Barriss waved her hand in the typical gesture of a mind trick. “Actually, you think that’s a _great_ idea. You think you should take us right away.”

Ahsoka grinned as the pirate engaged in an internal battle with his own mind. “I... think... that’s... a _great_ idea!” He opened the door the rest of the way. “Come on in!”

“You’re too kind, my good man,” Barriss said with a polite bow of her head. Ahsoka couldn’t help but laugh.

“Quite right, you’re a credit to pirates everywhere,” Ahsoka added.

“Oh, it’s my pleasure, ma’am.” The pirate led them through darkened passages into one of the main common areas of the pirate base.

 _Huh. Looks like times_ have _gotten tough._

The place was more... deserted than Ahsoka remembered. Also a lot more ruinous - full scale droid attacks tended to do that. There were scores of pirates loitering about, but definitely less than before. The shelves were nearly devoid of alcohol and the handful of meals scattered around tables were simple and most likely cheap. Sunlight streamed in through the dozens of holes in the roof, giving the whole building the sort of vibe Ahsoka normally associated with long lost temples featured in archaeological documentaries.

“Hello, boss!” the pirate leading the pair exclaimed cheerfully to the entire room. “We’ve got two Jedi here to see you!”

A figure sitting at a bar slumped forward with a mighty sigh. “That wasn’t funny the first ten times you did that, and it’s not funny the twentieth.” Though his words were slurred, there was no mistaking  who it was.

“Hello, Hondo,” Ahsoka called. “Got a sec?”

At the sound of her voice Hondo immediately swiveled around in his seat. “I know that self-righteousness anywhere.”

Ahsoka anticipated a wide range of reactions from Hondo, the most likely being annoyance or anger. She did not expect him to laugh pleasantly while flashing her a genuinely happy grin.

“I’ll be damned if it isn’t Arsmoka Tahna!” he said, raising his cup of ale in salute. The bags under his eyes, clearly visible through his darkened goggles, wrinkled as he spoke, making him seem years older in the dim light.

“That... was almost my name,” Ahsoka replied, confused.

“Well, he seems happy to see us,” Barriss remarked, checking the surrounding pirates for any signs of aggression. The few that took interest in their arrival showed nothing but idle curiosity.

“He does. That is odd.”

Hondo stood up and opened his arms in a welcoming gesture that would have been more fitting if he was a used starship salesman. “And who is this?”

“I’m Barriss, Ahsoka’s friend. I’ve heard a lot about you, Hondo,” Barriss answered.

“All horrible things, I’m sure.” He turned his gaze to the pirate that brought them. “Get back to your post. I’ll take it from here.”

The pirate, still smiling dully from the effects of Barriss’ mind trick, gave an awkward salute before sprinting back to his place with a spring in his step.

Ahsoka looked at the miscellaneous stains and tears in Hondo’s coat and shirt. He smelt unwashed, which wasn’t unexpected, and his teeth were yellowed. “Grievous didn’t leave you much, did he?”

Hondo laughed. “Nope. Joke’s on him, Obi-Wan never killed _me._ ” He stepped closer towards the pair of them, sloshing ale with every step. “What brings you to my little slice of the galaxy?”

Barriss cocked a brow. “You seem awfully pleased to see us.”

Hondo held a finger up as he drained the rest of his ale. “Anyone that’s an enemy of the Empire, especially a Jedi, is a friend of mine nowadays.” He flashed another grin at Ahsoka. “Besides, it’s always great to see a familiar face!”

Apparently Hondo was under the impression that they had developed some sort of friendship during their time together.

_You are a very strange man._

“The last time we met, you kidnapped me, tried to steal my lightsabers, and almost left me to die,” Ahsoka muttered, scowling.

“Ah, but I never _did_ steal your lightsabers or let you die! The kidnapping is fair enough. Can’t blame a guy for trying to make a living.” He reached out to clap Ahsoka on the shoulder.

Ahsoka dodged the hand with a sidestep that would have knocked Barriss to the floor if the latter hadn’t sensed the movement.

Hondo took the avoidance in stride. “Ha! Look, that’s all ancient history now, isn’t it? If I don’t feel bad for it, you shouldn’t feel bad!”

“Why would I-” Ahsoka started.

“We’re here with a business proposal,” Barriss said, cutting her off to avoid any potential argument.

Hondo’s smile took on a decidedly greedy quality. He tossed his cup onto an unoccupied table and rubbed his hands together in preparation. “Is that so? What do you two think you have that I could possibly want?” he asked, shooting glances at their hilts.

“Don’t even _think_ about it, Ohnaka.” Ahsoka put her thumb on the ignition. “We’re here to buy.”

Hondo’s smile twisted into a frown. “You two don’t strike me as the types that would be interested in spice. What _do_ you need?”

“Enough weapons to help arm a militia to rise against the Empire,” Ahsoka said.

“And enough bacta to sterilize a small town,” Barriss added.

Hondo waited for the punchline of their nonexistent joke. “Oh,” he said after a beat. “Oh, spast, you’re _serious,_ aren’t you?”

Ahsoka nodded. “Deadly.”

Hondo shook his head in disbelief. “You two got style, I’ll give you that. I might have what you need.” He pointed at a candlelit table. “First things first, you thirsty?”

“If you try anything funny, I’ll stab you somewhere you won’t like,” Ahsoka threatened.

***

Barriss sipped from her ale, trying her best not to show her disgust.

Ahsoka wasn’t fooled for a second.

“These are pirates, Barriss,” she said. “They won’t be offended if you let them know their drinks are bad.”

“I’m just trying to be a good guest,” came Barriss’ ridiculous reply.

“A good guest to... pirates?”

“Honestly, I’m a little worried they’ll start shooting if we give them any excuse.”

Hondo returned from his conversation with one of his men with a pleased face. “So,” he said, propping his boots up on the table as he sat, “what exactly are you two planning on doing?”

“Help overthrow the Empire one planet at a time. Y’know, the usual,” Ahsoka answered.

“All in a day’s work,” Barriss chimed in.

Hondo took a long drag of the lit death stick in his hand. “I’m not gonna beat around the bush with you two. I’m fucked.”

Ahsoka sat up straight, her interest piqued. “In what way?”

Hondo coughed after taking a second, much lengthier drag on the death stick. “ _Every_ way. Black Sun and what’s left of the Pykes have all the best markets cornered for the time being. I lost two ships full of good men in a skirmish near Felucia - don’t look at me like that, they were easy pickings for awhile. The Empire doubled the bounty on my head.” He lifted up his shirt, revealing a wide scar on his stomach, undoubtedly from a vibroblade. “That was _fun._ And on top of all of that, my men are leaving in droves for greener pastures.”

“That’s a shame,” Barriss said.

“Damn straight, Barry. Can I call you Barry? You look like a Barry.”

Barriss frowned. “Don’t call me tha-”

“Anyway,” Hondo said, ignoring Barriss entirely, “considering I was running out of business opportunities, I figured why not pick up some good old fashioned smuggling runs? So I started feeling around. Eventually, I-”

“Get to the point,” Ahsoka said flatly.

“Watch your mouth, I’m giving you some good news. Long story short, I got word of something interesting. You ever hear of a Twi’lek out of Ryloth named Cham Syndulla?”

Ah. Cham Syndulla. Hero to some, villain to others. Perpetual annoyance to the Senate, Mace Windu, and half the Outer Rim. Ahsoka had heard an awful lot of stories from an awful lot of people, many of them contradictory in nature.

Ahsoka finished the rest of her drink. “I have.”

“Yes,” Barriss answered with a mix of admiration and distaste upon hearing the name.

Hondo picked up on Barriss’ reaction. “Exactly. Crazy bastard. Man didn’t waste a day after this whole ‘New Order’ nonsense before he declared open war on the Imperial government of Ryloth. Course, his fighting against the droid armies drained most of his supplies.” He leaned back in his seat, throwing the stub of his death stick to the ground. “He tried a lot of the usual sources, you know the types.”

“They didn’t want to risk angering the Empire,” Ahsoka interjected. “Or they wanted too much money.”

“Bingo. I ain’t exactly eager to throw my lot in with that guy either.” He grinned. “But I think you two would get along with him just fine.”

Barriss looked at Ahsoka apprehensively. “Syndulla has a reputation for being... extreme in his methods. He’s not my first choice.”

“I agree, but Ryloth’s suffered enough over the years. They need all the help they can get,” Ahsoka replied. She turned her attention back to Hondo. “What are you offering?”

Hondo scratched his chin in mock consideration. “Simple. Easy. You give me... oh, I don’t know... 80,000 credits, and I’ll give you all the blaster rifles and bacta tanks that you can take. Then you can go play hero on Ryloth. Boom. Everyone wins! Well, everyone except the Empire, hopefully.”

Ahsoka glanced at Barriss, who nodded after a moment of hesitation.

With that many supplies in hand, they could make a real difference on Ryloth. Maybe not enough to turn the tide, but enough to give the rebels a fighting chance.

One problem. They didn’t have 80,000 credits.

“Make it 40,000 and you got a deal,” Ahsoka said, giving Hondo her most determined stare.

“You’re funny. 80,000 it is.” He took his boots off the table and sat forward with a flash of irritation in his eyes. “You can’t afford it.”

“40,000.” She wasn’t going to let this idiot haggle her under the table.

Hondo started to respond, but Barriss cut him off, “50,000, and we’ll send you twenty-five percent of whatever Syndulla gives us in payment for the help.”

Hondo mulled it over in his head. “Sixty percent and you give me 60,000.”

Barriss narrowed her eyes, unshaken by his glare. Ahsoka found it rather impressive. “Forty percent. 55,000,” she said. Then, when Hondo was about to speak, “You heard what the Empire did to the women and children at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, everyone has. Think about what they will do to Syndulla’s people if they win, which only gets likelier the longer it takes for him to get supplies.”

Hondo was deathly silent, shooting glares at both Barriss and Ahsoka while grinding his teeth.

He reached into his coat suddenly with a short grunt. Ahsoka nearly ignited her lightsaber right then and there.

Instead of a blaster or a thermal detonator or even a vibroblade, Hondo removed another death stick, which he lit with the candle.

“I want an invoice sent to me from Syndulla himself detailing the amount he’ll give you in compensation. I expect _exactly_ forty percent of what he gives you. Deal?”

“Deal,” they both said at once.

Hondo blew smoke into the air. “Great. Fantastic. It’ll take a few minutes to get the stuff ready.” His eyes widened. “Ah, I just remembered something!”

“Smoking’s bad for you?” Ahsoka asked.

“You want to atone for your past misdeeds?” Barriss asked a second later.

“No and _no._ ” Hondo rose from the table with an unceremonious shuffle. “Wait here, watch the dancers if you want, I’ll be right back!” He started to walk away with an extra pep in his step.

“Ahsoka,” Barriss said quietly.

“Yes?”

“Hondo wants to give us a pleasant surprise.”

“He does.”

“Ahsoka.”

“Yes?”

“I’m very worried.”

“That makes the both of us.”

***

Barriss watched the dancers for roughly ten minutes in complete, flustered silence. Ahsoka spent that time alternatively studying her nails and checking the various entrances to the room for Hondo.

Barriss was nervous about several things. She was concerned that Hondo was going to return with some devious plot to kidnap them. She was uneasy about the prospect of being cheated out of all of their money. She was worried that a pirate would put a blaster round in her back if she made a move too suddenly.

“Relax,” Ahsoka said, holding a hand above the candle. “I’ve been around this jerk long enough to know that he’s almost definitely not planning something dastardly.”

“Almost?” she asked. “That’s not the most encouraging answer you could have given.”

“I’m not going to lie to you. Nice job back there, by the way. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to talk him down like that.”

“I learned from the best.” Barriss flashed a shy smile, hoping that Ahsoka would realise she was the best.

Ahsoka started to bounce her leg, missing the implication entirely. “I wonder what’s taking him so long.”

_Knowing him, probably getting drunk in the ‘fresher._

Barriss decided to take her eyes off the dancers in order to check the door Hondo had left. Lo and behold, there he was, although he was also accompanied by a young Tholothian girl Barriss could have sworn she had seen before.

“Oh, there he is.” Barriss squinted in the low light. “Is that-”

Ahsoka’s face burst into a massive toothy grin. “Katooni!” She leapt from her seat and started to close the distance in a manic run.

“Ahsoka!” Katooni yelled in turn, peeling away from Hondo’s side to meet her halfway.

Ahsoka grabbed Katooni and lifted her high into the air. “Look how big you’ve gotten!” she said with an excited laugh. Barriss couldn’t help but smile as Katooni’s response was drowned out by the rowdy pirates.

_She has such a lovely laugh._

Hondo walked back to the table while Ahsoka continued to fawn over the youngling. He quirked a brow as Barriss continued to smile at Ahsoka while sipping from her drink.

“So,” Hondo said with the same casual air of appraisal one used for checking a speeder’s mileage, “you two do it yet?”

Barriss kept smiling away at Ahsoka. “Do what?”

“Don’t play the idiot, Barry, that’s my job. I can _smell_ the tension.”

Barriss shot Hondo a confused look. “Do _what?_ ”

“Sweet fu- _each other_.” He held up four fingers, two on each hand, and interlocked them like two pairs of-

_WHAT!?_

Barriss was in the middle of a drink when Hondo responded, which was unfortunate for both her and the table. Her throat seized up immediately, causing a spray of ale to escape her lips as she tried not to choke to death. Hondo laughed boisterously, clapping her on the back several times.

When she regained enough use of her lungs to speak, Barriss, cheeks burning a vibrant shade of emerald, sputtered, “H-how _dare_ you!”

Hondo continued to laugh in an annoying fashion. “It was _that_ good, huh?”

If Barriss’ glare could kill, Hondo would’ve been dead. “No!”

Hondo smiled reassuringly. “That’s a shame. Give it time, I’m sure you two just need-”

“We have done _no_ such things, you unwashed, illiterate, greedy, slovenly, two-faced, devious, insipid, selfish, arrogant, careless, idiotic criminal!”

Hondo snorted and sat upright with a chilly disposition. “Hey, I can read! You’re a rude little thing, aren’t you?”

The jab at her height, or lack thereof, sent Barriss over the edge.

“ _I’m_ rude!?” she shouted, incredulous. “You asked me if I’m having sex with my best friend!”

The room didn’t fall silent, but it did get noticeably quieter as many of the pirates took interest in her explosive outburst.

Barriss buried her face in her hands, unwilling to even _think_ about checking Ahsoka’s reaction. “Please, _please,_ tell me she didn’t hear that.”

“She didn’t hear that,” Hondo said with touching sincerity.

_Thank the Force._

“Wait, really?” Barriss asked her knees.

“Nah, she _totally_ heard you. Kriff, she’s as red as a... uh... something really red!”

Barriss parted her fingers to see Ahsoka without sacrificing her cover. Ahsoka was studying the ceiling with her hands on her hips, whistling some tune Barriss didn’t recognize. If it wasn’t for the scarlet on face she would have been the definition of nonchalance.

“Hondo, are you making people angry again?” Katooni asked with a hint of displeasure. “I thought you told me you were going to be polite.”

Hondo sighed. “I _am_ being polite, little one. Me and Barry-”

“Barry and I,” Katooni corrected.

Hondo sighed again. “Barry and I are just having a conversation. Isn’t that right, Barry?”

“If you call me that one more time I’m going to throw you through a wall,” Barriss whispered venomously. “Then I’ll drag you back out and keep throwing you until this entire building is filled with Hondo-shaped holes.”

“Ha!” Hondo said, slapping the table like Barriss had just told the greatest joke ever conceived. “Classic _Barry!_ See, everything’s just fine!”

Barriss let her hands fall away from her face, though she could still feel herself flushing. Hondo nudged her expectantly. “Yes. Everything’s... great.”

Katooni rolled her eyes then hopped over to the table, taking a seat next to the pirate captain. “You’re one of a kind, Hondo.”

Ahsoka sat next to Barriss mechanically, saying nothing in the process.

Hondo tapped his fingers on the table. “Are we just going to pretend that didn’t happen? ‘Cause believe me, we _know_ it happened, the whole base knows, half the planet probably does.”

“Shut up,” Ahsoka said.

Hondo steepled his fingers. “I love these types of reunions! They never fail to warm my heart!” His laughter died down slowly as his smile faded into a blank expression. “Ahsoka,” he said, suddenly serious.

Ahsoka snapped out of her flustered stupor. “You knew my name this whole time?”

“Yeah, it was funny.” He stared into the candle’s flame, searching for... something. “Are Skywalker and Kenobi alive?”

Barriss could feel the pain in Ahsoka leak into the Force in the same way that water breaks through a dam.

“No,” Ahsoka answered steadily.

Hondo whistled to one of the pirates by the bar, a large Weequay with a face perfect for the scowl he was wearing, and held up three fingers. “You have my sympathies.”

“Thanks.” Ahsoka smiled at Katooni. “What brings you here, youngling?”

Katooni perked up. “I managed to get away from the Temple after what happened. I hopped around on different ships for awhile before I found a transport headed for Florrum!”

Hondo smirked. “She stowed away in a shipment of raw spice. My man Goru nearly had a heart attack when she popped out of the air vent!”

Katooni rolled her eyes again. “You were the one that was screaming.”

“I was trying to intimidate you.”

“Rrrriiiiigggghhhht. Anyway, Hondo said I could stay here as long as I wanted. So, here I am!”

Ahsoka grinned maliciously. “Hondo Ohnaka, you big softie.”

Hondo huffed. “I like the kid. So what? Sue me.” He looked over at the Weequay that was bringing them their drinks on a tray. “Ah, there’s Goru himself! How’re things on getting the cargo ready?”

Goru placed the drinks on the table. “Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes and they’ll be good to go. Where’s their ship?”

“We landed just over the hill outside the complex,” Barriss said. “Do you want me to go get it?”

Hondo nodded. “Yeah, you can land in the airfield. What’s left of it, anyway.” He raised his cup of ale. “First, a toast. To Kenobi and Skywalker, may they still be annoying the hell out of everybody they meet in the afterlife!”

Ahsoka raised her own cup in salute. She and Hondo drank their ale in one gulp.

Barriss considered joining in, but her stomach was still upset from the last one. “I’ll be right back,” she said, squeezing Ahsoka’s shoulder as she rose.

She didn’t really know why she squeezed her shoulder. Just seemed like the right thing to do.

Hondo burped, drawing expressions of disgust from the other three. “Katooni, why don’t you go with her? It would do you good to stretch your legs. You don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” Barriss said.

Katooni slid out of her seat. “If you want to talk to Ahsoka alone, you just had to say so. Bye!”

Barriss suppressed a chuckle when Hondo scowled.

“That girl’s too smart for her own good,” he said.

***

“Alright Hondo, what gives?” Ahsoka asked. A spike of pain pulsed through her temple.

_Great. Not even an hour and this guy’s giving me a migraine._

“There was a clone here a few months back,” Hondo said quietly. “Blonde hair, blue markings on what was left of his armor. Said he fought with you. Ring any bells?”

Ahsoka had never doubted for a second that Rex would’ve been able to make it off of Mandalore in one piece. If any single clone was going to survive the bloodshed of the Purge, it would be him.

“Rex was here? Where did he go?”

“I wish I could tell you. He came here looking for some commando he was trying to link up with. My best guess is that he’s trying to find other likeminded clones to run away with.”

Smart. Precise. Always thinking ahead. That was Rex.

“Is he alright?”

“I can tell you he left Florrum without a scratch on him. After that, who knows.” He rubbed his finger along the rim of his cup absentmindedly. “I thought you’d like to hear that.”

“Hondo, you’re not as much of a jerk as you like to pretend. Thanks.”

Hondo continued to look into his cup. “Don’t mention it. What’s the story with you and Barriss? I thought I saw something on the HoloNet about her being a traitor to you Jedi.” He shrugged. “That was after Grievous pretty much ruined my operation, so I was drunker than usual. I could be wrong.”

“You’re not wrong. She did betray the Order, but she’s been killing herself over it every single day since.” She averted her eyes. “She’s my friend. I’ll never leave her.”

Hondo studied her face with an intensity that made Ahsoka’s skin crawl. “I was never one for sentimentality, but I can respect that.” He winced. “Ah, I think I had too much too quickly. It’s getting... hard to think.”

Ahsoka could sympathise. Her thoughts were turning foggy, her fingers were growing clumsy. At first she had attributed it to the ale and the death stick smoke in the air, but it was getting worse by the second.

“Ah, _shit!_ ” Hondo exclaimed, stumbling to his feet.

“What’s going on?”

Hondo found Goru standing in the crowd of pirates that were starting to gather around them. “Goru, did you really just spice us!?”

_Oh. That explains a lot._

Goru grinned. “That I did, boss. That I did.”

Hondo laughed. “You beautiful son of a mynock! All those years together and you stab me in the back!? I am so _proud!_ ” He fell to his knees. “You tricky little nerf! You slippery gundark!” He passed out on the ground, still smiling.

Ahsoka tried to count how many pirates were circling her with their blaster pistols and vibroblades, but she was seeing double.

“Hey there, fellas,” she slurred, climbing out of her chair. “You r- _really_ don’t wanna do this.”

Ahsoka punctuated her statement by hurling a table at one of the pirates with the Force. He dropped like a sack of flour, causing a few of the others to jump back in surprise.

“You think you can take me?” She ignited her lightsaber while her left hand fumbled for the shoto with no success. Her vision was growing darker and darker. Only a little time left.

“Uh, yeah?” Goru said. “You’re passin’ out.”

The lightsaber slipped from her fingers, which had grown so numb Ahsoka was surprised she had kept her grip for so long. She fell backwards onto the floor then slipped into unconsciousness.

***

_This is taking too long. Far too long._

Barriss watched the pirate approach with suspicion. “What’s with the blaster?” she asked, exiting the ship. “Hondo told me to park here. Is the cargo ready? Katooni and I have been waiting for a half hour.”

The pirate aimed the blaster at her chest. Typical. “What Hondo tells people don’t matter anymore.”

Katooni stepped beside Barriss. “Oh no,” she said. “Not again. This is the second time in three months.”

The pirate rolled the toothpick sticking out of his mouth around. “Now why don’t y’all just put these on?” He took out two pairs of stun cuffs from the bag at his side.

Barriss wondered if anyone else in the galaxy had to deal with nonsense this regularly. “You know I was a Jedi, right?”

The pirate cocked his head. “So? I got a blaster aimed right atcha-”

Barriss lashed out with the Force, tossing the pirate through the air and into a stack of crates marked with the Ohnaka insignia. His head smashed against the corner of the top crate, and he fell to the ground limply.

“Nice one,” Katooni said.

“Thanks. This has happened before?”

Katooni walked over to the unconscious pirate and checked his body for anything of note. “Yeah. There have been a few attempts at mutiny in the time I’ve been here. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s Goru.”

Barriss unhooked her lightsaber. “What makes you say that?”

“Goru almost _never_ gets the drinks without complaining. This time he did it with a smile.” She sighed. “Ahsoka and Hondo were probably both spiced.”

“What?”

“Goru probably trapped them in that old torture device Hondo keeps in storage.”

“What!?”

“And he’s probably going to kill them if he can’t think of any better ideas.”

“ _What!?_ ”

“I told Hondo that he should be more careful with Goru, he fought for Maul! He never listens.” She held up a small, rusted access card between her fingers. “I think this goes to some of the cells in the detention block. Goru probably had the guys that didn’t go with him thrown in there. That should be most of them.”

“How did they overpower the majority of the pirates?”

“Between you and me, most of these pirates aren’t the most competent at the best of times. If they weren’t paying attention it would have been easy for an organised group to take them.”

Barriss’ mind went into overtime as possible plans and escape routes formed themselves. “Do you know the way to the cells?”

Katooni nodded. “Yes. We should have the element of surprise, too. Goru’s... pretty dumb, so he probably thinks we’re being marched to him right now.”

Barriss unhooked her lightsaber. “Lead the way,” she said. “I’d like to get Ahsoka out quickly.”

“Do you have a plan?”

“Yes. We knock out everyone in between us and the cells, we free the prisoners and get them some weapons, then we go convince Goru to give up.”

“Convince?” Katooni’s expression was doubtful at best.

Barriss’ fingers tightened around her lightsaber. “I can be quite persuasive.”

***

“Alright, alright!” Hondo wheezed, still shaking from the effects of the last shock. “I’ll admit this is _mostly_ my fault, but you have part of the blame!”

Ahsoka’s head throbbed in time with her heart. She twisted around as much as she could in her position.

“How is this partially my fault?”

Hondo groaned as he tried, once again, to wrench his hands free. “You and your girlfriend kept me distracted!”

Goru pushed the button again, sending arcs of electricity through Ahsoka’s body in a wave of white hot pain that lasted far too long to be sufficiently ignored. She didn’t give him, or the crowd of mutineers that were cheering with their bottles in the air, the satisfaction of screaming.

Hondo had no such hangups. His voice pierced her montrals like a knife until Goru finally relented.

“For the last _fucking_ time, Ohnaka,” she said through her teeth, “Barriss is just my friend!”

“Get over yourself, Jedi! I saw the way you were looking at her! You were giving her bedroom eyes!”

“No! I! Wasn’t!” It was good, for Hondo’s sake, that she couldn’t move.

Hondo’s laughter was ragged from exhaustion, high from pain, and cracking from desperation. “Yeah! You! Were! It was like you were _begging_ her to let you bend her over a-”

“You finish that sentence and I’ll _kill_ you,” Ahsoka gasped.

“TABLE!”

She had to give Hondo credit, it was much easier to shrug off the pain when she was filled with anger. Maybe that was his goal: distract them both by antagonising her as much as he could.

“Goru!” Ahsoka called, turning her head to face the leader of this impromptu mutiny. “Let me have my lightsabers! I have a man to murder!”

Goru looked down at the hilts on his belt. They gleamed in the dark in a tantalizing way.

_They’re so close._

If she could just get her hands free they would be hers, and then she could fight her way out. Almost all of the mutineers were drinking. Half of them didn’t wear blasters. Kriff, even the pirate she knocked out earlier was still laying in the corner. It would be easy, so easy.

“No offense, but I think I’ll keep these until I find someone to give them to for a nice payday.”

Hondo started to kick his legs in a futile attempt to break through the device’s grasp. “Damn it! I knew I should have sold this thing!”

“I’m glad you didn’t, boss,” Goru said. “This is a lot of fun!” He held the remote high in the air. “Who wants me to increase the strength?”

The mutineers let out a massive cheer.

“Goru, my man, before you start tickling me again, can I ask a question?” Hondo asked, finally ceasing his escape attempts.

“I guess I owe you that much, boss. Shoot.”

_How heartwarming._

“When did you get so goddamned dumb?” Hondo inquired casually.

Ahsoka bit her lip in preparation for the retaliatory strike. If she had known Hondo was going to use his brief respite to insult the man, she would have at least had taken the small comfort of berating him.

“I ain’t the one strapped up, boss.”

“No, you’re the idiot that only gave us half doses of spice. You’re the one the Empire, the bounty guilds, and the assassin networks are going to recognize as the heir to Hondo Ohnaka’s debts and vendettas. That sound like fun?”

“I’m a tough guy. I’ll get the boys together and we’ll-”

“You’ll _what?_ If I’m counting correctly, which I doubt, two-thirds of _my_ men are sitting in _my_ detention block while you and your little band of traitors are playing with _my_ torture device!” He spat vaguely in Goru’s direction. “What are you going to do, kill them all? Do you have any idea how to handle logistics? How to get more recruits when you have a reputation for shooting your own men? You don’t want a crew that follows you out of fear, trust me. You do that, you’ll end up in this same position one day, only they won’t give you the courtesy of letting you ask questions.”

Ahsoka didn’t expect such a solid argument from a man that spent half his days drunk and the other half recovering from hangovers.

Goru’s face scrunched up in deep contemplation. “Yeah. I’ll kill ‘em. I’ll kill the Jedi, too. All three of ‘em, if I gotta.” He thought for a moment, mouth hanging open. “What’s taking that guy so long to bring the other two here?”

“You lay a _finger_ on that little girl’s head and I’ll skin you alive and feed you to my monkey lizard!” Hondo roared with a sudden burst of rage.

Goru’s concerns regarding the missing Jedi disappeared in an instant. “How you gonna do that, boss?” He addressed the crowd of mutineers. “Everyone that wants me to up the power, raise your hands!”

Hondo let out a defeated grunt, craning his head towards Ahsoka. “I... honestly didn’t expect him to agree to killing them.”

Ahsoka leaned back as far as possible to shoot Hondo her dirtiest look. “You didn’t expect an idiot that makes his life off of hurting people would have no problems with killing everyone that gets in his way?”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure your _lover_ will swoop in to save the day. If she has a plan. She has a plan, right?”

Ahsoka bared her fangs in a snarl. “Barriss is a genius. She has a plan.”

***

“I have no Idea what I’m doing,” Barriss said, typing away at the keypad that locked the armory doors. It was a standard affair, ten numbers, zero through nine. After slamming the pirate who had been guarding the armory into the ceiling, it was the only thing standing between her and an unhealthy amount of weaponry.

“Try Hondo’s mom’s birthday,” Katooni suggested.

Barriss smirked. “That seems a little cliche, even for Hondo.”

“It’s what he uses on his datapad,” Katooni responded. “And his own HoloNet terminal. And his chest. And his favorite speeder.” She reached past Barriss and punched in a string of numbers. Nothing happened.

“Sorry, Katooni. Hondo set it to something else.”

The lock pinged with a green flash of light. The door swung open, revealing rows of blasters and several melee weapons in neatly organised sections.

Katooni looked at Barriss expectantly.

“...I’ve been wrong before.”

“You’re doing great, youngin’!” one of the pirates Barriss had released said encouragingly. “Who’s my favorite little Jedi?”

Katooni grinned widely. “Thanks.”

Any reservations Barriss had about labeling Goru a complete imbecile vanished the instant she and Katooni had walked into the detention block to find it unguarded save for two unarmed pirates that were entertaining themselves at the expense of their captives. Barriss had knocked them out by smashing their heads together with the Force. After this display, and Katooni’s offer of the access card, the imprisoned loyalists all agreed to their idea.

The pirates went about arming themselves to the teeth with blasters and vibroblades while Barriss searched through the Force for Ahsoka. She felt pain. A good deal of pain. Anger. No, not anger, it wasn’t nearly as crimson or bold as rage usually appeared in the Force.

_Extreme annoyance._

Hondo must be talking.

“So, Jedi, what’s our plan?”

Barriss turned to the group of loyalists. “Simple. I’m going to climb up into the ceiling and drop down to attack Goru. When I do that, half of you are going to enter from the left, half of you are going to enter from the right. I want you to be as loud and as threatening as you can possibly be without firing a shot. Hopefully that will be enough to force the mutineers to surrender. No-one kills _anyone_ if they aren’t fired on first. Understood?”

There were a few murmurs of disbelief regarding that last order, but the pirates all agreed after a short deliberation. They started to run towards their positions to begin the ambush.

Barriss felt a tug at her sleeve. Katooni. “You’re not anything like what the HoloNet, or even some of the Masters, said you were. I’ll show you the way.”

Barriss bristled at the compliment - if it was a compliment - but she followed Katooni anyway up a series of cracked stone steps to a small vent covered in dust and rust.

“This should put you directly above them,” Katooni explained. “Watch out for the nail in the floor halfway through, I nearly stepped on it last time I went through here.”

“Thanks, Katooni, get somewhere safe.” Barriss pulled of the cover and crouched inside.

“I’m leading the first group in,” Katooni replied casually.

Barriss stuck her head back out. “Excuse me?”

Katooni took her own lightsaber in her hand. “I can be persuasive, too.” She ran off down the stairs.

Barriss sighed and continued down the vent. It was cramped, humid, and echoic in nature, even the smallest of sounds rebounded off the metal walls countless times. Fortunately, this same feature made it so that Barriss could hear the goings-on in the room ahead.

Ahsoka was swearing at Hondo in rapid-fire Togruti with enough creativity and vulgarity to make a hardened spacer blush head to toe.

Or, in this case, Barriss.

“I don’t know what you're saying! Maybe you should get your wife to translate!” Hondo replied in a surprisingly weak voice.

Ahsoka, still speaking Togruti, instructed Hondo with vivid and specific language to do something anatomically impossible to himself and his mother.

"I  _still_ don't know what you're saying!"

Goru, or at least someone that sounded a lot like him, laughed boisterously. “This is better than I ever imagined! Who wants me to shock ‘em again?”

Barriss crawled forward as swiftly as she could, letting the Force flow into her veins and electrify her nerves, willing herself to move faster, stronger.

She popped out of the end of the vent and dropped down to a rafter that gave her a perfect vantage point. Hondo and Ahsoka were both suspended in shafts of white light that flickered with raw energy and electricity. Hondo was the definition of cheerful resignation, Ahsoka the personification of barely contained rage. Goru stood in front of them with his hands in the air, riling up the small crowd of hostile pirates like he was a announcer at a pit fight.

Barriss reached out in the Force and, for lack of a better term, poked Ahsoka. Her head snapped towards Barriss instantly, grin already forming.

Barriss reached out towards the loyalists that were preparing to storm the room. Their anticipation was red-hot, their eagerness a bright flame in a darkened cave.

_Good._

She locked eyes with Ahsoka and nodded. She whistled. Goru, Hondo, and almost all of the pirates in the room looked at the source of the sound.

Barriss began.

***

As soon as she heard Barriss whistle Ahsoka screwed her eyes shut. She heard the snap-hiss of a lightsaber igniting, followed closely by the sound of Goru, Hondo, and twenty-odd pirates yelping. She opened her eyes and found Barriss mid-jump, lightsaber raised in an overhead swing.

_Right on time._

Barriss brought the lightsaber down on the top of Goru’s head as she landed. The pirate dropped the remote to her trap and spun on his feet with a ridiculous expression of pain and surprise marring his face. Ahsoka tried not to take too much delight in the sight.

_That’s gonna leave a mark._

Barriss kicked Goru in the back of the leg, forcing him to his knees. In an instant her blade was at his throat close enough to raise blisters and burn the edges of his facial hair. She whistled again as she twisted Goru to face the crowd.

A horde of pirates led by Katooni of all people burst into the room from either side with weapons and voices raised. Some yelled curses, others threats, a few screamed inarticulately. Katooni waved her lightsaber in a vaguely threatening way with a tired expression. This was not her first brush with this sort of nonsense, and she was well aware that it would not be her last.

The mutineers, half-blind and unprepared, immediately started to throw their hands up in the air in shock and surprise. One tried to bolt, only to get smacked in the face with the butt of a blaster rifle.

“I think we can all agree that it would be in your best interests to surrender,” Barriss intoned in a low, husky voice she apparently considered intimidating.

Ahsoka personally found it rather... intriguing. She would have no complaints if Barriss decided to continue.

“That’s my girl!” Ahsoka trilled in Togruti. She remembered a second too late that Barriss, while not fluent, could speak the language, a skill she learned at Ahsoka’s own insistence.

Barriss peered over her shoulder at Ahsoka, all of her previous bravado replaced with what could best be described as violent bashfulness. “ _Ahsoka,_ please, not now!” she replied in shaky Togruti, ignoring Goru’s barely conscious efforts to pull away from her blade.

Hondo’s laughter rang with relief and an astonishing amount of mirth. “I don’t know what you said, but it was gay!”

“Barriss, give me my lightsabers!” Ahsoka demanded in Basic. “ _Now!_ ”

***

Ahsoka let out a pleased noise as she collapsed onto the ramp of the _Starshine._ “That was interesting.” She felt her lightsabers once more, just to be sure they were at her side.

Barriss sat down next to her. “Interesting is a word that applies to most of the things we do.”

“You can say that again. You did great!”

Barriss rubbed her arm, eyes firmly fixed on the crates of weapons and bacta piled next to the ship. “You told me as much in the base, yes.” She regarded Ahsoka with a smile lurking at the corner of her lips. “How are your wrists?”

Ahsoka held her hands up, scowling at the bruises and burns left by the restraints. “A little sore, a little scorched. I’ll live.”

Barriss gently grasped Ahsoka’s arms with her hands. “Here.” She closed her eyes in concentration.

Ahsoka felt the warm, soft energy of the Force flow through her body slowly. It settled in her chest and entwined around her heart, easing her aches. She closed her own eyes in relaxation.

When she opened them, only a few faint marks remained on her hands.

“I see you haven’t gotten rusty,” Ahsoka said lightly, flexing her fingers.

“I’m sure you’ll keep me in practice,” Barriss responded, letting go of Ahsoka’s arms.

“I’m sure I will. Poor you.”

Barriss smirked, laying back on the ramp of the ship. “I wasn’t complaining.”

Hondo arrived with Katooni by his side, his coat over his shoulders, and a sling on the arm he sprained when Ahsoka _accidentally_ tripped him. The limp in his left leg was from when Barriss also _accidentally_ tripped him. “We got your credits all locked up nice and tight.” He gestured to the crates of supplies. “You’re free to go. I’d say it was a pleasure doing business, but we all know I’d be lying.”

“I had a good time!” Katooni said. “It was nice seeing you again, Ahsoka!” She turned to Barriss. “It was nice meeting you!”

Barriss waved. “It was nice meeting you!”

Ahsoka waved as well. “Take care, Katooni! Don’t let this idiot get you killed!”

“I would never... Fair enough,” Hondo grumbled. “Come on, Katooni. I need you to chop that blasted machine into tiny, tiny pieces with your lightsaber.”

They both departed, Katooni with one last wave, Hondo with one last glare.

Ahsoka jumped to her feet and offered Barriss her hand. “Ready to go cause trouble?”

Barriss took it. “With you? Always.”

“Let’s go start a revolution.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that the sentence "Barriss flashed a shy smile, hoping that Ahsoka would realise she was the best" is, in my opinion, the most accidentally adorable thing I've ever written  
> 1) Deep down, Hondo honestly considers all of the Jedi he's messed with in the past good friends, especially Obi-Wan  
> 2) Deep down, Hondo cares for Katooni more than he would ever, ever admit  
> 3) The part where Hondo deliberately badgers Ahsoka to keep both of them angry through their torture is taken from the Firefly episode "War Stories", where Mal continually mocks Wash's relationship with his wife for the same reason  
> 4) This won't be the last time we see Katooni and Hondo


	15. For There's Fire in the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a deal is made, both Ahsoka and Barriss are Gay, and I write more shameless fluff while speeding through the details of this meeting

_“Individually, a single being, unattuned to the Force, is fragile and easily disregarded as a nuisance. An organised, motivated, enraged rebellion, on the other hand, can shatter the mightiest of kingdoms.”_

_\- Excerpt from an Infinite Empire text on how to properly crush slave revolts, 37,000 BBY_

**The Largest Moon of Ryloth**

“Good afternoon, Moff Mors,” Colonel Dray said with his usual rigidity as Delian entered her office. He snapped into a statuesque salute Delian would have found amusing under normal circumstances.

“Good afternoon, colonel. I trust your week of leave was enjoyable?” Delian responded, pushing past Dray to make her way to her desk. She took a seat and started to flip through the miscellaneous datapads and flimsiplast reports that awaited her review.

“It was splendid, ma’am.” Dray walked towards her, taking his usual place. “The spice quota report is off by positive three percent, ma’am. I tried to get the corrected file from planetside, but you arrived earlier than I expected.”

Delian found the file under a nearly identical one that detailed troop deployments. Even if the numbers were three percent higher than reality it was quite an impressive amount.

“Not used to me being an early riser, colonel? Don’t feel the need to answer that. I’m sure you did your best.” Delian found herself gazing, once again, at the holopic taken during her honeymoon.

_Oh, Murra._

“I... heard about the incident on Coruscant, ma’am.” Dray said with the emotional range of a moisture vaporator. “I’m sorry.”

Delian wondered if it hurt when the transport slammed into her wife. She wondered if she had time to scream.

She hoped not.

“It wasn’t your fault, Belkor,” Delian said to the smiling Murra.

“That’s not what I meant, ma’am.” Dray’s posture unstiffened somewhat. “Are you sure you should be working? Given the circumstances, no-one would fault you for requesting some time off.”

Delian took her eyes off of Murra. “Are you saying that I’m not fit for duty, colonel?”

“No, ma’am. Never.” Dray snapped back into his impression of an Imperial sculpture. “Excuse me for speaking out of turn.”

“You’re excused.” Delian skimmed through the files and found nothing of even the slightest interest. Troop movements. Those damn rebel proclamations. Lylek hunting numbers. Heat storm predictions.

Delian swept the reports to the side and found herself staring into Murra’s eyes again. Damn it all, she needed some wine. Or maybe some spice. Just one more, then she would never touch the stuff again. Just one more to take the edge off.

Just one more, and she could forget, if only for a minute.

“Ma’am,” Dray said, clearing his throat, “there are still ten files that you need to review.” His tone was polite, his words perfectly in line with Imperial etiquette.

He didn’t fool her for an instant. He was simmering at her laziness.

“Did you already read them?” Delian asked, placing her hands in her lap.

“Well... yes.”

“Did you find anything that requires my urgent attention?”

“...No.”

“Then my job is already done for me. Congratulations, colonel, you have effectively executed my duties as Moff.”

Dray’s expression didn’t shift a millimeter. “Thank you.”

Delian reclined in her chair. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

Dray frowned. “Your morning briefing was sent to you in advance.”

“I know. I’m assuming that you read that as well?”

“...Yes.” Dray took a resigned breath. “Senator Taa is going to make the journey back to Coruscant within the week. He has asked to have an audience with you before he leaves.”

The thought of spending more than a minute in the presence of that spineless bootlicker made Delian’s back itch.

“Why does he want to speak with me?”

“If I had to guess, I’d say it would be to rant about Syndulla.” Dray suppressed a sigh. “Again.”

Like it or not, Taa was a “loyal servant of the Empire.” And “loyal servants of the Empire” were entitled to seek audiences with their Moff, regardless of their Moff’s opinion of them.

“When is he going to be here?” Delian asked.

“He arrived ten minutes ago. I’m surprised you didn’t see him in the lobby. He’s especially blue today.”

“Physically or emotionally?”

“Both, ma’am.”

A small puff of air escaped Delian’s nose. “Send him in.”

Dray frowned for a second upon being reduced to secretarial work, but he still went to the intercom and summoned the senator.

As usual, Delian heard Senator Taa long before she saw him. The Twi’lek was persistently trying to engage in political smalltalk with a stormtrooper captain who only responded with curt yessirs.

Taa entered with a flourish of robes, under the impression that he was doing Delian a great service by gracing her with his company.

“Moff Mors!” he said with an extravagant bow. “What an honor it is to be seen by you!”

“Senator Taa. Why are you here?” Under normal circumstances, Delian would have given Taa the courtesy of pretending to not be dreading his arrival. Today, well, she didn’t give a damn.

A flash of offended disgust crossed Taa’s fat face before his placating smile returned. “Straight to the point, Moff Mors! I like it! I’m here regarding the terrorist, Cham Syndulla.”

“Cham Syndulla is the Empire’s number one priority on Ryloth, Senator Taa. You may rest assured that his rebellion will be put down as swiftly as possible.”

“However ‘swiftly’ you think the Empire is moving, it is not fast enough! Syndulla is a dangerous man who will only stop his path of destruction when he is dead! He would rather burn Ryloth to ashes than let the planet remain under the watchful eye of the Empire! You need to do more!”

“ _Senator_ Taa, as _Moff_ of Ryloth, it is my pleasure to inform you that Syndulla’s organisation is all but vanquished. Just last week, our stormtroopers - in addition to your own Twi’lek security forces - captured a weapon cache and half of one of his rebel cells outside the capital. Even as we speak, these prisoners are being prepared to be brought to the moon for questioning. It is only a matter of time until one of them cracks. When that happens, we’ll find Syndulla and we’ll have him and his lot of traitors on their knees with blasters at their heads.”

Taa chafed at being reminded of his place. “I certainly hope you are correct, Moff, for the sake of my prosperity-”

“The prosperity of Ryloth, you mean.”

“Ah. Yes. I misspoke. I have heard rumors that Syndulla has sent out calls for aid to all sorts of... disreputable characters. Rebel cells from other worlds. Criminal organisations. A Hutt or two.”

Delian glanced at Dray, who nodded in confirmation. “Even if that were the case, Senator Taa, the Imperial forces on Ryloth are more than capable of dealing with Syndulla in either guerilla warfare or open confrontation.” She smiled wryly. “Besides, who would be foolish enough to answer Syndulla’s call?”

**Ryloth**

The approach vector and supplementary coordinates Hondo had given them (“straight from the encrypted messages,” he said) ended up leaving Barriss and Ahsoka in the middle of the Ryloth wasteland, hundreds of miles from the nearest village, town, or landmark. They double checked the flight information, then triple checked it for good measure. They even had a short, rude, and garbled conversation with Hondo through hologram. He assured them that the information he gave them was completely accurate, and that their best bet was to wait for Syndulla to show, or otherwise begin to comb the wastes meter by meter.

_“We could have figured that one out ourselves,” Ahsoka had snapped._

_“Then why are you talking to me?” Hondo asked rhetorically before cutting the connection._

Needless to say, they opted to wait for a while. They carried the crates of supplies out of the ship and stacked them neatly. Barriss sat on a small rock. Ahsoka climbed onto the top of the ship and kept a watchful eye on the horizon.

A half hour into their wait, Ahsoka flatly said, “Knock knock.”

Barriss sighed, putting down the datapad she had been attempting to read from.

There were many qualities to love about Ahsoka. The way she laughed, the way she seemed to brighten up a room just by entering it, the curve of her lips and the spark in her eyes when she smiled, her willingness to help others, her ability to make even the most dismal of situations just a little more bearable.

Her sense of humor when she was _hopelessly_ bored was not one of those qualities.

“Who’s there?” Barriss asked, resigned. She knew from years of experience that any effort to ignore her would only prolong the inevitable.

“Broken stylus.” Each syllable came out faster and more enthusiastic than the one before. Ahsoka’s presence in the Force suddenly shifted from the dull grey of monotony to the warm glow of excitation.

“Broken stylus who?”

“Nevermind, it was _pointless!_ ” Ahsoka said eagerly, glancing over the side of the ship to gauge Barriss’ reaction.

Barriss sighed again, raising the datapad to continue to read.

“Come on, that was good,” Ahsoka complained, laying flat on the ship to better antagonise Barriss.

Barriss continued to read. “It was not.”

“Don’t lie to me. That was comedy gold.”

“ _No._ ”

“You’re _smiling._ ”

“I am _not_.” She was.

“Either you’re smiling or you’re having a stroke. Take your pick.”

“I’m having a stroke.”

“What’s the proper treatment for that? Tell me while you still have the chance!”

Barriss looked up towards Ahsoka. “The proper treatment is to stop pestering me for five minutes.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “Don’t be like that. I’m bored.”

“Hi, bored, I’m mom,” Barriss said reflexively. Her eyes widened in horror as soon as she realised what she had done.

Ahsoka smiled montral to montral. “Barriss Offee,” she said, shaking her head in joyful disbelief, “you are a woman after my own heart.”

Barriss tried to wrap her mind around the sin she had committed.

_I’ve become the thing I swore to destroy._

“You’ve been spending too much time with me,” Ahsoka continued, leaning farther over the side of the ship. “I’m a corrupting influence.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I’d say it’s very possible. Remember the time I convinced you to help me put kick-me signs on half of the Wolfpack?”

“I know you’re a corrupting influence. I meant it’s impossible to spend too much time with you,” Barriss explained, looking back up at Ahsoka.

Ahsoka said nothing in response, though her smile remained far longer than it normally would have. She resumed her vigil, electrobinoculars in hand.

Barriss turned her attention back to her pad, but she found it difficult to focus, to make sense of the words, to ignore the strange feeling in her stomach.

The events of the last few days - the gift on Nar Shaddaa, the night on Jedha, even that ludicrous incident at the Ohnaka base - gave Barriss cause to wonder if Ahsoka had ever considered the possibility of the two of them being together.

 _Together_ together.

No, no, that was a stupid, idiotic idea. She was simply jittery over having a lightsaber at her side and a newfound goal in her head.

Surely it wasn’t anything real.

Surely.

She was pathetic, but she couldn’t _possibly_ be pathetic enough to let herself think she had a shot with that silly Togruta with those silly jokes and those ocean eyes that, with one look, could promise Barriss the world.

Great. She was thinking about her eyes again.

Fantastic.

So what if she was starting to appreciate Ahsoka’s company in a more... intense way than she had in the past? It did not mean anything.

Right?

Right.

Besides, it wasn’t like it could ever actually happen.

Right?

Right.

The idea was ridiculous. Preposterous. Arrogance of the highest sort. Barriss was shy, awkward, bookish, selfish, prideful when she should be humble and meek when she should stand up for herself. The odds _anyone_ would ever find her attractive were astronomical.

Ahsoka was... everything Barriss wasn’t. Beautiful, outgoing, selfless, charming, brave, always willing to help others, the best friend she ever had.

Yet, despite the impossibility of it all, Barriss couldn’t help but think that if things had turned out a little differently, if she had never conspired to bomb the Temple, if the Order had never fallen, if they had both made it through the war unscathed in every sense of the word, then maybe, _just maybe..._

Force, she wouldn’t object to waking up in those arms every morning. Even a kiss or two or three or eight or twelve, just to see what it was like.

Just to see if her lips were as soft as they looked.

Stop. She had to stop. This line of thinking was nothing more than an exercise in self-doubt and disappointment. There was no use in agonizing over what could clearly never be.

Still, it gnawed at her. The imaginings.

Still, in another life, another universe where everything went right, no-one ever died, and watching starlight flicker in the night sky was the only thing anyone rushed to do, perhaps Barriss would have known what it was like to love.

No. That was foolish.

Ahsoka deserved better than her. Ahsoka deserved the stars that shined so bright, the nebulae that swirled in all their colors, the comets that trailed vast plumes of gas, and every other wondrous, dreamlike thing Barriss could never hope to compare to.

Knowing she was right didn’t make it... hurt... less. Only made it hurt in a different way.

“Look alive!” Ahsoka shouted. “We’ve got company!”

Barriss became aware that she was staring at a black screen that had long since turned itself off due to inactivity. She looked north and found several large speeders approaching their position, whipping large clouds of dust into the air.

“They’re all Twi’leks,” Ahsoka said, pressing the binoculars into her face. Barriss could almost hear her squinting. “They’re wearing civilian clothes, so it’s not local security.”

Syndulla would be a welcome distraction.

“It’s about time,” Barriss said, tucking the datapad into the folds of her clothes. Ahsoka hopped off the ship, landing next to her.

“I hope they don’t point their blasters at us,” Ahsoka said. “I’m getting awfully tired of that.”

_That makes two of us._

They walked around the ship to meet the approaching resistance forces.

“So, how’s the book?” Ahsoka asked idly.

“Oh, it’s quite good, even if it is mostly a rehash of other, more in depth texts on the same subjects.”

“I’m glad. You’re going to have to teach me that trick you do one of these days.”

Barriss looked up at her with a properly confused raise of her brows. “What trick?”

“The one that lets you read a book while staring at a blank screen,” Ahsoka replied. Her expression softened from teasing into one of genuine concern. “Slow day?”

“Slow day?”

“Yeah, you used to have those during the war. You would get quiet, stop paying attention to things, wouldn’t feel like doing anything except lay in bed. Slow day?”

Once again, Barriss was astonished at how Ahsoka always noticed the things she tried her hardest to hide. “Slow day.”

“Alright. You let me know if you need a break or anything, okay?”

“I will.”

The vehicles came to a stop a respectable distance from the pair. A small number of Twi’leks exited with blasters in their hands and vaguely confused looks on their faces. Refreshingly, nobody pointed a weapon at either of them.

A tall, orange skinned Twi’lek walked towards them with a raised brow. “You’re not Hondo Ohnaka, and you definitely aren’t pirates.”

“You must be Cham Syndulla,” Ahsoka said. “We heard about your call for aid.”

Syndulla gave the crates of supplies an appraising glance. “You are carrying the things Ohnaka promised me?”

“Yes,” Barriss said. “Blasters and bacta, just like you wanted.”

A Twi’lek holding some sort of scanning device examined the supplies carefully before giving Syndulla a thumbs up. “No bombs or trackers.”

“Excellent.” He turned to several of the other Twi’leks. “Start packing up the cargo. We leave soon.” A pair of rebels came around from behind one of the speeders carrying a large chest, undoubtedly full of credits or some sellable good. They placed it on the ground and, along with the rest of their fellows, hopped back into their transports. “This should prove to be adequate compensation. Ryloth thanks you for your contributions.” He started to walk back to the speeder he arrived in.

“We want to help you,” Ahsoka said, stepping towards him.

“You have helped already, I assure you.” He watched the last of the crates get loaded into the speeders, then motioned for the few Twi’leks left standing to pack in.

“You need more than blasters and medicine,” Barriss said, hoping that this whole endeavour wouldn’t turn into a simple smuggling run. “Everyone in the Outer Rim knows how badly your fight is going.”

Syndulla stepped away from the speeder as his people took their seats. “I will admit, the Free Ryloth Movement has suffered some setbacks lately. I doubt these setbacks can be solved by taking on two random smugglers. Thank you. _Goodbye._ ” He waved his hand through the air as though he were trying to slash any response to pieces before he could hear it.

“We were Jedi,” Ahsoka said.

Syndulla froze in the middle of climbing into the speeder. “Truly?” Ahsoka shifted her cloak, revealing her hilts. “Of all the places for a former Jedi to go, why choose this planet?”

“We tried Dathomir, but they’re booked solid for another year,” Ahsoka replied.

Barriss sighed at Ahsoka’s irreverence. It wouldn’t kill her to not antagonise their only potential ally on Ryloth within five minutes of meeting him. “We’re here to offer you as much assistance as you want. Is that acceptable?”

Syndulla studied them both like they were pieces of machinery waiting to be unleashed against the Empire in a cunning stratagem. Barriss half expected him to ask them for their make and model.

“I have a plan that would benefit from your skills.” He reached into his pocket, removing a small data chip. “This contains the coordinates for one of our main safehouses. It’s located in a cave not overly far from here. Wait five hours before approaching so that we have time to prepare for your arrival.” He tossed the chip to Ahsoka. “If you try to lead any Imperials or collaborators to our location, I will know well in advance.” He climbed into the speeder without further notice, and soon Barriss and Ahsoka were standing alone, watching the speeders fly away in the afternoon sun.

“What are we supposed to do for five hours?” Barriss inquired, hoping that Ahsoka wouldn’t point out the obvious and tell her to read a book.

“You could read your book,” Ahsoka said, dashing Barriss’ hopes. “I’m taking a nap. All this planet hopping is leaving me lagged.” Her cheeks grew crimson. “You’re more than welcome to, y’know, join me. If you want.”

By the Gods, the Force, and all other applicable entities, Barriss wanted to. Just to feel her arms. Just to hear that pleased sigh that was almost but not quite a purr.

She knew, logically, that giving in would do little more than fan the flame she was trying to put out.

When she looked at Ahsoka, with her crooked smile and ocean eyes, logic didn’t matter anymore.

“I’d love to.”

***

“You read too fast,” Ahsoka complained as Barriss changed the page a split second after Ahsoka finished the last sentence.

“You read too slow,” Barriss replied, leaning back with that damn self-satisfied curve tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Since when did you find trade regulations a stimulating topic?”

It would be too cliché to say that Ahsoka found the accounts of horrific red tape and senatorial escapades stimulating simply because Barriss made them interesting, so she instead opted for her favorite method of conversational evasion: sarcasm.

“After this rebellion is over I’m going to open a massive trading company, and I’m going to use every possible loophole to swindle the newly reformed Republic out of as much tax credits as I can. With my unimaginable fortune in my hands, I’m going to liquidize the whole business, buy a fleet of the fastest fighters available, and I’m going to colonize an entire system in the Unknown Regions. Then it’s just going to be you and me, sitting on a beach with our toes in the sand, sipping disgustingly overpriced fruit cocktails, and soaking up the sun,” Ahsoka said, shifting into a more comfortable angle for Barriss to lean on.

“I didn’t realise I was a part of your master plan.”

Well, _of course_ she was. She always would be. But that was... too sappy, so Ahsoka instead said, “Every charming trickster needs a plucky sidekick for comic relief, advice, and help during the occasional fistfight in an improbable place, so of course you’d be involved from the ground up.”

“Let’s be clear, Ahsoka. In the case of business fraud and felony tax evasion, I would be the trickster. You would be the plucky sidekick.”

Ahsoka couldn’t help but laugh at her surety. “Please explain.”

Barriss leaned back further, tickling Ahsoka’s collarbone with her hair. “Where to begin? I’m simply more suited for a long con like the one you’re talking about. You don’t have the patience for it, considering that you can barely stand in line for a cup of coffee without threatening to throw a chair. I have more knowledge of economic matters. I would, without doubt, be better at investing our money before we slip away.” She turned back to Ahsoka. “On top of that, you’d make an amazing sidekick. You’re plucky, you have the better sense of humor, you’ve got a wealth of advice to dispense, and you’d be the one beating people in a fistfight.” She ended the last point with an appreciative look at Ahsoka’s arms that nearly made the latter blush.

“All fair points,” Ahsoka said teasingly. “I suppose we’ll take turns being the sidekick and keep everyone on their toes.”

Barriss smirked. “Now you’re talking. Can’t have any of our saps getting comfortable.”

Ahsoka smiled in turn as they both started to read from the pad again, waiting for the chrono to chime its alarm. Barriss laid back, content to use Ahsoka’s chest as her pillow. Ahsoka, almost unconsciously, wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

Ahsoka knew, deep down, that she was passing the point of merely being screwed when it came to how she felt about Barriss. She was rapidly approaching _well and truly fucked,_ and when that happened, there would be hell to pay.

The strangest, most frightening and exciting part was that Ahsoka didn’t give a damn.

Kriff, Barriss was _so_ soft.

Upon further review, she was _well and truly fucked._ That line of thinking sounded exactly like something a person would believe if they were _well and truly fucked._

_I’m dead. This is how it ends. Only a matter of time._

“Ahsoka, are you ready?” Barriss asked, thumb hovering over the button to turn the page.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” said Ahsoka, desperately speeding through a thousand year old quote from a Supreme Chancellor. “Yep. Good to go.”

The page changed, greeting them with a wall of numbers and obscure legal references in a multitude of languages. Ahsoka stifled a groan.

Barriss let out a delighted _squeak_. “I was wondering when we would get to this part! This is the section that details how events such as the Stark Hyperspace War became possible due to a lack of senatorial efforts to prevebt the monopolization of resources like bacta!”

_She's the one, Ahsoka. This is the girl you’ve fallen head over heels for._

_Revel in it, Ahsoka. Revel._

They read for a while, Barriss giddy at the prospect of analyzing political affairs so old that any precedent set by them had long since become irrelevant as the centuries ticked by, Ahsoka simply tried to keep up as Barriss all but forgot to wait for her before advancing.

Eventually, the chrono’s alarm rang out with its usual piercing beep. Ahsoka snickered when Barriss practically jumped off the bed.

“You set it too loud again!”

“‘Fraid not. I’m the one with super hearing and it was still a little on the quiet side.”

Barriss tossed the pad to the side and hopped to her feet. Ahsoka, ridiculously enough, halfheartedly reached after her. Thank the Force Barriss didn’t see that.

“It’s been five hours already?”

“Time flies when you read one of _the_ driest books ever written,” Ahsoka told her, stretching her arms while stifling a slight yawn. She was pleasantly overtired. The sort of sleepiness that came from reading for hours on end. She climbed to her feet. “Let’s not keep them waiting.”

Barriss finished putting on her headscarf. The gold played with the light in a curious way, throwing small flashes towards Ahsoka as it caught the twilight streaming in through the window. “They’ve kept us waiting. We were good to go as soon as we reached the planet.”

“They just wanted to make sure we weren’t going to launch a trap.”

Ahsoka reached for the controls and powered up the main computer. A small holographic display showing a regional map of Ryloth flashed into the air. A series of coordinates followed suite, pinpointing a valley further into the wastes.

“Glad to see something is going right,” Barriss said. “You can fly.”

“Thanks for the permission, captain.” Ahsoka powered up the engines.

“Anytime, spacer.”

***

Night fell across Ryloth swiftly, leaving Barriss and Ahsoka underneath the light of the moons above. They exited the _Starshine_ and found themselves in a bare valley nearly devoid of life save for a few shrubs and scampering lizards the size of a finger.

They found the cave without difficulty, considering it was wide enough to fly a gunship through, and surrounded by multiple speeders covered in plant life to hide them from any ships flying above, and Barriss found herself face to face with Syndulla, who was leaning against the wall with a flat expression.

“Your ship is faster than it looks. I didn’t anticipate your arrival for another twenty minutes. Speed - it’s good. Come in.” He started to walk further inside, waving for them to join him.

“Aren’t you going to ask us if we’re being followed?” Ahsoka asked him, stepping in line with Barriss.

“I know you were not followed by any Imperial forces. I’ll tell you how later. Excuse my curtness, the last few weeks have been... difficult.”

“I heard there was a raid on one of your bases,” Barriss said, ducking to avoid a low hanging stalactite.

Syndulla’s steps grew unsteady for a moment. “Yes. Perimeter guard got sloppy, and an Imperial strike force was on them in minutes. I should have listened to her when she said it was too close to the city to remain hidden.”

“Her?”

“My wife. She is dead,” he said flatly, pressing forward into the darkness.

“Oh, I’m sor-” Barriss started.

“Spare me your pity, Jedi, I have had enough of that since the Empire took over our planet.”

He shoved a section of rock. There was a small hissing sound, like steam escaping from a pipe, and a massive section of the wall, easily large enough to pilot a vehicle through swiveled open, revealing an open area filled with Twi’leks. Some of them wore blasters and the same battle-ready clothes the resistance fighters from earlier in the day had. Others, the majority, actually, were dressed in torn robes, ripped shirts, and threadbare dresses. None of them paid Barriss or Ahsoka any attention whatsoever. A large fire sat in the center of the room, releasing its pungent smoke into an opening in the roof so small Barriss almost couldn’t see the sky.

“Welcome to northern relay base number twelve of the Free Ryloth Movement,” Syndulla announced.

“Twelve? How many do you have?” Ahsoka asked.

“Over fifty, thirty-nine of which are left over from the Separatist occupation. This is the largest in the region, and the one that will be the most important for the coming week.”

Syndulla led them to a table covered in maps and, surprisingly, official Imperial timetables printed on flimsiplast. “Allow me to fill you in. The last raid by the Empire captured my lieutenant, Isval, along with several other noncombatants that sought shelter with us. I want them freed, and I believe you can prove to be a great boon to my plan.”

Barriss picked up a schematic for an Imperial detention center. “You need us to break them out of prison?”

_Please say no._

“Thankfully, no. It will be much easier than that.” Syndulla picked up one of the timetables. “Isval, along with the others, are being transported in a convoy that will stray just far away enough from the capital to allow for an ambush. It’s lightly defended. Three transports, two light attack craft.”

“Where did you steal these?” Barriss asked. “And how did you steal them without it being noticed?”

Syndulla didn’t smile, but a flash of amusement ran across his eyes. “They weren’t stolen, they were copied and given. The people of Ryloth aren’t the only ones that have reason to hate Moff Mors.”

“You have a person on the inside,” Ahsoka said. “Can they be trusted?”

“With this, yes. The both of you will turn an already easy objective into an effortless one.”

“What do you mean?” Barriss asked.

“I was hoping you would help me lead the ambush to free those people. Is that acceptable?”

“Happy to help,” Ahsoka affirmed, leaning over to study the documents. “It’ll be a cakewalk with our lightsabers and your new blasters combined.”

"Excellent," Syndulla said. "Now, if you'll look here..."

The rest of the conversation faded out of focus as Barriss became stuck on one thought, one word.

Ambush.

Ambush. Barriss was going to lead an ambush. There would explosions. Blasterfire. The humming of lightsabers. Screaming, _a lot_ of screaming. Pain.

More death. More death by _her_ hands.

Barriss told herself that it was for a good cause. The Empire was committing unspeakable atrocities across the galaxy. Enslavement. Murder. Genocide, even.

It was for a good cause, and she had the _audacity_ to be nauseous at the idea of killing the people responsible for Ryloth’s pain.

Force, she was a wreck.

“Barriss,” Ahsoka said, gently pulling the timetable out of her hand, “I’m sure Syndulla would prefer it if you didn’t rip that.”

Barriss relaxed the fingers she hadn’t felt ball into fists. She made a conscious effort to breathe and let her shoulders unwind. “Sorry.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Syndulla asked brusquely, no concern in his words at all. “You look pale.”

“Can I talk to you for a moment, Ahsoka?” She shot a glance at the frowning Syndulla. “Alone?”

Ahsoka stood up from her lean. “Of course.” She followed Barriss to a small nook away from anyone else, and noticed the anxiety Barriss bled into the Force. “What’s the matter?”

“I don’t think I can lead an ambush,” she said quietly, unwilling to look Ahsoka in the eyes. “I don’t think I can kill those guards. I can’t do it, not now.”

“Okay,” Ahsoka said. “That’s fine. We’ll find something you can do to help that won’t involve any violence.”

“I could help heal injuries,” Barriss offered. “I could help train others in how to properly use the medical supplies.”

Ahsoka smiled. “There we go. I’m sure they’ll appreciate that just as much as anything else you could do.” She laid a hand on Barriss’ shoulder, squeezing slightly. “You never have to do anything like that ambush if you don’t want to, alright?”

Force, her eyes were even more beautiful in the firelight, with those little flecks of orange dancing across the blue.

Barriss realised she was staring into those eyes without saying anything. She cleared her throat, flustered. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. Now, c’mon, let’s finish with Syndulla.”

The meeting dragged on for another hour. Syndulla accepted Barriss’ offer to help with her healing skills after confiding that, with their medicinal supplies stretched so low before their smuggling run, they had been forced to resort to using small amounts of ryl spice as an anaesthetic. Syndulla ran over the ambush plan, making it crystal clear to Ahsoka that she would be expected to link up with Syndulla at 0900 the next morning, or else they would leave without her. After that, he bid them goodnight and excused himself on the grounds of having to go make sure their supplies were being properly organized.

They exited the cave in much the same way as they had entered: stumbling in the dark and nearly tripping over rocks the whole way.

“I’m glad I can help heal,” Barriss admitted as they made their way back to the _Starshine._ “I was afraid that I’d be sitting around while you threw yourself at Imperials.”

Ahsoka laughed. “I was afraid that I’d be doing something uselessly dangerous while you were saving lives, as long as we’re being honest.” She kicked a pebble across the ground. “I’m sorry he put you on the spot like that. I’ll see if he can be a little more tactful in the future.”

“I should be the one apologising,” Barriss responded, letting her body relax. “I knew what we were getting into when we came up with this crazy idea, but I still don’t think I’m ready. I might never be ready to kill again.”

“Nothing to be ashamed about,” Ahsoka said, looking at Barriss with an earnest smile. “That’s up to you, and you alone. If you never use your lightsaber to kill ever again you’ll still be the bravest girl I’ve ever met.”

Barriss did grin like an idiot this time around. “Thanks.”

Ahsoka nudged her playfully. “Chin up. I’ll make some of my famous Togruti stir-fry for dinner.”

Images of burnt meat and smoking pans ran through Barriss’ mind. “Oh, Gods, please don’t.”

Ahsoka laughed. “You made what you wanted the last three nights in a row. It’s my turn.”

Ahsoka was many things. A skilled chef was not one of them.

“Ahsoka, I’m _begging_ you, don’t do it.”

Ahsoka threw her head back as she laughed again. “Tell you what, first one back to the ship gets to make whatever they want.”

Barriss snorted. “You can’t be serious.” She watched Ahsoka crouch down like a professional sprinter waiting for the starting blaster. “You _can’t_ be serious,” she said again, trying to convince herself.

Ahsoka flashed a lopsided grin. “I’m _always_ serious.” With that said, she launched herself towards the ship with a joyful yelp.

_So much for a fair start._

Barriss bit back a laugh and ran after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pros of writing this chapter: I liked it, got some plot development and relationship development.  
> Cons of this chapter: I am slowly becoming physically incapable of writing stuff that isn't fluff to some degree.  
> Help me  
> 1) Moff Mors, Colonel Dray, and Isval are characters from the novel The Sith Lords  
> 2) I decided that Hera's mother would already have passed away largely because I did not want to speculate as to how she died, her actual personality, or give her a name without any canon evidence to either  
> 3) One of the few things stronger than Barriss' regret is her own self-doubt  
> 4) Barriss is a total history nerd  
> 5) Just kiss already, you useless lesbians


	16. Over My Head, But It Sure Feels Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things start to heat up, and Ahsoka starts to lay on the charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I return to you victorious after a vicious struggle with writer's block, and I present to you this chapter

_“The Force works in mysterious ways.”_

_\- Traditional Jedi Saying_

A dull red glow was cast by a dying campfire. Moonlight sneaked in through breaks in the clouds. Wind rustled the grassy plains.

It was a perfect night.

The fur blanket was hot under Barriss' back. “Please,” she said with want in her eyes.

“Not yet,” Ahsoka breathed. Fingers ran down Barriss' stomach and up across her chest, tracing a pattern in her bare skin with only the lightest, most agonising of touches.

“I’m yours,” Barriss whispered.

“What was that?” Ahsoka teased.

“I’m yours,” Barriss repeated more forcefully.

“You’re mine,” Ahsoka said softly, looking down at Barriss with those ocean eyes of hers.

An olive hand cupped an orange face. Barriss rubbed the white line on Ahsoka’s cheek with her thumb, and the latter leaned into her touch. “I’m yours.”

A flash of firelight ran across Ahsoka’s teeth when she grinned. She bent down low. “You’re _mine._ ”

“I’m- Ah!” Barriss gasped as fangs scraped across her throat. “I’m _yours._ ”

Ahsoka smiled against her neck, and trailed kisses up to her ear. “I _love_ hearing you say it.” Her free hand reached into Barriss' hair. Her fingers twirled through the black curls for a while, then suddenly tightened into a fist.

Barriss leaned into her grip. Their eyes locked. “Please."

Ahsoka kissed her deeply, _hungrily,_ and Barriss kissed her back, allowing her eyes to shut as they drank from each other.

They broke, reluctantly, when their lungs screamed for air.

“You are _mine,_ ” Ahsoka said again in between pants. “ _You are mine._ ” The hand on Barriss' stomach slid over her hips. “ _Mine._ ”

Barriss grabbed Ahsoka by her back lek and pulled her into another kiss.

“ _Yours._ ”

***

Barriss awoke harshly, sitting bolt upright while sucking in a massive gasp of air. Her heart was pounding its way out of her chest, sweat was forming on her brow, her hands were balling into fists around the edge of the blanket, and Ahsoka’s name was on the tip of her tongue.

She looked around. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Dawnlight streaked in through the windows. Everything was as it should be.

Already, the dream was fading from her mind, but she could still remember what was important. Strong hands. Teasing fingers. Soft lips. Sharp teeth. Orange skin so warm, so hot, that it burned when it pressed against hers. Her own name said in a shaky, breathless voice.

Barriss felt the embarrassment and guilt wash through her, drowning everything in its wake.

_What... what was that?_

The steady rhythm of Ahsoka’s snoring came to a stop. Her eyes flicked open, and she looked Barriss up and down after lifting her face out of the pillow it was buried in. “Chrono go off?” she asked with a hint of dread.

Barriss pushed the dream from her mind. “No, still have a few hours.”

“Nice. More sleep. Move over a little bit.”

Barriss laid back down, shifting herself towards the edge of the bed so Ahsoka could properly stretch out.

Ahsoka made a pleased sound as she claimed her newly acquired room, then she turned her gaze to Barriss once more. She apparently didn’t like what she saw. “What’s the matter?”

Barriss kept her eyes on the ceiling. “Nothing.”

“I doubt that.” Ahsoka shuffled closer. “Bad dream?”

The images ran through Barriss' mind again, though they were growing dim. Soft lips. Sharp teeth. Teasing fingers.

“It wasn’t bad, per se. But it was... troubling,” Barriss said neutrally. She wished for all the world that she could just melt through the ship and sink into the planet core.

“Want to talk about it?”

Barriss pretended to consider it. “No. I’m fine, really.”

Ahsoka rolled onto her side, eyes never leaving Barriss', and she reached out with a gentle hand to brush away a stray curl of hair that lay on Barriss' forehead.

“It’s okay if you’re worried about today,” Ahsoka said softly. A slight tinge of red graced her cheeks, and Barriss felt the heat rise on her own. “You’re safe with me.”

Safe. _Safe._ The one word that helped everything make sense. Ahsoka made Barriss feel _safe._ Ahsoka made her know everything was going to be alright. Ahsoka’s presence promised her that someday all of the suffering would be worth it.

No wonder Barriss needed her.

“I know,” Barriss replied.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ahsoka continued, taking Barriss' hand. Her fingers were soft as silk.

Barriss felt lighting shoot up her arm at the touch. “I would never want you to leave.”

“Good.” Ahsoka smiled sweetly, and, with the sort of brazen audacity Barriss had associated with her since that first day on Geonosis, brought Barriss' hand to her face, and ran her knuckles across her facial markings. “I would never want to leave.” Ahsoka let Barriss' hand drift back to her stomach, but their fingers remained entwined.

“You’re safe with me,” Ahsoka repeated after a small yawn. Her eyes fluttered shut, but the smile never wavered as her breathing slowed to a restful rhythm.

Part of Barriss, the part that still saw a murderer in the mirror, was confused. What penance had she served to earn this?

The other part of her, the part that was starting to see a glimmer of forgiveness, was blissful in spite of the uncertainty, in spite of the impossibility of this attachment ever leading into anything more.

_What are we?_

_What is she to me?_

_What am I to her?_

Ahsoka squeezed her hand and nuzzled against her neck, and Barriss felt the need for answers slip away.

***

The base was a hub of activity, in contrast with the resigned relaxation of the bonfire the night before. The elderly and young alike stitched clothing together and mended damaged leathers. Others dismantled, cleaned, and reassembled blasters from the Ohnaka Gang under the bright glare of industrial lights standing nearby. Everyone that was capable of walking was preoccupied with some sort of activity to further their rebellion.

Barriss found it inspiring, that in the face of such hardship, the people of Ryloth never completely gave up.

They found Syndulla sitting at a table with his head in his hands, poring over handwritten messages scrawled on torn parchment.

“You’re twenty minutes early,” Syndulla said. He was wearing the same clothes he had the last time Barriss saw him, and his table was surrounded by three empty mugs that smelled of extra strength caf. The bags under his eyes betrayed sleeplessness.

“You’re early,” he repeated with a quirk of a brow.

“Is that a problem?” Barriss asked with a hint of concern. She still wasn’t quite sure what to make of the rebel yet. She was under the distinct impression that he was not a man to be trifled or antagonised.

“No. Just unexpected.” Syndulla rubbed his face with a gloved hand. “I’ve grown used to complications and delays. You’re a welcome surprise.”

“When was the last time someone called me a welcome surprise?” asked Ahsoka with a hint of a grin.

Syndulla stood with a fresh rush of energy. “No sense in wasting time. This way.”

He led the pair down a winding path that opened up into a wide cavern. The chamber lacked any opening in the ceiling; in place of sunlight, electric bulbs strewn between outcroppings, overly bright construction lights, and flickering lamps illuminated the room.

It soon became clear to Barriss that this was no mere storage closet. Ten bedrolls blanketed the floor, each one occupied by a Twi’lek injured in one fashion or another. Years of training kicked in, and Barriss performed triage in her mind. To her relief, none of the injuries were especially serious. There were some punctures, a few lacerations, one blaster burn, but nothing that couldn’t be solved with the proper tools and a little push with the Force.

A purple Twi’lek with gnarled hands and scarred skin stood at their arrival. His eyes darted between the three of them rapidly. “Morning, sir. Are these the Jedi?” His voice was weak and weary, and Barriss didn’t think it was due to age.

“Indeed. This is Barriss, the healer that volunteered. Barriss, this is Elav, this base’s only trained healer. Are you all ready?”

Elav shot a quick glance at a group of able-bodied Twi’leks crowded around a decrepit medical scanner decades behind what Barriss had seen during the war. They seemed to be attempting, in vain, to restore it to working order, if the scattered mechanical parts and rusted tools were sufficient evidence.

“Ready as they’ll ever be, sir.” Elav’s gaze settled on a young girl who, upon further examination, was making headway on removing the various access panels. “Are you sure she’s ready?”

Syndulla’s expression, which had brightened for a millisecond upon seeing the girl, soured into his usual scowl. “She wants to learn useful skills. I will not stop her.”

“She doesn’t desire the life of a doctor, Cham. The medbay isn’t the place for her.”

Syndulla motioned towards Barriss and Ahsoka in the same way one pointed out a particularly annoying animal. “You may have this discussion with me later, doctor.”

Barriss felt a wave of relief rush through her. She had enough of her own personal drama without getting caught up in a stranger’s. She bowed her head. “Greetings, it is my honor to assist you in your efforts to help those that need it most.”

Elav’s slouch straightened at her proclamation. “Force, I’ve missed Jedi earnesty,” he told her. “I’ll prepare the supplies. We’ve a few wounded that need treatment. I’m certain you can turn this into a learning experience.” He moved towards a table laden with scalpels, bandages, and, thank the Force, proper antiseptics.

Syndulla gave the young girl a final glance before facing Barriss. “Any questions? Elav and the adults know the basics, but you’re by far the most experienced physician in the room.”

_Time to see if I’m as good at teaching as I am at learning._

“I’ll do my best,” Barriss promised.

Syndulla shrugged at the platitude. The twist in his mouth expressed his lack of confidence better than any number of words. “For our sake, I sincerely hope your best is good enough.”

Barriss opened her mouth to reply, but Ahsoka spoke first. “Barriss' best is more than ‘good enough’. Her best is _the_ best. She’s pulled people back from death, and she’s mended me more times than I can count.”

Barriss wanted to point out that a dislocated pinky sustained from a failed attempt at acrobatics in the Temple garden was the most severe injury Ahsoka ever had healed by her, but she decided it was acceptable to take the compliment.

“I meant no disrespect. Ahsoka, the ambush party should be ready.” Syndulla walked back through the tunnel, waving for Ahsoka to follow him.

Ahsoka watched him go with a frown. “That’s my cue.”

“I suppose so.” Barriss felt a rush of nervousness as she fully understood that Ahsoka was about to go into battle. “Please, be careful.”

“This’ll be easy. I’ll bring back something as a souvenir.” Barriss' worried frown didn’t allay, and the joking ease slid off Ahsoka’s face. “I’ll be careful.”

Ahsoka’s definition of careful tended to involve more explosions and broken bones than what could be found in standard dictionaries.

“You promise?” Barriss was vaguely aware that she was playing the part of a child watching their parent go to space for the first time.

“Yes, I promise. I’ll be _extra_ careful.” A smile lurked at the corner of her mouth.

“What is it that you find _so_ funny?”

Ahsoka gave a toothy, fang-baring grin that made Barriss' heart skip a beat. “You’re very cute when you’re worried.”

Ryloth stopped spinning. Barriss' brain tried and failed to come up with an appropriate response. She ducked her head down low to hide her blush and said, “Thank.”

Yes, “Thank.” Not “Thanks.” “Thank.”

Ahsoka’s laugh was as forceful as it was nervous. “Don’t mention it! Whelp, gotta go! Catch ya later!” She fired off a few finger guns and embarked down the tunnels with a gait that fought tooth and nail to keep from speeding up into a run.

Barriss watched Ahsoka go, mind swimming with possibilities and imaginings.

Ahsoka thought she was cute.

Barriss smiled to herself like a fool, and made ready to heal.

***

Ahsoka watched the rocks and crevices of the canyon blend into a blur as the electrobinoculars fuzzed over with another burst of static. She slapped the top of the device with a growl. The static cleared for a quarter of a second before reappearing with a vengeance.

It wasn’t like she needed them anyway. The canyon below her was small and narrow. From her perch on top of the wall, it was scarcely twenty meters to the bottom. But focusing on the here and now was a helpful distraction from the conversation with Barriss she kept replaying in her head.

_“You’re very cute when you’re worried.”_

_Force, I’m as smooth as sandpaper._

Ahsoka slapped the electrobinoculars again, and had the same lack of success. Ahsoka ground her teeth.

_It’s not my fault she’s very cute._

_Besides, she seemed to like it._

_And that's good, right?_

_Yeah, of course it is._

“The explosives have been set,” Syndulla said, crouching down beside her. He pointed at the ground below their vantage point at two small mounds in the dirt at either end of the passage. If Ahsoka hadn’t known they were there, she would never have spotted them. “The AT-DPs will be destroyed immediately. After that, we just have to kill the guards inside the transports, and my people will be free.”

The convoy’s route plotted a mad dash from an outlying Imperial encampment towards Lessu, where, no doubt, transports awaited to move the prisoners to a more secure location. The canyon Syndulla had chosen to make his attack was long, winding, and narrow enough that the convoy would be forced to move in single file at a slow pace.

“That’s great,” Ahsoka responded. She shifted her legs, which were growing numb from kneeling on the hard stone. “How much time we got left?”

Syndulla checked the chrono on his wrist. “Three minutes if they’re keeping perfect time. Most likely five.” He looked at the rebels crouching down on either side of him. Some had covered their clothes and blasters with foliage as makeshift camouflage. Ahsoka appreciated the sentiment, but they would be striking the Imperials too swiftly for prolonged disguise to make much of a difference.

“No prisoners,” Syndulla instructed. “Quick and clean. Like we did at Kala’uun. If there’s an officer, kill them first. I’m not taking any chances with reinforcements getting dispatched.”

There was a resigned casualness in the way Syndulla ordered his fighters. He spoke not as a victorious, grand leader, but as a jaded soldier.

Ahsoka lowered the binoculars from her eyes and opened the casing in search of whatever mechanical error could be present. Force knows she had fixed enough scouting equipment during the war.

The powerpack was functional. No loose wires. Circuits were banged up, but not badly enough. Only thing left was the internal computer and focusing mechanism, and she couldn’t get at those in the field under a five minute time crunch.

_You win this time, binoculars._

_But only this time._

Ahsoka snapped the casing back together and gave the binoculars a good whack against an outcropping. It didn’t fix anything, but it made her feel a teensie bit better.

She peered through the lenses once more, and found nothing but static and a random flicker of color and light.

A distant mechanical rumble, probably too low for the Twi’leks to hear, reached Ahsoka’s montrals.

Ahsoka hooked the binoculars back onto her belt, and readied her lightsabers. “They’re coming.”

Syndulla gave a brusque nod and removed a small trigger from the folds of his clothes. He rubbed his thumb over the button anxiously.

“Nervous?” Ahsoka asked, cocking her head in the direction of the approaching convoy. They would be visible, soon.

“Yes, but not for my sake.” Syndulla bade the others to raise their weapons.

At the far end of the canyon, the convoy made its appearance. The lead and rear vehicles were AT-DPs, a taller, uglier version of the counterpart walkers Ahsoka had seen in the war. The transports between them were small, squat craft rolling on treads. With all the prisoners and guards jammed inside them, Ahsoka had a hard time believing that there was any room to breathe.

A Twi’lek standing at the edge of the party started the cycling process on his heavy blaster. The heavy whine made Ahsoka’s montrals ring unpleasantly. Someone kicked a pebble, sending the small stone tumbling twenty meters down into the canyon.

Syndulla held up three fingers, and his thumb hovered over the detonator.

The lead walker strode forward, ignorant of the bomb it was about to step on.

Syndulla counted down to two.

The lead walker shifted unsteadily on the recently dug ground. The transport behind it ground to a halt a healthy distance away, waiting for the others to catch up.

Syndulla counted down to one.

The rear walker continued on its path, and obediently took its place on the second set of explosives.

Syndulla pushed the button.

The first walker went up in flames. A deafening roar echoed through the canyon. A few shards of blackened metal rained from the sky while the hollow husk of the walker collapsed into pieces on the canyon floor.

The second walker twisted about wildly in its search for the source of the attack. It continued to not blow up for several seconds.

Syndulla frowned and pushed the button again.

The walker taunted him with its stubborn refusal to explode. Stormtroopers ran out of the transports and took cover behind rocks and their own vehicles in preparation for another assault.

Syndulla pushed the button again, slowly, methodically. Ahsoka ignited her lightsabers.

The walker swiveled about a final time before settling its gaze near their location atop the canyon wall. Any scanning devices on board would pick them up within a minute.

Syndulla started to pound the button rapidly, more annoyed than anything. “Ah, damn it,” he said.

“Can’t you just shoot the explosives?” Ahsoka asked hopefully. The war had taught her several things, chief amongst them being that shooting things usually made them go boom.

“No good. They’ll only detonate after getting an electrical signal from the detonator. The receiver must be broken.”

_Ah. Of course._

“Time for Plan B,” Ahsoka announced, standing to her full height. She flipped her lightsabers into a reverse grip and made ready to sprint.

“And what, exactly, is Plan B?” Syndulla asked, drawing his pistol.

“Shoot the troopers while I kill that walker.”

Syndulla sighed. “Ah... _Jedi._ Go do whatever improbable thing you’ll do.” He moved to the edge of the canyon in tandem with the other rebels and prepared to open fire.

Just before she dove down the side of the canyon, Ahsoka wondered if this constituted being careful.

The walker spotted her first when she dropped through the air. The crew wasted no time in firing a pair of blasts at her. They missed, a little too closely for comfort, and Ahsoka’s teeth shook when she landed in a crouch. She winced. Even with the Force to cushion the fall, it still did her ankles no favors.

The stormtroopers didn’t bother with orders, they raised their blasters in preparation to fire. Thankfully, Syndulla and the others revealed themselves with a hail of bolts, cutting down several troopers outright.

While they were at the top of the canyon, the rebels were still exposed to the walker. If this plan was to work, Ahsoka had to get the machine out of commission before it had an opportunity to target them.

Fortunately, its attention was solely focused on her. Another blast slammed into the ground beside her as she sprinted towards the walker, this time coating her montrals in dust. Ahsoka let the Force flow into her and hasten her movement..

_Not today._

She jumped side to side and ran in a serpentine pattern towards the walker, but the blasts were getting closer with each attempt to kill her.

_Either they’ve stepped up their targeting systems or this guy’s a good tracker._

The next blast smashed a boulder to pieces. Ahsoka felt a sudden, white-hot pain lance through her side an instant after the blast hit. She ground her teeth together and fought to keep her focus.

She almost stumbled, almost fell to the ground, almost died. But she had better things to do than die because of a little scratch.

The walker gave a halfhearted attempt to back up when she closed the last few meters, but it was too late. Ahsoka held her lightsabers out and sprinted under the walker, slicing through both of the legs with no resistance.

_Blaster-proof doesn’t mean saber-proof._

The walker collapsed face first onto the ground with a heavy _thud_ that shook the ground the same way as its cannon did. Ahsoka didn’t give the crew any time to get themselves ready. She leapt on top of the broken cockpit and stabbed through the hull until she was confident both operators were dead.

She took a moment to examine her wound. A large gash burned in her side a few centimeters below her ribs. No doubt the result of shrapnel.

_Oh, man._

_Barriss is gonna kill me._

A few blaster bolts sailed past her head. Several stormtroopers, aghast at her successful little gambit, turned their focus on her.

_Figures._

Ahsoka ran towards them, lightsabers spinning to deflect the shots fired at her. One rebounded directly into a sergeant’s helmet, spraying sparks and pieces of armor into the air. Another collided with a trooper’s arm, causing his next bolt to go wild into the back of one of the others.

Ahsoka leapt high into the air, blaster bolts flying around her, and for one glorious moment, she could pretend that she was chopping up droids. She let instinct and training take over, and she cut through the troopers as a scythe cuts through grass.

When the last trooper fell, she deactivated her lightsabers and looked up towards the rebels. They were already rappelling down the side of the canyon.

_Perfect._

Ahsoka felt something wet slide down her leg. Her wound had opened further due to her exertions, and it burned with every breath she took.

_Not perfect._

Now her favorite shirt was torn to shreds, her leggings were irreparably stained red, and she was bleeding rapidly.

_Barriss might have a point about me._

While the rebels approached the transports, Ahsoka tore off a strip of fabric from her shirt and went about bandaging herself as best as she could, which was difficult without adhesives, antibiotics, or actual medical equipment of any kind.

Syndulla jogged over to her, pistol in hand. “Wounded?”

Ahsoka felt the blood seep through the makeshift bandages. “Not badly.” She held back a wince when she tightened the binding. “I’ve had worse.”

Syndulla looked over the dead stormtroopers and the destroyed walker. “Of that, I have no doubt.” He blasted the rear control panel on the transport nearest to him. The door didn’t budge an inch.

Ahsoka shot him a questioning glance, finally finishing tying off the bandages.

“That... usually works,” he said, flustered. He cleared his throat and gave orders to crack the transports open.

Ahsoka would have assisted in breaking through the doors, but the idea of raising her arms made her cut throb in time with her heartbeat.

_Just my luck._

The prisoners exited their transports eagerly with exuberant shouts and excited whispers. Ahsoka was surprised to see several children in chains. Imperial cruelty never failed to leave a bad taste in her mouth.

A blue skinned woman saluted Syndulla after getting her restraints removed by a fellow rebel. “About time, sir.”

“I’m glad to see you too, Isval.”

“What took you so long?” Isval eyed Ahsoka suspiciously. “And who’s this?”

“Ahsoka Tano, former Jedi,” she replied. “Heard you guys needed some help.”

“I thought I heard lightsabers. Impressive, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

Ahsoka grinned. “I don’t.”

“Good.” Isval gave Syndulla an accusing glare. “There a reason why you only blew up one of the walkers?”

Syndulla produced the detonator. “Thing’s broken. Remind me to put that gang in Lessu on our supply blacklist. This is the fifth time since Empire Day they’ve given us faulty equipment.”

Isval held out a hand. “Let me see it.”

Syndulla obliged. “Can’t see what good it will do, but go ahead.”

Isval slapped the bottom of the detonator with the palm of her hand, then pushed the button.

Nothing happened.

“Told you,” Syndulla said, reaching for the detonator. “We-”

The second explosive detonated just as thunderously as the first, this time throwing up the severed legs of the walker high into the air. Everyone except Ahsoka and Isval jumped at the spectacle; Ahsoka saw that one coming a mile away.

Syndulla regained his composure and made a damned valiant attempt at acting nonplussed. “Of course, I suspected that it was a mechanical error all along.”

Isval somehow kept a straight face. “Of course you did, sir. Of course you did.”

Ahsoka cleared her throat. Another flash of pain ran across her side. “As touching as this reunion is, it won’t be long until the Empire realises that their convoy has been attacked.”

Syndulla nodded, and whistled to the gathered Twi’leks. “Everyone, to the speeders, quickly.”

***

“Very good, Hera,” Barriss encouraged. “Now tie off the end of the bandage and we’re all done.”

Hera did so with a deftness in her fingers that took some medics weeks to manage. The girl was a fast learner.

_All of them are fast learners._

“Like this?” Hera asked, looking up at Barriss with hesitant eyes.

“Yes. Like that.”

Hera grinned to herself and finished her knot with a celebratory flourish Luminara would have called “unseemly of a Jedi”.

Barriss let it slide, given the circumstances.

“Bless you,” the patient, Oola said, flexing her newly mended arm up and down. “The Force truly smiled on us when it sent you.”

Barriss bowed her head politely in the same manner she had done countless times since becoming a healer. “It is my privilege to serve. Apply more bacta if the swelling remains after the next two days.”

Oola offered more thanks and laid back down on her bedroll. Barriss turned to her students and smiled. “Who’s next?”

“We’re all done,” the man called Taro said proudly.

The woman called L’ao dusted her hands off. Barriss wasn’t sure why. The most she had done was pass a few syringes and a pair of scissors. “About time.”

Elav leaned against a table with a smirk. “That’s all of them. You’ve done more in a few hours than I’ve done since I signed up with the Free Ryloth Movement.”

“I do what I can,” Barriss equivocated. “I’m glad I could be of some service.”

“Hmph. Jedi modesty. Haven’t heard that in a while, either. Alright, younglings, back to play.” The children rushed past him towards the common room. “Same time tomorrow?” he asked Barriss.

“I suppose I could provide instruction on how to monitor vitals and perform routine checkups.” Barriss motioned towards the broken scanning machinery. “And if we can get that up and running again, you’ll be able to detect more subtle issues.”

Elav nodded. “Agreed. There’s a few more people that could use some knowledge about basic first aid, including the prisoners Cham’s freeing from the Imperials. Would you be able to give some sort of general... seminar, for lack of a better word?”

Barriss’ maintained her decorum, but inside she was bursting with pride.

_I can finally do some real good._

“That would be lovely, yes.” Barriss addressed the remaining students, including the doctor. “You can all pair up with a patient, if you want, to administer fluids and check for infection.”

The students left to follow her instructions after murmurs of thanks, leaving Barriss behind with her tools and bacta. She allowed herself to relax, and she went about washing the used instruments in a basin of water.

_They’re no doctors, but at least they won’t stab each other trying to stitch a cut._

The lesson had gone well for the most part, to Barriss’ relief. Despite the circumstances, despite the shadow of the Empire looming over Ryloth, Barriss was reminded of what it was like before the Clone Wars, when she and Luminara helped those that needed it without having to hurt anyone in the process. It reminded her of when the galaxy was bright and full of wonders, and nothing could ever go wrong.

She felt Ahsoka’s presence in the Force flare up a short distance outside of the base.

_Ah, they’re back._

_Thank goodness._

She could almost taste the relief in the air, so palpable was the feeling radiating from the returning rebels. Their numbers had grown to nearly double than the small party which had left.

_And she’s won again._

Barriss tried to quell the excitement rising in her heart. There was never _any_ doubt that Ahsoka would make it back safe and sound, but the weight flew off her shoulders all the same. She resumed cleaning her tools, content.

Ahsoka poked her head through the entrance of the medical room. “Hey, you.” A few of the Twi’leks looked up from their patients, eager for news.

Barriss met her eyes. “Hey. How did it go?”

Ahsoka grinned. “They’re all safe and sound,” she said, drawing several sighs of relief.

“Any injuries?”

Ahsoka’s smile wavered. “The prisoners are fine, but...”

“What?”

“You remember how I promised to be careful?”

Dread crept up into her. “...Yes.”

“I _was_ careful,” Ahsoka continued. “Mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“I may have gotten a scratch or two,” Ahsoka answered. “I may need your expertise.”

“‘May’?”

Ahsoka stepped into the room in all her wounded glory, bloody strips of fabric wrapped around her lower abdomen. “Yeah, ‘may’.”

Barriss wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to be worried at the sight or annoyed at Ahsoka’s flippancy, so she settled on a combination of the two.

“What happened?” Barriss asked.

“There was a problem with a walker,” Ahsoka responded, “I dealt with it, but I got hit by pieces of rock. Please help me before I bleed out.” She approached Barriss with all of her weight shifted to her uninjured side.

Barriss heaved a sigh. “Fine. Let me see it.”

Ahsoka sat down on an unopened crate and began to unwind the strips of cloth from her injury. It was... shallow, as far as shrapnel wounds went. But it was in an awkward position that would make it twist with every step.

“What’s the diagnosis, doctor?” Ahsoka asked, throwing her bandages into a receptacle.

“I can’t tell with half of it covered with your shirt,” Barriss said. “Take it off.”

Ahsoka obliged with a small hiss of pain. Once she was finished removing it, she gazed at it mournfully before balling it up and tossing it onto the floor.

“What a shame,” she said wistfully. “I looked good in that.”

“You look good in everything,” Barriss said before her brain had time to stop her mouth.

Ahsoka gave another sharp-toothed grin that made Barriss’ heart flutter. “If you say so. What’s the damage?”

Barriss noticed two things at once. The first was that the cut wasn’t quite as severe as the copious amounts of blood made it seem. The second was that Ahsoka’s abs were much more well-defined than Barriss had expected.

“Stitches are unnecessary,” Barriss said. “Bacta and my healing abilities should close it nicely, but it’ll probably scar.”

Ahsoka snickered. “Oh no, not another one.”

“Yes, another,” Barriss said. She gathered some washcloths and disinfectant fluids. “It will be small. This is going to hurt.” She soaked one of the clothes in disinfectant and began to clean the injury.

Ahsoka bit her lip and groaned lowly. “How’d your day as a teacher go?”

“Good. They’re quick learners. Some of them may actually have a future in the field, after Ryloth is freed.” She continued to clean away the wound in spite of Ahsoka’s barely suppressed hissing. “How exactly did you deal with the walker?”

“I - Ah!” She took a sharp breath. “I jumped off a cliff and cut through its legs.”

“Why? Why are you like this?” Barriss asked, hiding her grimace beneath her hand.

“People have been pondering that since Plo found me on Shili,” Ahsoka replied.

Barriss put the clothes to the side and reached for a vial of bacta. She applied some of the gel to her fingers and met Ahsoka’s eyes. “This is going to feel good,” she said in the same way one instructed a dim child.

“I’ve had bacta before, Barriss,” Ahsoka said. “Go ahead, already.”

Barriss rubbed the bacta on the wound. She was thorough, and made sure to get the entire gash covered. Bacta was a strange substance to feel. Viscous without being thick, slimy without being slick, warm to the touch even in the harshest of blizzards. But it did feel _good_ when used correctly. Ahsoka must have shared the sentiment; her eyes rolled back as the healing agent worked its magic.

Once she was sure the wound was properly cleansed, Barriss laid the tips of her fingers on Ahsoka’s side and closed her eyes. Her mind cleared, and she felt the Living Force coalesce around her, taking her into its gentle, warming grasp.

A common misconception about healing with the Force was that the regenerative energies came from the healer themselves, with the Force acting as a catalyst, a source of power. Barriss preferred to think of herself as... a conduit, of a sort. A lightning rod that the Force could latch onto in order to transfer its essence. It required concentration, focus, and an inner balance that was all but impossible to access for those of the Dark Side.

It used to be that Barriss thought she would never be able to heal with the Force again. Now it was as easy as breathing.

She heard a long, low, throaty sound escape from Ahsoka’s lips, and she knew she was finished. She opened her eyes and lifted her fingers away from the cut. What used to be a bloody gash was now a thin line of raw, unbroken skin.

“How does it feel?” Barriss asked.

Ahsoka reached and touched the line gingerly. “It’s sensitive. Still aches a bit.” She smiled. “But it’s better. You did great.”

Barriss smiled in turn. “I’m glad you think so.”

Ahsoka stood up and stretched her arms. Barriss tried not to be too distracted by the sight. “Does the good doctor have any orders?”

“The good doctor recommends that the crazy patient does not jump off cliffs or face military mechanized units in single combat.”

Ahsoka’s grin spread montral to montral. “The crazy patient takes that under advisement.”

“The good doc-”

Ahsoka bent down low and kissed Barriss on the cheek with a featherlight press of her lips.

Barriss wasn’t sitting in a cave on Ryloth anymore. She was _flying_ through the sky with a warmth in her chest and a laugh in her throat. She was _flying._

“The crazy patient is very grateful and thanks the good doctor,” Ahsoka said into her ear. “The crazy patient now needs to find another shirt to wear.”

Barriss flushed hot enough to boil water. She started to giggle and reached up to fiddle with her headscarf. “Great idea! Have fun!”

Ahsoka’s grin didn’t abate, and neither did her blush. “I’ll try. Putting on clothes is endlessly enjoyable. You need a hand with anything when I get back?”

Barriss suddenly found that she did need help, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. “As a matter of fact, I do!”

Ahsoka laughed. “I guess I can be persuaded to help. If only because the good doctor is very cute when she’s happy, too. I’ll be right back.”

Barriss watched her leave, and a different sort of hope started to cross her mind.

Maybe she would try her luck, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) This chapter's title comes from the Fleetwood Mac song "Over My Head"  
> 2) Is all this cuddling self-indulgent? Yes. Do I care? No  
> 3) Barriss is experiencing the special sort of flip-flopping that arises from thinking something is impossible while also desperately wanting it to happen  
> 4) Fun fact: This chapter was rewritten twelve (yes, 12!) times


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